[BitPR²] OOCVI: We have a space base now!

[TherianTheorist]

Seconded, protagonist syndrome does not mean it works for everyone.

Plus, breaking a non-bankai is crippling, at least for a while.

[Kuroimaken]

Admittedly, Asauchi should be more fragile than named Zanpakutou, but what happens when he inevitably grows in power?

[Dorizzit]

I concur with Frozen_Feet; breaking an Asauchi is very close to literally meaningless. And everything above that necessarily goes on a case-by-case basis, since Shikai and Bankai durability is proportionate to the power of the user.

[AgentIndy]

Post rate varies by player. I'm trying once a week, personally.

Usually, the best way to introduce a new character is to get someone else to help you with an introductory scene.

And I take it Torryn's shikai is meant to be Iaido themed?

Yes, his Shikai is supposed to be based off Iaijutsu/Iaido.

Once I manage to work my sheet out, I will see who is available for an introductory scene.


Alright, I'll try to go through all of these things. The submission was written over a few work breaks, so I am not surprised there are issues.

(Minor nitpícking: Reiatsu, not reiastu.)

Hmmm. Cursory examination of his abilities bring up the following questions:

Can anyone besides Torryn store Reiatsu into the sheath? If so, no upper limit on storage is a bit of a no-no. This could lead to him being able to cheat his way out of his "weight class".

The storage is for him only, good catch though. That could be really over powered if people could add to it.

What happens to the stored Reiatsu when his blade is resealed?

It would be reabsorbed into his soul. Slowly, as to not hurt him.

Being able to cut Asauchi is... kind of really, REALLY strong for an unseated. Being able to cut Zanpakutou at all to start with, Asauchi or no, is something to be quite wary of.

I was going for 'being able to cut steel'. It couldn't cut anyone's blade that has a meaningful Reiatsu. I can change it, the idea was to create a sturdy blade that took almost all of his useable Reiatsu.

Thirty minutes is an awful long amount of time when it comes to a battle ability. From how it's described, it feels as though the blades themselves remain after Tatara is resealed.

Now that's a casualty of writing during work breaks. The style of fighting that I envisioned for Torryn essentially utilizes expendable swords. 1 minute being the standard duration, with it being longer for stronger blades would be better. When resealed, the reishi returns to the sheath,and dissembles the swords.

It's worth noting that in the last fifty years in-game, all Menos disappeared (few people know why), and Hollows wandering into Soul Society proper (in groups, no less) is pretty much unheard of. It wouldn't happen at random. Neither would a patrol of Shinigami. It's not impossible for them to have infiltrated, but... they'd need a REALLY good reason to do it besides "oh look, lunch I sensed from across dimensions".


Why was L'Algherri an exile, and for that matter, how come he wasn't hunted down like a rabid dog? The man knew how to forge Asauchi. That's essentially a military state secret, there should be a whole squad of Internal Security whose only job was to come after this guy until they found him, foregoing food, sleep and going to the bathroom until they did.

I like the concept, but it needs work.

The history is the thing that needs the most revision. I realize now how problematic that most of it is.

Here is a list of things with the history I plan to change:
-Changing L'Agherri from exile to 'retired' elderly Shinigami who was a member of the Seireitei R&D division, who is allowed to continue his personal work as long as a squad of Internal Security members are ready to swoop down to silence him if he attempts to escape.
-L'Algherri's goal is to find an alternative way to craft Asauchi, in case any thing happened to the Royal Guard.
-Torryn bonded with the Asauchi when it was forged. And was instructed by L'Algherri to go receive instruction at the Seireitei. Remove hollow attack entirely.


I appreciate the feedback.
What else do I need to change?

[Kuroimaken]

Yeah, I sometimes catch myself picturing how to break my own powersets, so.

Actually, being able to cut steel is probably fine. Most swords in Bleach are of the Impossibly Sharp variety anyway.

So if the Reishi returns to the sheath, how much does he lose between sword dissipation and energy return? Is there a loss in the process, and if so, how big or small is it? I can see him getting tired from a drawn-out battle that way, or actually being more suited for longer battles because he loses very little power with each attack.

One would have to wonder why he retired and continued working. But I can see this deal being acceptable. Basically, the guy's a person of interest to Seireitei ranks. He'd probably need permission from Seireitei to teach Torryn at all; can't have just anybody becoming one without Academy intervention. In which case, it would probably be best if Torryn got sent to the Academy, and then he came back to learn under L'Algherri, at which point he could bond with the Asauchi he himself forged.

[AgentIndy]

I see the Sword Forging ability as an endurance ability, reliant on standard swordplay and wearing the opponent down.

I altered Torryn's sheet on the previous page, and I am switching him over to the Engineering Corps as Unseated due to the altered history I wrote up. A look over that would be appreciated. I am looking forward to playing in this though, it has been a while since I have gotten to play in a forum role play.

[Kuroimaken]

Looks better now, though you're still spelling "Reiastu" in a couple of places here and there.

I take it his skill levels are relative to his status as an unseated?

I could be mistaken, because I often forget what Engineering DOES exactly, but wouldn't a researching Zanpakutou blacksmith be a better fit for the SSI? Engineering is a lot about SCIENCE!, after all.

Anyone else wanna weigh in so I don't look like the bad guy here? XD

[AgentIndy]

Oh man, now that's just embarrassing. I'll fix those.

In regards to skills:Pretty much, except for maybe his ability to manipulate reiatsu and reishi, though those are more skills that apply to his black smithing.

I was thinking about that. He could fall on either side of the spectrum. I'm personally willing to fill any position, and either place Torryn ends up in, I could see collaboration with the other department happening.

I really do appreciate the advice, you're not being that harsh.


Edit

I've altered the sheet for Torryn so that he is in the SSI.

[5a Violista]

Question:

Are people waiting for me, or am I waiting for people? I lost track.

[AgentIndy]

I'm waiting for anyone.

[TherianTheorist]

Question:

Are people waiting for me, or am I waiting for people? I lost track.

Frozen may be waiting on you?

Since Caeyrn just saw Demetrio begging for help, and hasn't reacted yet.

Also, Valentina hasn't done anything since she exited the battle with Niklaus and Jehoel. That I can think of?

[AgentIndy]

Anyone else have feedback for my character sheet? And would anyone be available for an opening scene?

[TherianTheorist]

I'd offer my Shini, but he's in big trouble, and I /still/ haven't gotten around to figuring out just how severe it is and if he can buffalo though any of it.

[Kuroimaken]

Given that it's sorta Command's job to assign punishment ... What kinda trouble did your character get into?

[TherianTheorist]

He was the guy who let the Awakened Sin Rostro in.

[Frozen_Feet]

And would anyone be available for an opening scene?

Depends, is him being in the SSI final, or will you switch to the Engineering Corps?

I have 55 pieces of Nanashi being toured around by Hideki's nameless mooks. I'd rather have Torryn take up that part if it means I can write more inane dialogue for them.

[AgentIndy]

Depends, is him being in the SSI final, or will you switch to the Engineering Corps?

I have 55 pieces of Nanashi being toured around by Hideki's nameless mooks. I'd rather have Torryn take up that part if it means I can write more inane dialogue for them.

The Engineering Corp looks appealing, and it's not like I can't get a transfer later if I want to. I'll take you up on that offer.

[Kuroimaken]

FINALLY back from the limbo of not having ready access to a PC.

What'd I miss?

[TherianTheorist]

Well, I answered your question for one.

[Kuroimaken]

He was the guy who let the Awakened Sin Rostro in.

"We got 56 workers out of it. How are you in trouble?"

[TherianTheorist]

...I don't know anymore. Never-mind, that train of thought was parked so long doesn't make sense anymore.

Maybe I'll have him check in on them (in both the singular and plural) when I get around to it.

EDIT: A whole fortnight where nothing happened, strange...

[Frozen_Feet]

Mahonri Violist, in case you missed it, the Nachfolger are rejuvenating and about to cause trouble to Valentina.

[Kuroimaken]

Am I the only one picturing Koutarou going to Las Noches to deliver the Central 46 reprimand to Jehoel and going "HOLY CRAP ON A STICK, WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!"... and then advising the Quincy to stand down before he nukes them?

[Frozen_Feet]

Perforce that would require nuking good bit of the Armada, including Kyoki, Turiel and Quidel. No-one would believe Koutarou has the balls to do it.

[Kuroimaken]

That's what warning shots are for.

[Lady Serpentine]

So. Basic shell. Abilities to come after knowing if they work otherwise?

J. Hart, The Ashen Forest

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Age: Perhaps two hundred. The memories start (or stop?) there, at least, though those who know more would suspect older from where they were kept.
Gender: ???
Height: Four feet exactly
Weight: Seventy-one pounds
Association: Their own dark heart.
Aspect of Death: Inevitability
Mask Fragment: Vine-like white tendrils across their chest.
Hollow hole: A two inch wide void through their heart that each vine points to.
Reiatsu: Creeping roots and falling leaves of grey energy that cause paranoia.
Description:

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Hart is physically unimposing; tiny, and slender even for their size, their skills are clearly not in fighting, despite the knife they carry on a slender belt of wooden panels, no matter their other clothing. Their eyes are milk white and clouded, with scarred lids, and their hair is a brittle, lank, curtain of silver reaching their feet.

As a Hollow, Hart resembled a stunted tree with roots in place of legs and a gnarled bark-like hide, their arms disproportionately thick branches ending in coiled vines. Their mask was a clinging overgrowth, and they were crowned by barren branch-antlers dripping moss.

Personality:

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A bitter shell who is above all looking for answers, Hart has no memories before escaping their abandoned prison that were not inside it - and they estimate that they were, judging only by those, trapped alone for two hundred years.

Still, despite amnesia and anger, Hart remains intelligent enough to blend in as best they can... For now. Perhaps dreams of a grey forest in blacks sands hold a clue to their past.

Edit: For reference... Anything goes for where/why Hart ws locked up. Maybe the First Hollow King saw them as a useful threat. Maybe they were an affiliate. Or they could just be some poor bastard thrown in a cage a long long time ago. Whatever works.

[AnimeKid]

Guess who's back?

Hey guys, guess what?! I finally managed to get a new laptop. Yes AnimeKid is back and this time he is here to stay baby! Plus I see we got some newcomers. Nice to meet you all.

[Kuroimaken]

Sorry for taking so long to respond, folks. Finals were a total female dog...

Hey C'nor, welcome. Not sure I understand your concept... Is Hart basically an amnesiac tree Hollow?

Hey, Animekid. Glad to see you around. Not much action going on at this point, I think this whole month has been running us ragged.

[Lady Serpentine]

Amnesic tree Arrancar, yep.

[Kuroimaken]

That'd be... a first. Not that it bothers me, I'm just curious how it'll turn out.