LGBTAI+ 51: Lay That Hammer Down!

[Grytorm]

Today I realized that malls are extremely creepy. I went to one today, looked around at all the stores, and saw how many clothing stores were there. It is just plain creepy. I considered getting makeup and trying to figure it out myself but I realized it is available in an overwhelming selection and is rather expensive. I might see if any of my few friends would be willing to help me try makeup. A list of people I could ask is very short. Two people definately and maybe a third person.

[Lentrax]

Just posting on here that I am still lurking about. Just have nothing to add, so I don't.

However, that being said, I am still available to receive PMs if you ever need anyone to talk to. Want to rant, rave, or slag?

Call me. I can take it. I might even be able to say something that helps.

[Wasteland Exile]

There's no checklist of criteria for asexuality, of course, but as someone who identifies as asexual myself, I'd recommend looking at this page.

Thank you so much. That's actually a really helpful site. I've been in the uncomfortable zone of not really being able to define things.

[WarKitty]

Thaaaaat... actually really, really annoys me. The messy-headed ponytails on guys, I mean. I desperately want to go at them with a hairbrush.

It's a bit annoying, but the real realization for me is that even what I see as a "neat" ponytail on a man is much messier than the every-hair-in-place style I'd normally wear as a girl.

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Hmm... I've been kind of meeting that in the middle by brushing my hair, then pulling it back from the sides into a loose ponytail with my normal part. Sometimes a bit will stick up until I smooth it out, and there's almost always a bunch of hairs at the base of my skull that stick out that don't get entirely covered up because the tail's higher. If I'm doing it because I just feel like it, though (instead of just needing it out of my face and/or something I'm working on), I like to leave a bit loose at the front and keep it behind my ear. X3

*Wonders if you have any advice on handling those base-of-skull hairs? Has been considering laying on her bed so gravity pulls it back, isn't sure if that'd work very well*

My default girl ponytail uses a pair of clips (this kind) at the back to hold things in. Plus hairspray or gel to control the frizz. There's also the little half-ponytail a lot of women wear as an acceptably messy style. This is formed by simply not pulling the ponytail all the way through on the last loop, instead leaving it as a little loop with the top sticking up. I'm not finding pictures for some reason, but it's a nice little messy girl's style.

[SiuiS]

It's a bit annoying, but the real realization for me is that even what I see as a "neat" ponytail on a man is much messier than the every-hair-in-place style I'd normally wear as a girl.

Oh, that's actually a symptom of men not having nearly the same standards of care for their hair. Not only are they not taught to manage it as well as women, they aren't held as accountable. That messiness is damaged hair poking out untamed and untrained, not just beig messy.

My default girl ponytail uses a pair of clips (this kind) at the back to hold things in. Plus hairspray or gel to control the frizz. There's also the little half-ponytail a lot of women wear as an acceptably messy style. This is formed by simply not pulling the ponytail all the way through on the last loop, instead leaving it as a little loop with the top sticking up. I'm not finding pictures for some reason, but it's a nice little messy girl's style.

That half loop is my default style, since I'm usually at work or asleep. The position of best comfort ends up with the loop being completely overtaken by the hair popping up, so my hair looks much shorter (you see hair tie and the top hangig down, that's it).

[Arachu]

My default girl ponytail uses a pair of clips (this kind) at the back to hold things in. Plus hairspray or gel to control the frizz. There's also the little half-ponytail a lot of women wear as an acceptably messy style. This is formed by simply not pulling the ponytail all the way through on the last loop, instead leaving it as a little loop with the top sticking up. I'm not finding pictures for some reason, but it's a nice little messy girl's style.

Hm hm. I don't really like using gel or hairspray that much, but I do have some clips around somewhere~

You mean like not pulling your hair all the way through? *Always has to loop hers three times or it slowly loosens over the course of the day - lost a holder that one time* DXD

Oh, that's actually a symptom of men not having nearly the same standards of care for their hair. Not only are they not taught to manage it as well as women, they aren't held as accountable. That messiness is damaged hair poking out untamed and untrained, not just beig messy.

It doesn't help that a lot of males are expected to keep their hair short - it'd at least be possible to learn how to take care of longer hair if you had it, but if you just sorta grow it out for the first time there's... Quite a bit of trial-and-error (much like growing your nails out for the first time). @.@


~Bianca

[Cloud Rat]

So, I'm a girl today.

Question- are there any explicitly male outfit/hair choices that are inherently male that I should be wary of? My hair goes down to my back- I usually just tie it up for girl days, but I'm thinking of trying some new things, and I wanna avoid certain choices made for only one gender.

[Arkhosia]

'Hello guys, 'sup?
I just got back from a field trip to DC!
Also, think I might just be genderfluid or androgynous

[ArlEammon]

Can I talk to Metditto?
I have some um. . . triggeresque questions.

[Coidzor]

So, I'm a girl today.

Question- are there any explicitly male outfit/hair choices that are inherently male that I should be wary of? My hair goes down to my back- I usually just tie it up for girl days, but I'm thinking of trying some new things, and I wanna avoid certain choices made for only one gender.

Spoiler: tl;dr: Can't think of anything you wouldn't know on sight.

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Well, I suppose you probably wouldn't want to dress up as a leatherman(leather man?) then, but other than similarly very specific examples that you should probably already know about, nothing really comes to mind as far as traps or pitfalls. I suppose if you pulled out a Femme Tuxedo, or boring old regular Tuxedo, then you would get some second glances, but that would mainly depend upon how well you were passing and if a tuxedo was ridiculously overdressed for where you were.

As far as hair goes... unless you're a fan of going bald, buzzed, looking like Skrillex, or with a glorious Pompadour, you're probably good. I suppose a chonmage top knot would also draw a mixture of confusion & male coding, but you're not likely to want to wear one of those. Assuming some base level cultural awareness, it seems unlikely that one would accidentally male-coded hair. Or at least, wracking my brain, I can't think of anything that wouldn't be obvious before one had one's hair made up in that manner. Especially if you're not getting a massive length reduction, since the only male hairstyle with length like that would be the cue/queue.

[WarKitty]

So, I'm a girl today.

Question- are there any explicitly male outfit/hair choices that are inherently male that I should be wary of? My hair goes down to my back- I usually just tie it up for girl days, but I'm thinking of trying some new things, and I wanna avoid certain choices made for only one gender.

My main advice would be to keep it as neat as you can. Brush it smooth, pull back, and brush it all back into your hand so it's as smooth as you can make it before you tie it up.

[Grytorm]

What would "blended face powder" be? In my sisters makeup box thing I have found a reasonably large round of it. I have tried putting it on a few times but it doesn't look right. At least partially because I don't have the brush that goes with it and have used tissue. Would it be foundation?

Also I tries on lipstick today. It feels interesting but I do not know if I actively like it. I don't actively dislike it. But I am the kind of person who often doesn't care what people look like so I have a hard time forming an active opinion about myself. However I have realized I don't particularly like my eyes.

[Coidzor]

What would "blended face powder" be? In my sisters makeup box thing I have found a reasonably large round of it. I have tried putting it on a few times but it doesn't look right. At least partially because I don't have the brush that goes with it and have used tissue. Would it be foundation?

Also I tries on lipstick today. It feels interesting but I do not know if I actively like it. I don't actively dislike it. But I am the kind of person who often doesn't care what people look like so I have a hard time forming an active opinion about myself. However I have realized I don't particularly like my eyes.

It seems to be a "setting powder" whatever that means. I think it's supposed to seal your foundation/wet makeup so that it's more protected/lasts longer/is "sealed."

I wouldn't like lipstick in my eyes either. So why don't you like your eyes?

[Irish Musician]

Just posting on here that I am still lurking about. Just have nothing to add, so I don't.

However, that being said, I am still available to receive PMs if you ever need anyone to talk to. Want to rant, rave, or slag?

Call me. I can take it. I might even be able to say something that helps.

*hugs*

[Grytorm]

I don't like my eyes because they are to far back, perhaps because I am not getting enough sleep. And it doesn't look like the area around me eyes are very big. Not a lot of space above them before I reach my eyebrows. This is made worse by somewhat long bangs.

[ArlEammon]

Is anyone in here willing to answer some adult questions I have?

[SiuiS]

I can try to help, but be aware that I am me. Some people find me opaque, some people find me disrespectful or mean apparently, and some people find me too detached from things to be helpful.

[Miriel]

*Gives Caroline big hugs*

Thank you I'll need them.

And here's a couple of (kinda low res) photos my sis-in-law took when we went to the Miss Fisher costume exhibition:

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You're just so pretty...

And a life update:

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Still fighting depression, had a few like panic attacks and such, still not working but I'm on benefits now at least (been about 8 months since I was in hospital). My daughter moved away but she comes down and stays for a weekend every month now and a week during holidays, and she's using female pronouns with me so life's kind of going well in some ways.

Biggest problem is I sleep far too much, like 16 hours some days, just have no enthusiasm to get out of bed some days.

Like others, I understand the "no enthusiasm" thing, etc. *hug offer* I'm doing sort of okay on my good days, + I'm kept alive by all the work (pleasant or not) I have to do. I rarely actually "sleep" because insomnia, anxiety, stuff. Even so, I'm sort of functional about 8 hours a day, starting around 2 p.m., including the time I spend doing my makeup and stuff. And after that, I spend the evening crying and being depressed until I'm so tired I fall asleep. And after a few days of being functional, I crash completely for a couple of days. Eating is a problem.

Hum. Sorry I answered your post by complaining randomly...

It's nice that your daughter uses the right pronouns though

Today I realized that malls are extremely creepy. I went to one today, looked around at all the stores, and saw how many clothing stores were there. It is just plain creepy. I considered getting makeup and trying to figure it out myself but I realized it is available in an overwhelming selection and is rather expensive. I might see if any of my few friends would be willing to help me try makeup. A list of people I could ask is very short. Two people definately and maybe a third person.

You can buy it online, it's less scary that way. But yeah, it's never free. But to start/try out, it may be best to buy cheap brands.

What would "blended face powder" be? In my sisters makeup box thing I have found a reasonably large round of it. I have tried putting it on a few times but it doesn't look right. At least partially because I don't have the brush that goes with it and have used tissue. Would it be foundation?

Also I tries on lipstick today. It feels interesting but I do not know if I actively like it. I don't actively dislike it. But I am the kind of person who often doesn't care what people look like so I have a hard time forming an active opinion about myself. However I have realized I don't particularly like my eyes.

It's what it says -- powder. You put it over your foundation, or you can put it without foundation too, but it's not foundation. And yeah, powder without anything, it won't work very well... Video on how to apply powder.

For eyes, you will need eyeliner (prefereably a pen marker). You can do many things and it's relatively easy.

[HMS Sophia]

Is anyone in here willing to answer some adult questions I have?

I would be if you're still around, but I can be pretty blunt.

[Lycunadari]

Yeah, that was so accurate it's scary. Didn't notice I was picking at my nails through it and now my thumb's bleeding.



I hope not. *looks awkwardly at new person upthread's name*

And here's a couple of (kinda low res) photos my sis-in-law took when we went to the Miss Fisher costume exhibition:

Spoiler

Show

And a life update:

Spoiler

Show

Still fighting depression, had a few like panic attacks and such, still not working but I'm on benefits now at least (been about 8 months since I was in hospital). My daughter moved away but she comes down and stays for a weekend every month now and a week during holidays, and she's using female pronouns with me so life's kind of going well in some ways.

Biggest problem is I sleep far too much, like 16 hours some days, just have no enthusiasm to get out of bed some days.

Zorg, you are so pretty, and you have such lovely clothes! And I hope things get better for you, depression really sucks. I wish I could do more to help you than just write here...


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Spoiler: Rant, dysphoria

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I hate my chest so much these days. It's getting hot outside and I'm so envious of the guys who can just take of their shirts and go topless. But even if it was socially acceptable for people with breasts to go topless, I still couldn't do it because it would make every attempt at passing futile (not that I pass as anything other than female if I wear clothes, but I can at least try).
I can't wear tight or thin shirts without a binder if I don't want to get stares because my nipples show through my clothes, and I still have to wear a binder with all clothes if I don't want to get dysphoric every time I look into a mirror because it's getting to warm to just hide under several layers of clothes. But binding sucks, it's hot and it hurts, and my binder tends to roll up or down, or doesn't stay in place.
I really want top surgery but I'd probably have to pay for it myself because I'm not a trans guy and I don't even know if there are any places that offer it for non-medical reasons.

– Juniper

[SiuiS]

Oof. First real brush with Baby Won't Stop Crying. Turned that from a nap to an exhausted sleep. >_<

Spoiler: Rant, dysphoria

Show

I hate my chest so much these days. It's getting hot outside and I'm so envious of the guys who can just take of their shirts and go topless. But even if it was socially acceptable for people with breasts to go topless, I still couldn't do it because it would make every attempt at passing futile (not that I pass as anything other than female if I wear clothes, but I can at least try).
I can't wear tight or thin shirts without a binder if I don't want to get stares because my nipples show through my clothes, and I still have to wear a binder with all clothes if I don't want to get dysphoric every time I look into a mirror because it's getting to warm to just hide under several layers of clothes. But binding sucks, it's hot and it hurts, and my binder tends to roll up or down, or doesn't stay in place.
I really want top surgery but I'd probably have to pay for it myself because I'm not a trans guy and I don't even know if there are any places that offer it for non-medical reasons.

Mm. I understand. I do think you pass, though, at least visually.
I'm not sure on the surgery, actually. Worth looking into.

[HMS Sophia]

Oof. First real brush with Baby Won't Stop Crying. Turned that from a nap to an exhausted sleep. >_<

SiuiS has a wee one? Quick, we must share horror stories of child rearing to scare all the non parents

[Asta Kask]

SiuiS has a wee one? Quick, we must share horror stories of child rearing to scare all the non parents

I hear Brazen Shield has one too.

[Kindablue]

I hear Brazen Shield has one too.

They should share parenting tips or something.

[HMS Sophia]

I hear Brazen Shield has one too.

What is this madness? People? Breeding? crazy...

They should share parenting tips or something.

That's something that never causes arguments

[Asta Kask]

Well, apparently they've met in real life so maybe they can get on without too many arguments.

[Kindablue]

Well, apparently they've met in real life so maybe they can get on without too many arguments.

Huh, that's weird. Small world.

[Philemonite]

Asta, stop messing with people, even if it is fun.

Si and Braz have a baby together.

[SiuiS]

They should share parenting tips or something.

Oooh no! That's how this whole thing got started! No more tips for her.

[Kindablue]

Oooh no! That's how this whole thing got started! No more tips for her.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uXILNncQwH4