Magic the Gathering XXII: Where Puns Go to Die

[Fable Wright]

With regards to green acceleration, I'm currently mono-colorless for consistency and I can't see a way to splash green in this list without losing that consistency.

Replacing 1-2 Street Wraiths with Chromatic Star or Mishra's Bauble might be feasible, if I had a reason to.

And again, I've replaced enough Artifacts that Frogmite will often cost 3+. Is there a better spell to run in that slot?

The Green is surprisingly easy to get. You have Dryad Arbor already. Add in 4 Chromatic Stars and 4 Chromatic Spheres to replace Frogmites and Street Wraiths, and you have 12 sources. Replace Zoetic Caverns (which are in the same Gray Ogre territory as Frogmite) and Memnite with (Exploration or Summer Bloom) and Life From the Loam, and add 4 Treetop Villages to the list to replace Dread Statuary with a trampler.

The net effect is 20 Green sources, far more cantrip potential, a spell that basically turns one draw per turn into three draws per turn at the cost of 2 mana, and explosive growth potential (either fairly consistently getting 5 lands on turn 2 or playing 2 lands per turn for the rest of the game starting on turn 2). Great consistency, with a lot more raw power in the list.

[Bucky]

I think Treetop Village is a reasonable suggestion and might even swap it in for Spawning Bed. On the other hand, I like Zoetic Caverns because it can ramp into my virtual 6-drops.

I don't see why Life from the Loam is a good idea. I get that it's supposed to be a late-game plan, recurring Castles and Foundries, or traded creatures. But it's only really great if my opponent's directly killing manlands, which means I can't count on Dryad Arbor.

Also, I'm worried that so many Spheres will be dead weight, even more so than the Frogmites (which can literally always be played by turn 5) or Street Wraiths (which don't cost mana to cycle).

So I guess I'm down to asking for Frogmite replacements. (Hangerback Walker?)

[Fable Wright]

I don't see why Life from the Loam is a good idea. I get that it's supposed to be a late-game plan, recurring Castles and Foundries, or traded creatures. But it's only really great if my opponent's directly killing manlands, which means I can't count on Dryad Arbor.

So, the big thing about Life from the Loam is that it has Dredge 3. On average, that will be 2-3 lands that have not been on the board yet. Then you cast Life from the Loam and get 2 lands off the top that you'd otherwise never have seen.

Also, I'm worried that so many Spheres will be dead weight, even more so than the Frogmites (which can literally always be played by turn 5) or Street Wraiths (which don't cost mana to cycle).

Spheres cost {1} to cast, and then cycle for free. I'm... not really convinced that your deck's curve is tight enough that one mana is going to be decisive, and there's a very good chance that paying {2} for 2 more cards is going to be better than paying 4 life. Plus, lategame, you won't wind up drawing them—dredging Life to dig for more lands means that there's no risk of drawing into unwanted Spheres. (And Life digs into additional Green sources, too, which is also nice.)

[Bucky]

With 48 lands, the deck doesn't have any trouble hitting its land drops without Loam.

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Perhaps I should explain the "rather unusual format". The main feature is that your opponent gets to dictate your draws. So if I load up on 8 spheres, I will end up with an opening hand of 7 spheres every game and miss my first two land drops.

This deck is designed to fill the aggro niche. The opponent can't starve it of lands without getting beat down by Memnites and Frogmites, but if they try to flood it, they take a very resilient beatdown from manlands instead. They can slow the deck down by giving it only lands with expensive activations, though.

[Fable Wright]

With 48 lands, the deck doesn't have any trouble hitting its land drops without Loam.

...So, um. It's not for hitting land drops. It's for picking your land drop from three options. Let me give you an example. Your board has a Dryad Arbor, Inkmoth, and a Blinkmoth nexus. Your hand is Mutavault, three Spawning Beds, Stalking Stones, and Gargoyle Castle. You dredge Life from the Loam and it puts a Westvale Abbey, Mishra's Factory, and Treetop Village into your graveyard. Then you can cast it and pick exactly which of those three lands you want to play this turn. It's not for ensuring land drops, it's for increasing land drop quality.

Perhaps I should explain the "rather unusual format". The main feature is that your opponent gets to dictate your draws. So if I load up on 8 spheres, I will end up with an opening hand of 7 spheres every game and miss my first two land drops.

Ah. THAT would have been useful information and completely changes the dynamic of... literally everything about suggestions. So, right now, your hands usually look like 3 Spawning Beds and 4 Street Wraiths? Then after going down to 12 life, it looks like 4 Spawning Beds and 3 Stalking Stones? I'm... not actually sure what your meta looks like. Is that a good hand? What kind of clocks are you dealing with? This is necessary information for figuring out how to even suggest things.

[Bucky]

Right now the meta is underdeveloped, but more or less:
*Other manland-heavy decks (though usually not as extreme as this one)
*Dredge (graveyard toolbox control)
*Decks which just plain lose to this deck's ~11 turn clock

[Fable Wright]

Right now the meta is underdeveloped, but more or less:
*Other manland-heavy decks (though usually not as extreme as this one)
*Dredge (graveyard toolbox control)
*Decks which just plain lose to this deck's ~11 turn clock

What threats does Dredge field that beat the 'get a 3-drop on turn 6+ and don't stop swinging' plan?

[Bucky]

What threats does Dredge field that beat the 'get a 3-drop on turn 6+ and don't stop swinging' plan?

Every Dredge deck has the minimal plan of recurring Stinkweed Imp or Darkblast. Some of them outright race us with a flashedback Dread Return.

[Fable Wright]

Every Dredge deck has the minimal plan of recurring Stinkweed Imp or Darkblast. Some of them outright race us with a flashedback Dread Return.

Alright. Looking at your current list, it seems to me like your main goal should be getting cheap lands that turn into small creatures in the place of lands that turn into creatures for lots of mana. To that end:

Mishra's Bauble. Run 4 in place of Spawning Bed.
God's Eye, Gate to the Reikai. Your opponent can only give you one safely, and every one after that turns into a 1/1 clock. Consider running 4 in place of Stalking Stones.
Treetop Village. Your opponent can only give you one safely, and this turns into a very nice clock. I'd run 4.
Pendlehaven. I'd run 1, because they can't give it to you if you've got Treetop Village, and it pumps Dryad Arbor/Memnite/Westvale Tokens.
Endless One. This will be strictly better than Frogmite in pretty much all scenarios, unless your opponent gives you all your Memnites. In which case, you won.

At this point, your worst hand is Treetop Village, God's Eye, 4x Street Wraith -> Mishra's Bauble -> 4x Westvale Abbey or Gargoyle Castle. Already a pretty big improvement, no?

[tgva8889]

So your opponent dictates all of your draws? Do they dictate anything else in this strange format?

[mythmonster2]

We've got our new planeswalker for Conspiracy 2... aaaand she's a Ghostbuster. Seems pretty cool.

[Bucky]

So your opponent dictates all of your draws? Do they dictate anything else in this strange format?

Any time an unknown card from your library is revealed to someone, they choose what it is. So Dredge doesn't get to dredge random cards, but if a card was somehow put on top of your library and then drawn, it's still the same card.

If you try to start a group for this format, I'd suggest altering it so that each player starts with a basic land of their own choice on the battlefield, which opens the format up somewhat.

---
I decided to add a Fetchland-for-Arbor package, resulting in this list:

Spoiler: deck

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4 Blinkmoth Nexus
4 Inkmoth Nexus
4 Mutavault
4 Mishra's Factory
4 Dryad Arbor
4 Zoetic Caverns
4 Dread Statuary
4 Gargoyle Castle
4 Westvale Abbey
4 Stalking Stones
4 Misty Rainforest
4 Treetop Village

4 Endless One
4 Memnite

4 Street Wraith

[Zombimode]

Rules question:

Consider the following gamestate:

Opponent has of a couple of tapped basic lands, no cards in hand and a Vizzerdrix in play. It has just been declared as an attacker.
On my side there is another Vizzerdrix owned by my opponent but enchanted with an Abduction controlled by me. It is untapped. I also have two untapped Islands and a Boomerang in hand.

I declare my stolen Vizzerdrix to block the attacking Vizzerdrix. The opponent says "Sure" and passes priority. I cast Boomerang on the Abduction.

What happens exactly and why?

[Elvaris]

You will take no damage, and your opponent will control two Vizzerdrixes.

Relevant rule:
506.4. A permanent is removed from combat if it leaves the battlefield, if its controller changes, if it phases out, if an effect specifically removes it from combat, if it’s a planeswalker that’s being attacked and stops being a planeswalker, or if it’s an attacking or blocking creature that regenerates (see rule 701.12) or stops being a creature. A creature that’s removed from combat stops being an attacking, blocking, blocked, and/or unblocked creature. A planeswalker that’s removed from combat stops being attacked.

Thus the attacking Vizzerdrix will still be considered blocked, but the blocking Vizzerdrix will be removed from combat as soon as the Abduction leaves play and it is returned to its owner. So it will deal no damage in combat and neither creature will die.

Boy am I glad combat damage doesn't go on the stack any more.

[tgva8889]

Starting with a land at least allows you to play colored spells ever instead of never.

[Comissar]

Quick rules question. If my opponent were to cast Collected Company, what's the latest point I can cast Hallowed Moonlight to have the creatures be exiled. Do I cast it in response to their cast? Can I wait until they've declared the creatures they're choosing? Reason I ask - ideally I want to be able to exile the two creatures as well as waste the Collected Company. If they can just go 'ok, I choose nothing' in response to my cast, it's a bit disappointing.

[Binks]

You will receive priority immediately after they put the Collected Company on the stack.
- If you choose to cast Hallowed Moonlight at that time your opponent can choose simply to put all the cards on the bottom, wasting the company but exiling nothing.
- If you choose to pass and allow Collected Company to resolve you will have to wait until the entire card effect has been resolved and the creatures have entered play before you receive priority again. Casting Hallowed Moonlight at that point will not 'go back in time' and exile the creatures.

So there is no way for you to wait and see what creatures your opponent will pick before casting Moonlight.

[Comissar]

That's a pity. Had a feeling that'd be the case, though. At least I can take comfort in sending the cards to the bottom

[Dhavaer]

First Conspiracy spoiler:

Spoiler

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Cool minus abilities and an interesting way of replenishing loyalty counters. Going straight into my Oloro superfriends.

[Ninjaman]

That's a pity. Had a feeling that'd be the case, though. At least I can take comfort in sending the cards to the bottom

You've just spent a two mana card on countering a four mana card and your card even replaced itself, that is very much a win.

First Conspiracy spoiler:

Spoiler

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Cool minus abilities and an interesting way of replenishing loyalty counters. Going straight into my Oloro superfriends.

I like it!

[Bucky]

First Conspiracy spoiler:

Spoiler

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Cool minus abilities and an interesting way of replenishing loyalty counters. Going straight into my Oloro superfriends.

Does this do what I think it does with...

Spoiler

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Oath of Liliana and Oath of Chandra?

[Tesla_pasta]

Does this do what I think it does with...

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Oath of Liliana and Oath of Chandra?

Absolutely yes. Kaya is a weird design, but I really like her.

[ChaosOS]

However, she isn't standard legal, so you'd be comboing her with the oaths in Legacy/Vintage/EDH

[Tesla_pasta]

However, she isn't standard legal, so you'd be comboing her with the oaths in Legacy/Vintage/EDH

I like her in the planeswalker commander deck since she can lock down a single creature for a very very long time, and then once you've wrath'd or set up blockers, you can start to grind out serious card advantage. The life drain ability kinda sucks in EDH, but switching between -2 and 0 will make her worth while.

[Bucky]

However, she isn't standard legal, so you'd be comboing her with the oaths in Legacy/Vintage/EDH

I guess I can use her to slide out my own creatures to trigger Oath of Druids. Beyond that she... lets me self-damage for Oath of Mages?

Also, when did Lim-Dûl join the Gatewatch?

[Androgeus]

Also, when did Lim-Dûl join the Gatewatch?

Lim-Dûl is a hipster, he was part of the gatewatch before it even existed.

[tgva8889]

Two things that were recently pointed out to me which I thought were clever, one is a spoiler for the Conspiracy spoiler.

1) The two beings on Innistrad that were not affected at all by Emrakul's influence were Sigarda and the Geist of St. Traft, both of which in their original appearances had Hexproof. Kinda cool.

2)

Spoiler

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Kaya has no abilities which increase her loyalty because she doesn't actually have loyalty to anyone in the conflict. She can replenish her loyalty, but she doesn't actually increase it because she shows no loyalty to you if you choose to call her to battle. She's there to do her job, that's it.

[Randomguy]

I have a rules question that stems from this bit:

509.3. Third, for each blocking creature, the defending player announces that creature’s damage assignment order, which consists of the creatures it’s blocking in an order of that player’s choice. (During the combat damage step, a blocking creature can’t assign combat damage to a creature it’s blocking unless each creature ahead of that blocked creature in its order is assigned lethal damage.) This turn-based action doesn’t use the stack.

So suppose I have a 3/5 creature that is being blocked by a 4/4 creature and a 2/1 creature. I choose that the damage assignment order be the 4/4 creature first, and then the 2/1 creature. So my creature would only take 4 damage, since the 2/1 creature wouldn't get to damage it, of the bolded part of the rule and because the 4/4 creature didn't get assigned lethal damage?

[Fable Wright]

I have a rules question that stems from this bit:



So suppose I have a 3/5 creature that is being blocked by a 4/4 creature and a 2/1 creature. I choose that the damage assignment order be the 4/4 creature first, and then the 2/1 creature. So my creature would only take 4 damage, since the 2/1 creature wouldn't get to damage it, of the bolded part of the rule and because the 4/4 creature didn't get assigned lethal damage?

So, the confusion you're having is that the rules text there is dealing with a very niche section of the game; namely, when a creature blocks multiple other creatures.

For example, if I had a Watcher in the Web and I was attacked by two 2/2s, I would be able to kill one of them with Watcher in the Web, but the Watcher would not be able to deal one damage to each. That is the only scenario in which the bolded text becomes relevant. In your scenario, the rule is irrelevant; if your 3/5 is blocked by a 4/4 and a 2/1, you would assign damage to the defenders in the order of your choice and your 3/5 would take 6 damage.

[Dhavaer]

Whoo! I managed to get both the combos off in my terrible Tree/Trisk/Remedy/Alliance deck in FNM tonight. Very happy, even if I went 1-1-1.