Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition IV: Just what Doc Ordered

[ZeroGear]

Prior Threads Here (1), Here (2), and Here (3)

"Don't Eat that!"
*Munch, munch* "Huh?"
"Too Late."

[DigoDragon]

Viridia: “I'm gonna roll Intelligence and Barter for knowledge of Kingdom Kuntakinte.”
Rolls: *Success*
Doc: “Looks like you have knowledge of her... Roots.”

Doc: (Starts playing with the cyber-surgeon pod) “Don't worry, Baqir. Just looking at the specs here. You keep on relaxing in your little pod.”
Viridia: “You know what you have to do, Doc. Give him breast implants.”

Doc: *Looks through the cybernetic unicorn horns*
GM: “The level of realism ranged from ‘Vaguely an antennae’, to 'If he got caught holding this somepony would think he's a sociopath'.”
Doc: (Looks at the cyberwings too) “Now there's a prank idea. Too bad Everfrost knows nothing about alicorns.”

GM: “’Get your little friend to knock her while her back is turned,’ Cassidy whispered in Viridia's ear, sounding serious.”
Viridia: “Viridia blinked and wondered whether she could flirt with the third voice in her head.”
GM: “Haha, whoops! Also, Cassidy looks suspiciously like Viridia's and Tirkes's hypothetical love child.”
Viridia: “Hate is a special kind of love.”

GM: “At a certain point, Doc heard a 'poof' sound that came from right behind him. Then a small blue filly with longish dark green hair fell from the ceiling, followed by a small black ball of fluff. The filly landed on what seemed to be a large butt implant about as wide as the filly was tall, however, so she happened to land on the only thing that could be considered a safe landing in the room.”

Stitcheart: “I thought I told you not to let anyone just prance their way in here!”
Doc: “Well technically, they teleported.”

[Rater202]

Gear:Yes Adepha, we've already Established that I accidentally married you and Spark to each other and you've been dragon married since we were like, eleven.

[Aran nu tasar]

"As the moral center of this party, I should be the one who decides whether or not we summon Satan."

[Necroticplague]

DM: Why do I feel like even hearing these conversation occur is slowly making me a worse person?

[goto124]

The filly landed on what seemed to be a large butt implant about as wide as the filly was tall, however, so she happened to land on the only thing that could be considered a safe landing in the room.”

Not hindquarters or flank?

Stitcheart: “I thought I told you not to let anyone just prance their way in here!”
Doc: “Well technically, they teleported.”

Not that Doc could've have stopped them!

[DigoDragon]

Gear:Yes Adepha, we've already Established that I accidentally married you and Spark to each other and you've been dragon married since we were like, eleven.

Hurrah for loopholes?

"As the moral center of this party, I should be the one who decides whether or not we summon Satan."

Uh yeah, that sounds like an important decision best left to the moral center. XD

DM: Why do I feel like even hearing these conversation occur is slowly making me a worse person?

Because PCs do corrupt one another.

Not hindquarters or flank?

I don't know, but given the cost of these implants, I guess they can call it whatever they want. :D

[DaveSonOfDave]

DM: "You see a guard standing outside the gate."
Halfling Barbarian: "How tall is he?"
DM: "About six feet."
Halfing Barbarian: "I'm going to jump over him!"

[Necroticplague]

Shibu: There are several different types of mechanical difficulties and I'd think I'd rather not know what type you're referring to.

[Anonymouswizard]

Me: have I been sold, or is a new character sheet not required?

[cavalieredraghi]

Hurrah for loopholes?

Spark: Yes Hurrah Digo, Why wouldn't be.

[DigoDragon]

Doc: “I'm going to have to keep Stitch from experimenting on Captain Jack, aren't I?”
Viridia: “She can do what she likes with the mutt. His betrayal shall never be forgiven.”
Doc: “Ah. Then the dog will probably just have to blink his way out of trouble. Doc is more concerned for the orphaned filly who can't teleport anyway.”
Viridia: “More NPCs for the love-wagon. Let's pry Andante off the whiskey and christen this bad boy.”
Doc: *Snerk* “That what we're calling it now? Well if [Seaweed] is going to stick around, I suppose Doc could adopt her Seaweed could adopt Doc.”

GM: “Soon, the answer as to why Andante is entirely and utterly useless shall be answered!”
Viridia: “This Sunday night at suuuuuuuuperslam!”

GM: “For a few moments, it looked like Andante had simply vanished, but then a tiny bug thing came into Viridia's line of sight. Her legs were a little longer and she looked a little thinner overall, but otherwise it was still clearly Andante Shine.”
Viridia: “I thought she was a freaky fish pony. But that's Breezie, right?”
GM: “Yep!”
Viridia: “You... You're... You're...” (howling with laughter)

Stellar: “Stitchheart's just downstairs. Come on, [Cassidy], let's get you seen to.”
Strawberry: “Hey, you cut her up and now you're taking her downstairs? What kind of crazy pony are you? Do you think you can just take my stuff?”
Moon: “She's the sort of crazy that'll kill to protect a stranger she's never even met.”
Stellar: “Uh... thanks, I guess?”
Moon: “And yeah, I think we can do whatever we want because you certainly aren't going to stop us, and Fan Knife isn't going to object.”

Moon: “I'm trying to think of a non-lethal way to kneecap someone with lasers.”
Doc: “I’d just shoot them in the knee. They'll live. …Or maybe take an aimed attack and pistol-whip her?”
Moon: “Moonshadow can't hit things physically. Seaweed would be better at it then her.”
Doc: (Checks stats) “Moonshadow has Unarmed 14, Melee 8, and Doc has Unarmed 12, Melee 9. So Doc and Moon can get themselves into a drunken brawl against each other, and end up not even touching one another?”

[goto124]

I didn't even know Breezies are an MLP race!

Erm... explanation for the last joke please?

[DigoDragon]

I didn't even know Breezies are an MLP race!

It caught us all by surprise. Though In-Character only Viridia knows this secret.

Erm... explanation for the last joke please?

Basically Moonshadow and Doc have the lowest melee and hoof-to-hoof fighting skills in the team. The numbers I read off were the percentages to hit a target. So if those two fought each other in melee, they's probably miss a lot.

[Tentreto]

In a masquerade setting within two minutes of starting the campaign.

GM: The old man takes a blue pyramid from his bag and throws it to you.

Bartender "Err, do I need to roll to catch this?"

GM ... While it would be fun to break the Mcguffin within two minutes, you are not quite that incompetent.

[ZeroGear]

*in Sing-song voice* "Heeeey, come baaaack! I just want to play 'hide the grenade!"
"You Win! You WIN! Just Keep That Away From Me!"
*still sing-song* "But we haven't gotten to the good part yet."
"I AM NOT PLAYING ANY GAME THAT INVOLVES ME TAKING OFF MY PANTS!"

[BlackestOfMages]

I'm impressed taking off your pants is the main reason you don't want to play that game

[DigoDragon]

GM ... While it would be fun to break the Mcguffin within two minutes, you are not quite that incompetent.

My old local group did that once. XD
I let them, and then they had to figure out a way to make a fake because they realized after the fact it would have been a really good bargaining chip.

"I AM NOT PLAYING ANY GAME THAT INVOLVES ME TAKING OFF MY PANTS!"

Well, I can think of one game.

[ZeroGear]

I'm impressed taking off your pants is the main reason you don't want to play that game

You don't know where she intended to hide the grenade.

Well, I can think of one game.

This is not "smuggle the sausage".

[Necroticplague]

Gene: Wait, if we get caught, we're probably getting a death sentence, right?
DM: Correct.
Gene: So it's impossible to punish us even worse....
DM; Why do I not like where this is going?
Gene: .....so we have no reason to not take any and every action to avoid capture......
Gene: So logically, we should be war criming even harder now!
DM: I just signed this setting's death warrant, didn't I.

[Bard1cKnowledge]

Elven sounds like such a poetic language, that is until you know what's actually being said. Seriously, its the opposite of German.

[bulbaquil]

Stonelord: "Why would I allow you to mess with my weapon?"
Alchemist: "I have Magical Tinkering."
Stonelord: "I have Craft (weapons)."
Alchemist: "But I want to add a steam-powered engine to your hammer!"
Stonelord: "THAT I will allow."

Druid: "Okay, so I'm going to start the game with five siege engines... but I'm too weak to push them!"

Warder: "I'm an elf dwarven defender."

GM: " 'What's a veh--v--'... He vomits."
Stonelord: "Stinking half-elf!"
Warder (OOC): "I've never heard anyone vomit on a 'v'."
Alchemist (OOC): "You haven't been on 4chan in a while."

Druid: "At the very least I can stop [the dwarf] from procreating... for ten hours."

[goto124]

Elven sounds like such a poetic language, that is until you know what's actually being said. Seriously, its the opposite of German.

Related.

[DigoDragon]

Spoiler: Responses

Show

DM: I just signed this setting's death warrant, didn't I.

Yep, you did.

Alchemist (OOC): "You haven't been on 4chan in a while."

You're not missing much.

---

Gizmo: “I'm still trying to figure out if this is a monster attack or a friendship emergency as is the norm in Ponyville.”
Reuben: “If the latter, we should have it wrapped in in 30 minutes, right?”
Morning: “I dunno, I'm getting a 45 minute feeling from this one. Is there a weird box with six keyholes or pseudo-Marxism involved?”
Reuben: “Oh Celestia... losing his ability to cook would devastate Reuben.”
Gizmo: “Rueben's got it bad? What will happen if Gizmo loses his big, beautiful, sexy brain?”
Reuben: “Scary to think of Reuben being ‘equally smart’ to Gizmo.”
Morning: “And Morning Star would lose... her desire to inspire ponies to be better and help them? ...Would the cutie unmarking make her EVIL?”

GM: “Guess what time it is? It's time for the once-a-season exposition dump by a princess and attack of some ancient hellspawn!”

Gizmo: “What do you suppose will happen if we put the helmet on with the ruby still intact?”
Reuben: “I'm not a smart science pony, and even *I* think that's not a good idea.”
Gizmo: “But you cannot throw away the fact that we might learn more of the gem’s purposes if it is still intact in the helmet.”
Reuben: “Okay, but... evil is not a fashion accessory! Don't wear it.”
Twilight: “Autumn, I was told by Rainbow Dash that you are a reliable pony. Could you please make sure that nopony tries to get themselves possessed by pony-knows-what?”
Autumn: *Cuffs Gizmo upside the head with a wingtip*

Reuben: “I will Bits-&-Bobs a stale loaf of Prench bread and beat the chaos magic out of Gizmo.”

Reuben: “Reuben is calculating how flammable he is, and whether he has any recipes he could modify to use as a distracting snack.”

Gizmo: “Theory number three—Ancient Equestrian Lasers!”

[goto124]

Was that in or out of character when people started talking about 30-minute marks?

[DigoDragon]

Was that in or out of character when people started talking about 30-minute marks?

Out of character. If it were In character that 4th wall would have been destroyed. :D

[RCgothic]

Heh. Gizmo frequently requires cuffing. But I'd forgotten about this one practically on the order of the princess.

[Anonymouswizard]

Droid Mechanic: I make a fake copy of myself. *rolls*
GM: it looks like a child's idea of a robot.

Droid Mechanic: one of your secret identities owns me.
Spy: I have to figure out which one.

[DigoDragon]

Heh. Gizmo frequently requires cuffing. But I'd forgotten about this one practically on the order of the princess.

This one is by far the crowning one.

Droid Mechanic: one of your secret identities owns me.
Spy: I have to figure out which one.

That's funny. :3

[Anonymouswizard]

Droid Mechanic: I know what's in a box, Darth Darth Binks!

GM: nobody would trust one with a lightsaber!

Spy: no, this is serious business, I'll save the pickup lines for later.