LGBTAI+ #56: Prismatic Spray!

[Mono Vertigo]

EDIT: Also, what happend to that guy who had a Philemon avatar?

If I'm not mistaken (not that there were tons of guys in this thread who had a Philemon avatar but you never know), he decided to leave this forum for several reasons, though IIRC he still sometimes goes to the roleplay-only subforums.
(AFAIK he wasn't banned, so I believe it's safe talking about him.)

[noparlpf]

Hey, guys? Miraqariftsky has linked me to Rain a couple times in the past and now I'm trying to seriously read it. But, uh... Is there an archive other than the one on DeviantArt? All of the links are broken and it's slowing my reading down by an order of magnitude...

I read it here.

[golentan]

Thanks guys! It looks like later chapters the links work for me, so I'm gonna just get through the earlies and then pop back to the main page on DA. The alternate links are workin' for me.

[Heliomance]

Thanks guys! It looks like later chapters the links work for me, so I'm gonna just get through the earlies and then pop back to the main page on DA. The alternate links are workin' for me.

That'll probably be because she changed her DA name a couple of times, so I wouldn't be surprised if the older comics links use the old name.

[golentan]

That'll probably be because she changed her DA name a couple of times, so I wouldn't be surprised if the older comics links use the old name.

The weird thing was the first 11 pages were fine, and then... They weren't... ~shrug~

Ah well. I'm already partway through Chapter 4.

It's amazing to me how much of a single-issue-wonk I am on LGBT issues sometimes. Way before I admitted I was attracted to men, I would scream at other kids in my high-school about the importance of legalizing gay marriage, and then go home and write elaborate fantasy stories about same sex couples winding up together... And Rain is hitting all of my LGBT sweet spots right now: Dramedy is one of my favorite genres for comics for sure...

[JusticeZero]

Okay, so not to twist your obvious headaches, but..

And strangers just gets hard when it's kids staring a bunch and loudly going "is that a boy or a girl" at work or people discussing my gender among them at the register when I"m right there...

..Waaant.
Sadly, I keep hearing the comment that hormones are the most important step to getting people to recognize one's gender properly, and SOME of the effects of hormones, I wouldn't want. The other physical changes, I am unenthusiastic about. I just want to be confusing without being a screaming beacon for policing abuse.
I particularly want a neutral voice, but I have no idea what else i need to do for it - I can't hear my voice, in the sense that listening to it bugs me and I can't analyze it at all. Also, at work, I try to nudge the tone a bit, but then I have to raise my voice to be heard and it all goes away.

[Coidzor]

..Waaant.

You really, really don't want children to actively want to be rude to you.

[golentan]

Guys, out of spoons, please help.

[JNAProductions]

Spoons are a metaphor... Mental energy to get stuff done in the face of mental illness.

Talking to Golentan on Steam, which is where the quote is from.

Apparently it's a common metaphor, but I've not heard of it. So here's the explanation for anyone else who's confused.

[BladeofObliviom]

Talking to Golentan on Steam, which is where the quote is from.

Apparently it's a common metaphor, but I've not heard of it. So here's the explanation for anyone else who's confused.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spoon_theory

It's not uncommon in communities like this, but it is uncommonly used in the general population so it's not strange that you haven't heard of it.

[JusticeZero]

You really, really don't want children to actively want to be rude to you.

As opposed to everybody misgendering me all the time? It's a choice between people treating me politely as something i'm not versus being impolite because they actually are seeing me more accurately.
I mean, I can adjust my presentation as situations require, but I don't know how to get to a sufficiently androgynous point.

[Lord Raziere]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spoon_theory

It's not uncommon in communities like this, but it is uncommonly used in the general population so it's not strange that you haven't heard of it.

its very similar to the idea I've heard about my autism: that I have only so much energy I can devote to social things before it tires me out. not everyday activities just social stuff....

[Heliomance]

You really, really don't want children to actively want to be rude to you.

Actually, from my experience, if one identifies as androgyne then having people wonder if you're male or female is pretty much the most flattering reaction one can get.

[Lycunadari]

Yes. The one time I overheard someone asking "Is that a woman or a man?" it made me incredibly happy.

Also, *offers hugs to Golly and whoever else might need some*

[Astrella]

I'm not desiring to be seen as androgenous though, and I have social anxiety so people staring and not stopping is very stressful for me. Like the misgendering really wears me down and some customers even do it intentionally (or do people normally call you boy 5 times in a few sentences?)...

[noparlpf]

Guys, out of spoons, please help.

What's up? You okay?

[Lycunadari]

I'm not desiring to be seen as androgenous though, and I have social anxiety so people staring and not stopping is very stressful for me. Like the misgendering really wears me down and some customers even do it intentionally (or do people normally call you boy 5 times in a few sentences?)...

I'm aware, sorry if I made it seem like your feelings are invalid, that was not my intention. Misgendering sucks, and I understand that constantly having your gender questioned if you don't want that must be horrible. *offers hugs*

[Astrella]

You didn't invalidate my feelings, Juniper, no worries. :) *accepts hugs*

[golentan]

Better this morning...

[Kittenwolf]

So, I've got enough development now that, with breast forms on top, I'm somewhat overly busty, to the point that the buttons on my blouses are starting to pop open periodically. Unfortunately, I don't have enough development that it's particularly visible if I'm not wearing the forms.

#firstworldtransproblems

Yay?
Time for a pushup bra perhaps? :)
Either way, huzzah for development Helio!

I'm not desiring to be seen as androgenous though, and I have social anxiety so people staring and not stopping is very stressful for me. Like the misgendering really wears me down and some customers even do it intentionally (or do people normally call you boy 5 times in a few sentences?)...

I can understand that frustration and unwantedness :( *Offers hug*
When I used to work retail, way before I had any thought of being anything other than cisgendered, I used to get misgendered a lot, usually at first glance or when seen from behind (or when they heard me speak).
(It's not really a surprise since when I looked at an old photo of myself from that time I didn't even recognise that it was me, let alone that it was a boy.)

It used to bother me somewhat when I was misgendered but by FAR the most annoying thing was when people realised their mistake and then went "OH MY GOD I'M SO SORRY!! I DIDN'T MEAN IT! I MEAN YOU LOOK SO MUCH LIKE A GIRL FROM BEHIND AND I JUST THOUGHT...."
It's like, gee, way to *massively* call attention to it in front of loads of other people and make me feel uncomfortable, there's no possible way that could be problematic for me...

[golentan]

Went out in genderqueer mode today. Skirt and feminine top and beard. Got so many looks, heard so many whispered remarks...

Grr...

And yet, I feel better for having done so. My skirt makes me feel more comfortable with myself, same way my beard does.

And yet... still cis-by-default most times...

[Xihirli]

Just something for all of you to laugh at for awhile:


Cisgender-ness is made up. The concept that people have concrete gender identity that matches their birth is ridiculous. Those who identify as cis- just want to feel like special snowflakes.

I'm a cis-male (though everyone always doubts it...). I'm ALLOWED to mock the cisgendered.

[JusticeZero]

I'm not desiring to be seen as androgenous though, and I have social anxiety so people staring and not stopping is very stressful for me..

I don't mean to be upsetting to you.. I'm
just frustrated because the reactions you are being frustrated and upset by are the ones I've wanted to get for a long time.
In particular, my voice is annoying me to no end. I would like to be able to use VOIP at some point without dysphoria...

[Heliomance]

Yay?
Time for a pushup bra perhaps? :)
Either way, huzzah for development Helio!

Aye, I just about have enough for that to kinda work. I did buy a pushup bra, but it's in the wash atm.

[Astrella]

I don't mean to be upsetting to you.. I'm
just frustrated because the reactions you are being frustrated and upset by are the ones I've wanted to get for a long time.
In particular, my voice is annoying me to no end. I would like to be able to use VOIP at some point without dysphoria...

It's okay. And voice dysphoria really sucks. :/ Have you had a look if you can find something about making your voice sound more androgynous?

[JusticeZero]

Well, I'm not sure what to start with. I don't know what I need, my voice is already a bit close in some respects, and I don't know what is needed. It seems like the tutorials focus on things that I'm not sure are the issue, but I am not sure what the issue IS.
Plus as noted, it all comes apart when I have to raise my voice, which is always at work, and tutorials don't cover that.

[Astrella]

Yeah, keeping your voice the way you want is hard when you have to raise it. :/ I'm not really sure what to do about that, sorry.

[super dark33]

Appearently on friday a big newspaper piece on the special subscription only friday print with the long pieces is going to have its main deal being about an actor from here (israel), a large point about his dating with a man for three years, at the preview of which a quote is "So i am attracted to women and im attracted to men, so what, i dont need to label myself".

Im not sure if to expect it to be more expanded upon than this or not, i remember a piece from a few years ago being "This woman worries her bisexual husband is cheating on her, with MEN!!!11!".

[noparlpf]

I found a survey for trans gamers. It asks stuff about representation, feeling safe in gaming spaces, &c. I figure this forum is a good place to share it.

[Astrella]

Bluh, I reread the entirity of rain and now i'm upst and dno't know why and I want to cry but I can't and I don' know why or if it's because of the anxiety meds or something else but I just want to be able to cry properly again