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2014-06-17, 03:56 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Jan 2007
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Re: LGBTAI+ Questions, Information and Discussion thread!
...okay, how many people around here have a crush on me? Is this a thing now, and I'm just too oblivious to notice?
Also, note, I did say currently :P
I fully anticipate my sexuality and romanticality changing and evolving once I actually start transition.
Unfortunately for you, I consider a separation of several thousand miles a dealbreaker :PLast edited by Heliomance; 2014-06-17 at 04:02 PM.
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Wish building characters for D&D 3.5 was simpler? Try HeroForge Anew! An Excel-based, highly automated character builder. v7.4 now out!
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2014-06-17, 04:00 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Mar 2013
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Re: LGBTAI+ Questions, Information and Discussion thread!
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2014-06-17, 04:02 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Oct 2008
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- Bottom of a well
Re: LGBTAI+ Questions, Information and Discussion thread!
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2014-06-17, 04:06 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Apr 2011
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- Keystone of the USA
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Re: LGBTAI+ Questions, Information and Discussion thread!
Hah, I think that GSM advocates are easier to get along with. The feminists at my school are very... well they haven't left their gated communities in a while I think.
That's a tactical concern. It's why I tackle trans* issues at my college with a specifically trans* group, not within the LGBT+ society.
As you can see there are plenty of asexuals speaking up here on the forum. And another since I finally got a link to this thread (Thanks for the link again).
On my campus I know of 4 other people who ID as asexual, but I am the only one who is out. Mostly because my boyfriend of the time outed me to a friend after the break-up and that friend didn't keep their mouth shut. Fun times.
For me it is important because freshman year my roommate (I wasn't out yet) made comments about how asexuals are freaks of nature because of the four F's of biology (we are both science majors). The four F's are fighting, fleeing, feeding, and uh...reproduction.
Then I had friends talking about my relationships as "boyfriends" since to them it wasn't a legitimate relationship if I wasn't sexually attracted.
Let me make something clear, I am a romantic asexual. I feel my romantic orientation is private. But while I feel no desire to have sex with anyone I date, after a while, say a year or year and a half of dating I would be willing too. It would still feel good, I know it does. And I need a relationship with good communication, each of us saying what we are okay with at that moment in time. Consent basically. Important in all relationships.
Asexuals can pass as heterosexual, I know that I do. This keeps me safe in my area which is filled with religious people who aren't the friendliest toward non-heterosexuals. But we are not heterosexual, we don't feel sexual attraction toward guys. The idea is foreign to me. For me I can find someone pleasing to look at, but I don't feel a need to have sex. My libido, which I do have isn't directed toward anyone or anything. It is more something I occasionally have to get rid of, as people have said "scratch an itch". I know I will have sex one day and I am not afraid or disgusted, just neutral toward it.Moved my stuff over to HERE!
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2014-06-17, 05:01 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2008
- Gender
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2014-06-17, 05:34 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Jan 2007
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Re: LGBTAI+ Questions, Information and Discussion thread!
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Avatar by Rain Dragon
Wish building characters for D&D 3.5 was simpler? Try HeroForge Anew! An Excel-based, highly automated character builder. v7.4 now out!
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2014-06-17, 05:39 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Apr 2008
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- USA
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Re: LGBTAI+ Questions, Information and Discussion thread!
ze/zir | she/her
Omnia Vincit Amor
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2014-06-17, 05:44 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2011
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2014-06-17, 06:09 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Apr 2011
- Location
- Someplace Nice
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2014-06-17, 06:24 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Oct 2008
- Location
- Xin-Shalast
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Re: LGBTAI+ Questions, Information and Discussion thread!
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2014-06-17, 06:40 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Mar 2011
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Re: LGBTAI+ Questions, Information and Discussion thread!
Heterosexual: Capable of experiencing sexual attraction to people of the opposite sex.
Asexual: Incapable of experiencing sexual attraction. By definition, mutually exclusive to heterosexuality.
Heteroromantic: Capable of experiencing romantic attraction to people of the opposite sex. Note that romantic attraction is distinct from sexual attraction.
There's a distinction between libido and sexual attraction. Some people are attracted to other people but only feel like having sex once a month (allosexual, low libido). Some people are attracted to other people and want to have sex every day (allosexual, high libido). Some people are attracted to other people but don't actually want to have sex with them (no libido, probably grey-ace). Some people aren't attracted to other people at all but still desire sexual release, usually by masturbation (asexual, some libido). Some people aren't attracted to other people at all and never desire sexual release (asexual, no libido). Some people are very rarely attracted to other people and only want to have sex with long-term romantic partners (demisexual, situational libido).Jude P.
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2014-06-17, 06:53 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Mar 2008
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2014-06-17, 07:42 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Oct 2008
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- Xin-Shalast
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Re: LGBTAI+ Questions, Information and Discussion thread!
How do you react when you run into an English Native-Speaker who seriously wants to be called "it?" as their pronoun of choice in order to reclaim it?
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2014-06-17, 07:52 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Mar 2011
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2014-06-17, 08:04 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2008
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- USA
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Re: LGBTAI+ Questions, Information and Discussion thread!
Personally? I'd be incredibly weirded out. "It" is for objects, not sapients, and there's not even a precedent the way there arguably is in German ("das Maedchen", "the girl", is neuter because of the "-chen" ending). Even trying to reclaim it is odd, since it's never been used for people except to dehumanize them.
ze/zir | she/her
Omnia Vincit Amor
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2014-06-17, 08:05 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2006
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- Eastern US
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Re: LGBTAI+ Questions, Information and Discussion thread!
But "they" is technically plural, and can be used to denote a person with unintigrated dissociative personality disorder (formerly multiple personality disorder). (I know someone who preferred "they" if I was discussing their unit as a whole. When discussing individual personalities, I could use the pronoun appropriate for that personality.)
Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
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2014-06-17, 08:07 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Apr 2008
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- USA
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Re: LGBTAI+ Questions, Information and Discussion thread!
ze/zir | she/her
Omnia Vincit Amor
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2014-06-17, 08:08 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Jul 2011
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2014-06-17, 08:09 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Mar 2011
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Re: LGBTAI+ Questions, Information and Discussion thread!
"They" has been plural or singular (depending on context) for hundreds of years. Maybe if a hugely influential author started using "it" as a gender-neutral personal pronoun it would catch on in a few hundred more years, but if it's used only in extremely niche cases it will never catch on.
Jude P.
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2014-06-17, 08:26 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Jul 2011
Re: LGBTAI+ Questions, Information and Discussion thread!
Tangent: Chaucer also used "axe" to mean ask, and I read somewhere that when African American Vernacular English split off from Standard American English a few hundred years ago (it's more complicated than that, I know) both words were still commonly used; axe became archaic and eventually forgotten in SAE, while becoming more ubiquitous in AAVE, but it was never a mispronunciation.
... I came to appreciate that mountains make poor receptacles for dreams.
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2014-06-17, 08:42 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Dec 2008
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- Yes, that is true
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Re: LGBTAI+ Questions, Information and Discussion thread!
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2014-06-17, 08:56 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Apr 2008
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- USA
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Re: LGBTAI+ Questions, Information and Discussion thread!
Interesting.
Also worth noting is that Jane Austen, Shakespeare, and other "classic" authors used the singular they (Wikipedia link) as well. Chaucer is just notable because his is possibly the earliest and the only one that stuck out in my mind from high school/college readings.
It's possible to respect someone's identity without using their preferred words, though. If my black friends asked me to call them the n-word, I can't imagine bringing myself to do it. I'd feel similarly if somebody asked me to use "it" as their pronoun.Last edited by Siosilvar; 2014-06-17 at 09:17 PM.
ze/zir | she/her
Omnia Vincit Amor
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2014-06-17, 09:34 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Dec 2008
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- Yes, that is true
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Re: LGBTAI+ Questions, Information and Discussion thread!
I can respect that. I'm not sure if a set of pronouns that's occasionally used as an insult is the same as a word that's been used as a racial slur for ages, though.
(*Doesn't mean to sound judge-y - tends to get a bit worked-up about pronouns in general, and also gets a bit defensive about that one after (unsuccessfully) trying to get people to call her it in her early teens (identified as agender at the time)*)
~Bianca
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2014-06-17, 09:34 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2011
Re: LGBTAI+ Questions, Information and Discussion thread!
... I came to appreciate that mountains make poor receptacles for dreams.
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2014-06-17, 09:53 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Apr 2008
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- USA
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Re: LGBTAI+ Questions, Information and Discussion thread!
Mmm, the thing about that is that "it" not only carries connotations of inanimate objects but when it's used for people has almost exclusively been a slur for trans people, cross-dressers, and drag performers. I can see why it might hold some appeal to people, but there's a difference between reclaiming a slur and making other people reclaim it for you, though I'm not sure how you'd reclaim a pronoun that way except for always speaking in third person.
And you don't sound judge-y at all. If anything the guy who refuses to use a simple two-letter word to refer to people is the judgmental oneze/zir | she/her
Omnia Vincit Amor
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2014-06-17, 10:05 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
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- Somewhere south of Hell
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Re: LGBTAI+ Questions, Information and Discussion thread!
Yup.
Because being willig to have sex does not make you sexual. It makes you compliant.
They can have sex, yes. They can also have complete relationships with their preferred partner without any sex ever (hence, Hetero/homo/bi romantic).
heterosexual already means heteroromantic as well.
Yeah. When a not gets in they hit the post limit quick.
This is one example out of many. The asexual partner may not enjoy sex at all. You're making assumptions and ignoring the rest of the sample group.
Ah. The joys of Kal.
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2014-06-17, 10:45 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2013
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- Satanic Sovereignty
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Re: LGBTAI+ Questions, Information and Discussion thread!
At least he isn't in the other thread anymore.
Shame this one got off to a bad start, though.
Anyway, while people are being added to the OP, I could probably answer a few questions about trans stuff and nonbinary stuff. Nothing in a super official sense (just speaking from personal experience) and I'm pretty blunt at times, but if nobody else is available at the time I could give it a shot.vape naesh
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2014-06-17, 11:09 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Dec 2006
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- In the shadows
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2014-06-18, 12:17 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Feb 2012
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Re: LGBTAI+ Questions, Information and Discussion thread!
Ash nazg durbatulūk, ash nazg gimbatul, ash nazg thrakatulūk agh burzum-ishi krimpatul.
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2014-06-18, 12:29 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2011
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- Keystone of the USA
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Re: LGBTAI+ Questions, Information and Discussion thread!
My main issue is a class one. I am from a small town whereas much of my college is from rich areas. They still haven't learned how to put action behind words and are too focused on making everyone comfortable. I was raised to speak the truth as I see it and not sugar-coat things. So personalities clash type of thing.
Moved my stuff over to HERE!