Things I May No Longer Do While Playing X: Bard is not a valid choice

[Roughishguy86]

* May never again play a bard who casts sanctuary every combat and sings a narrative song of what is happening around him.
* May never again play a half orc barbarian who carries a barstool and asks every npc too read it too him.

[Roughishguy86]

*Cannot thunderstone the parties rogue everytime he attempts too steal something( even if my paladdin thinks its totally justifiable). apparently its a d*** move.

[Silus]

*I may no longer, nor never, make a World of Darkness character based on, inspired by, or from Welcome to Night Vale.

[GorinichSerpant]

*I may no longer, nor never, make a World of Darkness character based on, inspired by, or from Welcome to Night Vale.

**I cannot make a campaign based, or inspire or even vaguely related to Welcome to Night Vale.
***Can not also reveal it to be an SCP campaign
****The Wanderer's Library isn't also L Space and the Library of Babel
*****The supernatural things in the world are not explained by Magical Realism
******Even if that's more realistic and sustainable then the Masquerade.

[Rater202]

If at any point in time it would be most accurate to measure my melee range in astronomical units, I stop counting as human-sized unless I've got a very good explanation.

[Lord Raziere]

* The BBEG is to never again be a redeemable CG Bard
** Especially if have a colorful band of individualistic followers loyal to him due to his incredibly high charisma
*** Extra double especially if there is one traitor amongst them that is a NE only out for their own gain but lies to seem like she is selfless
**** The BBEG is especially not a bard with a pink mohawk and a famous celebrity
***** and his final form is not disco clothes and a rainbow mohawk while the moon is turned into a disco ball
****** his followers cannot be any of the following: the worst singer in the world, a soda connoisseur, a violinist with a incredibly long name who insists upon always be referred to it in full, a rock'n'roll barbarian, a crazy drug dealer, a priest who worships every single religion that ever exists, explosive graffiti artists, a break-dance martial artist, two lesbian skater chicks, a psychopathic yandere fan girl of the BBEG that he himself fears
******* seriously was I on drugs when I made this arc?
******** The only drug I am on is IMAGINATION!

[cavalieredraghi]

It was a good arc!

[goto124]

* The BBEG is to never again be a redeemable CG Bard

** What part of Big Bad Evil Guy do you not understand?
*** The Evil part, of course!

****** explosive graffiti artists

******* Cannot claim they are the pinnacle of Explosive Runes.


* The cupid I'm designing cannot shoot arrows that deal actual damage, and rely on direct-to-the-heart pain to somehow trick unfortunate receivers into thinking they've fallen in love.
** Cupid arrows cannot rely on video game health (points) just to avoid killing receivers.
*** This is not how you subvert One True Love.
**** This is also not how you deal with being at the bottom of the previous page.

[Erth16]

*This does not happen everytime my cleric casts a spell.
** Not even if he's a cleric of Thor.
***Still no if he's also dwarven.

*I am not to try and make an excuse for why i'm stealing a mace in a danganronpa based setting.
**I do not need the mace to smash my potato chips into a smoothie.
***Especially if I begin loudly smashing the chips at 4AM and wake the other 6 who were still asleep.
****I do not know the exact height, blood-type, body sizes, age, and occupation of someone by licking the blood off of their footprint.
*****Especially if it's someone else's blood.

[DigoDragon]

* I am no longer allowed to lose an argument against my reflection.
** Even if he has a good argument, Timing is not 9/10th the law. That's Possession.
*** No, being possessed by the Mesopotamian deity Tiamat doesn't count.
**** My reflection is no longer allowed to make shipping suggestions for my character.
***** At no point do I succeed in throwing my reflection out of the kitchen, even if I nat-20 the grapple check.

[goto124]

***** At no point do I succeed in throwing my reflection out of the kitchen, even if I nat-20 the grapple check.

****** No sexist jokes regarding the kitchen.
******* How would that even make sense?

[Anonymouswizard]

****** No sexist jokes regarding the kitchen.

****** Cannot tell women to get out of the kitchen.

[braveheart]

*May no longer run shirtless to the action, because i just woke up
**May no longer upon seeing a child severely injured tie him to my dragon and send it to his parents
***then carry his dog back on foot
****while still shirtless and now covered in child & dog blood
*****then run off to chase their attackers
***** *God D*** IT put a shirt on

[Anonymouswizard]

* When playing a low Dexterity character cannot attempt to charge across the table and the leap and break the door.
** When the engineer comes along and lifts the false door away from the wall cannot charge back across the table to try and break the other door.
*** Cannot come to the conclusion 'why take a hammer and overconfidence if you're not going to hammer the thermite-covered door?'

[Rater202]

From a game basd on Soul Eater

*If at any point in time my character can answer the question "what happens if a Demon Weapon eats 100 evil witch souls" with "me," he's retired.
**Assuming it does anything.
***If anything, it would just make him a Death Scythe.

[Belac93]

*May no longer kill the CR 17 BBEG at level 4, solo. (this actually happened.)

*May no longer play gnomes with illusions spells.
**This now also extends to evocation spells.
***Any spellcasting gnome is vetoed.

*Not allowed to fluff the bards vicious mockery as describing all the horrible tortures he is going to do to his enemy.

[Anonymouswizard]

Warforged don't exist in the setting used, so:

* My Oath of Devotion Paladin cannot be a 35 year of prematurely graying veteran of several wars.
** Despite all this he cannot have the personality of a knight in shining armour.
*** He did not disown his own family to join the army and fight in defence of his country.
**** Cannot have a character description that details the gauntlet on his shield and the polished shine of his armour.

[goto124]

*May no longer run shirtless to the action, because i just woke up

** Must not assume you were shirtless OOCly.
*** May not ask how your groupmates would react if you attended game sessions shirtless.

*** He did not disown his own family to join the army and fight in defence of his country.

*** Cannot ask if you meant "parents and siblings" or "spouse^† and children".

^{† I somehow considered the possibility of this character having a husband.}

[Anonymouswizard]

*** Cannot ask if you meant "parents and siblings" or "spouse^† and children".

^{† I somehow considered the possibility of this character having a husband.}

**** May not reply 'parents and siblings, he's not interested enough for the latter'.

[ericgrau]

* I may not spam shield other on the entire party so they can survive certain doom at my expense.
** "I can only do it once" has not been a valid justification for this kind of tactic ever since Bugs Bunny overdid it.

[Anonymouswizard]

* The army is assumed to carry more weaponry than just spears, arquebuses, and daggers.
** Because the PCs would like to beat a group of soldiers at some point.
*** Cannot respond to this by having a group of Royal Halberdiers come to the city.
**** What part of 'king's elite Halberd users' does not imply 'able to beat a PC one on one'?
***** The PC mage should not be taken out of the fight by a few spells from an Inquisitor.
****** When planning Anima: Beyond Fantasy sessions I must remember that my groups don't optimise.

[Roughishguy86]

*My halfling at no point should become the arm wrestling champion of the world.......

[Anonymouswizard]

* No matter what the rules say, I cannot combine Ki Attacks and arquebus fire.
** Especially if all my Ki Attacks only increase my weapon's accuracy and damage.
*** There are no secret schools of Technicians who religiously train with firearms.
**** If they did they'd use pistols!

* Cannot point out the logistical problems with dual-wielding matchlock pistols.

* If my solution to every problem is to engage at maximum range the GM will confiscate my arquebus.

[Rater202]

Freeform game set in the Exalted setting using a combination of 2E and 3E fluff.

*As a lunar, I can learn all of the natural abilities of my animal form and all of the magic tricks a Solar could teach them if I train the form hard enough. I can not, however, train my raptor form so that it might breath underwater.
**While I may,. if I so cheese, become a chimera, I can not just graft the traits of literally every creature/monster/muant I eat onto my Totemic form just so I don't have to train up more than one form.
***At no point can I be more of an eldritch Abomination than the Raksha Noble going on 2E fluff.

[eru001]

* every wall does not contain a " hidden doorway yearning to break free of it's cruel brick and mortar shackles"
** it i choose to believe that this is the case it makes me a vandal not a freedom fighter
***I may not play a barbarian who is addicted to powdered drink mixes
****I am not the kool aid man and may not enter buildings in this fashion.

* I do not get xp for killing the moment
** nor for killing the joke

*Before attempting to pick a lock I should check to see if the door is actually locked
**and that there is a door there
***no a door does not magically appear and open just because I rolled a nat twenty trying to lockpick the solid brick wall

[JAL_1138]

* I do not get xp for killing the moment
** nor for killing the joke

***If my humorless, straight-laced cleric has just defeated an evil jester via an unexpected crit with a warhammer, may not quip "Well, you all know how I can kill a joke."

[Fable Wright]

* May not begin any sentences with 'Now that the tarantula is going 92 miles per hour...'
** Nor 'Well, if I turn into a land orca...'
*** Cannot turn into a magical liopleurodon to mess with some unicorns
**** My Druid is banned from using Boots of Striding and Springing.

* Not allowed to turn bear-sized 92 mile per hour tarantulas into the world's first overnight shipping company.
** Even if I plan to make a killing on muffing delivery.
*** Especially then.
**** No longer allowed to host spider bake sales
***** The DM has not played Undertale; Muffet references are lost on him.

[goto124]

****** This is not how you convince the DM to play Undertale.
******* Do you still want your game to continue, or distract the DM with Undertale?

[Draconium]

********I should not invert this situation - as in, be the DM when I know non of my fellow players know squat about Undertale, then riddle the world with references.
*********Especially if I know the PC's are going to murderhobo their way through the world, allowing me to effectively recreate a Genocide route.
**********Making the first actual threat they face be a spear-wielding Paladin (of Freedom) fish-woman with Battle Against a True Hero as her theme song is not a homage, it's just ripping off the game.
***********If the final boss is an uber-powered (and cheating) skeleton, he should not have any levels of Paladin himself.
************I cannot do this just to describe his Aura of Good as the party "feeling their sins crawling on their back," no matter how awesome it would be.

[Anonymouswizard]

* Halfway through the session is not the best time to reveal that my Cleric hasn't memorised Cure Wounds.
** Especially when the party asked for a healer.
*** Cannot ask how I'll cast buffs if all my slots are used for Cure Wounds.
**** May not cast Ray of Enfeeblement on the Barbarian for stealing my sandwich.