AMEN X: Call of Moonthulu

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

Go ahead and test it out, Danny Phantom.

Phantom? What?

[Saurous]

"Danny Phantom, you moron."

[Lord Magtok]

...Sorry. My player forgets sometimes that not everyone else watches those stupid cartoons on Nickelodeon.

I still can't believe that he actually made me say that...

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

I mean, I'm not a phantom. Or ghost. Or anything like that. I'm a morphling. That's it.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Ahhhh!
Vespe rips out Magtoks spleen.
NEVER
MENTION
THAT
SHOW
AGAIN.

[Rex Idiotarum]

I'm with you MP!
(Loser.)

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok takes his player's spleen and uses it to replace his own, and then swears to keep his player from ever referencing any stupid cartoons like that one ever again. Especially the garbage that comes from Nickelodeon.

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

I launch my first weapon! No saving throw.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Whatcha doing?
I'm trying to think up a backstory for you, but I can't think of anything that fits your character. I would do something horribly angsty like everyone elses but that doesn't fit you in the least. And every one I do turns out wrong.
I see.
Any ideas?
You're the one who made me up.
True. Still can't think of anything.
Carlos continues trying to write up a good backstory for Vespe.

[Lord Magtok]

I launch my first weapon! No saving throw.

Apparently you forgot that my player's AT&T dial-up connection thingy is too slow for him to watch that. I'm afraid your link is useless.

Now while you go think up something else to use against me, I going to go ignore you and watch the movie.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Anyone got any ideas for a backstory for Vespe?

[Fus.Weapon 1337]

So, nobody clicked on the link? Crap.

[Lord Magtok]

Anyone got any ideas for a backstory for Vespe?

How about this? He was a regular elfy edventuring bard, until one day, someone in his evil adventuring party had the nerve to mock his class. He instantly gained a few levels in bard-barian, and killed off his entire party. The DM got pissed, so he banished the bard to the playground, and he eventually joined AMEN.

[Vespe Ratavo]

How about this? He was a regular elfy edventuring bard, until one day, someone in his evil adventuring party had the nerve to mock his class. He instantly gained a few levels in bard-barian, and killed off his entire party. The DM got pissed, so he banished the bard to the playground, and he eventually joined AMEN.

That's actually....pretty good.
That sucks.
But, it gives me an idea.
Oh no.... damn you Magtok!

[Lord Magtok]

*Shrugs* At least I kept it from getting angsty. Speaking of which, I have to have a word with my player.

Magtok's player suddenly warps in.

What do you want? I'm very busy, so make it quick!

Edit all of the angst out of my backstory or I'll kill you.

Fine. Your family was killed by paladins and you were cut in half and turned into a cyborg, but your family hated you anyways and you were happy when they died.

You took over the world simply because you needed to in order to extinguish all of the paladins from the world, and the whole time you never got upset even once.

Fine. But what about the clone son thing?

He killed you and then your soul got warped here. PM's aliens blew up that world, and everyone on it. They all died, and you live happily, knowing that all the jerks and bastards who made fun of your robot-ness are dead.

Hmm...I guess that'll work. Now go away.

Magtok's player dissappears, and Magtok gets a angst-free backstory.

[Mr. Moon]

Moon Called smirks. "Wellcome to the world of players who actualy try to form plots." She pauses, and frowns. "Hang on... I sence a change in the Plot..."

Saphire darts in. "What? Don't be silly! It's nothing!"

[Saurous]

"A change in the Plot? This won't end well."

Saurous prepares to make a run for the bomb shelter and/or the +9 desk of invulnerability.

[Mr. Moon]

Moon Called shakes her head. "No, no, not now. Sometime... distant."

"It's nothing! Stop scrying into it! I comand you to stop scrying into it!" Saphire shouts. Moon Called sighs.

[Saurous]

"It sure doesn't sound like nothing," Saurous and his player say in unison.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Hey Magtok, which thread did I come in? You know, with the Spartan stuff.

[Lord Magtok]

"A change in the Plot? This won't end well."

Saurous prepares to make a run for the bomb shelter and/or the +9 desk of invulnerability.

The ol' desk? Wasn;t that back from before you and MC hooked up? I think she tried to crawl under there with you, prompting me to start the whole chain of events that led to Maur.

Wait...this means that your desk is the reason why Maur exists and why you and MC are together! That desk ruined everything that once made AMEN great! It must be destroyed!

Hey Magtok, which thread did I come in? You know, with the Spartan stuff.

I don't remember. Sometime before Casino Ratavo.

[Mr. Moon]

"It sure doesn't sound like nothing," Saurous and his player say in unison

"No, really? I hadn't geussed."

"It is nothing! God, why don't you people trust me!" Saphire throws her arms up in the air and storms off.

The ol' desk? Wasn;t that back from before you and MC hooked up? I think she tried to crawl under there with you, prompting me to start the whole chain of events that led to Maur.

Wait...this means that your desk is the reason why Maur exists and why you and MC are together! That desk ruined everything that once made AMEN great! It must be destroyed!

"I was hiding from Ayya, damn it! She wanted to braid my hair!"

[Saurous]

The ol' desk? Wasn;t that back from before you and MC hooked up? I think she tried to crawl under there with you, prompting me to start the whole chain of events that led to Maur.

Wait...this means that your desk is the reason why Maur exists and why you and MC are together! That desk ruined everything that once made AMEN great! It must be destroyed!

"Do you not remember anything? It was your fault that everything from that point on happened that way. If you had just shut up about that one joke, Maur never would have existed.

It was mostly your fault, because you can't shut your damned mouth."

[Vespe Ratavo]

There, it's done.
Vespe checks out his past.
Not bad, a little angsty though.
It fits though.
True, true.

[Lord Magtok]

"Do you not remember anything? It was your fault that everything from that point on happened that way. If you had just shut up about that one joke, Maur never would have existed.

It was mostly your fault, because you can't shut your damned mouth."

"I was hiding from Ayya, damn it! She wanted to braid my hair!"

Umm...it was Ayya's fault! Not mine! She's guilty! That pink-haired demon is the one to blame!

[Saurous]

"Y'know, thinking back on all the events from then, I don't know if I should punch you in the face, or thank you for it.

Perhaps I could do both."

[Mr. Moon]

Umm...it was Ayya's fault! Not mine! She's guilty! That pink-haired demon is the one to blame!

"Excuses, excuses." Moon Called smiles.

[Lord Magtok]

Shut up. Shouldn't you be off fighting some paladin or something? You finished your montage already.

[Mr. Moon]

"Actualy, I haven't. Saphire hasn't finished drawing it yet, and she doesn't like Rex's version. And I really doubt I'm strong enough to take him on."

[Saurous]

"Just like almost every other plot that involves leaving the base around here, it's probably never going to happen."