Things I May No Longer Do While Playing X: Bard is not a valid choice

[AtlasSniperman]

* May not make villains inspired by creepypastas
** Especially "The song and dance man"
*** Absolutely not if it would cause nightmares in several of the adult players
**** And even if I do, never may I play quiet instrumental music on a loop as I describe the horror.

[Roughishguy86]

* May not pay the fire giant we just encountered a large sum of gold to chase down and capture the parties wizard who ran away in fear.
* Especially not if I just intend to kill the giant as soon as I have my wizard back.

[JAL_1138]

*If I ever come into possession of a Deck of Many Things, the DM does not expect me to immediately encase it in solid lead and chuck it into the ocean.
**Even if it's the only safe thing to do.

[Fable Wright]

*If I ever come into possession of a Deck of Many Things, the DM does not expect me to immediately encase it in solid lead and chuck it into the ocean.
**Even if it's the only safe thing to do.

***May not suggest that you're only throwing it into the ocean to try and get the sea monsters to start drawing cards.

[JAL_1138]

***May not suggest that you're only throwing it into the ocean to try and get the sea monsters to start drawing cards.

****It should keep them occupied while they try to get through the lead brick, then take out a few of them.

[Rerem115]

***May not suggest that you're only throwing it into the ocean to try and get the sea monsters to start drawing cards.

****Cthullu is not allowed to draw from a deck of many things.

[JAL_1138]

****Cthullu is not allowed to draw from a deck of many things.

*****May not speculate that Cthulhu slumbers in sunken R'Lyeh because he drew the Donjon card.

[ORione]

* Being cuter will not make monsters hit me less hard.

[sengmeng]

*if I ever regain my called shot privileges, the acceptable phrasing is "I make a called shot to the groin" not "I kick him square in the nads."

[Anonymouswizard]

* May not abuse shapeable effects to burn messages into skyscrapers.
** If I need to send a message, I must either buy or borrow a phone.
*** May not use extra effort just to burn a mark onto the body of every supervillian we defeat. I can just take an alternate effect or a one point feature.

* May not heat the air around myself just to save money on heating the base.

* May not burn a hole into the window just to avoid being seen entering the team headquarters.
** May not request that a window be left open just for this reason, I can get in via the roof like all the other fliers (EDIT: literally 3/4 of the team has bought flight, and the fourth can probably jump up, we only need a lift so the staff can get in).

[DigoDragon]

* Curmudgeon is an attitude, not the source of my stat buffs.
** My character cannot have a +5 bonus to magical identification checks just because his wife is a unicorn.
*** I may no longer have Dispelling Head-Slap of Parental Authority as an Extraordinary ability.
**** Leomund's Tiny Hut's is not to be used for grounding other party members for misbehaving.
***** I'm also not allowed to Disjunction magical effects with my fist.
****** I'm banned from creating the character class "Papa Wolf".

[goto124]

** My character cannot have a +5 bonus to magical identification checks just because his wife is a unicorn.

*** Must check which game Digo is talking about before replacing 'wife' with 'fiancée'.

* There is no reason for any of my characters to say "you and your heteronormative assumptions..."

[Anonymouswizard]

* There is no legitimate reason for our characters to comment on who's playing them in the in-universe out-of-universe movie.
** Or the cartoon for that matter.

[DigoDragon]

*** Must check which game Digo is talking about before replacing 'wife' with 'fiancée'.

It's an older version of the character you're thinking about. One that has now been married for years and raised three kids (two are old enough to leave the nest).

* There is no reason for any of my characters to say "you and your heteronormative assumptions..."

Well it's correct in this specific case.

* There is no legitimate reason for our characters to comment on who's playing them in the in-universe out-of-universe movie.
** Or the cartoon for that matter.

*** What about the Broadway play?

[JAL_1138]

*If my Bard is outdamaging the Fighter, and has the same AC, something has gone horribly wrong.
**The two levels of Paladin don't mean something hasn't gone horribly wrong.
***It hurts the Goliath's pride when the Half-Elf hits harder in melee.

[goto124]

leave the nest).

* Earth ponies do not live in nests.
** Pegasi do not live in nests.
*** Pegasi do not have elaborate courting rituals involving the building of nests.

Well it's correct in this specific case.

It wasn't supposed to be related to the pony family. I'd meant more generally - for example, when someone is surprised at the idea of girls being attracted to other girls. These days, I would be surprised at that someone's surprise, if that makes sense

I'll have to wait for an appropriate moment to pop that phrase again, but I don't want to stomp over the experiences of other players... looks like I have to be patient.

[DigoDragon]

*If my Bard is outdamaging the Fighter, and has the same AC, something has gone horribly wrong.

** You're probably playing D&D 3.x

*** Pegasi do not have elaborate courting rituals involving the building of nests.

**** So that's not what they meant by a 'nest egg'? :3

It wasn't supposed to be related to the pony family. I'd meant more generally - for example, when someone is surprised at the idea of girls being attracted to other girls. These days, I would be surprised at that someone's surprise, if that makes sense

That makes sense, yeah.

[Anonymouswizard]

* May not give my superhero shipping based powers.
** Even if all I can do with it is set people up with the partner I prefer, Mind Control is still unethical.

[2D8HP]

These days, I would be surprised at that someone's surprise, if that makes sense .

So that's a thing now?!
Huh.....
Well that explains so much!
KIDDING!

[JAL_1138]

** You're probably playing D&D 3.x

5e, actually, but I took 2 levels of Paladin, so I can Smite.

[Anonymouswizard]

* Telekinesis is not a valid reason to dump Strength.
** 'The ability to levitate several battleships at once' is not a valid reason to drop Strength.
*** If I am able to casually levitate the city into orbit I have enough ranks in Telekinesis (we worked out that you could probably do it with somewhere between 37 and 40 ranks, but you'd need some way to keep it all together).
**** Superman is not to be considered a 'mildly above average' example of strength.

* Cannot take lyrics from The Hero as my complications.
** 'Power, get the power' is not a valid motivation.

[CrazyPenguin]

*I will discourage players from solving all problems (even basic social ones) with large amounts of fire and/or violence
**Especially if I'm the DM

[JAL_1138]

*I will discourage players from solving all problems (even basic social ones) with large amounts of fire and/or violence
**Especially if I'm the DM

*May not claim that any problem is solvable with enough explosives in the right place.
**It may not be a good solution, but the problem in question will cease to matter.
***Or, with enough explosives of sufficient power, cease to be matter.
**** "It worked for Old Man Henderson" is not a valid justification for anything.

[CrazyPenguin]

**** "It worked for Old Man Henderson" is not a valid justification for anything everything.

Fixed this for you.

[goto124]

So that's a thing now?!
Huh.....
Well that explains so much!
KIDDING!

* Must not fail to get the joke.

**** Superman is not to be considered a 'mildly above average' example of strength.

***** Cannot ask "which version of Superman?"

[Khaiel]

* If at any point, while talking on character, I perform more than one JoJo-dachi per word, my JoJo-dachi privileges will be revoked.
** When the above happens, I should get an appointment with a chiropractor.

Related to the above:

* Any character concept involving four or more of the following is vetoed: Futurama, JoJo's Bizarre Adventures, Bobobo, Steven's Universe, MLP, TFS, Ghostbusters, Accountants, Phoenix Wright, Legal Consultants, Scientists.
** Any character concept involving three or less of the above will be heavily examined before it is accepted.
*** If at any point a character involving three or less of the above starts making references to other materials of the above list, I should not be surprised when bad things start happening.

[Rerem115]

*Not allowed to base a character off Katia Managan
**Or gro-Upp
***Especially not Asotil
****Not allowed to reference Prequel any more.

[Knitifine]

*Not allowed to romance Lamashtu.
**Or Lolth.
***Romancing chaotic evil goddesses is strictly forbidden.
****Not allowed to romance eldritch abominations to skirt around the previous rulings.

*Not allowed to turn Forgotten Realms into Eberron
**Not allowed to turn Eberron into Dark Sun
***If I'm using a campaign setting it may not crossover with another temporally.
****Even if it makes more sense than the established timeline.

[Anonymouswizard]

* May not spend a hero point to cut off the villain's cloak.

* Yes, I can take 'prone to collateral damage' as a complication.
** Yes, I can also have 'flair for the dramatic' as one.
*** Dramatically causing collateral damage does not get me two Hero Points.

* May not name my drones after the other players.
** The solution to my slow movement speed is not 'Geoff the travel drone', who carries people and objects to their destination.
*** Especially when I have a motorbike.

* May not be so vain that I constantly control the flow of my hair and cape via telekinesis.

[Knitifine]

One for Dragonlance.

*Even if it's true to the books, my neutral evil elf cannot be the most level headed member of our party.