Random Plots and Places 9: What a crazy, random happenstance!

[Beans]

[Der Arschersetzer]

Today is a fairly regular day in the Buneplane. There are varying degrees of bune and bune-related thing, from default bune to huge bune to bune people and all the things that respectively eat, eat, and harrass them.

The weather is nice, because it generally is here, and the bunes are generally buneing about in the general vicinity of Pat's cottage. Acanthe is just sort of napping under a table... 'cause... she's Acanthe, and doing weird things is very much her norm. If a day could ever be called normal for Pat, it'd be this one.

Accordingly, the relative peace of the flattish field by Pat's abode is jostled by the emergence of a robot wearing sunglasses.

The thing is tall and humanoid, its face featureless but for vertical vent-like slits where its mouth would be, its body a patchwork of dullish metals rubbed shiny in patches. It wouldn't look out of place in an industrial setting, with its big rubberized feet and robust gripping hands. But if the peace was unbalanced by this robot arriving, that tranquility is invariably rekt by the subsequent advent of an entire factory complex, the immediate displacement of air causing an outward, uneven tumble of wind and a thunderous crack.

Ah, crap.

[Deathkeeper]

[Der Arschersetzer]

Pat had been having a nice week.
Acanthe and she had managed to get a few basic outfits while she was possessing that rabbit, and later she'd gone back and gotten herself fully stocked for clothes. She suspected that the genie's wish-granting had messed with her head, because she had felt so much more confident about her body recently, and felt better about calling herself a girl than she ever would have believed. Maybe it was just natural after realizing that under conventional tastes she was reasonably attractive to people now. She doesn't know. She does also know that she never felt weirded out about guys hitting on her. She thought she was still into girls, but maybe that was just her head. Or maybe she'll just pick later and enjoy both now. Whatever, in the end. Her weird gender-situation wasn't demanding it be solved now. She'd gotten herself a waitressing job easily and was making decent money, and getting a means to go between the Cabinetopia and Inside hadn't been hard or even costly. It'd been nice.

And then a fracking factory exploded into existence next to her house. Pat jumps and flings open the door, with a near-screaming,
"What the hell?"
It might be addressed to the robot man if he's still in view after his little trick.

[Beans]

[Der Arschersetzer]

Acanthe wakes, slithering after Pat with a confused noise.

Out of the frontmost building comes a person whose lower body has been replaced with tank treads, and another. The robot guy stands upon the riding platform of the former, the latter bearing a stack of speakers with a microphone, the latter of which the robot takes in one hand---his more humanoid hand, actually, since his right arm ends in a clamp-like appendage. The foremost building sprouts a Jumbotron screen on which his image appears, huge and a little off-color.

"ATTENTION ENTIRE UNIVERSE. YOU HAVE A PROBLEM." His voice is vaguely annoying and really, really loud, as well as a bit tinny through the speakers. "YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM IS, BUT I AM GOING TO TELL YOU."

Acanthe raises a hand as if to propose an answer, but the robot (despite the considerable distance between himself and the cottage) points at her immediately. "NO. SHUT UP. WHATEVER YOU WERE GOING TO SAY IS WRONG." He pauses for a second. "IT'S YOU. YOU'RE ALL MESSED UP AND SO ARE YOUR BUTTS. I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW HALF OF YOU SIT ON THINGS, LIKE WHAT THE HELL." He angrily opens and closes his clamp-hand. Snip snip.

Acanthe looks up at Pat, not sure what to do and considering her saner friend's judgement. Mostly because she thinks biting that guy wouldn't work.

[Deathkeeper]

[Der Arschersetzer]

Pat looks up at the sight before her.
Her eye twitches. Not just a little, very much visibly.
"Acanthe, grab the Emergency Bag. I'm not dealing with this crap today." she says flatly.
If she does (it's under the bed, not hard to find) she and Acanthe will most likely make a break for town and the portal to Inside. Good thing she has a buff runner's build!

[Beans]

[Der Arschersetzer]

Pat looks up at the sight before her.
Her eye twitches. Not just a little, very much visibly.
"Acanthe, grab the Emergency Bag. I'm not dealing with this crap today." she says flatly.
If she does (it's under the bed, not hard to find) she and Acanthe will most likely make a break for town and the portal to Inside. Good thing she has a buff runner's build!

Acanthe grabs the bag quickly, and they're soon off! She's not especially great at slithering quickly over the ground, but manages to keep up with Pat.

Meanwhile, the robot jerk makes no move to actually chase them, but shouts after them.
"YOU CAN SORT OF RUN DESPITE YOUR WEIRD BUTTS. BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM THE PROBLEMS OF YOUR OWN POSTERIORS."

The other locals are making a point of getting away from the factory and its shouty robot proprietor, though few as hastily as our heroine and her chompy friend.

[Deathkeeper]

Plane of Bunnies

What.
Just, so much what. What stupid Nexus idiocy spawned this kind of obsessed robot?
Our bodies are shaped the same, jerkwad!" she shouts at the clearly stupid humanoid robot.
And otherwise she keeps running away from this stupidity, not breaking any time soon.

[Beans]

Plane of Bunnies

What.
Just, so much what. What stupid Nexus idiocy spawned this kind of obsessed robot?
Our bodies are shaped the same, jerkwad!" she shouts at the clearly stupid humanoid robot.
And otherwise she keeps running away from this stupidity, not breaking any time soon.

He just keeps yelling and yelling as they run away.

Before long, they'll arrive in what could reasonably called "town", where quite a few people are leaving through the various cabinet-portals to the other realms.

[Deathkeeper]

Plane of Bunnies

Pat just sighs and guides Acanthe over to the one that will take them to Inside. Or if that one's full, one of the other sub-realms will do for a while.

[Beans]

Plane of Bunnies

Pat just sighs and guides Acanthe over to the one that will take them to Inside. Or if that one's full, one of the other sub-realms will do for a while.

[Concrete Abstraction]

They arrive inside one of the building-block-floaty-dealios. Acanthe sighs. "Well, that was annoying... I hope that place doesn't last long."

[Deathkeeper]

Concrete Abstraction

Bleh. This place isn't as nice when you don't absorb sunlight. Ah, well.
Pat shrugs. "Nexus insanity always blows over. Let's find somewhere to sit for a while." she says, going to find some public area. That is, assuming the portal to Inside from here is still too busy to use.

[Beans]

Concrete Abstraction

Bleh. This place isn't as nice when you don't absorb sunlight. Ah, well.
Pat shrugs. "Nexus insanity always blows over. Let's find somewhere to sit for a while." she says, going to find some public area. That is, assuming the portal to Inside from here is still too busy to use.

It is; as such, they head outside to a nice plaza area with a fountain Acanthe can hang out in.

Acanthe looks around, enjoying the sun... except, um...

"... What's that?" She points to one of the bigger-but-further island blocks, which seems to have a new building on it...

[Deathkeeper]

Concrete Abstraction

"I'm sure I either don't care about it or it's bad." Pat responds, trying to force herself to just keep laying down with her eyes closed, "peacefully."

[Beans]

Concrete Abstraction

"I'm sure I either don't care about it or it's bad." Pat responds, trying to force herself to just keep laying down with her eyes closed, "peacefully."

Right on cue, a screen rises up from the new structure, and a familiar rant starts to play on it. A rant about butts.

Acanthe wiggles anxiously. "... Um... this is really, really bad."

[Deathkeeper]

Concrete Abstraction

Pat groans. Loudly.
"Well, pack up, Acanthe. We're not stopping 'till we get out of the Cabinet at this rate." she says, storming back to the portal-nexus.

[Beans]

Concrete Abstraction

Pat groans. Loudly.
"Well, pack up, Acanthe. We're not stopping 'till we get out of the Cabinet at this rate." she says, storming back to the portal-nexus.

Acanthe goes back to her apartment; meanwhile, it seems the portal to Inside is out of order!

When Acanthe returns with a backpack, she looks worried. "The Pipeways had one of them too..."

[Deathkeeper]

Concrete Abstraction

Pat looks like she's about to scream, but seems to bottle it up for the moment.
"Well, looks like we're screwed, then. Bastards." she says, and begins storming back out to the front where the incoming invasion force is.
Uh-oh.

[5a Violista]

Mirror, Mirror

Darsy did notice the shrinking size of her opponent. She figured that she was destroying it. Boy, was she wrong.

With her attention on the shadow in front of her, she fails to notice the one growing behind her.

Her instincts yell at her, and Darsy responds by tilting her head and body to her left as she brings her right knee up to the front shadow's torso. That causes the punch to graze the side of her flaming head, reducing it's effect.

Still hurts, though.

Darsy lets out a short burst of curses as she feels the effects of the hit. She's strong enough to shake it off after a moment, though.

What happens during that moment, though, remains to be seen.

[Mirror, Mirror]
Darsy

As Darsy knees the front shadowman, it stumbles, lets go of her arm, and pauses for a moment, as if it were winded.

Both shadowmen take advantage of Darsy's moment of weakness in the same way a robot might take advantage of it. Or, in other words, they don't even notice it and only attack as normal.

In this case, 'normal' means a one-two punch to the stomach or the back. The one in back first, the one in front slower by a half-second.

In martial arts, a half second can mean a lot. If Darsy takes a half-second too long to recover, it could be bad for her. If she recovers just a half-second early, then that's great.


Card

Card opens the first door on the left in the west section of the hallway, on the second floor. (*needs to look it up on a map*)

Card finds himself in a Study. There's a couple of bookcases along the wall. There's some full-body mirrors, too. However, each of the mirrors are covered by a white cloth sheet so that the reflective surface can't be seen. There's a large desk with a very comfortable chair behind it. On the desk are several papers, some of which are half written - as evidenced by how the ink quill is lying on one of the papers, halfway down the page, with ink spattered across the page. I'm sure something very interesting is written on them.

There's also a clock. It is stopped at 3:28 am.

Also, there's a large window across the back of that large room. The window is open, allowing a view into the courtyard of the enormous mansion.

There is also a secret trapdoor that has stairs beneath it. The perceptive may notice the rug curled up in just the right spot, or maybe the changing way footsteps echo throughout the floor, or the slight breeze that comes from the window to that part of the floor when the door to the hallway is closed, revealing the trapdoor.

[ThePhantom]

Mirror mirror - Card

Card enters the room, glancing at the covered mirrors. That's a good sign, and the papers on the desk look promising. He carefully goes over to the desk and starts reading the papers, checking out the finer details around the room can wait for hopeful information on what is up with the mirrors here.

[Beans]

Concrete Abstraction

Pat looks like she's about to scream, but seems to bottle it up for the moment.
"Well, looks like we're screwed, then. Bastards." she says, and begins storming back out to the front where the incoming invasion force is.
Uh-oh.

Acanthe slithers after her in worry. "... What are we gonna do now, then? Are you gonna, like... go... there?"

[Deathkeeper]

Concrete Abstraction

"Not completely, I'm just going to give that shmuck a piece of my mind." Pat says, hard face not breaking for now.

[Beans]

Concrete Abstraction

"Not completely, I'm just going to give that shmuck a piece of my mind." Pat says, hard face not breaking for now.

Acanthe follows her as they journey toward the factory building. "Well... I'd better come and make sure you're alright..." She is nothing if not worried about this.

[Deathkeeper]

Concrete Abstraction

Pat just grunts in acknowledgement and continues her stride forward.
Yeah, this definitely will end perfectly.

[Beans]

Concrete Abstraction

Pat just grunts in acknowledgement and continues her stride forward.
Yeah, this definitely will end perfectly.

Eventually they'll reach the factory building. There's nobody here but dumb service drones hustling about, and they can go inside, into the rather clean, white-blue lobby...

[Deathkeeper]

Concrete Abstraction

Pat angrily shoves the door open and equally angrily tromps over to the front desk so she can demand to see the person in charge!
Unless there's no one there, in which case she would have to angrily look for him/her/it.

[Beans]

Concrete Abstraction

Pat angrily shoves the door open and equally angrily tromps over to the front desk so she can demand to see the person in charge!
Unless there's no one there, in which case she would have to angrily look for him/her/it.

There's an unhappy-looking person at the front desk, some sort of harried-looking crab-taur with her dirty-blonde hair in a bun, glasses, and watery blue eyes.

[Deathkeeper]

Concrete Abstraction

Aha! Here is a person prime for angrily marching up to!
Which Pat does! While Angrily leaning on the desk!
"Hey. I'd like to speak to the guy in charge. He's got a factory on my lawn, and I think I'd be justified in filing a claim for disturbing the peace. And that's just back home." she says, sounding extremely grumpy.

[Beans]

Concrete Abstraction

Aha! Here is a person prime for angrily marching up to!
Which Pat does! While Angrily leaning on the desk!
"Hey. I'd like to speak to the guy in charge. He's got a factory on my lawn, and I think I'd be justified in filing a claim for disturbing the peace. And that's just back home." she says, sounding extremely grumpy.

The receptionist turns, her crabbity legs clicking as she slowwwwly drags her head and eyes up to look at Pat, giving her a blink as if her eyelids are weighted with copious amounts of lead shot. And also as if she feels like a baby animal with a missing limb and two weeks to live.

"I'm sorry, but Mr. Arschersetzer is away at the moment. I can take a message as an exercise in futility given that he is the literal worst being in existence."

[Deathkeeper]

Reception Area

Pat smiles. Almost evilly.
"Well, I think that was an endorsement on your dinner menu, Acanthe." she says, but her smile falls quickly.
"Why are you here then?" she asks. And with good reason! With those crab legs sitting must be nigh-impossible, and that's what the jerk was complaining about!

[KerfuffleMach2]

Mirror, Mirror

Well, if they don't take advantage of the opening, then that's their problem, now isn't it?

Darsy manages to move to the side before the first punch, dodging the second as well.

She moves back a couple of steps, see that they're connected on the floor, and makes a quick check for any signs of other shadow things forming.

If none exist, she goes ahead and aims punches and kicks at both of them.

[Beans]

Reception Area

Pat smiles. Almost evilly.
"Well, I think that was an endorsement on your dinner menu, Acanthe." she says, but her smile falls quickly.
"Why are you here then?" she asks. And with good reason! With those crab legs sitting must be nigh-impossible, and that's what the jerk was complaining about!

The woman sighs. "This is my job... working for him means you're less likely to get another butt-swap. Mostly. I think. He's completely insane and I have no idea what's even going on any more."
She ineffectually balps away at her keyboard while Acanthe nibbles a landline phone.

"And what are you here for?"