LGBTAI+ #57 Infinity: I Love You, Always Forever

[Grytorm]

Spoiler: Grytorm's "Probably Triggers"

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No, it wouldn't be any easier. The only difference is that you'd be dead.

Why not? I would be dead. It would traumatize my family, I think especially my sister. But it would save them money and effort. Remove the stressor of dealing with my repeated failures to set my life straight. And I would not have to deal with my own problems.

[Athedia]

Spoiler: Grytorm's "Probably Triggers"

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Why not? I would be dead. It would traumatize my family, I think especially my sister. But it would save them money and effort. Remove the stressor of dealing with my repeated failures to set my life straight. And I would not have to deal with my own problems.

Trust me, it would devastate them. If you aren't concerned about yourself know that they will constantly be wondering where they went wrong. It won't remove any stressors for them.

[Bobbybobby99]

I just had it confirmed that my now passed father had diagnosed schizoaffective disorder, alongside my mother. Now I'm practically guaranteed to have either bipolar, schizoaffective, or schizophrenic disorder, and likely already have a developing form of one. Fun.

Beyond that, I am now really, really irritated at my grandmother for making me weasel said father's diagnosis out of my aunt, rather than telling me. Grrrr.

Also,

Spoiler: Blah

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Suicide does the exact opposite of reducing stress, by the way. My father was practically the epitome of stressful and frustrating when alive, and the funeral plus other stuff was even worse in that regard.

[Icewraith]

Spoiler: Grytorm's "Probably Triggers"

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Why not? I would be dead. It would traumatize my family, I think especially my sister. But it would save them money and effort. Remove the stressor of dealing with my repeated failures to set my life straight. And I would not have to deal with my own problems.

Spoiler

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I'm going to give you a vision of the future where you commit suicide.

The event burns a permanent, searing scar on your family members. Instead of dealing with your struggles and failures (but also the possibility that you also have successes), they live the rest of their lives questioning what more they could have done to help you.

Any happy memory of their lives from when you were conceived to when you died become blighted. They can't look at family pictures because you're in them. The memory of your death will haunt them and torment them far more effectively than any of your supposed failures in life. If you love your family at all, know that killing yourself is the most destructive and harmful thing you could do to them.

Your family will always be in more pain and less happy compared to a timeline where all other major events are identical except you're still alive.

There's your vision. I promise you it is accurate.

[Dire Moose]

Moosey, remind me to ask you about finding a counselor, I didn't know you had one yourself.

I don't have one yet; I was writing this letter as a first step in contacting one and was going to send it to the group in Scottsdale I'd mentioned earlier, which also has offices in Phoenix and Chandler (link here).

Anyway, I'm sure they'd be able to help you out as well. I got that one from a list posted here, and the other two are probably worth checking out as well.

[golentan]

I just had it confirmed that my now passed father had diagnosed schizoaffective disorder, alongside my mother. Now I'm practically guaranteed to have either bipolar, schizoaffective, or schizophrenic disorder, and likely already have a developing form of one. Fun.

Beyond that, I am now really, really irritated at my grandmother for making me weasel said father's diagnosis out of my aunt, rather than telling me. Grrrr.

Also,

Spoiler: Blah

Show

Suicide does the exact opposite of reducing stress, by the way. My father was practically the epitome of stressful and frustrating when alive, and the funeral plus other stuff was even worse in that regard.

Uh, I actually am schizoaffective myself. If you wanna talk, I can pass on some experience, some ways of dealing with the crap, and how it sometimes touches on queer issues.

[Grytorm]

Spoiler: On a Slightly Less Grim Note

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I am in a slightly different state of mind. Still negative.

But I have noticed how that many of us have experienced despair similar to what I am experiencing. Rarely do we turn our pain onto others. And even more rarely stop hoping that others may overcome their suffering in a healthy way. We think of ourselves as special cases, alone and utterly doomed. Even if it seems that death is a way out, it is not so for others. Interesting.

[JusticeZero]

On the subject of voice training, does anybody know what might cause somebody's voice to become illegible on radios?

[Icewraith]

On the subject of voice training, does anybody know what might cause somebody's voice to become illegible on radios?

Well if you're self-conscious of your voice, you're likely to speak at a lower volume than you would otherwise, making it harder to pick up in the first place.

[JusticeZero]

Was speaking up loudly actually! On a radio is when I'm most confident of my voice. Any other ideas?

[Icewraith]

Was speaking up loudly actually! On a radio is when I'm most confident of my voice. Any other ideas?

Have you tried it with different radios?

[Ravens_cry]

Yesterday, I had a dull ache around my pelvic, groin region, starting when I woke up. I think it might have been a 'menstrual' cramp, brought on by my new bio-chemistry. I had a giddy sense of 'Yahoo!' at the prospect, though maybe I just slept wrong.

[JusticeZero]

Have you tried it with different radios?

Yeah, I get a different radio every day.

[Dire Moose]

Yesterday, I had a dull ache around my pelvic, groin region, starting when I woke up. I think it might have been a 'menstrual' cramp, brought on by my new bio-chemistry. I had a giddy sense of 'Yahoo!' at the prospect, though maybe I just slept wrong.

That's something I've wondered about. I've heard about monthly aches and pains from trans women a few times, yet others don't seem to report anything. Is this really a thing?

Also, in other news I managed to find myself a comfortable skirt (seriously, skirts are way more comfortable than any pants I've ever worn) and that was finally enough that I could start crossdressing in earnest. I've done that occasionally late at night when nobody else is awake, and I'm really loving it. I can also really see myself as a girl in the mirror when I'm doing that (it helps to do it right after a shower; everything's freshly shaved and I can style my hair more easily). It's kind of crazy to look at my reflection and read it as female, but honestly it's a good feeling too. Same one I've gotten when playing female RPG characters; I just get a sort of "rush" of happiness and excitement seeing myself like that.

[Serpentine]

On the subject of voice training, does anybody know what might cause somebody's voice to become illegible on radios?

Dunno about radios, but my job involves listening to digital recordings of court proceedings all day every day, so... I don't know what it is specifically, but a couple of things that I've found make people hard to understand:

- not enunciating
- mumbling
- not opening the mouth properly
- being too far away from the mic
- being too close to the mic
- eating a lamb chop?
- not FINISHING A GODDAMN SENTENCE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PUT A FULL STOP SOMEWHERE
- static
- shuffling paper
- multiple people talking at once
- background noise

[Heliomance]

On my way to Charing Cross!

EDIT: Nothing particularly exciting said. Next appointment in June, which I think it's the last step before surgery! It might actually happen next year!

[gooddragon1]

How would I let a guy who I suspect may be gay and may be trying to determine if I am that I would not go that way for my own reasons? Would it be best if I just said nothing and kept my distance (this seems to me as the best way)?

[JusticeZero]

Context? I mean, you might just try finding a way to mention your interest in the other sex and not the same one in their presence, preferably while expressing support for those who do have those orientations. The cold shoulder seems awkward.

Regarding voice.. Yes, there is a lot of static and background noise, but everyone else manages to be understood without having to ask for someone to tell them what I said (which contains a wrong pronoun "* said..." EVERY TIME).

[gooddragon1]

Context? I mean, you might just try finding a way to mention your interest in the other sex and not the same one in their presence, preferably while expressing support for those who do have those orientations. The cold shoulder seems awkward.

I'm not really the talkative sort in person. I'll see what I can do. Not sure why the cold shoulder would be bad. It seems to be working so far :/

Also, I can't really give context without breaking forum rules I think (and some of the specific rules of this thread), so let's just leave it at that and say my reasons are my own.

[golentan]

Because honesty done well removes a lot of the pain of interpersonal relationships even if it's a bit like ripping off a bandaid and avoidance causes further problems like the loss of a friend?

[gooddragon1]

Because honesty done well removes a lot of the pain of interpersonal relationships even if it's a bit like ripping off a bandaid and avoidance causes further problems like the loss of a friend?

Not really a friend. More like an acquaintance. I really don't like dealing with even minor social issues. I'd like this whole thing to just go away. I figure distance and time will fix this.

[golentan]

Sooo, not to put too fine a point on it, but if you can't share context, and you've already made up your mind how to deal with this situation, why are you asking for advice? Hoping for absolution or affirmation for your decision?

[Xihirli]

First time at a GSA meeting.

Total win!

[ArlEammon]

Sooo. . .I'm 32 years old as of the 10th of December. . .
No girlfriend/boyfriend, no one.
I would like some people to talk to in Arizona. . . :(

[Shadowscale]

Sooo. . .I'm 32 years old as of the 10th of December. . .
No girlfriend/boyfriend, no one.
I would like some people to talk to in Arizona. . . :(

Hiyo. Greetings from Hotlandia.

[Kittenwolf]

So. Yesterday morning I had the last of my scheduled four scheduled visits to a gender psych.
And he's okayed me to start hormones.
Meep.
Given that I'm genderfluid I'm planning on doing a trial period of estrogen (no blockers) and seeing how my brain & body react and deciding if I wish to continue. But.. gods, talk about big huge things! Kinda scary.

Not entirely sure when start will be since I promised myself months ago that I wouldn't start anything like this until I'd managed to tell me dad about how I identify, so I really need to make an opportunity to do that... hopefully when I see family over Christmas.

So, yay but oh gods, scary?

Also, got out of a travel agent a couple of hours ago with a friend, we're heading to Vietnam for two weeks in January. Yay for holidays! Hopefully there shall be an awesome time, and it seems like a pretty good celebration of things to me :)
Maybe I should get my ears pierced again to mark the occasion..

Thirdly, I've handed in notice at my job, because I just can't take the seven day a week, seven am to midnight, weekly rotating roster anymore, it's taking too much of a toll on my health, mental and physical.
I plan to spend the couple of months after I finish getting back into shape and losing as much weight as I can manage.
Got to look good in a slinky dress someday, right?

So yeah. That's.. actually come to think of it a damned lot of news for a few short days.
I hope everyone else is doing awesomely right now, and if you aren't, I can offer hugs and/or Milo/coconut balls.

[golentan]

I appear to be experiencing a hysterical pregnancy.

...

[YossarianLives]

Does anyone have tips on dressing androgynously?

[golentan]

Does anyone have tips on dressing androgynously?

What's your starting point and are you planning to go provocative or demure, and for that matter ambiguous or gender... well, it's a filtered word?

[YossarianLives]

What's your starting point and are you planning to go provocative or demure, and for that matter ambiguous or gender... well, it's a filtered word?

Sorry, I should have been more specific. The goal I'm going for is that somebody I meet on the street will have difficulty assigning a binary gender to me. I hadn't thought much about being provocative, so I suppose it's not terribly important to me.

I'm male, if it makes a difference.