Screw it, what would *I* do? (OOTS meets WDYD)

[cavalieredraghi]

As the paladin wonders what to do next. a long shot of an idea comes to his mind; Can Dora's new pet track down this sneaky assassin? Does it even have the track feat?

[GorinichSerpant]

As a awakened animal Rat has a grasp of the gnomish language and yells in it "put me down two legs!! I'm not a taste!!! Do you even know where I've been?!!!?"

[Chd]

I'd make a pole-dancing Bard.

Name: "Calliste"
Race: Half-Elf
Class: Bard (Dancer)
Gender/Sex: Female (Bisexual)
Age: 16

Equipment: Leather "Armor", Handbag of Holding, Riding Crop, rations and gold she's made.
Skills: Sense Motive, Profession(Courtesan), 'Diplomacy'.

Background: Bastard Daughter of an Elven Woman, she fled her home after her stepfather offered her hand in marriage to his half-orc/elf colleague. Running from her past, she's taken the stage-name of "Calliste" and makes a living as a traveling performer. Her Human-sized Bosoms and soft, human jaw on an otherwise elvish body makes her both a noble and royal favorite!

[Jormengand]

As a awakened animal Rat has a grasp of the gnomish language and yells in it "put me down two legs!! I'm not a taste!!! Do you even know where I've been?!!!?"

--> Rat: Speak bad Russian Gnomish.



Okay, sorry, but Dora gets 4 bonus languages and even she can't understand that.

As the paladin wonders what to do next. a long shot of an idea comes to his mind; Can Dora's new pet track down this sneaky assassin? Does it even have the track feat?

--> Coaly: Send Rat to track Anna.

Hmm... Now I think she must be over... here... I'm getting closer... and there!



...That is not an assassin.

I'd make a pole-dancing Bard.

Name: "Calliste"
Race: Half-Elf
Class: Bard (Dancer)
Gender/Sex: Female (Bisexual)
Age: 16

Equipment: Leather "Armor", Handbag of Holding, Riding Crop, rations and gold she's made.
Skills: Sense Motive, Profession(Courtesan), 'Diplomacy'.

Background: Bastard Daughter of an Elven Woman, she fled her home after her stepfather offered her hand in marriage to his half-orc/elf colleague. Running from her past, she's taken the stage-name of "Calliste" and makes a living as a traveling performer. Her Human-sized Bosoms and soft, human jaw on an otherwise elvish body makes her both a noble and royal favorite!

--> Callie: Introduction.

Your name is Calliste. You are a bard with the "Pole dancer" ACF. You like to get on people's "Poles" and do a "Dance." Of course, you get extra money "Dancing" for people with no "Poles" to "Dance" on - you dance both dances, if you know what I mean.

*Ahem.*

Anyway, you're not an assassin. And there's an awakened rat in front of you. What do you do?

[GorinichSerpant]

(as a side note I speak Russian in real life so you must be a telepath!)

The Rat attempts to puppy eye the bard, and then rob her.

[cavalieredraghi]

the paladin rolls a spot check on the rat, and if sees hi trying to pick pocket stops him, but in a funny way that causes, him to look like a pervert, even though he is not.

[Chd]

--> Callie: Introduction.

Your name is Calliste. You are a bard with the "Pole dancer" ACF. You like to get on people's "Poles" and do a "Dance." Of course, you get extra money "Dancing" for people with no "Poles" to "Dance" on - you dance both dances, if you know what I mean.

*Ahem.*

Anyway, you're not an assassin. And there's an awakened rat in front of you. What do you do?[/QUOTE]

Calliste will sense motives on the rat, and give the little fella a gold piece to alleviate his greed.

"Hey there little fella.... Um like, can I call you 'Wormtail', as like, 'Rat' seems too plain?"

"Here, have a Shiny, but if you like, try to steal from me again, I will put you in with my loot and let you choke, okies?"

[Chd]

--> Callie: Introduction.

Your name is Calliste. You are a bard with the "Pole dancer" ACF. You like to get on people's "Poles" and do a "Dance." Of course, you get extra money "Dancing" for people with no "Poles" to "Dance" on - you dance both dances, if you know what I mean.

*Ahem.*

Anyway, you're not an assassin. And there's an awakened rat in front of you. What do you do?

Calliste will sense motives on the rat, and give the little fella a gold piece to alleviate his greed.

"Hey there little fella.... Um like, can I call you 'Wormtail', as like, 'Rat' seems too plain?"

"Here, have a Shiny, but if you like, try to steal from me again, I will put you in with my loot and let you choke, okies?"

[GorinichSerpant]

Calliste will sense motives on the rat, and give the little fella a gold piece to alleviate his greed.

"Hey there little fella.... Um like, can I call you 'Wormtail', as like, 'Rat' seems too plain?"

"Here, have a Shiny, but if you like, try to steal from me again, I will put you in with my loot and let you choke, okies?"

"черт" squeaked Rat

I think we need focus back to the plot before this splits off into two different adventures.

[Chd]

"черт" squeaked Rat

I think we need focus back to the plot before this splits off into two different adventures.

Calliste uses Summon: Plot Exposition to eavesdrop on the BBEG's monologue in hopes it reveals where the assassin is to be encountered.

The Paladin and Cleric then go to enlist the aid of the guards.

[Jormengand]

(as a side note I speak Russian in real life so you must be a telepath!)

The Rat attempts to puppy eye the bard, and then rob her.

the paladin rolls a spot check on the rat, and if sees hi trying to pick pocket stops him, but in a funny way that causes, him to look like a pervert, even though he is not.

Calliste will sense motives on the rat, and give the little fella a gold piece to alleviate his greed.

"Hey there little fella.... Um like, can I call you 'Wormtail', as like, 'Rat' seems too plain?"

"Here, have a Shiny, but if you like, try to steal from me again, I will put you in with my loot and let you choke, okies?"

-->Rat: Sleight of Hand!
-->Coaly: Bluff!
-->Callie: Sense motive!
-->Chandy, Dora: Hide!



Muahaha! I have a shiny!

It's a ring, apparently... Wait, what does it say here?



Of course, Rat had no way of knowing that Anna was the name of the assassin...

Calliste uses Summon: Plot Exposition to eavesdrop on the BBEG's monologue in hopes it reveals where the assassin is to be encountered.

The Paladin and Cleric then go to enlist the aid of the guards.

...But somehow, he managed to work out that he needed to get Callie to cast Summon Plot Exposition.



Wait, wha...? Okay, you lost me at the school line. Let's just cast this, and...



...And that's where the ring came from. So, yeah. Screw it, what would I do?

[GorinichSerpant]

Rat and Callie: Do something that actually makes you join the party and know what the quest is.

Rat: Look confused as to why you were given a plot exposition for no apparent reason. Even thought the assassin in question killed the druid that awakened Rat, it still doesn't make sense why the Bard cast
Plot Exposition.

[Chd]

Rat and Callie: Do something that actually makes you join the party and know what the quest is.

Rat: Look confused as to why you were given a plot exposition for no apparent reason. Even thought the assassin in question killed the druid that awakened Rat, it still doesn't make sense why the Bard cast
Plot Exposition.

Callie: "Sorry bout that, Wormtail, It just seemed appropriate, you-know?"

"Anyway, I'm looking for Anna, and the ummm... 'Rule of Conservation of Detail' or something means I wouldn't be introduced to the story as like a Named Character or something."

"My head hurts from thinking too hard, I remember alot of what I learned at Bard Camp, but I remember more of a salty taste in m- Can you like, lead me to your masters? I can pay with either more shinies... or favors"

[Inevitability]

Grin evilly. The material component of a spell gets annihilated while casting it, so the fourth wall is now gone!

[Asta Kask]

It regenerates.

[cavalieredraghi]

Coal: well we are looking for Anna too, Her evil must be purged. I mean we could use the help in tracking her down, do you have any ideas were to start looking?

[Chd]

Calle: "I like, didn't getcha name? Is their a way you can remove her evil, she was too good a lay to just, you'know, slay?"

Calle paces back and forwards sensually, trying to think before pointing to the cleric: "You there! Can you um... cast Miracle? If you need diamonds, I have some, 'Diamonds are a girl's second best friend' after all...

[Graypairofsocks]

Well, we don't exactly look like the big damn heroes, but...

Party: Attempt to look like big damn heroes.

[Jormengand]

Rat and Callie: Do something that actually makes you join the party and know what the quest is.

Callie: "Sorry bout that, Wormtail, It just seemed appropriate, you-know?"

"Anyway, I'm looking for Anna, and the ummm... 'Rule of Conservation of Detail' or something means I wouldn't be introduced to the story as like a Named Character or something."

"My head hurts from thinking too hard, I remember alot of what I learned at Bard Camp, but I remember more of a salty taste in m- Can you like, lead me to your masters? I can pay with either more shinies... or favors"

-->Callie: Try to pay Rat in "Favours".

"Leave it for the fanfiction!"

Anyway, you join the party. Yay!

Grin evilly. The material component of a spell gets annihilated while casting it, so the fourth wall is now gone!

It regenerates.

Yeah, the fourth wall is like the tarrasque, an acid-immune war troll and Achaekek the mantis god rolled into one. You can knock it down for a bit, but the rest of the time it's looming over you.

Coal: well we are looking for Anna too, Her evil must be purged. I mean we could use the help in tracking her down, do you have any ideas were to start looking?

Calle: "I like, didn't getcha name? Is their a way you can remove her evil, she was too good a lay to just, you'know, slay?"

Yeah, but seriously, I (the name's Coaly, by the way) have Smite Evil, not a Helm of Opposite Alignment.

Anyway, I think she must be seriously evil...

Calle paces back and forwards sensually, trying to think before pointing to the cleric: "You there! Can you um... cast Miracle? If you need diamonds, I have some, 'Diamonds are a girl's second best friend' after all...

If Chandy were 17th level, how the hell would she not have caught and killed a 5th-level character by now?

Party: Attempt to look like big damn heroes.

--> Party: GROUP PHOTO!



Okay, so you're a party. Don't split it.

What do you do? Screw it, what would I do?

[ti'esar]

I've completely lost track of the plot, inasmuch as there was one. So now that we're all posing together... compare notes, I guess?

[Chd]

Nympho: Use the ring to divine the previous owner's location via scrying?

Coaly: eevesdrop on the streets, see what he can overhear.

Astria: Attempt to find a scroll of 'Miracle', have Rat steal it.

Calle: Provide a distraction for rat.

[1pwny]

Everyone falls into a hole and is in a dungeon!

[Asta Kask]

*sings*

In the dungeon, the mighty dungeon, the ogre sleeps tonight...

[Epinephrine_Syn]

Ogre's Alarm Clock, march ominously towards zero.

[Asta Kask]

Ogre's masterwork greatclub (made from ebony) is at the ready...

[ti'esar]

-->Thread Participants: Grow impatient.

[Jormengand]

I've completely lost track of the plot, inasmuch as there was one. So now that we're all posing together... compare notes, I guess?

Okay, gather round everyone:

• The thing we're actually technically here to do is rescue Dora's brother, Gigotto, from the mad wizard Hormanst
• While attempting to gather evidence from Dora and Gigotto's house, we found that it had been burned down, probably by Anna, the assassin who isn't an Assassin.
• Coalen Goldbludgen is an amnesiac paladin who doesn't know... well, very much really, but he is Dora's friend and wants to help her.
• Dora wants to rescue Gigotto because of the whole brother/sister thing.
• Astria se Chandor chi Hilar Ko-Derrad, AKA Chandy, was an adept in service of the Iron Army (who own this join, at least in a De Jure kind of sense) but joined the party to swap her adept level for a cleric level, taking the City and Artifice domains. It's not entirely clear what god she worships.
• Rat was attempting to pickpocket Coaly when Dora decided to keep it as a pet.
• "Calliste," AKA Callie, was tracked by Rat when it was trying to track Anna. Of course, it turns out that Anna had ample opportunity to rub her scent all over Callie, so that makes sense. Callie has apparently joined the party, because bards are supposed to be unable to resist adventure. Also, she's not entirely convinced Anna could be evil, and wants an explanation.

Phew. Anyway...

Nympho: Use the ring to divine the previous owner's location via scrying?

Coaly: eevesdrop on the streets, see what he can overhear.

Astria: Attempt to find a scroll of 'Miracle', have Rat steal it.

Calle: Provide a distraction for rat.

-->Dora, Chandy: Be first level
-->Coaly: Be a paladin.

Got any other bright ideas?

Everyone falls into a hole and is in a dungeon!

*sings*

In the dungeon, the mighty dungeon, the ogre sleeps tonight...

Ogre's Alarm Clock, march ominously towards zero.

Ogre's masterwork greatclub (made from ebony) is at the ready...

-->Everyone: Fall into a giant dungeon.

Whuh... where are w...

Oh. Right. Okay. Angry ogre.

Dora, Dora, what you doin. Dora, stahp.

Oh.

Right.

Well, I don't think it's entirely neccessary to depict exactly how the party tear their way through a CR3 encounter, at first level, with one spell. Well, that's almost enough XP to level up...

Screw it, what would I do?

-->Thread Participants: Grow impatient.

Hey, remember that SiWWID isn't like my job or something, and I am still going to school at the same time. SiWWID makes me no money, and it has a small enough fanbase (about 6, 7 people at best?) that I don't feel obligated to "Do it for the fans". Sometimes my reason for not updating will be that I'd much rather enjoy those two hours doing something I'm in the mood to do right now, and I don't really need a better reason than that. Whether I update twice in one day or once in four days is an indicator of whether I'm up to making a comic, how much work I have to do, and what my depression rolled on its damage roll. Be patient.

[ti'esar]

In my defense, I was interpreting all that stuff about the ogre as similar sentiments, just phrased more obliquely.

[Asta Kask]

Pick up a torch, look around, choose a good direction and start walking.

[GorinichSerpant]

Rat loot and maybe eats the ogre, while complaining that it's a valid PC in it's own right and not someone else's pet.

Dora ignores and/or doesn't understand Rat's complaining and continues to treat it like Rat is her pet.

Everyone else question if the mage who picked up a rat off the streets is completely sane.