LGBTAI+ 51: Lay That Hammer Down!

[Lentrax]

Hey, I could get lucky. I could have gotten a new hire who wouldn't have meeting my mother for orientation, or a meteorite could strike my vehicle. Ending my chances of making it to the appointment.


She says her reason were so we could go somewhere and have someone neutral be able to help is. I'm not angry at her.

I am just terrified as to the chain reaction that could occur. Al
It takes is for one little, "you know Lentrax..."

Anyway. To bed with me.

[Athedia]

Hey, I could get lucky. I could have gotten a new hire who wouldn't have meeting my mother for orientation, or a meteorite could strike my vehicle. Ending my chances of making it to the appointment.


She says her reason were so we could go somewhere and have someone neutral be able to help is. I'm not angry at her.

I am just terrified as to the chain reaction that could occur. Al
It takes is for one little, "you know Lentrax..."

Anyway. To bed with me.

Even though this is drastic, if this person (the counselor) outs you to the hospital they are breaking their oath. Unless information might cause harm to the patient or others they are not allowed to share information. You may want to remind them of that and remind them that legal action will follow.

Also it disgusts me that such gossiping occurs in a hospital setting. I am not surprised but it is wholly unprofessional.

[Miriel]

Been there... Am there again...

My job ended last week, and I am back on the job hunt again. I know I'm better off than I was before because I have actual experience in the job I want in the state where I live. But that doesn't help when balanced against the 2 interviews I've had and didn't get the job, and the many a.pplications I have outstanding, waiting to hear back on.

Job hunting is just soul crushing.

I'm just looking for a part time job for the summer, and I don't really "need". It would just make my summer easier and give me more money for going to Venice next summer. I'm seriously considering not taking a job to concentrate on my research, on trans* stuff and activism, and on dealing with mental health stuff...

That is all true, and is fine, and I understand.

Here is the problem.

My mother works at the same hospital that this clinic is based out of. She has worked there for twenty years or so, and knows about every secretary, receptionist, and switchboard operator that works for the city clinics and hospitals.

And I know enough about them to know they have gaping maws a mile wide when it comes to me and my family...

That is what concerns me and fills me with fear. Is my mother finding out.

If she does, then my entire family (who all live in the same city) will know.

That is what scares me.

Ow. That's bad. Sorry...

Is there anywhere else you can go?

That is quite terrible, and honestly sounds frustratingly like people who are not aware of their privileges or of the differing experiences of others, yet are claiming the authority to decide for them. >_<

It's exactly what it is...

A report came out a bit later today. The media make it seem relatively sensible to my mind (access to everyone in theory, not only "medically" infertile couples, but some money cuts for neoliberalism), but the minister of health apparently doesn't like it, "too technical". The minister doesn't say the program will be maintained at all.

Slightly related: Here in the Danish marches, it seems there is currently discussions about whether to require that only a multidisciplinary team can decide if a patient is trans and should have treatment. This will mean that you can get hormones without desiring surgery, but it also means that the Sexological Clinic gets a true monopoly on treating trans people and that the wait will be at least six months of therapy. At the moment, SC has a reputation as gatekeepers with a lot of stereotypical assumptions about trans people, but is covered by healthcare, while at least one non-SC doctor can provide hormones with only a referral from a therapist (and even that is because he was told to get that referral or stop providing for trans people). It seems pretty problematic to me, but hopefully both the situation here and in Quebec will improve eventually. Hopefully. u_u

Oh God, that's ridiculous!

Here too the adult gender clinic is a gatekeeping entreprise. I read 1 to 3 years before hormones. WTF? When I met a psychologist from there (forced by parents), she said the Standards of Care required a one-year real life experience before hormones, which they don't. Until about a decade-ish ago, they had monopoly on hormones, so trans people bought hormones on the black market, with the expected results. Great job guys...

But doctors do prescribe hormones now. We even have several ways to get them without passing through the gender clinic, some with informed consent policies

[Lex-Kat]

That is all true, and is fine, and I understand.

Here is the problem.

My mother works at the same hospital that this clinic is based out of. She has worked there for twenty years or so, and knows about every secretary, receptionist, and switchboard operator that works for the city clinics and hospitals.

And I know enough about them to know they have gaping maws a mile wide when it comes to me and my family...

That is what concerns me and fills me with fear. Is my mother finding out.

If she does, then my entire family (who all live in the same city) will know.

That is what scares me.

Ouch! I can understand this. Part of me dreads telling my brother and sister-in-law. I'm foreseeing a lot of grief from that side of the family.

Even though this is drastic, if this person (the counselor) outs you to the hospital they are breaking their oath. Unless information might cause harm to the patient or others they are not allowed to share information. You may want to remind them of that and remind them that legal action will follow.

Also it disgusts me that such gossiping occurs in a hospital setting. I am not surprised but it is wholly unprofessional.

I don't think it was the counselor Lentrax was worried about outing her. I think it was the receptionist/secretary.

And I agree. They should keep their mouths shut. It's inappropriate and unprofessional to be gossiping about patients, even if you are not the doctor/therapist/counsellor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Speaking of therapists, I went to see mine today. And in the course of talking, she brought up that Medicare has changed their policy of automatically denying sex reassignment surgeries. She said this was a good thing, as a lot of American insurance companies tend to follow Medicare's footsteps when it comes to policy changes and such. Is this old news to you guys? All the articles about it show May 30^th 2014, so maybe you already talked about it?

[Comrade]

Speaking of therapists, I went to see mine today. And in the course of talking, she brought up that Medicare has changed their policy of automatically denying sex reassignment surgeries. She said this was a good thing, as a lot of American insurance companies tend to follow Medicare's footsteps when it comes to policy changes and such. Is this old news to you guys? All the articles about it show May 30^th 2014, so maybe you already talked about it?

It's great news! I hear Fox News was flipping a **** over it, so you know it's gotta be good.

Anyway, this isn't at all related to LGBT issues whatsoever, but in case there are any guitar players/Led Zeppelin fans present who just might sympathise... I believe there may well be no more soul-crushing an experience than consistently failing to flawlessly nail that solo at the end of Black Dog. Time. And time. Again. ;_;

[Miriel]

Speaking of therapists, I went to see mine today. And in the course of talking, she brought up that Medicare has changed their policy of automatically denying sex reassignment surgeries. She said this was a good thing, as a lot of American insurance companies tend to follow Medicare's footsteps when it comes to policy changes and such. Is this old news to you guys? All the articles about it show May 30^th 2014, so maybe you already talked about it?

I didn't hear about it, but it's great!

I wish that some day, FFS and laser/electrolysis also become accessible. I want both of those more badly than SRS, yet only SRS is paid for. Oh well...


Hum, on the subject of SRS, because it came up and, hum... I feel happy when I think of it... I'm more and more certain that I want it. I'll try to do that around Spring 2016. Or perhaps even at the Fall. I just can't now because, hum, restrictions, Standards of Care and stuff. I'll need to see a gender psychologist sometime soon for that. I can wait, but I really want it. Dysphoria "down there" is stronger sometimes. The idea that I wouldn't have to tuck and I'd be able to sleep normally with stuff dangling about... Yeah. I'm all for that.

[Jaycemonde]

Good to hear about the Medicare thing, and FOX Network can **** my ladyc**k. Same for CNN, I'm not biased.

ANYWAY, best of luck to Lentrax with the counselor. I know how irritating and worrying that can be.

[Ravens_cry]

Dear god, yes. If BC is going to pay for surgery like breast augmentation (though not the travel costs, which sucks), pay for vaginoplasty, help pay for hormones, why the frack wouldn't they pay for electrolysis and tracheal shaving? Seriously, it's ridiculous. Facial hair is just, ugh, one of those things that make me feel absolutely, 100% wrong, and I hate, hate every time I have to pick up that damn <expletive redacted/> razor.

[Lex-Kat]

I hate body and facial hair. There are only three places that I believe should have fur/hair. And that's eyelashes/brows, top of the head, and "down there" . Each should be groomed to look nice and neat. Everything else should be shaven or lasered to death .

But that's just my opinion on the matter.

[golentan]

I hate body and facial hair. There are only three places that I believe should have fur/hair. And that's eyelashes/brows, top of the head, and "down there" . Each should be groomed to look nice and neat. Everything else should be shaven or lasered to death .

But that's just my opinion on the matter.

Hair is disgusting. I miss my old body something fierce.

[TaiLiu]

Hair is disgusting. I miss my old body something fierce.

Fascinating. Do tell.

[golentan]

Fascinating. Do tell.

When I was a kid, think dolphin skin. Smooth, layer of insulating fat under there, nice and shiny.

After my Rite of Caste, I grew an exoskeleton. I don't remember what all was in it (I know it was complex, it had all sorts of fibers and layers to do everything from stop a lot of kinetic weaponry cold to dissipate the heat from laser or plasma fire and other things), but it was really slick. Felt sort of like waxed tile...

And I had 4 arms, and a 2 pairs of legs one of which could be used as a clumsy pair of hands if necessary.

I could lick my own eyes. Really good sense of taste. Tentacular, and prehensile. And if you think a tongue like that didn't have recreational uses as well...

My eyes were all pretty and looked sort of like polished opal.

I liked having stripes. And I could consciously control coloration some degree with chromatophores.

I could breathe water for long periods of time, which was almost as good as flying.

[TaiLiu]

When I was a kid, think dolphin skin. Smooth, layer of insulating fat under there, nice and shiny.

After my Rite of Caste, I grew an exoskeleton. I don't remember what all was in it (I know it was complex, it had all sorts of fibers and layers to do everything from stop a lot of kinetic weaponry cold to dissipate the heat from laser or plasma fire and other things), but it was really slick. Felt sort of like waxed tile...

And I had 4 arms, and a 2 pairs of legs one of which could be used as a clumsy pair of hands if necessary.

I could lick my own eyes. Really good sense of taste. Tentacular, and prehensile. And if you think a tongue like that didn't have recreational uses as well...

My eyes were all pretty and looked sort of like polished opal.

I liked having stripes. And I could consciously control coloration some degree with chromatophores.

I could breathe water for long periods of time, which was almost as good as flying.

Ah! If I put you on the spot and asked you where everything was if you were in your old body, would you be able to point everything out?

[golentan]

Ah! If I put you on the spot and asked you where everything was if you were in your old body, would you be able to point everything out?

I... Think so? I'm not quite sure what you're asking, to be honest.

[TaiLiu]

I... Think so? I'm not quite sure what you're asking, to be honest.

I presume that your elder body is the same size category as your current one. Could I ask you where, say, your stripes used to be? Your arms, your legs?

[golentan]

I presume that your elder body is the same size category as your current one. Could I ask you where, say, your stripes used to be? Your arms, your legs?

Arms and legs were pretty much monocolor. The stripes were face and body.

[TaiLiu]

Arms and legs were pretty much monocolor. The stripes were face and body.

Those were theoretical questions, but I thank you for your response all the same. In any case, I understand there are others like you - "otherkin," if I remember correctly.

[golentan]

Those were theoretical questions, but I thank you for your response all the same. In any case, I understand there are others like you - "otherkin," if I remember correctly.

Yeah, but they're crazy. I don't like them. I may be crazy, but I at least recognize it as crazy.

[TaiLiu]

Yeah, but they're crazy. I don't like them. I may be crazy, but I at least recognize it as crazy.

You believe it to be a delusion, then.

[golentan]

You believe it to be a delusion, then.

I believe it to be more rationally and reasonably described as a delusion, which raises fewer questions and suffers fewer consequences than assuming the alternative. Besides, my memories include serious brain damage as a consequence of my later adventures. The one thing I, my memories, and my therapist all agree on is that I'm crazy. I may not always bother to contain the crazy, but I can at least acknowledge it.

[TaiLiu]

I believe it to be more rationally and reasonably described as a delusion, which raises fewer questions and suffers fewer consequences than assuming the alternative. Besides, my memories include serious brain damage as a consequence of my later adventures. The one thing I, my memories, and my therapist all agree on is that I'm crazy. I may not always bother to contain the crazy, but I can at least acknowledge it.

Hm. What has your therapist said about your false memories, besides 'crazy?'

[golentan]

Hm. What has your therapist said about your false memories, besides 'crazy?'

To be clear, he's too much of a professional to use that word. I just paraphrased. He says he thinks they're a stress relief mechanism of sorts, and possibly my brain's solution to the fact I don't form memories very easily. As I like to say, I can remember anything that didn't happen to me.

[TaiLiu]

To be clear, he's too much of a professional to use that word. I just paraphrased. He says he thinks they're a stress relief mechanism of sorts, and possibly my brain's solution to the fact I don't form memories very easily. As I like to say, I can remember anything that didn't happen to me.

Ah. He believes the cause lies in the cognitive realm, I see. Has he suggested reasons why your memories took this exact form?

[golentan]

Ah. He believes the cause lies in the cognitive realm, I see. Has he suggested reasons why your memories took this exact form?

No. We talk more about immediate stressors or the way it interferes with my daily life, and leave the actual psychotic symptoms to the Psychiatrist, who is mostly content with my response to the pills rather than focused on the exact nature of the symptoms.

[TaiLiu]

No. We talk more about immediate stressors or the way it interferes with my daily life, and leave the actual psychotic symptoms to the Psychiatrist, who is mostly content with my response to the pills rather than focused on the exact nature of the symptoms.

He refuses to play psychoanalyst, eh? Fair enough, though I am surprised you're taking medicine for this. Why, and what kind?

[golentan]

He refuses to play psychoanalyst, eh? Fair enough, though I am surprised you're taking medicine for this. Why, and what kind?

Because it's remarkably hard to focus on or care about daily life when you have thousands of years of memories that get triggered constantly by things around you. "Hey, he plays with his bangs just like my former husband. Sweet man, whatever happened to him. Oh right, he died of consumption." Nothing makes it go away, but after years of experimentation we've come up with a cocktail of antipsychotics and antidepressants makes it tolerable and prevents me from going suicidal again.

And more details than that won't be forthcoming unless we establish a familial or professional medical relationship.

[Asta Kask]

Nothing makes it go away, but after years of experimentation we've come up with a cocktail of antipsychotics and antidepressants makes it tolerable and prevents me from going suicidal again.

That's good. I've been suicidal, and it's nothing I wish on anyone.

[TaiLiu]

Because it's remarkably hard to focus on or care about daily life when you have thousands of years of memories that get triggered constantly by things around you. "Hey, he plays with his bangs just like my former husband. Sweet man, whatever happened to him. Oh right, he died of consumption." Nothing makes it go away, but after years of experimentation we've come up with a cocktail of antipsychotics and antidepressants makes it tolerable and prevents me from going suicidal again.

Thousands of years of memories - utterly fascinating...

And more details than that won't be forthcoming unless we establish a familial or professional medical relationship.

Of course. It was a pleasure talking to you, Golentan.

[KerfuffleMach2]

Golentan...

I mean this in the best way possible. I am in no way trying to belittle or make light of how hard it must be to live with what you have.

But...

Your life sounds like it could make for a really good book.

I would read your memoirs.

[Kesnit]

I hate body and facial hair. There are only three places that I believe should have fur/hair. And that's eyelashes/brows, top of the head, and "down there" . Each should be groomed to look nice and neat. Everything else should be shaven or lasered to death .

But that's just my opinion on the matter.

I disagree completely, though my reasons are probably the reverse of yours.

Growing body (and eventually facial) hair were the first, and most obvious signs of my transition. Even years later, I feel wrong when I'm clean shaven. (Which makes interviewing interesting, because I have to shave for interviews.) Also, likely because my facial features are feminine, I look like I'm 12 when I'm clean shaven...