Serious Plots 5: No lulz.

[Devixer]

This thread is for the more Serious Plots in Nexus that people don't think really pertain to the ACROs or Inside. This is also for fairly longer plots, unlike the Random Places thread.

Rules:
1:Use [Location] Tags
2: If need be, use a [Plot] Tag as well.
3: Each [Location/Plot] is under the owner's control.
4: Play nice.
5: Keep the Drama Low. Yes, this is a serious Plot thread, but please, as rule 4 says, play nice. Just because the Plot is supposed to be serious, it doesn't mean you should take everything seriously.

If you think your plot is rather silly, or aren't sure if it's long enough, try the Random Places and Plots thread.

Previous Threads

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Serious Plots
Serious Plots 2 - SERIOUSNESS OVERWHELMING
Serious Plots 3 - Too srs for my shirt
Serious Plots 4 - So Srs it hurts.

[Rebonack]

[Somewhere Awful - Napira]

Well.

Standing there in shock, horror, and revulsion is certainly a thing she can do. But it isn't a particularly useful thing to do. It's pretty darn useless, truth be told. No action is being taken! How does she expect to escape from the awful place by standing around?

Ah well.

Standing or not, Kevin continues. "WOW! YOU'RE SUPER TALL! ARE YOU, LIKE, A WHOLE COMITY OF ORGANS OR SOMETHING? WHO DECIDES WHAT KIND OF JUICE TO HAVE WITH LUNCH?"

That thing sure is loud, isn't it? Kind of makes one wonder how a set of leg bones would drink juice. Or talk. Or... do anything, really.

What does she do?

[Somewhere Awful Tanya]

"W-well... I found a medical book somewhere..." Sharps mutters as he retrieves a PANDIMENSIONAL TOTE BAG from nowhere and begins rummaging through it. He pulls out a large medical tome and sets it down on his bed. Should Tanya take a look at the text, she'll discover that it's a copy of THE POPUP BOOK OF PHOBIAS. The trypanophobia takes several deep breaths, averts his gaze, and opens the book up, causing a large pop-up picture of a huge hypodermic needle wielded by a grotesque looking goblin of a nurse to spring out of it. The writing on the page explains that trypanophobia is- "F-fear of injections," Sharps stammers. "I was kind of afraid of needles before I came here... but it's gotten really bad..."

He quickly shuts the book and dumps it back in his bag. Once again averting his gaze, he gives the end of his tail a flick, causing a long fang of bone to slide out of the limb, the tip dripping noxious looking green fluid. A similar toxic green color begins swirling through him, rapidly replacing the red. "Phobias become what they fear. S-some of them go insane and a-attack people. So I use the popup book to scare them away."

Huh.

That's actually pretty clever.

"I've tried getting out," Sharps sighs. "Look."

He points at one wall of the room, the padded material gouged with dozens, maybe even hundreds of hash marks. "Every time I wake up in here again I make another mark," he explains, his ears drooping. "But... I've been all alone. I haven't seen any other whole people here. The organs never want to try to escape and most of the other phobias and disorders are c-crazy. M-maybe if we work together we can get out?"

What does she do?

[Lost_Deep]

Somewhere Awful - Napira

Napira shakes her head. "...Listen! I don't know where I am, I'm scared, and I want to get out of here. Do you know the way out of here?" Worth a try.

[Ionbound]

[Somewhere Awful Tanya]

Tanya nods and says, "Well, that seems useful. C'mon, let's go." She then stops, considering something, and says, "Actually, wait. Have you searched your room yet? There seems to be useful things around."

[ThirdEmperor]

[Somewhere Awful - Ish]

Ish's breath freezes in his throat as the nasty little buggers begin to pop and dissolve in the acid brine, and only starts again when he's managed to empty the barrel with nothing more than a few drops splattering down his legs, quickly putting it aside and scrambling back, before the slowly spreading pool that slopped over the edges can engulf his toes.

Turning back to the doorway, he tears down a few of the stained medical curtains, using the knife to help cut them down. The plastic rags are bound tight around his shoes and over his left hand for protection before he returns to his task, pushing over the cask now full of acid and little burst eyes fizzing away in the muck.

[Rebonack]

[Somewhere Awful - Napira]

The lower leg bones in a cast just sit there and stare at Napira with their drawn-on face. That smile never falters, probably because it is drawn on. But considering that the thing was moving like some cartoon character a few moments prior who knows how it's actually supposed to work normally?

"WHAT, YOU MEAN LIKE OUT OF MY ROOM?" Kevin replies. Loudly. "OH SURE, THAT'S SUPER EASY! JUST GO BACK THE WAY YOU CAME IF YOU WANT TO TALK WITH THAT DERMOID CYST! BUT HE NEVER TRIES TO TALK WITH ME. JUST LOTS OF BITING!"

It's probably a good thing that Napira avoided that vile looking creature.

"OR YOU COULD GO THROUGH THE NEXT DOOR! THAT'S WHERE THIS AWESOME CUTANEOUS CUBE HANGS OUT! HE SAYS I'M A LOUD MOUTHED IMBECILE! WHAT A KIDDER, AM I RIGHT? THE HALLWAY PAST THE CUBE'S ROOM IS SUPER-SPOOKY, I'VE NEVER BEEN DOWN IT ALL THE WAY."

Wonder what kind of spooky the leg is referring to...

Doubtless not the good kind.

What does she do?

[Somewhere Awful - Tanya]

Sharps' ears perk up. It seems getting his attention off the nurses helps considerably. "Oh yeah, plenty of times! Sometimes new stuff gets dumped in the cupboards. It's weird, though... I'm sure that when I first came here I could reach them really easy. It's a lot harder now..." he mutters staring up at the three cupboards tauntingly out of his reach. "I haven't checked up there since the last time I woke up, so there might be something new," he says as he hops of his bed and digs his fang-like claws into the soft walls before scaling them like a cat up the side of a tree. He hooks his tail around one of the cupboards and yanks it open, revealing a picture of a sad clown.

The phobia makes a low hissing noise at the painting. "I hate these things," he says as he yanks it down and casts it out of the cupboard. Behind is a throw switch much like the one in Tanya's room. "I'll yank this thing, you check the other two cupboards, okay?"

And with that pulls the lever!

There comes a sound of mechanical clanking as a hideous horror painted on the wall opposite of the giant clown painting splits apart at the mouth, one section retracting into the floor and the other into the ceiling to reveal a new room beyond.

What does she do?

[Somewhere Awful - Ish]

For the record, it was more like pouring salt on slugs than anything else. The brine actually isn't harmful. Might sting a bit if it gets in a cut, though. Anywho! The barrel of eyes and pickles is shoved off its base, revealing a recessed alcove that was hidden below it with a throw-switch inside. How mysterious!

What does he do?

[Lost_Deep]

Somewhere Awful - Napira

Napira does not facepalm, but wants to. "Do you know what this place is? More than just your room. This whole place." She can hope...

[ThirdEmperor]

[Somewhere Awful - Ish]

Hells, he doesn't know. Nobody ever told him if eyeballs exploding in vinegar was some normal thing eyeballs do, and not a sign the barrel's full of horrible acid that will eat the flesh right off his bones. Who would tell him that?

Leaning down, Ish grabs the switch with his covered hand and throws it, making a silent little promise to himself as he does. Even if this is another sick joke, he won't lose his cool. Not this time.

[Rebonack]

[Somewhere Awful - Napira]

"Oh, haha! Of course I do, buddy! This is the Hospital! I hear this guy called the HMO is in charge of everything here!" Kevin replies, just as loudly as before, but typing in all caps is really annoying.

Well.

He actually answered her question this time.

What does she do?

[Somewhere Awful - Ish]

The a clacking sound of straining gears, the section of the wall with the sad clown painting on it sinks into the floor, revealing another room beyond! Cool air comes flowing out of the chamber along with the sound of a humming refrigeration unit. Within is room filled with frozen stuff! Meats, vegetables, fruits, ready made microwave dinners, blood packets, a cave-man frozen in a block of ice. You know, the usual things. In the south-east corner of the room another door can be seen. It looks like the sort one would expect to see on a walk-in freezer.

What does he do?

[Lost_Deep]

Somewhere Awful - Napira

"Do you know how to get out of the hospital?" Napira asks, hope in her voice. Please know a way out...

[Rebonack]

[Somewhere Awful - Napira]

The face drawn on the cast quirks to the side a bit, probably to denote confusion. "What do you mean outta the Hospital!? There's Nothing outside the Hospital, buddy!"

Well.

That isn't very encouraging.

What does she do?

[Ionbound]

[Somewhere Awful - Tanya]

Tanya nods and says, "I think the surgeries shrunk you. Let me see..." She opens the other two cupboards, looking for useful materials that might be there.

[ThirdEmperor]

[Somewhere Awful - Ish]

Huh.

Ish almost starts for the door on the far end of the cold room, just to get away from the ground full of burst-open eyes and the shadow of the cystman moving past the bubble window. But no. More things to examine. More paths to follow.

He empties out the last barrel now, adding strips of salty pork fat to the disgusting stew on the floor. Then, unless something's hiding at the bottom of the barrel, he'll head for the other room hidden behind a medical curtain.

[Rebonack]

[Somewhere Awful - Tanya]

"Huh... I think you're right..." Sharps mutters. "I'm sure I used to be at least twice as tall as I am now."

In one of the cupboards are several rolls of MEDICAL GAUZE! That stuff is really useful if you need to bind a wound or look like a mummy. Thankfully it appears to be clean rather than smeared with pus and dried blood. The second cupboard is has a box of medical face masks and a bottle of peppermint oil.

"What did you find in there?" Sharps asks as he grips the edge of the cupboard he's inside of and peeks around into the one full of- "Holy cats! Medical gauze! These are almost as good as bandaids. We've got to take some of this stuff with us."

...why would medical gauze be worse than bandaids?

Probably some sort of insane game-logic. Or maybe the phobia is just gradually going insane.

What does she do?

[Somewhere Awful - Ish]

There's nothing hidden at the bottom of the barrel that's useful. Unless Ish considers head-cheese to be useful? 'cuz there's a head-cheese'd pig head down there at the bottom. There also aren't any mysterious notes or switches under the pork-barrel. Not even a trace of fiscal irresponsibility!

Then Ish goes through the medical curtain, the rancid stench growing stronger the closer he gets. When he throws back the curtain he may wish that he hadn't. Inside the smallish room is a huge mass of lipoma, a giant tumor made of fat cells. A vague outline of a skeleton can be seen inside the bloated horror. Aside from the the unbearable odor and the stagnant fluids caked on the floor there's also a chute that a chunk of meatloaf comes sliding out of every minute or so. The hunk of meat is seized by a pseudopod and phagocitized by the repulsive yellow blob. The room is otherwise similar to the one Ish had woken up inside, though with the notable difference of having a set of drawers and cabinets on the other side of the room. Getting to them would require getting past the bloated horror, however.

What does he do?

[ThirdEmperor]

[Somewhere Awful - Ish]

Sick.

The demon can't bring himself to watch as the thing gobbling up the processed loaves of meat coming down the tube. The sounds of it slurping down it's meal are sickening enough, and Ish backs away quickly, as quickly as he can without making too much noise.

He heads back to the cold room, grabbing a long string of stuffed sausages from among the frozen meats on the shelf. Then, unrolling them, he makes a trail back to the mess of bacon and brine on the floor, throwing the other end of the string through the curtain. Look at that, what a nice surprise for a disgusting little medical monstrosity. Ish plants his foot in the middle of the path, to keep the thing from dragging all the food back into it's den. It's going to come out here if it wants to eat.

[Rebonack]

[Somewhere Awful - Ish]

Oh boy, sausage links!

With an awful squelching noise, the bloated horror begins dragging its malodorous bulk across the floor, leaving a trail behind it that looks and smells like rancid butter. The disgusting thing is hovering up the sausages and slowly getting closer to Ish!

What does he do?

[ThirdEmperor]

[Somewhere Awful - Ish]

Ish waits, for as long as he dares. As soon as the creature's close enough he slips back into the alcove, the one leading back into the kitchen room he woke up in. Hopefully the thing goes to gorge on all that nice fatty bacon, and when it does, he intends to slip past towards the room it was occupying. Easy. He only needs to keep his head on straight and this will be easy.

[Rebonack]

[Somewhere Awful - Ish]

While the lard-cancer monster is busy gorging itself on bacon (what a sad, sad waste of bacon) Ish slips into the vile thing's room to have a look around. He had best be careful, though. That rancid grease the horror left on the floor is as slippery as it is smelly. And that stuff is super smelly.

Assuming he doesn't pratfall like a complete idiot, Ish will find himself back in the horror's room rummaging through the drawers and cabinets. Most of them appear to be full of cans of creamed corn for some perverse reason, however one in particular may prove valuable.

A key.

One of those big, fancy, fantasy looking keys made of brass.

This one has a clown head on the handle.

Of course.

Ish had best get out of there quick before the bloated horror returns.

What does he do?

[ThirdEmperor]

[Somewhere Awful - Ish]

Of course. He stuffs the key into the same pocket where he stowed the plaque, and turns back to the hallway.

That rancid creature isn't already done with snacktime and on it's way back for lunch, is it?

Assuming it's still safely occupied with it's bacon treats, he'll creep down the hallway and slink into his alcove to wait for it to finish.

[Rebonack]

[Somewhere Awful - Ish]

The heap of lard isn't just eating the bacon. It's also eating the pickles, the spEYEders, and slurping up the pickle juice. At least it isn't eating the barrels, too. Once it finishes its meal, the bloated horror will creep back into its room, following the scent of meatloaf.

Looks like Ish's plan was successful!

He found something important without getting eaten by a crawling fat tumor! And that's just wonderful.

The only downside to the plan?

Now the hallway smells like rancid butter, too.

Ah well.

Can't win them all.

What does he do?

[Ionbound]

[Somewhere Awful - Tanya]

Tanya nods and says, "Cool. That'll probably come in handy at some point." She then looks at the pepperment oil and face masks as she says, "Oh, awesome. If you're anything to go by, no doubt we're going to run into something peppermint oil will be useful for. And if the masks are clean, they'll probably be helpful too." She looks at the facemasks, trying to determine whether or not they can be worn safely, at the same time pocketing the peppermint oil.

[Rebonack]

[Somewhere Awful - Tanya]

"That'll be a lot of stuff to carry with just your arms, do you have a tote bag yet?" Sharps asks curiously from his perch inside the cupboard. "If you don't, it should be pretty easy to get one. One comes for free with your first vending machine purchase! And we both really lucked out, there's a vending machine right next to my room."

That's probably why Sharps has lasted as long as he has, honestly. He got a leg up on trying to escape due to access to useful stuff and never gave up hope. He was getting pretty close when Tanya came in, but her presence has rekindled his desire to escape from the Hospital.

It's when you resign to your fate that you become well and truly trapped.

The face masks are those cotton and synthetic fiber things with elastic bands to cover up ones nose and mouth. Very nice if you don't feel like breathing in disgusting things that will eat your lungs.

Sharps hops out of the cupboard, landing deftly on the floor. The little creature moves oddly, almost like a raccoon trying to walk on his hind legs. For how silly it appears he seems to be pretty agile and quick. He points through the secret door that just opened.

"That's some kind of waiting room in there, then another patient's room. Then a n-nurse's station," he stammers. "I-I haven't been able to get past the nurses without freezing up. Just seeing them sends me into a panic attack."

And that's awful.

What does she do?

[Ionbound]

[Somewhere Awful - Tanya]

Tanya nods, putting a facemask on herself as she listens to Noface, then nods and says, "Yeah, a bag would be nice. Here, take one of these masks if you can." She offers another to Noface, and continues, "It's nice to be protected from any airborne agents."

She then winces and says, "So...The nurses are what, made of needles? That...Explains a lot, actually...I think one of them got me when I first came in here."

[Rebonack]

[Somewhere Awful - Tanya]

Sharps, somewhat hesitantly, takes the face mask in his little paws and stares at it. His weird bone mask/face doesn't look like it would really allow a mask to be put on. "I know I used to be able to wear these..." he mutters. "But they don't fit anymore." He wishes his memories weren't so hazy. At this point he can't really remember what life was like outside of the Hospital, just that, in the past, he wasn't here. And the only reason he remembers that is because of his stubborn insistence on trying to escape.

Something beyond the Hospital isn't even a place to him. Not anymore. It's a goal. A goal that had been slowly eroding thanks to the constant insistence by other patients that there is nothing beyond the Hospital. Thank God Tanya showed up to remind him that he wasn't just chasing a dream. She is proof that there's somewhere to escape to.

And that makes him feel just a little bit better.

Just a little bit less fearful.

He hands the mask back to Tanya. "You hang onto it. This thing won't do me any good anymore. C'mon! Lets get moving before one of the nurses shows up to give us 'medication'," he says, making little finger quotes with his paws as he scampers into the next room over.

It looks...

Surprisingly normal.

Like a normal waiting room.

There are a bunch of plastic chairs, one comfortable couch, a coffee table, a bookshelf full of magazines, and even a few potted plants with large googly eyes attached to the pots. Most importantly, though, is the vending machine! It looks absolutely horrifying, a hulking thing of flesh and bone and teeth with a transparent membrane in place of glass. A single large goat-like eye watches the interlopers passively. A small mouth stained with blood looks like it's where one is supposed to deposit payment. Within the horror is an array of items that may or may not be useful. Various types of medication, some all natural gmo free anti-vaccination pills, face masks, replacement scalpel blades, medical gauze, band-aids, candy bars, bottles of purified water, bottles of contaminated water, empty blood packets, all sorts of neat stuff!

Considering that Sharps doesn't react to the machine with fear, it probably isn't a threat. "Y-yeah. The nurses are made of needles and stuff. J-just leave it at that, okay?" he requests, obviously agitated just thinking about it.

What does she do?

[Somewhere Awful - Will]

When Will wakes up he is most certainly not in his room. Oh no, certainly not. He awakens in a bed. A hospital bed. Which appears to be in a hospital of some kind, judging from the pervasive hospital smell. The walls are padded and decorated with happy meadow scenes filled with horrors that cause one's stomach to turn, their smiling faces and bright pastel colors making them all the worse. Several cupboards have been set up, though they appear to have been fixed high enough to make them difficult to reach for children. A TV is set in one corner of the room, loudly playing episodes of I Love Lucy. There doesn't appear to be any way to turn the thing off. A medical curtain on the north side of the room separates it from... whatever is on the other side of the curtain that's causing a cool breeze to come wafting under the flimsy, stained, ripped bit of filthy cloth. One the west wall of the room is a large window protected by padded bars. The window, oddly enough, looks more like the kind you would expect to find on a ship rather than in a building.

For whatever strange reason an L-shaped tire iron still attached to a tire is sitting in the middle of the floor.

A clip board is hanging on the end of his bed. Should he read the thing, he'll discover why he's apparently in a hospital! According to the board his name is PRECIPICE, his species is ANXIETY DISORDER, and his race ACROPHOBIA. At the very least, it got his sex, MALE, correct. He's being held in the Hospital due to crippling NARCOLEPSY, for which the doctors have prescribed LOUD RERUNS of I LOVE LUCY and regular HOMEOPATHIC WAKEFULNESS INJECTIONS.

What does he do?

[Deathkeeper]

[Somewhere Awful- Will]

Will groans and shakes the grogginess from his head. "Sitka?" he mumbles out loud, but it's pretty clear that his "friend" is not currently here. Mostly because there's little chance that there's anyone he knows here.
Where the hell is he?
Will swears, but at least he isn't restrained, and he seems to be in one piece. He ignores the television. He's never really been a TV person himself. With a groan he reaches for the clipboard that he spies, which only makes him groan more. "Pretty sure most of these things are not the kind of things that should be on these lines." he says. And he's completely ignoring the diagnosis. After all, ending up on one long dream adventure does not mean narcolepsy, it means he fell asleep once! He doesn't know what Homeopathic means, but he doesn't want to find out.

He gets out of the bed, already annoyed by his distinct lack of shoes and normal clothes. He tries to summon some up like he did in the dream, but it doesn't function here. Ugh, what a shame. Will goes over to the window, not sure what else to do.

[Ionbound]

[Somewhere Awful - Tanya]

Tanya nods as she pockets the remaining mask (nice to have a spare), and then looks at the vending machine as she sighs and says, "Let me guess. It accepts blood as payment, right? Jeez...I wish I still had a healing factor. This is going to be a bit of a bitch, then." She doesn't insert an arm yet, though, waiting on Sharps' response.

[Lost_Deep]

[Somewhere Awful - Napira]

The face drawn on the cast quirks to the side a bit, probably to denote confusion. "What do you mean outta the Hospital!? There's Nothing outside the Hospital, buddy!"

Well.

That isn't very encouraging.

What does she do?

She sighs, and looks around the room again. "Yes there is, and I'm going to get back there." She's willing to rob this cast blind if she has to. She is going to get out.

[Rebonack]

[Somewhere Awful - Will]

Will looks out the window.

There's Nothing out there.

No, not just an empty white expanse. Not a black morass of creeping darkness filled with blasphemous terrors floundering in the infinite nighted abyss. Not even the simple ever reaching void of space. Any of those things would be something. This is Nothing. There is Nothing outside that window. And the sight may prove to be both jarring and deeply unsettling as Will's mind tries and fails to comprehend it.

What does he do?

[Somewhere Awful - Tanya]

Rebo forgot to mention that the waiting room has a bathroom, too. Like... there's a bathroom. Right there in the middle of it. A sink and a toilet, really. It doesn't afford any privacy. At all. The toilet is kinda on the small side, probably to fit the child-like proportions of creatures like Sharps. There's also a little step-stool for climbing up to the sink.

The step stool, of course, looks like a clown head.

"Yeah, the vending machines take payment in milliliters of blood," Sharps confirms with a nod. "And you want to put blood into a blood bag and feed it that way. The first time I just stuck my arm in there and... umm... that turned out to be a bad idea."

It chewed his arm off. And then exsanguinated him.

That was the first time he died. Stupid thing didn't even remember that he had paid it all his blood the next time.

"I have a few empty blood-packs. I could... umm... draw some blood... if you want?" Sharps offers hesitantly, flicking out the bone needle on the end of his tail. This time the bulb at the base of the spike is empty rather than filled with toxic green fluid. "You shouldn't draw more than one bag worth, though. That's five hundred milliliters. Otherwise you start getting really woozy."

What does she do?

[Somewhere Awful - Napira]

The room looks exactly like it did the first time she looked around it. It looks pretty much exactly like her room did. Same layout, same objects. Just a leg in the bed and a really obvious door to the west. Said door looks like it was taken out of a submarine. Big, heavy metal thing with a wheel in the middle.

"Nah, that's crazy talk buddy! The Hospital is all there is! OH HEY! Do you like nachos?!" Kevin replies excitedly.

[Deathkeeper]

Somewhere Awful- Will

Will responds the only rational way possible, because his mind can't comprehend it.
"Huh. Must be blocked or something. " he says idly, and goes over to the tire iron to see if he can't pick it up before going through the cabinets.

[Ionbound]

[Somewhere Awful - Tanya]

Tanya sighs and says, "It's not like I have a better option. Stupid idiot surgeons and their idiot ideas of what makes a parasite." She sticks out her arm and says, "Go ahead."