LGBTAI+ #56: Prismatic Spray!

[Athedia]

But I paid 727 USD for those three weeks. I would like to think that gives me the right to be pedantic. I'm serious. How much should I've paid for the room to have been able to reserve a right to expect a great experience where the owner made sure that I'm happy and welcomed?

Money matters.

That doesn't sound much. Just looking at cheaper hotels in my area (2 star ish) that pays for a little under 3 weeks. And none of those offer outstanding views. From my understanding you not feeling happy and welcoming had as much to do with how you reacted to them as anything else.

[BladeofObliviom]

But I paid 727 USD for those three weeks. I would like to think that gives me the right to be pedantic. I'm serious. How much should I've paid for the room to have been able to reserve a right to expect a great experience where the owner made sure that I'm happy and welcomed?

Money matters.

I do actually have sort of a question about this. I was diagnosed years ago with Aspergers Syndrome, and have a lot of experience with feeling uninvited, unwelcome, or otherwise unaddressed. Many times I have found that I was not excluded out of malice, however, but because nobody else knew I was interested and I failed to communicate that effectively. They didn't think they were snubbing me by not inviting me to things; they thought I was a loner and that they were doing me a favor by not disturbing me with invitations I wouldn't be interested in anyway.

So my question is this, and I apologize if it comes across the wrong way (as I have said, I am bad at people-ing sometimes): Did you actually approach your host and ask to be included in things, or did you sit on the sidelines and resent that nobody addressed you directly? Were you actively shunned, or were you simply out of focus? Did you make your expectations clear, or did you quietly stew while everyone around you quietly wondered what was wrong but didn't want to interfere in your personal business?

[noparlpf]

But I paid 727 USD for those three weeks. I would like to think that gives me the right to be pedantic. I'm serious. How much should I've paid for the room to have been able to reserve a right to expect a great experience where the owner made sure that I'm happy and welcomed?

Money matters.

$35/night with meals is cheap for three weeks. Most motels around me charge more like $70-100/night without meals.

I also agree that a large part of why you didn't feel happy and welcomed is because you convinced yourself early on that you weren't part of the "in group" and left yourself out.

[Anarion]

But I paid 727 USD for those three weeks. I would like to think that gives me the right to be pedantic. I'm serious. How much should I've paid for the room to have been able to reserve a right to expect a great experience where the owner made sure that I'm happy and welcomed?

Money matters.

That's not actually much money. Motel 6 (a very cheap chain motel in the US, for the international readers) would charge $1260 for the same length of time, and all they give you is a hard bed and a TV.

That aside, you paid for a space to live for a period of time and received it. From your description, the space was clean and well kept, you were left alone when desired, and you were free to come and go as you pleased. That sounds like exactly the service that you paid for. The fact that the owner had other guests to whom he was more friendly than you might be worth noting in a review of your experience, but the sexuality of those guests is entirely irrelevant to that criticism.

I would also point out, in general, that one good way to try and combat unconscious biases that we all may have is to do a review of facts and to phrase commentary and criticism in terms of those facts. For example, in this case you were uncomfortable and felt excluded. That's a true fact, you are the authority about how you felt and it's completely fair to share that in a review. But writing that that the cause of your discomfort was the sexual orientation of the others present either
1) Is an unsupported guess on your part or
2) demonstrates that you are uncomfortable with homosexual people no matter how they act.

The former is negligent and likely offensive, the latter demonstrates prejudice.

This comes up in other contexts too. For example, one of the things they've tested in employee reviews at companies is looking at descriptive words. So, if you have an employee who is noted as often speaking for a long time to defend their project and the employee name is male, managers will say the employee is "passionate" or an "ardent advocate for his work" whereas if the name is female, managers say the employee is "overly emotional" or "defensive." Advice these days is to just write "this person often speaks extensively to defend their projects" and then note if you feel that was a good use of time or not and how to improve.

[Dr TPK]

So my question is this, and I apologize if it comes across the wrong way (as I have said, I am bad at people-ing sometimes): Did you actually approach your host and ask to be included in things, or did you sit on the sidelines and resent that nobody addressed you directly? Were you actively shunned, or were you simply out of focus? Did you make your expectations clear, or did you quietly stew while everyone around you quietly wondered what was wrong but didn't want to interfere in your personal business?

Well, whenever I tried to speak, the owner and his friends would barely listen to me, but they engaged in long conversations and I wasn't able to really participate in them because I usually arrived in the middle of the conversations and I couldn't keep up.

I felt that the owner and the other guests were pretty passive aggressive (One of them was almost nice and once spoke nicely with me when his Great Pals weren't there (note the emphasis)). Passive aggressiveness was one of the first things that I said in my review when I started to criticize things. I hate passive aggressiveness and I guess that makes me think very badly about a person (including appearance, habits, sexuality etc.).

So in my view, which you can freely contest, I felt that these were bad people, and I saw everything about them in a negative light because that, including the fact that their sexual orientation was presumably different than mine.

[Lentrax]

It sounds like it was just bad all over. You had some issues with them, they likely had some issues with you. I am sure there were things everywhere in this situation that just made it unpleasant for everyone.

My advice? Take it as a learning experience, and maybe in the future when using a service, especially one offering lodging like airbnb, you should discuss the environment with the potential host. This should hopefully help to avoid situations like this in the future.

[Anarion]

I felt that these were bad people, and I saw everything about them in a negative light because that, including the fact that their sexual orientation was presumably different than mine.

You're indicating here that you're conscious enough about your own thought processes to be aware that you see everything about a person negatively if they act rudely toward you.

PLEASE DON'T DO THIS.

My apologies for shouting, but this is important. If you're aware enough to know you do it, you're aware enough to catch yourself and stop it. A rude person is bad because that person is rude. One person does not represent their entire sexual orientation, gender, race, religion, culture, or level of wealth (among other things). The fact that this one guy and his buddies were not nice says NOTHING about all homosexual people.

[Thufir]

So, a glance at my facebook just reminded me that for the second year running my local gay pride event was on the same weekend as the UK summer meetup, forcing me to miss it. Which, I mean, between gay pride with a bunch of people I mostly wouldn't know and a forum meetup with soem very good friends, no contest, but it does bug me that the timing has just worked out that way twice in a row.

[Grytorm]

Parents not home so I got to wear my skirt today. Probably a poor idea to have taken the opportunity to eat 30 oreos.

[Miraqariftsky]

@To Whom It May Concern: Hugs to those who need or want 'em. Tea and popsicles to those who don't like getting too close.

Parents not home so I got to wear my skirt today. Probably a poor idea to have taken the opportunity to eat 30 oreos.

Nice one, lady. Hope it was nice and swishy?

[Xihirli]

Parents not home so I got to wear my skirt today. Probably a poor idea to have taken the opportunity to eat 30 oreos.

Where do you keep yours? Mine are at the bottom of my second drawer from the bottom.

[Miraqariftsky]

Where do you keep yours? Mine are at the bottom of my second drawer from the bottom.

Good luck, gals.

I hope y'all's stashes don't get raided and purged.

[Grytorm]

Mine is usually in my dresser as well. Bottom drawer and not really concealed. I've only had one close call at discovery which was fixed by yelling.

[golentan]

@To Whom It May Concern: Hugs to those who need or want 'em. Tea and popsicles to those who don't like getting too close.

Nice one, lady. Hope it was nice and swishy?

~glomp~ Hello lady. I'll gladly eat a popsicle from you as well.

[Jormengand]

~glomp~ Hello lady. I'll gladly eat a popsicle from you as well.

So that's what they're calling it nowadays...

[golentan]

Man, shaved legs just feel BETTER to me than hairy legs, but it takes me so long when I'm shaving myself...

[Orcus The Vile]

So... Hey guys!

In the end, I survived going to the night club by myself.

It was really fun. REALLY fun.

I can tell the whole tale if someone wants to know.

Oh well... Now I must return to the dull reality of my unreachable ivory tower at Asceticism castle.

[JNAProductions]

Well, feel free to share it on here. (The appropiate bits, of course.)

[Xihirli]

Good luck, gals.

I hope y'all's stashes don't get raided and purged.

I'm, uh... not transitioning. Probably. But thanks.

[Thufir]

Well, feel free to share it on here. (The appropiate bits, of course.)

And the inappropriate bits you should share elsewhere!

[Orcus The Vile]

Well, feel free to share it on here. (The appropriate bits, of course.)

Well... Ok. There were no naughty bits. Besides kissing... Is that appropriate? I hope it is.

Spoiler: Long and kind of boring

Show

So, I had a cover story about going to an art exhibition in the big city. That was no lie I actually went to it.

I just said it was at night while it actually was during day.

As I was going to the place that song “Come Little Children” from Hocus Pocus started playing in my cellophane... I just thought that was oddly perfect for the moment.

As the night fall I went to the place. There was a line outside as I suspected. I got very worried; what if someone I know is around this place and sees me here.

In front of me there was a group of friends... I started feeling that going alone was a bad idea. They were very rude when I asked some questions; I started regretting the whole thing.

Out of nowhere a very hot guy appeared behind me. He looked like a younger Hugh Jackman, I got kind of speechless... But said to myself "Today is the only day I will be able to this!" and started talking to him. He was really nice and polite unlike the others.

After talking to him a little, he told me he was going to meet a friend inside; after we got in he introduced me to his friend. He was also very cute... But he was as skinny as I'm so it helped me with the whole "This guys are more muscular or hairier than me." . They kind of gave me a brief walkthrough of how the place works and the many gay subcategories. I got kind of sad since the type of guy I was interested in (Shirtless and muscular... Shallow I know) only interacted with other shirtless and muscular guys.

I went to the dance floor but there was no "Overture 1812 from Tchaikovsky" or "Dvorak's New World Symphony 4th move" it was terrible and loud techno music... Worse than drakengard 1 soundtrack. But oh well that is the whole point of the place.

I went to the bar, but I don't drink... I considered ordering a soda, but that would sound silly and someone may put something in it while I was not looking so I got kind of frustrated.

There in the bar I saw a very handsome and hot guy. He had a name tattooed in Cyrillic alphabet I learned a bit of Russian since I study a Russian psychology theory. So I thought it was perfect way to start a conversation.

I asked him if that was his name. He said it was his father's. We talked a little. But he was kind of boring and not very interested in me. So just said I had to go and went out.

I found a chair and sited there... kind of regretting the whole thing. I saw the hot guy from the line making out with his cute friend and thought to myself wow that boat sailed, I sawmany cute guys having fun while I was kind of miserable. I considered going to the bathroom to wash my hands but I remembered what many gays do there so... I was really lost LOL. I think that was crystal clear in my face.

I considered going home I mean I had my gay night and all but then I saw a really REALLY hot guy, he had kind of a serious face... Kind of angry even (what was I thinking when I started talking to him?) but all by himself. I cursed myself for never having a chance with a guy like that... but then I said oh well why not, at least he is alone which means we got at least something in common.

I went to him and started complying about how hot he was and that even sitting down his belly does not bend. That was like super annoying but he for some reason found it funny. We started talking... Unlike the Russian guy he was very fun. We talked about art (the whole art exhibition thing), books and game of thrones. He said he was studying philosophy I joked about him looking too superficial for that (Since he was hot and muscular) He said it was Greek philosophy and we laughed like too silly guys.

I told him my tragic tale; he called me a drama queen and said he would do it... You know make out with me... That moment I kind of felt sad... The way he said I felt he was like doing me a favor out of pity. Got angry but oh well it is my only night and my only chance of making out with a hunk like that so we did it.

It was weird but dear gods both the old and the new he was hot. VERY hot. Then he looked at me and said. "This was your first kiss right? That is great since this will always be your first kiss, for the rest of your life the guy who first kissed me was a jerk so I hope I won't be... Maybe if you liked it you can change your mind about the whole never going out with guys thing".

It struck me like a train. My first kiss was with a guy I had no idea who was or what he did with his mouth before it. A sweaty shirtless guy in dark night club... Was that what I had in mind for my first and maybe only kiss? No. But oh well it was good enough (At least he was hot).

I gave him my cellphone (Something I regretted all the way back home with many "What if..." scenarios.) Since he said he really liked me and was determined to make me change my mind. I had to go and he probably had with a bunch of guys after I left... But I don't blame him.

It was fun. He was cute. I regret not taking a photo of him. But I have his number and name maybe I will find him in the net and stalk him, see him growing older and picturing a possible life I could have with him.

I'm happy. I got to say it was a really pleasant experience. I got to do what I wanted and for the first time in years I'm not jealous of some quantum alternate of me since all the fun happened in THIS universe. And nobody in my family suspects a thing.

[JNAProductions]

Well, you did swear, so you probably shouldn't've posted that here. GitP is a clean place. Kissing is a-okay, though.

Overall, congrats! Sounds like you had a great time, and you might have more great times in the future!

[Orcus The Vile]

Well, you did swear, so you probably shouldn't've posted that here. GitP is a clean place. Kissing is a-okay, though.

Overall, congrats! Sounds like you had a great time, and you might have more great times in the future!

Sorry I did use * but I think that was not enoug. I went all **** now. Not sure if that is enough. I may correct it tomorrow. did it already.

Thanks for the support. Sorry to bother you guys with such silly and superficial things. But I have nobody else to talk to about this. So thanks for reading.

EDIT: Also, what happend to that guy who had a Philemon avatar?

[Xihirli]

Doesn't OoTS have swearing? SoD even has the stronger ones a few times. I think you're fine.
I'm glad you had a good time.

[JNAProductions]

I always advise caution. I'd hate for someone to get an infraction when it could've been avoided.

OotS has things like crap, damn, and other minor cusses. I don't remember exactly how much, but it certainly does not have the more serious swears.

[golentan]

Hey, guys? Miraqariftsky has linked me to Rain a couple times in the past and now I'm trying to seriously read it. But, uh... Is there an archive other than the one on DeviantArt? All of the links are broken and it's slowing my reading down by an order of magnitude...

[Miraqariftsky]

Hey, guys? Miraqariftsky has linked me to Rain a couple times in the past and now I'm trying to seriously read it. But, uh... Is there an archive other than the one on DeviantArt? All of the links are broken and it's slowing my reading down by an order of magnitude...

Yay!

Well... sorry my help might not be what you're looking for thattaway. My easy way to Rain is just popping the "J" key and the browser is helpful enough to complete ma'am Jocelyn Samara's page on DeviantArt. Directly on there is where I usually read Rain.

Praytell, how's DA slow for you, then? The "Next" links are pretty functional, last I checked. Is it the having to magnify the individual pages to be able to read them that's slowing you down?

[golentan]

Nope, the links to the next comic just bounce me to the Jocelyn's homepage, instead.

[Lycunadari]

You can read it on Smackjeeves instead.

[Heliomance]

So, I've got enough development now that, with breast forms on top, I'm somewhat overly busty, to the point that the buttons on my blouses are starting to pop open periodically. Unfortunately, I don't have enough development that it's particularly visible if I'm not wearing the forms.

#firstworldtransproblems