LGBTAI+ 51: Lay That Hammer Down!

[Astrella]

I should be getting my name After much fighting, it was agreed that I would only need a letter from my pharmacist.

Oh, and I had some free time and answered frequent Google questions on trans stuff.

That's good. :)

[Philemonite]

I should be getting my name After much fighting, it was agreed that I would only need a letter from my pharmacist.

Oh, and I had some free time and answered frequent Google questions on trans stuff.

You are so awesome.

[Comrade]

I should be getting my name After much fighting, it was agreed that I would only need a letter from my pharmacist.

Oh, and I had some free time and answered frequent Google questions on trans stuff.

Nice article! And good luck with your name.

[Marnath]

I should be getting my name After much fighting, it was agreed that I would only need a letter from my pharmacist.

Oh, and I had some free time and answered frequent Google questions on trans stuff.

Nice!

Why a pharmacist, though? Don't they only hand out the medications that Doctors tell them you can have?

[Axinian]

I should be getting my name After much fighting, it was agreed that I would only need a letter from my pharmacist.

Oh, and I had some free time and answered frequent Google questions on trans stuff.

Yay!

And I love reading your articles. The stuff you talk about is very important and true, and really needs more attention.

after all, if you're "a woman in a man's body," you always were a woman, you just "received the wrong body. (This topos is not one that is used by all trans people to describe their experience. I don't like it, for one

This actually made me feel really good. I've been feeling down lately because I've been reaching out and reading trans literature and the like recently in the hopes finding someone to relate to in this. Oddly, I've felt MORE alone since I've been doing this, because I haven't been able to find someone who's narrative really syncs up with mine. The "feeling wrong since childhood and I'm born in the wrong body" thing, I feel, is a sort of general, or "Hollywood-ized" experience. This is not to disparage those for whom this experience is true, but I feel people tend to take this story and assume it's the case for everyone (even some trans people do this). Like this is the plot they would use to make a movie about a transgender person without even considering other possible experiences. Seeing someone else critical of this description made me feel not as alone

Me, I've come to feel that I am transexual, but not necessarily transgender in the assumed sense. I'm waffling between agender and gender fluid, but I definitely want a female body. I don't feel that my "spirit" is necessarily female all the time (or necessarily gendered) but I am still at odds with my body for some reason. I haven't really asked around here, but I've been unable to find people who feel the same. I'm not presuming that you feel the same either, but this short phrase helped a lot.

[KerfuffleMach2]

Yay!

And I love reading your articles. The stuff you talk about is very important and true, and really needs more attention.



This actually made me feel really good. I've been feeling down lately because I've been reaching out and reading trans literature and the like recently in the hopes finding someone to relate to in this. Oddly, I've felt MORE alone since I've been doing this, because I haven't been able to find someone who's narrative really syncs up with mine. The "feeling wrong since childhood and I'm born in the wrong body" thing, I feel, is a sort of general, or "Hollywood-ized" experience. This is not to disparage those for whom this experience is true, but I feel people tend to take this story and assume it's the case for everyone (even some trans people do this). Like this is the plot they would use to make a movie about a transgender person without even considering other possible experiences. Seeing someone else critical of this description made me feel not as alone

Me, I've come to feel that I am transexual, but not necessarily transgender in the assumed sense. I'm waffling between agender and gender fluid, but I definitely want a female body. I don't feel that my "spirit" is necessarily female all the time (or necessarily gendered) but I am still at odds with my body for some reason. I haven't really asked around here, but I've been unable to find people who feel the same. I'm not presuming that you feel the same either, but this short phrase helped a lot.

My opinion on that stuff is that you are who you are. Screw labels. Don't need them. You're just whoever you are.

[Lex-Kat]

I should be getting my name After much fighting, it was agreed that I would only need a letter from my pharmacist.

Awesome!

Oh, and I had some free time and answered frequent Google questions on trans stuff.

Cool. I'll read it in a while.

Why a pharmacist, though? Don't they only hand out the medications that Doctors tell them you can have?

I could be wrong, but I think the question answers itself. Their records can show that Caroline does indeed buy and take the hormones they want proof of.

[Asta Kask]

My opinion on that stuff is that you are who you are. Screw labels. Don't need them. You're just whoever you are.

I don't know. Labels save a lot of work (provided both people use them the same way). By saying something like "I'm Jewish" you've spared everyone involved a long conversation of dietary practices. Very handy.

[KerfuffleMach2]

I don't know. Labels save a lot of work (provided both people use them the same way). By saying something like "I'm Jewish" you've spared everyone involved a long conversation of dietary practices. Very handy.

Well, I guess I meant more on how you see yourself.

[Mono Vertigo]

Hi.
I'm thinking of starting a parallel LGBT+ thread, meant for education rather than support, and with a different tone. If I go through with the project and post it, anyone who would like to participate and answer questions, LGBT or ally, is very welcome.
I have a draft for the OP. Hopefully, I haven't made any glaring mistake.

Spoiler: Draft!

Show

Hello!
Welcome to the LGBT+ questions thread. This thread is meant to answer all sorts of questions one may have about the community, and have a casual atmosphere.
As such, this is an education thread, not a support thread (which you can conveniently find [there] instead). Why the split? Because the main thread is mostly populated by LGBT people who are seeking, well, support, and some questions or misunderstandings can be causes of additional stress. You can ask these questions here instead, and receive answers from LGBT people or allies. They can be as general or as narrow as you want.

A couple things you need to know before browsing the rest of this thread:
- if you are LGBT+ but do not wish to educate people, or are likely to be offended by the lack of knowledge of some people, you're probably better off not reading this thread.
- if you have questions, go ahead! But try to stay polite and open-minded. Also, before asking here, I suggest you read the first post of the [main LGBT thread]; there's a useful glossary there and some specific information that might answer your question. If your question has an element of support (like “I think I might be transgender, how do I know for sure?” or “my LGBT friend has problems with their parents, how could I help?”), it can also be posted over there.
- avoid misinformation. If you intentionally pull stuff out of your backside repeatedly, I will track you down, and force you to play in a game where the GMPCs are Drizz't and a Kender. (Theoretically unenforceable? You can never be 100% sure. Don't tempt your luck.)
- mind the forum rules and avoid the subjects of politics or religion (or sexually-explicit content for that matter). Otherwise, there is no subject that is preemptively banned, and we'd like it to stay this way; therefore, if a discussion upsets or angers you, report the offending posts (if a forum rule has actually been infringed) and/or step away from the computer until you calm down, instead of starting a flame war. This is the Internet. We're physically stuck behind your screen. The worst we can do is send stupid PMs until the inbox is full – and you don't even have to acknowledge their content before deleting them! We can't follow you and force you to keep arguing.
- no one here should be shunned here for unfortunately lacking some knowledge but desiring to learn. Nothing is self-evident, and that's even more true where gender and sexuality are concerned. (Now, if you request to be educated but act deliberately obtuse when replied to, you're gonna have a bad time. Don't be deliberately obtuse. Nobody likes morons.)


Last thing: knowledge is power. You step in as a kobold, and leave as a dragon - that's the general idea anyway.

I'll check back for feedback, but still avoid participating to other discussions here for the time being.

[Irish Musician]

I'll support the community in any way I can, Mus, so if you start it, I'll help in any way I can

Matthew

[Astrella]

This actually made me feel really good. I've been feeling down lately because I've been reaching out and reading trans literature and the like recently in the hopes finding someone to relate to in this. Oddly, I've felt MORE alone since I've been doing this, because I haven't been able to find someone who's narrative really syncs up with mine. The "feeling wrong since childhood and I'm born in the wrong body" thing, I feel, is a sort of general, or "Hollywood-ized" experience. This is not to disparage those for whom this experience is true, but I feel people tend to take this story and assume it's the case for everyone (even some trans people do this). Like this is the plot they would use to make a movie about a transgender person without even considering other possible experiences. Seeing someone else critical of this description made me feel not as alone ople who feel the same. I'm not presuming that you feel the same either, but this short phrase helped a lot.

A big contributor to it is also that up until recently and in a lot of places still medical professionals require it. Like, originally not being straight or having had sex or whatever wasn't required. You even had to pass to receive medical help with transitioning. So cause of all this a lot of trans women wised up and just, starting playing along the narrative to actually get help. It's something people did to actually survive and explains why the concept is so prevalent, because of how strong gatekeeping is and how much power it has over us.

[Philemonite]

Hi.
I'm thinking of starting a parallel LGBT+ thread, meant for education rather than support, and with a different tone. If I go through with the project and post it, anyone who would like to participate and answer questions, LGBT or ally, is very welcome.
I have a draft for the OP. Hopefully, I haven't made any glaring mistake.

Spoiler: Draft!

Show

Hello!
Welcome to the LGBT+ questions thread. This thread is meant to answer all sorts of questions one may have about the community, and have a casual atmosphere.
As such, this is an education thread, not a support thread (which you can conveniently find [there] instead). Why the split? Because the main thread is mostly populated by LGBT people who are seeking, well, support, and some questions or misunderstandings can be causes of additional stress. You can ask these questions here instead, and receive answers from LGBT people or allies. They can be as general or as narrow as you want.

A couple things you need to know before browsing the rest of this thread:
- if you are LGBT+ but do not wish to educate people, or are likely to be offended by the lack of knowledge of some people, you're probably better off not reading this thread.
- if you have questions, go ahead! But try to stay polite and open-minded. Also, before asking here, I suggest you read the first post of the [main LGBT thread]; there's a useful glossary there and some specific information that might answer your question. If your question has an element of support (like “I think I might be transgender, how do I know for sure?” or “my LGBT friend has problems with their parents, how could I help?”), it can also be posted over there.
- avoid misinformation. If you intentionally pull stuff out of your backside repeatedly, I will track you down, and force you to play in a game where the GMPCs are Drizz't and a Kender. (Theoretically unenforceable? You can never be 100% sure. Don't tempt your luck.)
- mind the forum rules and avoid the subjects of politics or religion (or sexually-explicit content for that matter). Otherwise, there is no subject that is preemptively banned, and we'd like it to stay this way; therefore, if a discussion upsets or angers you, report the offending posts (if a forum rule has actually been infringed) and/or step away from the computer until you calm down, instead of starting a flame war. This is the Internet. We're physically stuck behind your screen. The worst we can do is send stupid PMs until the inbox is full – and you don't even have to acknowledge their content before deleting them! We can't follow you and force you to keep arguing.
- no one here should be shunned here for unfortunately lacking some knowledge but desiring to learn. Nothing is self-evident, and that's even more true where gender and sexuality are concerned. (Now, if you request to be educated but act deliberately obtuse when replied to, you're gonna have a bad time. Don't be deliberately obtuse. Nobody likes morons.)


Last thing: knowledge is power. You step in as a kobold, and leave as a dragon - that's the general idea anyway.

I'll check back for feedback, but still avoid participating to other discussions here for the time being.

Sounds good to me. I noticed that G is not too present in this thread, so I will volunteer what little knowledge I have.

[Miriel]

That's good. :)

You are so awesome.

Nice article! And good luck with your name.

Yay!

And I love reading your articles. The stuff you talk about is very important and true, and really needs more attention.

Awesome!

Cool. I'll read it in a while.

Nice!

Thanks everyone

Why a pharmacist, though? Don't they only hand out the medications that Doctors tell them you can have?

What Lex-Kat said, I guess. But whatever they do is completely beyond my understand. They said I could also ask something from the sexologist who gave me my diagnosis, which is very strange. What would they want from her? Anyway.

A big contributor to it is also that up until recently and in a lot of places still medical professionals require it. Like, originally not being straight or having had sex or whatever wasn't required. You even had to pass to receive medical help with transitioning. So cause of all this a lot of trans women wised up and just, starting playing along the narrative to actually get help. It's something people did to actually survive and explains why the concept is so prevalent, because of how strong gatekeeping is and how much power it has over us.

And even not-exactly-normative trans people have it easy, when compared to genderqueer people requesting hormones. The sexologist I was, who was specifically trained for this stuff, said that if you weren't a man or a woman, you were confused/you had not decided yet.

This actually made me feel really good. I've been feeling down lately because I've been reaching out and reading trans literature and the like recently in the hopes finding someone to relate to in this. Oddly, I've felt MORE alone since I've been doing this, because I haven't been able to find someone who's narrative really syncs up with mine. The "feeling wrong since childhood and I'm born in the wrong body" thing, I feel, is a sort of general, or "Hollywood-ized" experience. This is not to disparage those for whom this experience is true, but I feel people tend to take this story and assume it's the case for everyone (even some trans people do this). Like this is the plot they would use to make a movie about a transgender person without even considering other possible experiences. Seeing someone else critical of this description made me feel not as alone

Me, I've come to feel that I am transexual, but not necessarily transgender in the assumed sense. I'm waffling between agender and gender fluid, but I definitely want a female body. I don't feel that my "spirit" is necessarily female all the time (or necessarily gendered) but I am still at odds with my body for some reason. I haven't really asked around here, but I've been unable to find people who feel the same. I'm not presuming that you feel the same either, but this short phrase helped a lot.

I'm glad it helped.

If you google "transnormativity", I'm sure you will find things that match better with your experience, or at least that don't fit the classic narrative. I don't fit it either. Although I see clues now, I never "knew" I was a woman. I have few memories from my childhood. Going to an all-male high school didn't help. Anyway, I still don't know what "being a woman" means. Yet I'm obviously a girl, I'm more girly than most cis girls.

[Asta Kask]

Well, I guess I meant more on how you see yourself.

Oh. A misunderstanding then.

Yeah, you have access to all information (well, ideally anyway) and therefore there's no need for a label.

[KerfuffleMach2]

And even not-exactly-normative trans people have it easy, when compared to genderqueer people requesting hormones. The sexologist I was, who was specifically trained for this stuff, said that if you weren't a man or a woman, you were confused/you had not decided yet.

Eh, I don't agree with your sexologist. Well, actually, I can see people having some confusion over it. But definitely not the decision part. Can't decide that sort of thing. I just see it more as maybe you just don't know. Lots of people don't really know who they are. Especially when they're younger.

I'm glad it helped.

If you google "transnormativity", I'm sure you will find things that match better with your experience, or at least that don't fit the classic narrative. I don't fit it either. Although I see clues now, I never "knew" I was a woman. I have few memories from my childhood. Going to an all-male high school didn't help. Anyway, I still don't know what "being a woman" means. Yet I'm obviously a girl, I'm more girly than most cis girls.

Like I said earlier, I don't think you should worry too much about you're label. "Being a woman" is mostly based on opinions, anyways.

[Astrella]

Eh, I don't agree with your sexologist. Well, actually, I can see people having some confusion over it. But definitely not the decision part. Can't decide that sort of thing. I just see it more as maybe you just don't know. Lots of people don't really know who they are. Especially when they're younger.

That's the thing though, non-binary people are still a group that's very badly recognized by specialist. The medical field is at least a decade and probably more behind on actual trans people in most cases.

[KerfuffleMach2]

That's the thing though, non-binary people are still a group that's very badly recognized by specialist. The medical field is at least a decade and probably more behind on actual trans people in most cases.

I think part of the reason for that is that humans seem to have a need to categorize stuff, and sexuality and identity can't easily be categorized.

And the need to categorize seems to increase in applications like medicine. Especially since a lot of things are specific to each gender. I mean, you can't have ovarian issues if you don't have ovaries, no matter what you feel you are.

So, in those areas, the need to be a specific category makes some sense, but from a biological standppint.

[Comrade]

Me, I've come to feel that I am transexual, but not necessarily transgender in the assumed sense. I'm waffling between agender and gender fluid, but I definitely want a female body. I don't feel that my "spirit" is necessarily female all the time (or necessarily gendered) but I am still at odds with my body for some reason. I haven't really asked around here, but I've been unable to find people who feel the same. I'm not presuming that you feel the same either, but this short phrase helped a lot.

As an agender person experiencing something similar to this, I can definitely sympathise with you here!

[SiuiS]

My opinion on that stuff is that you are who you are. Screw labels. Don't need them. You're just whoever you are.

That's much easier to say when you aren't constantly under psychic assault because of it. A label is a shield. It's a way to say 'this is real, it has a name, I am not alone'. Names have power. And every now and then...

Like I said earlier, I don't think you should worry too much about you're label. "Being a woman" is mostly based on opinions, anyways.

Every now and then, we all need a little validation. No human is an island. You require human connection. Your body will sicken and either without caring touch. Your mind will lock into a downward spiral without considerate attention.

Being a woman is based on deeper things than opinion. Even if the label "woman" did not exist, the difference in the person still would. They would just lack an easy word to use to tell others. We name things to know them, but it's as much discovery as invention. Much like math, the words and terms may be invented English (or other language), but the concept exists despite humanity, not because of it.

Who and what we are is not because of our labels, but it is made easier by them.

Hi.
I'm thinking of starting a parallel LGBT+ thread, meant for education rather than support, and with a different tone. If I go through with the project and post it, anyone who would like to participate and answer questions, LGBT or ally, is very welcome.
I have a draft for the OP. Hopefully, I haven't made any glaring mistake.

Spoiler: Draft!

Show

Hello!
Welcome to the LGBT+ questions thread. This thread is meant to answer all sorts of questions one may have about the community, and have a casual atmosphere.
As such, this is an education thread, not a support thread (which you can conveniently find [there] instead). Why the split? Because the main thread is mostly populated by LGBT people who are seeking, well, support, and some questions or misunderstandings can be causes of additional stress. You can ask these questions here instead, and receive answers from LGBT people or allies. They can be as general or as narrow as you want.

A couple things you need to know before browsing the rest of this thread:
- if you are LGBT+ but do not wish to educate people, or are likely to be offended by the lack of knowledge of some people, you're probably better off not reading this thread.
- if you have questions, go ahead! But try to stay polite and open-minded. Also, before asking here, I suggest you read the first post of the [main LGBT thread]; there's a useful glossary there and some specific information that might answer your question. If your question has an element of support (like “I think I might be transgender, how do I know for sure?” or “my LGBT friend has problems with their parents, how could I help?”), it can also be posted over there.
- avoid misinformation. If you intentionally pull stuff out of your backside repeatedly, I will track you down, and force you to play in a game where the GMPCs are Drizz't and a Kender. (Theoretically unenforceable? You can never be 100% sure. Don't tempt your luck.)
- mind the forum rules and avoid the subjects of politics or religion (or sexually-explicit content for that matter). Otherwise, there is no subject that is preemptively banned, and we'd like it to stay this way; therefore, if a discussion upsets or angers you, report the offending posts (if a forum rule has actually been infringed) and/or step away from the computer until you calm down, instead of starting a flame war. This is the Internet. We're physically stuck behind your screen. The worst we can do is send stupid PMs until the inbox is full – and you don't even have to acknowledge their content before deleting them! We can't follow you and force you to keep arguing.
- no one here should be shunned here for unfortunately lacking some knowledge but desiring to learn. Nothing is self-evident, and that's even more true where gender and sexuality are concerned. (Now, if you request to be educated but act deliberately obtuse when replied to, you're gonna have a bad time. Don't be deliberately obtuse. Nobody likes morons.)


Last thing: knowledge is power. You step in as a kobold, and leave as a dragon - that's the general idea anyway.

I'll check back for feedback, but still avoid participating to other discussions here for the time being.

Rock on!

[Astrella]

@Axinian, Comrade; I don't specifically feel female, most of my need to transition was very body driven. It just happens that I'm comfortable enough with the label woman to not really reject it, and I find that I feel affected by misogyny and such and am often targeted by it, so it's also the label that matches my experiences the most. And I identify strongly with other women, especially trans women.

And the label also gives me a sense of identity and stability, so it's helpful like that too.

I think part of the reason for that is that humans seem to have a need to categorize stuff, and sexuality and identity can't easily be categorized.

And the need to categorize seems to increase in applications like medicine. Especially since a lot of things are specific to each gender. I mean, you can't have ovarian issues if you don't have ovaries, no matter what you feel you are.

So, in those areas, the need to be a specific category makes some sense, but from a biological standppint.

The thing is though that the way we often approach sex and gender biologically is inaccurate too, like, tons of factors influence how vulnerable you are to certain conditions. Treating me as male on a medical level for example is inaccurate, cause my hormone levels for example influence certain gendered conditions I'm vulnerable too. I also have breasts so I need breast exams, etc... In a medical case you need to know the specific details anyway so overly simplifying is counterproductive.

[Kesnit]

Btw, bit of stupid guestion, but since trans women get anti-androgens do trans men get anything similar? like anti-estrogen?

No. However, it's a lot easier for us to get our primary sex-hormone-producing organs ripped out. (There are a lot of reasons cis-women would want their ovaries removed. For example, my wife has cysts growing on hers that make periods extremely painful and screw up her hormones.) I got all my parts removed about 9 months after starting t.

That sounds like an awful bureaucracy. Why not just allow people to get the equivalent of a month's supply, but in bigger vials?

5mL is the more normal monthly dose. For reasons I've never figured out, a "normal" dose of t sends my free testosterone levels into dangerous levels. I found that out while seeing a doctor in Florida while I was in law school. She dropped me to half the normal dose, and my free t levels went to "normal." When I moved back here after school and got a new doctor, I think he thought my old one was a quack when I told him what dose I was on. (His words were "I have biological men on higher doses than that!") Until, of course, he did bloodwork and found my old doctor was right.

Since I take a half-dose, when my doctor wrote the prescription for a 1-month supply, he wrote it for 2 mL. Since that's a weird amount, the pharmacist didn't have that amount on-hand. (I was told they could order it.) However, since I was getting a more-than-one-month supply, my insurance wouldn't cover the larger amount. (If 5 mL was a monthly amount for me, I think they would have covered it.)

Confused yet?

Also don't see why they don't want to provide gel.

Cost. The injectable is generic. The gel is brand-name only. So while the gel is $100 for a 2.5 month dose (at my dosage level), the gel is $300 for 2 months.

There is a third alternative, but that one I know I can't use. It's an adhesive patch that you put on your upper arm for 24-hours, then change. The adhesive breaks me out in a rash.

I should be getting my name

YEAH!!!

Now you get to have the fun of changing all your credit cards, school records, bank accounts, etc...

Hi.
I'm thinking of starting a parallel LGBT+ thread, meant for education rather than support, and with a different tone. If I go through with the project and post it, anyone who would like to participate and answer questions, LGBT or ally, is very welcome.

Sounds like a great idea.

I have a draft for the OP. Hopefully, I haven't made any glaring mistake.

Spoiler: Draft!

Show

Hello!
Welcome to the LGBT+ questions thread. This thread is meant to answer all sorts of questions one may have about the community, and have a casual atmosphere.
As such, this is an education thread, not a support thread (which you can conveniently find [there] instead). Why the split? Because the main thread is mostly populated by LGBT people who are seeking, well, support, and some questions or misunderstandings can be causes of additional stress. You can ask these questions here instead, and receive answers from LGBT people or allies. They can be as general or as narrow as you want.

A couple things you need to know before browsing the rest of this thread:
- if you are LGBT+ but do not wish to educate people, or are likely to be offended by the lack of knowledge of some people, you're probably better off not reading this thread.

A very good point.

Spoiler

Show

- avoid misinformation. If you intentionally pull stuff out of your backside repeatedly, I will track you down, and force you to play in a game where the GMPCs are Drizz't and a Kender. (Theoretically unenforceable? You can never be 100% sure. Don't tempt your luck.)

*chuckle*

My comments are in bold

[KerfuffleMach2]

That's much easier to say when you aren't constantly under psychic assault because of it. A label is a shield. It's a way to say 'this is real, it has a name, I am not alone'. Names have power. And every now and then...

Every now and then, we all need a little validation. No human is an island. You require human connection. Your body will sicken and either without caring touch. Your mind will lock into a downward spiral without considerate attention.

Being a woman is based on deeper things than opinion. Even if the label "woman" did not exist, the difference in the person still would. They would just lack an easy word to use to tell others. We name things to know them, but it's as much discovery as invention. Much like math, the words and terms may be invented English (or other language), but the concept exists despite humanity, not because of it.

Who and what we are is not because of our labels, but it is made easier by them.

That is all true. I guess I'm just trying to say that as long as you like who and what you are, you shouldn't care too much about what others think. Especially people you don't really know. And people you are close to shouldn't really care about the labels either.

Of course, that is all my own opinion, and if you do feel better with the labels and stuff, then have at it.

The thing is though that the way we often approach sex and gender biologically is inaccurate too, like, tons of factors influence how vulnerable you are to certain conditions. Treating me as male on a medical level for example is inaccurate, cause my hormone levels for example influence certain gendered conditions I'm vulnerable too. I also have breasts so I need breast exams, etc... In a medical case you need to know the specific details anyway so overly simplifying is counterproductive.

That...is a good point.

Eh, I guess the best thing would be to just go by what the patient's body is like in each specific case.

[SiuiS]

That is all true. I guess I'm just trying to say that as long as you like who and what you are, you shouldn't care too much about what others think. Especially people you don't really know. And people you are close to shouldn't really care about the labels either.

Of course, that is all my own opinion, and if you do feel better with the labels and stuff, then have at it.

Oh, I agree. But a case for the importance of names needs must be made on occasion. I like making sure the complete details are present.

[Miriel]

YEAH!!!

Now you get to have the fun of changing all your credit cards, school records, bank accounts, etc...

Haha, don't worry, I still have a few months of pure bureaucracy before it's in effect ^^

[Grytorm]

I've realized that probably my thought related to my gender identity are not particularly well founded. I am fairly certain that they mostly emerged from a weird desire to fit in here because this thread is very supportive and nice. I broke down crying on the bus from this realization because I am much more alone again. I might be wrong about my conclusions though, I don't really know.

[Miriel]

I've realized that probably my thought related to my gender identity are not particularly well founded. I am fairly certain that they mostly emerged from a weird desire to fit in here because this thread is very supportive and nice. I broke down crying on the bus from this realization because I am much more alone again. I might be wrong about my conclusions though, I don't really know.

That's okay. Everyone is welcome here. You seem to need support, gender or no. So yeah. You don't have to try to fit in. "Be yourself" is our motto.

[Arachu]

Today's my birthday

Happy birthday~

I should be getting my name After much fighting, it was agreed that I would only need a letter from my pharmacist.

That's great!

This actually made me feel really good. I've been feeling down lately because I've been reaching out and reading trans literature and the like recently in the hopes finding someone to relate to in this. Oddly, I've felt MORE alone since I've been doing this, because I haven't been able to find someone who's narrative really syncs up with mine. The "feeling wrong since childhood and I'm born in the wrong body" thing, I feel, is a sort of general, or "Hollywood-ized" experience. This is not to disparage those for whom this experience is true, but I feel people tend to take this story and assume it's the case for everyone (even some trans people do this). Like this is the plot they would use to make a movie about a transgender person without even considering other possible experiences. Seeing someone else critical of this description made me feel not as alone

Yeah, there's people whose experiences fit that narrative but it's applied way too broadly. Like, I remember never not feeling at least vaguely dysphoric (even in my really early memories) so I'm pretty sure that if I wasn't born trans*, it didn't take me long to grow into it. But I also didn't know that I was a girl until I was like 20 because I was never able to figure out exactly why I felt so weird (I did notice that I wasn't a guy during puberty, but I couldn't make it much further than that because of other stuff). So, according to that old scale thing I both am and am not really transsexual. And that's without factoring other stuff like my pansexuality.

Also, what Lena said.

Hi.
I'm thinking of starting a parallel LGBT+ thread, meant for education rather than support, and with a different tone. If I go through with the project and post it, anyone who would like to participate and answer questions, LGBT or ally, is very welcome.
I have a draft for the OP. Hopefully, I haven't made any glaring mistake.

Spoiler: Draft!

Show

Hello!
Welcome to the LGBT+ questions thread. This thread is meant to answer all sorts of questions one may have about the community, and have a casual atmosphere.
As such, this is an education thread, not a support thread (which you can conveniently find [there] instead). Why the split? Because the main thread is mostly populated by LGBT people who are seeking, well, support, and some questions or misunderstandings can be causes of additional stress. You can ask these questions here instead, and receive answers from LGBT people or allies. They can be as general or as narrow as you want.

A couple things you need to know before browsing the rest of this thread:
- if you are LGBT+ but do not wish to educate people, or are likely to be offended by the lack of knowledge of some people, you're probably better off not reading this thread.
- if you have questions, go ahead! But try to stay polite and open-minded. Also, before asking here, I suggest you read the first post of the [main LGBT thread]; there's a useful glossary there and some specific information that might answer your question. If your question has an element of support (like “I think I might be transgender, how do I know for sure?” or “my LGBT friend has problems with their parents, how could I help?”), it can also be posted over there.
- avoid misinformation. If you intentionally pull stuff out of your backside repeatedly, I will track you down, and force you to play in a game where the GMPCs are Drizz't and a Kender. (Theoretically unenforceable? You can never be 100% sure. Don't tempt your luck.)
- mind the forum rules and avoid the subjects of politics or religion (or sexually-explicit content for that matter). Otherwise, there is no subject that is preemptively banned, and we'd like it to stay this way; therefore, if a discussion upsets or angers you, report the offending posts (if a forum rule has actually been infringed) and/or step away from the computer until you calm down, instead of starting a flame war. This is the Internet. We're physically stuck behind your screen. The worst we can do is send stupid PMs until the inbox is full – and you don't even have to acknowledge their content before deleting them! We can't follow you and force you to keep arguing.
- no one here should be shunned here for unfortunately lacking some knowledge but desiring to learn. Nothing is self-evident, and that's even more true where gender and sexuality are concerned. (Now, if you request to be educated but act deliberately obtuse when replied to, you're gonna have a bad time. Don't be deliberately obtuse. Nobody likes morons.)


Last thing: knowledge is power. You step in as a kobold, and leave as a dragon - that's the general idea anyway.

I'll check back for feedback, but still avoid participating to other discussions here for the time being.

I'll help answer questions and stuff~

That's okay. Everyone is welcome here. You seem to need support, gender or no. So yeah. You don't have to try to fit in. "Be yourself" is our motto.

This. ^_^


~Bianca

[Grytorm]

That's okay. Everyone is welcome here. You seem to need support, gender or no. So yeah. You don't have to try to fit in. "Be yourself" is our motto.

Yeah that's nice to know. But it would feel weird to look for support for something not related to the thread. Especially because most of what I go through seems so vaguely defined. But this thread is great.

I can see what I why I might unconsciously try to fit in. Because one of my main problems right now is loneliness combined with difficulty in describing my problems as fixable things if I can focus on a problem that might not exist it becomes something I can use to deal with depression. It becomes a source of success which is untouched by vague feelings that I am a failure because ultimately the topic matters the most to myself. I can't fail somebody else.

The annoying thing is that I go between thinking that I only am questioning my gender identity to deal with loneliness and thinking I might actually have a legitimate uncertainty in my gender identity. Right now I am wearing lipstick again and I spent 10 minutes looking at a mirror smiling at it just to see what I looked like in lipstick. I think my smile looks nicer in it. (Also, I practiced saying, "Hi, my names August"). So if anything is really happening that is what is happening.

[Lex-Kat]

*Hugs* I believe depression is something a lot of us deal with here. A few of us even feel very much alone in this great big world. This thread on this site helps us feel closer to someone. No, to a lot of people. Good, loving, not always agreeing, but still comforting people.

I believe I can safely say that you are welcome here. You seem to still be questioning. My advice is to not think too hard on it. Let it come to you.