HUGS, why are they so amazingly awesome and bodacious?

[ngilop]

Just wondering. I mean I give hugs.. a lot.

I meet people I give hugs, I say goodbye with hugs and sometimes I just say to myself that person needs a hug.

several times ive ben told that my hug has made somebody's day much better, which is a HUGE compliment


so now that I am in a great mood myself, I just thought I ponder why hugs are so special.


PS hugs for all!

[Starwulf]

Just wondering. I mean I give hugs.. a lot.

I meet people I give hugs, I say goodbye with hugs and sometimes I just say to myself that person needs a hug.

several times ive ben told that my hug has made somebody's day much better, which is a HUGE compliment


so now that I am in a great mood myself, I just thought I ponder why hugs are so special.


PS hugs for all!

Hugs from people I know are always awesome/welcome/appreciated. On the other hand, if a complete stranger walked up to me and gave me a hug, I'd punch them, hard. LOL. Random hugs from random people are just not ok.

But yes, outside of that, I love hugs as well.

[Aedilred]

I'm not great with hugs, except from partners or very close friends. They just make me feel a bit uncomfortable, and the whole uncertainty about whether or not a hug is an appropriate way to greet a given person is itself the sort of social minefield I prefer to avoid.

[factotum]

I'm with Aedilred...maybe it's a Brit thing? Yeah, never been fond of hugs even from my closest friends and relatives.

[Coidzor]

Most (All?) humans need physical contact or they start to go crazy, IIRC. So that probably ties into this somehow.

[Eldan]

I shudder at the very idea. I mean, I don't even like friends touching me unannounced. The thought of a hug from a stranger? I'd totally freak out.

[Asta Kask]

Speaking on a biochemical level, the answer is probably that it helps release oxytocin, a hormone known to regulate pleasure, pair-bonding, romantic attachment, lactation, contractions during delivery, and a lot of other stuff. An important hormone with many functions. It would be fascinating to do binding studies with aromantics to see if they have a different distribution of oxytocine receptors, but it would probably be unethical (the gain for the aromantics would be practically nil, and there is some exposure to radiation).

NB, this is (may be) the answer on the biochemical level - it's not THE answer. That would require a multi-disciplinary approach and quite a few non-scientists as well.

[KuReshtin]

Hugs are good. I wouldn't mind at all being part of one of the 'Free Hugs' days that are organised now and then, just that I keep missing them, and doing it on my own is a bit creepy.

I have been known to take some hugs pretty seriously, even to the point where some pre-hug stretching and limbering up was necessary. To be fair, though, those hugs were pretty great.

[Gwynfrid]

Hugs are for my wife and kids. They're a precious thing for bonding and expression of intimate feelings.

On the other hand, I would totally not appreciate and be embarrassed by a stranger or even a friend giving me a hug out of the blue. If somebody explicitly asked me for a hug, I would do it if I recognized the person's need for it, but it would be fairly awkward.

Personal space and boundaries, etiquette for physical touching etc are well known as a matter of strong differences between cultures.

[FinnLassie]

Hugs are ok, but only with close friends. Although to be honest, I often have times where I absolutely refuse physical contact even from my closest friends (excluding SO, they're always in for snuggles)... If I'm not in the mood for cuddles, then hugging just brings a very unpleasant, unclean feeling with a hint of disgust.

I really don't understand why people want to hug all the time. It's weird. Shaking hands is ok most of the time though, it's a pleasant kind of greeting as long as all participants have the proper handshake etiquette.

[Asta Kask]

Finns are a strange people. They won't hug strangers, but they're quite happy to sit naked with them in the sauna.

[factotum]

Finns are a strange people. They won't hug strangers, but they're quite happy to sit naked with them in the sauna.

Doesn't sound that strange to me--there's no physical contact between the naked Finns in the sauna, so, naked or not, it's different to a hug.

[FinnLassie]

Asta, you're acting as if being naked is at all weird and strange. Hanging out in your organic leather outfit in a hot sauna (which is a place for cleansing, spiritually and physically) has nothing to do with physical contact.

And I mean, the most physical contact you'll get in a sauna is when you're getting beaten up with a bunch of birch leaves.

[Tengu_temp]

I live a life of minimal physical contact with other people - I often spend months without it at all, and the contact in question is probably just shaking hands with someone. The only people who ever hugged me are my mom, my grandfather, and my female friends.

And I am okay with this - I find the supposed need for physical contact people have highly overrated. I also know I'd generally feel weird if a stranger hugged me for any reason. This kind of thing is reserved for people you know.

[Fragenstein]

I have been known to take some hugs pretty seriously, even to the point where some pre-hug stretching and limbering up was necessary. To be fair, though, those hugs were pretty great.

Some say that his hugs require their own warm-up routine. All we know is...

I have nothing against human contact, but random hugs make me paranoid about pickpockets. Plus I don't always know if someone is going to be clean of bedbugs or other vermin.

I just have those types of people in my life.

Plus my back is very sensitive to the point of causing genuine pain if mishandled. I'm much more comfortable with a slap on the butt, lingering or otherwise.

[BWR]

Only family. Friends will probably get one if they get married or something. Except Helle who demands hugs all over the place.
Most of this is due to cultural norms - Norwegians tend to be a bit stand-offish.

[Kalmageddon]

I think hugs are for family and girlfriends/boyfriends, here in Italy it's somewhat common, expecially in the south, to hug a friend once in a while, but it's not something that makes me feel comfortable. It's not that I don't like it, I just think it's too personal.

In the context of family and intimate relationships though, it's something I tend to like. A physical display of affection is usually better than a thousand words when it comes to expressing your feelings to someone close. I also have a girlfriend that expecially likes to cuddle, so I'm more or less required to provide and recieve hugs...

[Asta Kask]

Asta, you're acting as if being naked is at all weird and strange. Hanging out in your organic leather outfit in a hot sauna (which is a place for cleansing, spiritually and physically) has nothing to do with physical contact.

And I mean, the most physical contact you'll get in a sauna is when you're getting beaten up with a bunch of birch leaves.

According to my research, you may get a little more contact than that.

As for naked being weird and strange - I don't feel a need to expose the world to my flabby body more than absolutely necesary.

[FinnLassie]

According to my research, you may get a little more contact than that.

I am really failing to see any physical contact from that article, apart from the use of the aforementioned vihta.

[Asta Kask]

You missed the part about the washing lady?

[FinnLassie]

Oh. It was probably just the cleaning lady checking that people were using the premises correctly. It's not like she's coming up to wash you.

[GolemsVoice]

The phrase "gently flagellate yourself" is gold.

That being said; hugs among friend, family and of course romantic partners are great, hugs from total strangers, well, unexpected at least. In big cities I'd worry about pickpockets, yes, as sad as that is.

All in all, however, I wanted to inject some positivity into this thread that began with such high spirits, only to drown in a barrage of "no touching".

[warty goblin]

I like hugs. Sadly, as a straight guy, chances to initiate said without creeping people out aren't exactly thick on the ground, and my default body language tends to be a bit closed or reserved, so I often don't get them even when other people do.

[Asta Kask]

Oh. It was probably just the cleaning lady checking that people were using the premises correctly. It's not like she's coming up to wash you.

No. From the article.

I once took three American journalists to a sauna in a big hotel. The men were a little bit shy so we decided they could keep their swimming trunks on. In the middle of a good löyly, the door swung open and a large old Finnish woman entered the room. She simply pointed at the first, horrified American and said bluntly: "You first, underpants off." I had forgotten to tell them about the washing-lady.

But, yeah. I like hugs. I was just fascinated by the Finnish closedness to hugs and openness to being naked with strangers.

[Coidzor]

But, yeah. I like hugs. I was just fascinated by the Finnish closedness to hugs and openness to being naked with strangers.

Maybe being naked changes the context of hugs.

[FinnLassie]

No. From the article.

Oh. I think I know what sauna they went to. I can tell you it's not really normal at all to have that. It's a really old timey-wimey thing.


Coidz: Finns don't hug naked. That's just wrong.

[Asta Kask]

Coidz: Finns don't hug naked. That's just wrong.

Finns don't hug strangers. Finns rarely hug.

Finnish version of "First Kiss"



FinnLassie, how many people have you hugged since you came to Scotland? And how many of them were not family or SO?

[FinnLassie]

FinnLassie, how many people have you hugged since you came to Scotland? And how many of them were not family or SO?

Willingly: 6-8?
Unwillingly (90% of the time followed by really bad anxiety and need to exclude self from society for a couple of days): probably... 15?

And then one SO.

*shruggy* I'm a huggy person for a regular Finn. To be honest though, few of the people I hugged willingly I would never touch again, because they've turned out to be not that nice at all.

[Coidzor]

Coidz: Finns don't hug naked. That's just wrong.

What, not even lovers? Naked sexy hugs are the best hugs, though...

[FinnLassie]

What, not even lovers? Naked sexy hugs are the best hugs, though...

This is a topic I am unwilling to discuss. It's an uncomfortable topic.