1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

[Yael]

#383. Insist that D&D being a RPG, and all RPGs being made by Bioware, you should be able to earn Dark Side Points.

Here, have your cookie.

[ArqArturo]

395. With the Leadership feat, have an Expert cohort with maxed ranks in skill (clothing), knowledge (History) and skill focus on craft and knowledge. Whenever there's a chance the players find/acquire/craft a cloak -magical or otherwise- have the cohort chastise them, and recite how previous adventurers have died due to cloak-related accidents. If they insist, he must yell "No cloaks!".

[nedz]

392. Have your NPC cleric, a half-orc cleric/barbarian of a war deity (and must have Rage, Power Attack, and Divine Might) of X town have a heavy flail that heals living creatures when it strikes, instead of any actual damage (hitting undead makes normal damage). Therefore when the players ask for healing, let the cleric go nuts and start pounding them.

It won't screw with them in the long run, but watch your players' expresion when you say "As the half orc agrees to help, he whips out the meanest, biggest heavy flail you've ever seen, enters into a frenzy, and starts attacking you".

Eldritch Disciple with Eldritch Glaive or Claws — Full attack with Healing Blast

385: Have a dragon disguise itself as an entirely different kind of dragon. Laugh as it's breath weapon penetrates the party's carefully prepared wards.
386: Apply the young temple 8 times to a tarrasque. Menace the players with the dog-sized god-beast.

I've sort of done both of these
385 is easily done with Illusions or
~385: Apply Chromatic Half Dragon templates to all of your Metallic Dragons, and vice versa: So what is a Metallic Green Dragon ? Green+Silver or Blue+Gold ?
~386: Take a Tarrasque from another Prime material plane which differers from the current Prime in terms of scale: Describe how the party encounter a beetle they can't kill.

[ArqArturo]

Eldritch Disciple with Eldritch Glaive or Claws — Full attack with Healing Blast

Had an Illumian cleric of Thor ED with the glaive... I laughed maniacally as I healed with 'Thor's Lightning'.

[Sir Chuckles]

Eldritch Disciple with Eldritch Glaive or Claws — Full attack with Healing Blast

I've sort of done both of these
385 is easily done with Illusions or
~385: Apply Chromatic Half Dragon templates to all of your Metallic Dragons, and vice versa: So what is a Metallic Green Dragon ? Green+Silver or Blue+Gold ?
~386: Take a Tarrasque from another Prime material plane which differers from the current Prime in terms of scale: Describe how the party encounter a beetle they can't kill.

385 doesn't need illusions.
Just a lot of paint.

[FidgetySquirrel]

396: Make a dragonborn sorcerer who only ever casts shout.

397: Take the bastard sword proficiency feat.

398: Ask the local militia how to apply with the assassin's guild.

399: Sell your soul to a balor for a tasty sammich!

400: As a paladin, volunteer for guard duty in any large settlement. Use detect evil constantly. If anyone pings evil, bring them in for questioning.

401: Actually try the 'powder keg of justice' thing.

402: Tell the other players you'll be the party mage, then roll a wizard/sorcerer/bard.

[ArqArturo]

403. Give the party the monkey's paw.

[Doorhandle]

402: Tell the other players you'll be the party mage, then roll a wizard/sorcerer/bard.

404: Apply all your feats, spells, and skill ranks to things that allow to to host awesome parties, like "Ruharb's confetti spray."

[TheMonocleRogue]

405. Create a stone golem that looks like Andrew Jackson and use it to drive out elven natives.

[Immabozo]

385: Have a dragon disguise itself as an entirely different kind of dragon. Laugh as it's breath weapon penetrates the party's carefully prepared wards.

Had a DM do this and we did lightning damage, like 200 lightning damage and the DM wrote it all down to make it convincing! In the end, the "tank" killed it almost solo, since the other big damage dealer did a whole lot of nothing. Like 200 points of nothing.

[Angelalex242]

406:Create a new magic item called the Holy Hand Grenade.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOrgLj9lOwk

...You know the drill.

[John Longarrow]

May I sig this?

Sure! Just please give credit to "Ken". If he ever comes on here he'll know his talent for abusing the rules has preceeded him.

[Xalos]

407. Leadership feats for you and ALL your fallowers! Army of 1000s!
408. For DM's: Can you say "natural 1"?
409. For PC's: Can you say "natural 20"?
410. Steal the Kings crown (slilently) when everyone is watching... Did someone say "natural 20"?

[sideswipe]

411. pass the DM a note and say nothing... the DM nods and rolls. then the game continues.

the note is blank.

[HighWater]

412 As a DM, set up a combat between two parties that the PCs stumble in on. Then, regardless of what the PCs decide to do, start resolving that combat one attack roll at a time. INSIST ingame time slows down to accommodate for the 6 seconds per round rule (even if the PCs decide to leave the scene ASAP). Bonuspoints for making the PCs sit on their arses while you play out a 10+ vs 10+ combat of attrition. Bonus bonuspoints if you stop and look something up every other roll.

[mitsurusenpai]

413: Make rebellious players play their least-favorite kind of class.

Spoiler

Show

Use any of this and I will have a way to make you a psion.

[Thomas Hunter]

Sure! Just please give credit to "Ken". If he ever comes on here he'll know his talent for abusing the rules has preceeded him.

Schweet. Point me out of he does ;)

[Ferronach]

414: Roll up a fighter with a higher WIS than the cleric
415: Roll up a fighter with a higher INT than the rogue
416: do both and laugh when they fail will saves or skill checks that you make with ease XD

[Zirconia]

382. Play a Barbarian, never rage because you're peaceful, even though you don't follow anyone's rules.

Oy, don't remind me, our Barbarian is now at 6th level, and has only raged once, apart from when I got to run the character one night. She can't use it NOW, she might need it later. . . :p

The DM and I conspired to give her a basically artifact level Greatsword (limited to Chaotic users only) so she wouldn't constantly be overshadowed by other mid-op level party members.

I don't think this one has been done;

417: Deliberately make a character of much lower or higher power than the rest of the group. Bonus points if you complain that the game is too hard/easy.

[Xaroth]

418. Take 8 ranks in Disciple of Dispater
419. Take Improved Critical (Light Mace)
420. BLAZE IT (not related to anything before and after this number)
421. Take Two-Weapon Fighting
422. Take Weapon Focus (Light Mace)
423. Get two Masterwork Keen Aptitude Scimitars
424. Take 7 ranks in Weapon Master (Kensei) with the scimitar as your chosen weapon
425. Take Combat Reflexes
426. Take Lightning Mace
427. Laugh maniacally as everything within your reach dies because you crit on a 1-20 and get an extra attack every single time you crit

A new 418-427 can be found on page 10.

[Kazudo]

428. Use metagaming jargon without explaining it. In character. Ignore when people ask you to clarify what you mean.

DM: "So what are you working on today?"
Me: "A pretty sweet wand that the Lock can UMD. It's a WIP, and he keeps being a jerk even though I tell him to PEACH."
DM: "Uh...What?"
Me: "Oh man, it's like totally RAW for a lock to UMD a racially slanted wand. I'm not even joking. You don't even need CustServ to help you there."
DM: "Uh...aaaaaaalright. Whatever."

[John Longarrow]

429. In a Traveler Game, when hired to take out an asteroid mining complex, I am no longer allowed to hire mercenaries, have them bring in a large comms system, and have them call our ship for support once they've secured the main landing bay, thus setting off the NUKE they just brought into the complex.

[Kazudo]

I would sort of recommend keeping the items board-subject specific to avoid the thread moving.

430. Create a build that utilizes as many different dice as possible. Forget yours. Ask to borrow. Threaten to use a dice roller app instead.

[John Longarrow]

OK, I've been reviewing some old campaign notes...

431. No longer able to take leadership for the express purpose of attracting changelings to work in a brothel, regardless of how well that helps us meet ANY clients request.
432. NO PLAYING INANIMATE OBJECTS that have a PSION inside of them.

[sideswipe]

433. building a character purely around being able to eat a sphere of annihilation.

a dream my group have always shared.

[Immabozo]

419. Take Improved Critical (Light Mace)
...
423. Get two Masterwork Keen Aptitude Scimitars
...
because you crit on a 1-20 and get an extra attack every single time you crit

The feat and weapon property keen do not stack.

[Sir Chuckles]

418. Take 8 ranks in Disciple of Dispater
419. Take Improved Critical (Light Mace)
420. BLAZE IT (not related to anything before and after this number)
421. Take Two-Weapon Fighting
422. Take Weapon Focus (Light Mace)
423. Get two Masterwork Keen Aptitude Scimitars
424. Take 7 ranks in Weapon Master (Kensei) with the scimitar as your chosen weapon
425. Take Combat Reflexes
426. Take Lightning Mace
427. Laugh maniacally as everything within your reach dies because you crit on a 1-20 and get an extra attack every single time you crit

I'd prefer Balanced Aptitude Greathammers, but that's just me.

[Captnq]

418. Take 8 ranks in Disciple of Dispater
419. Take Improved Critical (Light Mace)
420. BLAZE IT (not related to anything before and after this number)
421. Take Two-Weapon Fighting
422. Take Weapon Focus (Light Mace)
423. Get two Masterwork Keen Aptitude Scimitars
424. Take 7 ranks in Weapon Master (Kensei) with the scimitar as your chosen weapon
425. Take Combat Reflexes
426. Take Lightning Mace
427. Laugh maniacally as everything within your reach dies because you crit on a 1-20 and get an extra attack every single time you crit

Any one of those is okay. Putting them together is the problem. This should only be one entry.

[nedz]

434. When DMing: Keep changing the rule system you are using forcing character re-writes. Start with 3.5, then go to 2E and then 4E etc.

[Alex12]

#435: "Okay, guys, I found this really great system I want to try out. It's called FATAL."