Silly Plots

[UncleWolf]

Spoiler

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Adventure Sewers

Morgan frowns at the thing. Undead are so weird. Just...why are these things like this? Who ever thought such things would be good? Somehow it's even worse than normal monsters.
She sighs. "Don't gimme that look, you poor sap."

Morgan summons up her whip again, trying to wrap it around the bodak's torso. If she succeeds, she'll give it a mighty yank and lets go of the whip, flapping up with her wings and slamming her front hooves into the sides of the undead's head as it is pulled forward. Hey, it worked last time.

Temperance Teahouse

Spako Highclaws arrives, dressed in his finest clothes, which are really quite plain red pants and an equally red scarf that have been pressed and cleaned well. His sword, spellbook, and Deck are at his belt, but he chose not to come in his chain mail. He enters the place and after being directed to the table, walks up and bows deeply.
"Good afternoon, Sir. I understand that you're in need of some help?" he asks politely. It may or may not be obvious that his use of "Sir" is with the utmost respect. Spako's native tongue does not differentiate between different levels of superiority.

[Temperance Teahouse]

Jazirian arrives at the Teahouse. He had heard the buzz/announcement/whatever of the king who had needed help evicting an unfortunate dragon, and thought he might lend his aid. Kings tend to have rather large sums of gold, after all, and Jazirian happens to be quite fond of gold.

Of course, being a dragon himself, he can't imagine the King would be favorable to him should he appear in his true form. Thankfully, his preferred human form happens to be ideal for disguising himself as a young heroic peasant boy, the type of which always appears in the fantasy romances Jazirian hides and would never admit to reading if found.

Yes, his youthful features, pale complexion, and carelessly tousled golden locks go so wonderfully with the rustic outfit he managed to assemble, accentuated with the dented armor pieces at his shoulders and limbs - likely hand-me-downs from an ancient military tradition he never knew existed until dire circumstances forced him to leave his quaint little country village. Dire circumstances that are likely also responsible for the sword he wears slightly uncomfortably at his hip - a masterpiece work likely found deep in the woods, or gifted by a mysterious stranger, or found amongst the possessions of his grandfather, who once left the village and returned under mysterious circumstances, never to talk about his strange departure.

Add in the unique charm of his differently colored eyes - the right one gold and the left one sky blue - and he's almost certainly a boy destined to fulfill any number of prophecies, slay countless dragons (these are always Jazirian's least favorite parts - the dragons never get a happily ever after in his books :c), and woo any number of princesses... not that that's what Jazirian's after, of course. Certainly not. Completely in it for the shiny metals. Of course.

[Ruined League of Ruins]

Hey look! It's Kal! He's here! Approaching from a rather different direction than any heroes, we'll say for convenience's sake. He's also not dressed in his Spooktober costume anymore, having replaced his revealing Union uniform for a slightly more plain black one, with purple linings, suitable for any senior underling that a respectable villain might have. He's also got his gauntlets.

He makes a rather direct beeline for where his dramatic instincts are telling him a trap or guard might be, in an attempt to address it and ask where its boss is, hopefully before it kills him.

Temperance Teahouse

The King nods and waits a few minutes, obviously hoping more would show up, but resigns himself to just the two after a bit before giving a sigh. "Alright, I suppose if any others show up you two can catch them up." He says as he sets his cup of tea aside. "I am King Yadris III, and I'm wanting you to save my daughter from a dragon." The older man starts off, leaning forward onto the table a bit. "I have many sons, but due to a mishap involving a cat, laser pointer, and a disco ball, none of them will be able to give me grandchildren anymore." It sounds like a bad joke, but his serious tone tells them it's anything but. "Because of this, I asked a neighboring kingdom send over an illegitimate child that I had while I was young. I'm a widower and there are legal issues with me marrying again, so I haven't taken a second wife in order to do this a different way, and then there's the issue of the time needed to raise a child from scratch. While they agreed to send the child, they were only halfway to my castle when a dragon destroyed the caravan and took my daughter hostage." He explains before pulling out a couple small photographs to slide them over the table to the two. The picture shows a person with vaguely elfen features with a small nose, flawless ivory complexion, and long wavy golden hair. The picture is only a bust though, and she seems to have a gentle smile. "These are all I have of her. I haven't met her yet so I can't say what she might be wearing. Her name is Brittany."

[Deathkeeper]

Temperance Teahouse

Spako nods. "Alright, has the dragon done anything that would guarantee that she's still alright, or do we not know what it plans to be doing with her? Either way, where exactly should we start looking?" asks the kobold, essentially ignoring the politics. That's one thing he has no hope of understanding.

Shadowood Hold

Morgan gulps. "Thank you Ma'am. I'll gladly take the position.
I don't know about a team, though. I'm so new that I'm hardly capable of knowing enough folks to make an educated decision about who's best for what."

[Rebonack]

[Shadowood Hold]

"As strange as it might sound? Ask your friends to accompany you," Myrrh replies. "There's a magic in friendship when equestrians are involved like nothing I've seen before. And that's saying quite a bit! After all, I'm a pretty old nag."

It's easy to forget that she used to be a millennia old mummy before she was brought into the Team.

"Barring that, I can offer a few suggestions about what to look for. You already have your burglar," she says, nodding toward Shadow. "You still need a warrior, a healer, and a magic user. I suppose an acrobat or a cavalier couldn't hurt... Oh dear, I'm not dating myself with my terminology, am I?"

She totally is.

"Regardless, you'll make new friends for yourself as you go. The undead slaves of this lich will be redeemed as ponies of our Mistress. Normally the undead count on their ability to convert the living as their greatest strength, but we turn the tables on them."

Undead aren't use to having things eat and convert them!

[Deathkeeper]

Shawood Keep

Morgan nods. She preferred to keep someone so nice as Air Brush out of scary combat, but everyone did seem to insist on being too competent to use something like that as an excuse.
"Yeah, I don't know if Chocolate would want to come, since he didn't seem all that enthusiastic against the sewer monsters, but we'll see. Do you have anyone you might recommend as well? Ardent and Slip and Red were the only powerful folks I know on the team besides the Boss herself, and that's all because we share a birthday." she says with a snicker.

[Recaiden]

Swampside

Krayger heads outside, away from the vaguely helpful swamp-resident who probably thinks he's crazy.

The swamp waits.

And there's also a low buzzing sound in the air.

[Ruined League of Ruins]

"Doing just fine, Malice."
Turns out having a robot switch between looking at you awkwardly and looking at someone else is a lot more humorous than it is uncomfortable.
Ashna lets the flames die down to be just at her feet, as usual.

"You have any popcorn?"

[Rebonack]

[Shadowood Hold]

Myrrh gives a small nod.

"I think I have somepony who would be of great help to you," she says before pushing a large button on the desk with her hoof. "Rosie, would you come to my office please?"

And then?

She waits!

Hmmm...

What kind of super cool ninja pony might Myrrh have summoned?

Stay tuned to find ou!

[Lost_Deep]

Shadowood Hold

After a bit, a unicorn shadeling comes down and steps into the office. She is loaded down with heavy saddlebags, and her cutie mark is a sickly green biohazard symbol. "Here I am! Oh, hello," She says to Morgan, "I'm Rosie Nail."

[Deathkeeper]

Swampside

The swamp seems to do a lot of waiting, doesn't it?
But buzzing doesn't seem too weird. It's a swamp, after all. Swamps have flies.
Krayger looks around, to see if there's any water he can follow the way the man instructed.

Shadowood Hold

Morgan nods.
"Gilded Shadow, but you can call me Morgan too if you like. I need people to raid a lich's dungeon. You interested?" she asks.

[Lost_Deep]

Shadowood Hold

Rosie blinks in confusion. This is not what she expected. "Sure? I'm not really an adventure pony by profession, but... I kind of want to try. Truth be told, I haven't had much to do here at the hold. I don't think any of us CAN get sick."

[Deathkeeper]

Shadowood Hold

Morgan raises an eyebrow. "Oh? You a doctor or somethin'?" she asks.

[Lost_Deep]

Shadowood Hold

"I was a medical student, you know, before, and now I have this virology cutie mark, and I can just puzzle out things about diseases now, which would be GREAT if any of us could get diseases. Maybe I should volunteer at a hospital. Or try to finish my degree... something. She shrugs. "Like I said, not much for me to do beyond just general helping."

[Deathkeeper]

Shadowood Hold

Morgan offers a shrug. "Well, maybe it'll help identify some of the undead down there. Sometimes undeath counts as a disease or something. Either way, being willing and capable are the only requirements, so if you want in you're in. Anything else we should know?"

[Lost_Deep]

Shadowood Hold

"Nothing that leaps to mind from my end," Rose says, looking at Myrrh.

[Deathkeeper]

Shadowood Hold

Morgan nods.
"Well, okay then. Anything else, Ma'am?" she says, directing the question at Myrrh Balm.

[Rebonack]

[Shadowood Hold]

Myrrh gives a small nod. "As strange as this might sound, only bring one other friend with you on this mission." She holds up a hoof to thwart any arguing. "The Dungeons of Doom use a somewhat... usual system of operation. Three people or fewer is 'Normal'. Four to six is 'Difficult'. Seven to nine is 'Insane' and ten or more is 'Deathtrap'."

Well.

That's certainly interesting.

"So entering with yourself and two allies is the ideal. That means you'll just need-"

Suddenly the door flies open!

"Oooh! Me! Me! Pick me!" Opal says as she rears up on her hind hooves and waves her front legs int the air. "Meeeeee! Pick me!"

Myrrh does her best to keep a straight face. She may yet suceed. "Where you listening outside the door?"

"No! Maybe. Okay, yes. But it's my brother down there!" Opal replies before grabbing Shadow and giving her a pleading look. "You've gotta pick me to come with you!"

[Deathkeeper]

Shadowood Hold

Morgan is grabbed! Grabby ponies are so odd, given the lack of things to grab with.
"Relax, Opal, I was going to anyway. Myrrh told me five minutes that I ought to ask my friends, so if there's a person-limit you were at the top of the priority list anyway."

[Lost_Deep]

Shadowood Hold

Oh dear... a brother? "Yow. It's personal, huh? Well, I'm happy to help a friend in need-"

"...huh, saying that non-sarcastically feels weird..."

"-and I'm sure that we'll be able to free your brother from the lich."

Ohh... she missed that detail.

[Rebonack]

[Shadowood Hold]

"Oh Shadow, you're the best!" Opal laughs as she rears up on her hind hooves and hugs Shadow with her front legs. It's worth pointing out again that equestrians are jointed very strangely. Let's them move in uncannily human ways when they feel so inclined.

And Rosie's slip doesn't seem to bug Opal in the least. "You're right, buddy! We will. My brother will, without a doubt, be freed from that lich when we're done."

Well.

It's true.

He won't be enslaved to undeath as a lich any longer.

"One more thing before you go," Myrrh says as Opal finally stops crushing Shadow. "Good luck."

[Deathkeeper]

Shadowood Hold

If by "strangely" you mean "they basically aren't" then yes!
Morgan tries to respond, but is busy trying to be able to breathe. But once released,
"It's fine. Thanks. Well, we better go make preparations. Thank you Ma'am." says Morgan, gesturing to her new team that they should take their leave.

[5a Violista]

Spoiler: Quotes

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Ruined League of Ruins

A transport helicopter comes flying overhead, taking a cautiously wide loop around the site while the occupants strain to examine the structure below, looking for defenses, hostiles, and potential landing zones. It is painted entirely white, with gold letters on the sides of the fuselage spelling out HALO. One of the side doors is open and from it a man in combat gear looks at anybody he can see through the scope of a sniper rifle.

Ruined League of Ruins - Exterior
Aiden and the helicopter won't find much to exploit from outside of the ruins. There are quite a few holes in the roof, yes, but these have been warded off with forcefields laid over them. There are many entrances and exits to the complex, sure, but the part that has undergone repairs, the snaking hallway linking the member quarters, the old infirmary, and the stairway to the detention center, it only has that one doorway. Malice has already sealed off the way he came in (through a hole in the roof and another in the first floor), leading one to believe he expects any and all heroes to just walk right in the front door, to walk through any number of traps or minions he might've set up along the way, and face him battered, bruised, and half-broken.

[Ruined League of Ruins]

After VIGIL's helicopter manages to find a place to let down, a young hero goes down to the ground. Her name is Awen, and she has a fox with her, hanging by her feet.

She carefully goes towards the entrance. The last time she was near a ruined building, she got seriously injured - so, obviously, being by another one makes her more cautious. (Then again, that was because she was in the building when part of it blew up, so...)

Anyway, a description is coming. She's not carrying any magic items or electronics or weapons, so you can't detect her by trying to find magic radiation or such. (Edit: Okay, she has a walkie-talkie.) She also looks pretty thin, weak, once sickly, and tall - which, I'm sure, here in the Nexus means she must be extremely powerful.

She makes her way to the front door. Of course she goes through the front door! What kind of hero would not go through the front door to face a dastardly villain? This is a little frightening, so she swallows before entering. She also tries to come up with a clever catch phrase; what kind of hero would she be if she didn't have a clever catch phrase when faced against ultimate evil?

[Arkhosia]

Spoiler: Quotes

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[Ruined League of Ruins]

After VIGIL's helicopter manages to find a place to let down, a young hero goes down to the ground. Her name is Awen, and she has a fox with her, hanging by her feet.

She carefully goes towards the entrance. The last time she was near a ruined building, she got seriously injured - so, obviously, being by another one makes her more cautious. (Then again, that was because she was in the building when part of it blew up, so...)

Anyway, a description is coming. She's not carrying any magic items or electronics or weapons, so you can't detect her by trying to find magic radiation or such. She also looks pretty thin, weak, once sickly, and tall - which, I'm sure, here in the Nexus means she must be extremely powerful.

She makes her way to the front door. Of course she goes through the front door! What kind of hero would not go through the front door to face a dastardly villain? This is a little frightening, so she swallows before entering. She also tries to come up with a clever catch phrase; what kind of hero would she be if she didn't have a clever catch phrase when faced against ultimate evil?

Sophia stands at the helicopter, waiting anxiously. She may have given Awen a walkie talkie so that if she gets in over her head Sophia can attack and aid after being told she needs aid.

[Ashen Lilies]

[Ruined League of Ruins]

Kal approaches the MalBot, waving a hello.
"Hi! Any chance I could meet your boss? I'm a little out of work at the moment, and that was a frightful good show back at the party - I'm interested in signing up, if he'll have me."

[Temperance Teahouse]

Jazirian nods, but does not speak, having not much he wishes to add to what Spako has said. He can certainly track down a dragon, given a point of origin. For now he's trying his best to look the awkward youth, somewhat awestruck at being in the presence of an actual king.

[Rebonack]

[Shadowood Hold ==> Dungeons of Doom!]

Timeskip?

Timeskip.

Once our heroes have gotten themselves ready Opal will lead them down to the Dungeons of Doom entrance. It's pretty unassuming, honestly. Down in the adventure sewers there's a wooden door banded with iron. One of those doors that's square on the bottom and rounded at the top with a little iron ring set into it for pulling. Pretty much exactly the sort of door one would expect to find in a dungeon.

Less typical is the neon sign above the door that spells out 'Dungeons of Doom'. Each letter sequentially lights up in bright neon green. Once the whole thing is illuminated the whole sign flashes twice, then goes dark again only to repeat the process over and over again.

Opal gives a nervous titter as they approach the door, excitement all too obvious on her. "Alright, let's do this!" she says as she reaches for the iron ring. "Gooooooo Team Nightmære!"

The door is yanked open and-!

Behind the door is a blank wall.

Opal frowns for a moment, then laughs as realization dawns on her. "Oh right! Hehe." She closes the door again and says clearly, "The Crypt of Lord Darksteel, please."

This time, upon opening the door, our heroes are greeted by the sight of a foundry! The scent of molten steel fills the air, mingled with the clang of machinery and distant wails of anguish. Sparks fill the air as molten metal cascades over the ends of stone canals and into vats. The canals vanish into the east wall of the chamber, but there doesn't seem to be any way to access them. Hooked chains dangle from the ceiling, mechanically and monotonously dunking skeletons into the vats of molten metal before dumping them onto an assembly line where other steel-coated skeletons, red pinpricks of light burning in their sockets, make final adjustments to them. At the end of the assembly line the new terminator skeletons climb off the belt and march to the catwalk that rings the room, accessed by several sets of metal stairs. Two doors atop the catwalk are visible, one leading to the north and the other to the south. The skeletons are all marching through the south door.

Opal just gapes at the sight. The terminator skeletons seem to be oblivious to our heroes thus far.

[Darkcomet]

A vintage Magtok? Really? Happy's mental voice sounds intrigued. Couldn't you just go with incapacitation instead of killing? If you're right, this one is a collector's item!

The staring robot will just see Happy standing at the bars of her cage, possibly a little unfocused as she talks to DC. It's been a long time since she's done much telepathy.

Oh, there we go. Moral quandary answered. Be right there.

Tele-

[Ruined League of Ruins]

-port.

An armored DC glances around and suddenly realizes his former subordinates are here, as it seems that's about where he came out.

"Well, ****."

Of course, if any of them feels like trying to spite their rogue officer, they'll find it rather dangerous considering the man is carrying a large personal energy cannon, has two pistols visibly holstered at his sides, and dagger sheaths built into his armor's forearms. Our good psychic friend is loaded for Magtok, you see.

"I'm just here for the prisoners and to put down this Magtok. Stay out of my way, and I'll stay out of yours."

[Lord Magtok]

Ruined League of Ruins - The Straightforward Approach

Hey, you know those ridiculous laser hallways in the movies? Well, as it turns out, Malice's got something like that as the first challenge in his absurd maze of traps and doom. Except...those aren't lasers. No, to make absolutely certain people would know these wouldn't just set off an alarm or two, and do nobody any actual physical harm, he's had the lasers replaced with buzz-saws. There's no mistaking what a spinning buzz-saw will do to exposed flesh, after all. At the end of an absurdly complicated hall full of these things, dancing in all sorts of crazy, frantic patterns, is a lever. You can just barely see it behind all those pointy death blades, but I'm assuming that turns off the trap, to allow people (or Malbots) who can't get by to progress anyways.


Ruined League of Ruins - Malice and his Captives

Ruined League of Ruins

The poking stick of deterrence is expected now, making it harder to hit Krystal with. She picked up the crystal she dropped earlier and uses it to deflect the taser. Sort of a fencing match now.

The bars help her a bit, limiting the area that the robot can attack from. She pulls a hand off of the large crystal, makes a fist, and fires more crystals at it.

I can keep doing this all day, Malice. You got robots to waste like that?

"I might," he shrugs, as yet another robot falls dead at his feet. He pushes a sack of unpopped popcorn through the bar of Ashna's cell, sure that she can take care of the rest on her own, before turning his attention back to Krystal.

"Or I could just shoot you instead. Right through the gut, since you'd heal with your regen powers, but would be terribly inconvenienced until you do so," Malice silently nods thanks to a MalBot as it passes him a big fancy laser gun, which he trains on Krystal's midsection.

"I'd rather we just talk, though. I thought about everything you said. I visited AMEN to see what the sorry state of villainy was these days, did my research, studied everything that was going on...I'm still certain my way is what's best for the world, Krystal. To quote a movie I hate, this town deserves a better class of criminal, and I'm going to give it to them. Others will seek to emulate my path, as they always do. I can guarantee, everything will be so much more fun, now that I'm back."


Ruined League of Ruins - Sidekicks and Stooges

"Hm? Oh, sure. I think it was...this button?" The MalBot presses a button on its tablet computer, and the minefield opens up, the ground parting to reveal a hidden tunnel leading towards the detention center. Better make it quick, kids, the Malbot can't keep that entrance open for long!

[happyturtle]

RLoR

The telepathic presence gone from her mind, Happy turns to face Malice.

"Right. This has gone on long enough!"

"I am challenging YOU to single combat! You want my brain? Then come and get it!"

If this rogue Magtok wants some dramatic good vs evil showdown, then by gods, she'll deliver!

[Morty]

[Ruined League of Ruins - Sidekicks and Stooges]

"What 'e said," Michalson says, motioning to Kal with his staff. He'll promptly enter the passage which just opened.

[FireFox]

[Ruined League of Ruins]

The helicopter will circle the old base, unless attacked, until they are radioed.

[Terumitsu]

Temperance Teahouse

The King nods and waits a few minutes, obviously hoping more would show up, but resigns himself to just the two after a bit before giving a sigh. "Alright, I suppose if any others show up you two can catch them up." He says as he sets his cup of tea aside. "I am King Yadris III, and I'm wanting you to save my daughter from a dragon." The older man starts off, leaning forward onto the table a bit. "I have many sons, but due to a mishap involving a cat, laser pointer, and a disco ball, none of them will be able to give me grandchildren anymore." It sounds like a bad joke, but his serious tone tells them it's anything but. "Because of this, I asked a neighboring kingdom send over an illegitimate child that I had while I was young. I'm a widower and there are legal issues with me marrying again, so I haven't taken a second wife in order to do this a different way, and then there's the issue of the time needed to raise a child from scratch. While they agreed to send the child, they were only halfway to my castle when a dragon destroyed the caravan and took my daughter hostage." He explains before pulling out a couple small photographs to slide them over the table to the two. The picture shows a person with vaguely elfen features with a small nose, flawless ivory complexion, and long wavy golden hair. The picture is only a bust though, and she seems to have a gentle smile. "These are all I have of her. I haven't met her yet so I can't say what she might be wearing. Her name is Brittany."

Temperance Teahouse

"Mind showing that over here?" came a voice from a rather suspiciously shady corner. Or rather, perhaps it was just a regular amount of shadow but the person sitting there had, by action or accident, simply faded into its clutches to be easily overlooked. Regardless, whatever had caused it was now dispelled to reveal a totally bald woman of fit build and garbed decidedly less ornately than the coronated man. Certainly it wasn't the sort of casual one would find on the street, though, as she looked more like she was expecting to go on some kind of expedition sans the gear and pack one would normally expect. The lack of any notable armaments on her might raise an eyebrow but, then again, it might just be that she had checked those in while entering given the nature of the place.

Once she had gotten a satisfactory look at the picture, Ghoul would nod before adding to Spako's question "So what can you tell us about the attack? Any kind of investigation turn up just how it was attacked? What methods the dragon used? Survivors or anything? Hell, is it too far away to get a good look at or has the site been too tromped over by people at this point to get anything useful?" Having encountered a dragon before, one tends to want to know these kinds of things beforehand. "...And pardon if I'm prying here but this could be related: What can you tell us about her mother?" the muse asked. For all anyone knew, the dragon had been handsomely paid by some rival kingdom or duchy or whatever trying to maneuver themselves into power.

[KerfuffleMach2]

Ruined League of Ruins - Captivated

Krystal freezes when Malice points the laser at her. He was right. Shooting her in the stomach wouldn't kill her. But, boy, would it hurt like hell. And it would accomplish nothing.

So, Krystal sighs and relaxes a bit, lowering her weapon. She doesn't let go of it, though.

So...what? You don't like how people are committing crimes, so you decided to show them how? Instead of stopping them? You realize that's kind of nuts, right?