LGBTAI+ Questions and Discussion thread II: Make It Double

[SowZ]

I bet you know lots of things we don't. I, for example, am the only person alive who knows the secret recipe for a Jalapeno Berry Bomb, and none of you folks know what my ex looks like naked. I don't think, anyway. I'd be very surprised.

I have a general idea.

[golentan]

I have a general idea.

Hahahaha. No.

[SowZ]

Hahahaha. No.

Ehh, genitalia all looks roughly the same to me. (:

[Anarion]

Golentan was a bit more forward (), but I'll PM the couple other people that asked here as well.

[golentan]

Golentan was a bit more forward (), but I'll PM the couple other people that asked here as well.

Aww, man, can't I be woefully backwards? Anyway, yeah, I now know Anarion's terrible secret... Also, his unterrible kink. He told me the latter, the former I got from the FBI. I think they were talking about Anarion, honestly I just opened up to the most wanted list and looked for someone I thought looked like my mental image of him. In hindsight, Anarion probably doesn't have any secret that terrible and it probably wasn't him.

[SowZ]

Aww, man, can't I be woefully backwards? Anyway, yeah, I now know Anarion's terrible secret... Also, his unterrible kink. He told me the latter, the former I got from the FBI. I think they were talking about Anarion, honestly I just opened up to the most wanted list and looked for someone I thought looked like my mental image of him. In hindsight, Anarion probably doesn't have any secret that terrible and it probably wasn't him.

Is this the part where we take turns talking about our respective arrest records?

[golentan]

Is this the part where we take turns talking about our respective arrest records?

Please no, I'd rather not admit what's probably on my record...

[SowZ]

Please no, I'd rather not admit what's probably on my record...

Fair enough. And it's probably better for my rebel without a cause image that I leave my arrest warrants mysterious, as the moment people learn what lame things they were for the first thing they say is, "Oh, that's a lot less BA than I was imagining."

[Anarion]

Aww, man, can't I be woefully backwards? Anyway, yeah, I now know Anarion's terrible secret... Also, his unterrible kink. He told me the latter, the former I got from the FBI. I think they were talking about Anarion, honestly I just opened up to the most wanted list and looked for someone I thought looked like my mental image of him. In hindsight, Anarion probably doesn't have any secret that terrible and it probably wasn't him.

All the good searches I did for nuclear power plants designs and types of plutonium probably aren't helping me out here.

[SiuiS]

Hahahaha. No.

So... Less than six limbs, then? I'm surprised, I thought I knew this one.

Aww, man, can't I be woefully backwards? Anyway, yeah, I now know Anarion's terrible secret... Also, his unterrible kink. He told me the latter, the former I got from the FBI. I think they were talking about Anarion, honestly I just opened up to the most wanted list and looked for someone I thought looked like my mental image of him. In hindsight, Anarion probably doesn't have any secret that terrible and it probably wasn't him.

I dunno... It's always the unassuming ones.

Please no, I'd rather not admit what's probably on my record...

There is that. <_<
It was sealed for a reason! Let's leave it that way!

All the good searches I did for nuclear power plants designs and types of plutonium probably aren't helping me out here.

Aye, google has probably painted an ill picture of me. I can only hope my pseudo transience means it's not all connected to me, unless they retroactively com...

...

...I'm not finishing that thought in digital.

[Castaras]

How many people were able to sort out their orientation/identities without experimentation or having someone suggest it?

Might not help for you or those who are asexual, but when I was unsure if I was attracted to men, women, or both I spent time imagining myself with both genders. I found that women had a feeling of "huh, that's interesting" and men a feeling of "awwwwww yis", which confirmed it for me.

[Coidzor]

I'm weirdly pleased that I know something you guys don't

I worked it out, as much as I have, on my own, including that I don't really care to have any definite definitions for myself. I knew in grade 6 that I wasn't gay and didn't really get "girly" things. Otherwise I've never really been under pressure to be one thing or another or to find a box to sit in. I am what I am, I like what I like, and aside from casual interest and practical considerations that's pretty much good enough for me, and always has been.

There just comes a time in every person's life where they have to decide whether they're going to abide by the heaping shovelfull of homophobia that got dumped on them from birth and childhood or if they'll at least try to shake it off. For some of us the choice is more... noticeable and poignant than others. For lack of a better way to put it coming to mind, anyway.

Ehh, genitalia all looks roughly the same to me. (:

That must be interesting.

All the good searches I did for nuclear power plants designs and types of plutonium probably aren't helping me out here.

Headcanon accepted, Anarion has a fetish for efficient power generation schemes.

[SowZ]

There just comes a time in every person's life where they have to decide whether they're going to abide by the heaping shovelfull of homophobia that got dumped on them from birth and childhood or if they'll at least try to shake it off. For some of us the choice is more... noticeable and poignant than others. For lack of a better way to put it coming to mind, anyway.



That must be interesting.



Headcanon accepted, Anarion has a fetish for efficient power generation schemes.

I should clarify. I'm talking about comparing two bits of the same kind. Clearly, male and female looks different.

[Anarion]

Headcanon accepted, Anarion has a fetish for efficient power generation schemes.

There's a reason the good ones are called breeder reactors.

[golentan]

I should clarify. I'm talking about comparing two bits of the same kind. Clearly, male and female looks different.

See? Told you you had no idea.

[Shadowscale]

I should clarify. I'm talking about comparing two bits of the same kind. Clearly, male and female looks different.

They do? I would of never thought, Barbie lied to me.

[golentan]

They do? I would of never thought, Barbie lied to me.

Barbie lied to all of us. She lied to all of us...

[Shadowscale]

Barbie lied to all of us. She lied to all of us...

I like pokemon. They usually look the same too.

[SiuiS]

Headcanon accepted, Anarion has a fetish for efficient power generation schemes.

I know that's bull, or my discussions of Thyrsus spirit arcanum mana generation through fractal tithing would have recieved much less resistance.

There's a reason the good ones are called breeder reactors.

Zing!

Barbie lied to all of us. She lied to all of us...

Real talk: you promised spoke of romance novel sci-if love between a six armed and or ten limbed insectoid female and a human or human-enough female on a space ship in deep transit and I'm still waiting! You don't want me to write it myself, I suck at that. Besides, I already have to write a trashy MLP bodice ripper first.

[golentan]

Yeah, but I have tons of novel ideas that almost never make it past the first chapter.

[SiuiS]

Yeah, but I have tons of novel ideas that almost never make it past the first chapter.

Oh, that's fair. I suppose writing good smut requires enough syatability in what feels good at the time to get through a few drafts

Still, hey. I'm interested enough solely in your understanding of the biologies and physical mechanics involved that I'll proposition you for vignettes of whatever seems writable at the time. Disjointed scenes and interesting unfleshed (of a sort <_<) concepts are good enough for me~

Ooh. Hmm. Maybe... Nah. That would never pass muster with Braz. I'll have to ply the idea later anyway though. I would say set up a trashy writing Facebook group but I don't know how to Facebook or to group...

[Serpentine]

There just comes a time in every person's life where they have to decide whether they're going to abide by the heaping shovelfull of homophobia that got dumped on them from birth and childhood or if they'll at least try to shake it off. For some of us the choice is more... noticeable and poignant than others. For lack of a better way to put it coming to mind, anyway.

I never even really had that, particularly. Certainly not from my immediate family. I remember being slightly amused when my dad's gay work colleague hesitated before saying "my... partner" when talking about his boyfriend, like he worried that I'd freak out if I knew he was dating a dude, and my moment of clarity that I wasn't gay was when I was watching the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras on TV. In fact, it was more of an "if I'm not gay, then what am I?" moment, since I thought it was really weird that all my 10 year old peers were dating and kissing already. I didn't have anything to "abide by", nor all that much to shovel through; I started from a neutral state of "so what am I?" and worked it out from there.
Similarly, apparently most of my eldest nephew's friends are bi (though there are some he thinks will eventually pick a side, and others he's pretty sure have it figured out). I think he knows his mum's bi. If there's any pressure on him, I think it's to be bi. But, seemingly after careful consideration, he's decided that he's almost certainly straight.
I like this way best, giving all the options equal weight of consideration and then working out what terms suit you from a neutral position, rather starting from a hetero-gendernormative assumption and breaking out of it when that doesn't suit.

[noparlpf]

I like pokemon. They usually look the same too.

This page may interest you, then.

In particular, check out Unfezant, Pyroar, Meowstic, Hippowdon, Nidoran, and especially Wobbuffet.

[Chambers]

How many people were able to sort out their orientation/identities without experimentation or having someone suggest it?

I'm a hetero cissexual male and I was always attracted to women, and all my sexual experiences have been with women. That said, during puberty (basically all my teenage years and early twenties) I had doubts that I might be gay. Details in spoiler, Trigger Warning for sexual abuse (though no graphic details).

Spoiler

Show

I never acted on these thoughts and did my best to ignore them, but during puberty they were not infrequent. I say "during puberty" because I've come to understand/rationalize these thoughts as coming from two things: A self-diagnosed, mild version of Pure OCD and a series of sexual abuses that happened when I was a child (involving two males; the abuse was perpetrated by my friends older brother, both my friend and I were the targets).

For me, Pure OCD means sexual thoughts about women, pretty much all the time. I'm thankful that it's non-violent as I've read enough horror stories of serious cases of Pure OCD to keep me up at night. Another unrelated factor of the Pure OCD are thoughts of self-harm, like "Oh, I should jump over this railing and plummet 5 stories."

Sometimes the sexual thoughts are about men, and I've attributed this to the abuse mentioned earlier. When I have these sexual thoughts (about men and women), there's rarely any pleasure associated with the thought, i.e. I'm not lusting over people, there's just an impulse to perform sexual acts for their own nature. I'm not physically attracted or interested in a romantic relationship to the people (men and women) in these thoughts, so that was difficult for me to parse during puberty.

I liked women and desired women and at the time I counted the sexual thoughts about women as normal for puberty, but the sexual thoughts of men really confused me. Putting it in the perspective of Pure OCD and abuse helped me understand why I was having these thoughts.

That said, sometimes I did try to imagine myself in a homosexual relationship. If I'm having these thoughts, that means I'm gay, right? (said my teenage self to himself). Whenever I thought it out, the idea of being in a homosexual relationship didn't upset or bother me on the face of it, but I never found myself desiring such a relationship. It was never something that I felt like I needed or really wanted, but something I guessed I had to consider because of these thoughts.

So, that's a short summary of me sorting out my orientation/identity.

Edit: After some thought, I realized that it's possible to interpret this story as saying 'sexual abuse causes gay thoughts'. To be clear, that isn't my intention nor my belief. I mention the abuse because for me it's my only sexual experience with males, so I figured that was the reference point for the sexual thoughts of men. I'm in no way advocating that homosexuality, or any kind of sexuality, is born from abuse. Apologies for not making this clear from the start.

[Anarion]

I know that's bull, or my discussions of Thyrsus spirit arcanum mana generation through fractal tithing would have recieved much less resistance.

I laughed way too hard at this. I'm a sucker for references nobody is going to understand.

Zing!

I have used up all my wit for 2014. Luckily, it's a new year. Happy new year everyone!

I never even really had that, particularly. Certainly not from my immediate family. I remember being slightly amused when my dad's gay work colleague hesitated before saying "my... partner" when talking about his boyfriend, like he worried that I'd freak out if I knew he was dating a dude, and my moment of clarity that I wasn't gay was when I was watching the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras on TV. In fact, it was more of an "if I'm not gay, then what am I?" moment, since I thought it was really weird that all my 10 year old peers were dating and kissing already. I didn't have anything to "abide by", nor all that much to shovel through; I started from a neutral state of "so what am I?" and worked it out from there.
Similarly, apparently most of my eldest nephew's friends are bi (though there are some he thinks will eventually pick a side, and others he's pretty sure have it figured out). I think he knows his mum's bi. If there's any pressure on him, I think it's to be bi. But, seemingly after careful consideration, he's decided that he's almost certainly straight.
I like this way best, giving all the options equal weight of consideration and then working out what terms suit you from a neutral position, rather starting from a hetero-gendernormative assumption and breaking out of it when that doesn't suit.

I've had an interesting experience with this. My parents espoused the same sort of philosophy that Serpentine outlines here and I grew up feeling comfortable with whatever sexuality I'd end up with. I think they were actually prepared to have a son who was gay or straight though because things did not go as well when we discussed my actual sexuality.

I did end up discussing my sexuality with them, however, and while they claimed to support me in anything, it's been a somewhat frustrating experience. Not so much the fetish part, which they were like "yeah whatever works for you," but they basically denied and continue to deny that one can be asexual. The first three conversations were all "you haven't met the right person, it's a phase." And when I finally insisted that if I've made it through more than a quarter century without feeling physical attraction to anyone, it might not be a phase, they switched to telling me this will prevent me from finding a partner or being happy. It wound up in a conversation where I basically told them I wasn't interested in changing and if they wanted to claim to support me, they needed to stop telling me that who I am was going to mess up my life. They agreed, and now we just don't talk about it.

This page may interest you, then.

In particular, check out Unfezant, Pyroar, Meowstic, Hippowdon, Nidoran, and especially Wobbuffet.

I'm really amused by the fact that fairy is the only type with no gender differences. I wonder if that was intentional on Nintendo's part.

[noparlpf]

I'm really amused by the fact that fairy is the only type with no gender differences. I wonder if that was intentional on Nintendo's part.

It's also the newest type, so there aren't very many examples of Fairy Pokémon yet.

Also, only two 6th-gen Pokémon have any sexual dimorphism, and both exhibit very overt gender differences, so I'm gonna conclude that Game Freak was feeling a bit lazy about drawing the new Pokémon designs.

[Coidzor]

II like this way best, giving all the options equal weight of consideration and then working out what terms suit you from a neutral position, rather starting from a hetero-gendernormative assumption and breaking out of it when that doesn't suit.

...I wasn't endorsing the way of doing things that I've experienced and that seems to have been the experience of the majority of my cohort/peer-group.

Edit: I certainly agree that people having the ability to explore and grow into their sexuality or asexuality freely or as freely as possible is for the better. I think I'm misreading you here somehow, but I can't quite place my finger on how, sorry. I should not try to think on New Year's Day.

[Shadowscale]

This page may interest you, then.

In particular, check out Unfezant, Pyroar, Meowstic, Hippowdon, Nidoran, and especially Wobbuffet.

I have a female unfezant named Brenda, she's my favorite bird ever.

[SiuiS]

I laughed way too hard at this. I'm a sucker for references nobody is going to understand.

You're in luck! I'm not capable of much else!

I'm really amused by the fact that fairy is the only type with no gender differences. I wonder if that was intentional on Nintendo's part.

My thoughts exactly!

[golentan]

I have a female unfezant named Brenda, she's my favorite bird ever.

My favorite bird is a character from a book who falls in love with a human who she's doing research on...