Silly Plots 2: Electric Boogaloo

[Deathkeeper]

[Ben's Place]

Ben's teeth might not be as weird as the fact that he seems to have a light in the back of his throat somewhere.
"What? How can you tell? That's like, really specific. Or do you just say that because it's what I'm saying?" he doesn't think that having a mouth for snacks would be much different than any other soft or crunchy food types like nuts.

[Halae]

[Ben's Place]

"You have a beak and molars. The type of beak is useful less for tearing meat and more for crunching on small things - nuts, popcorn, sugar bombs, seeds, that sort of thing. The molars you have would be good for grinding down tough but flexible materials, which are what are usually included in vegetables, fruits... and a lot of softer candy," Amity steps down from the place on the couch where she'd been examining the dragon's mouth, "Either you're highly herbivorous, or your metabolism works bets surviving on junk food. As I said, I've seen weirder things in my time, like people who live almost entirely off of radiation."

[Deathkeeper]

[Ben's Place]

Ben flops onto the couch again, pondering.
"So...you're saying I should try just eating what I feel like and seeing if it works?" he asks, hopeful at last. His tail snakes up towards the wall and flips a switch to turn on the popcorn machine.

Meanwhile, there's a knock on the door this time.

[Halae]

[Ben's Place]

"It's either that or seeing what a crapload of fruit and nuts do to your digestion. Try eating junk food while exercising for a couple weeks, see what your body makes of it. If you're still gaining weight, try the fruit and veggies."

Tank will slide off the couch and go to open the door for them. His massive clawed hands are surprisingly dexterous when doing so.

[Deathkeeper]

[Ben's Place]

Opening the door reveals Jeff clutching a large red book. Or, it's probably him. He has the bright green eyes, the gut, and he's the only person they've asked to fetch a book recently.
In all other respects though, he seems to have been given a rather...interesting makeover and wardrobe. He even smells of soap of all things. The moment the door's opened he springs up, twirling, prancing, and pirouetting gracelessly into the room, where he spins haplessly four times in front of Ben and falls flat on his face, holding the book up to the dragon, who can't help breaking out into giggles.
"Yep, turns out she still hates me."

[Halae]

[Ben's Place]

Amity raises her eyebrows, "So you, uh, want to explain what happened to you, Jeff? I mean, you do a mean pirouette, but you look a tad different from before, can't put my finger on it."

Tank, meanwhile, follows Jeff and is sniffing him all over, inspecting differences. He smells the same, but looks different? Jeff may be uncomfortable as Tank licks him, getting a sense for his skin texture and tastes to see if that's changed as well. He clearly recognizes that it's Jeff, but Ben and Jeff may get the sense from Amity's expression and Tank's experimenting that neither have seen this kind of transformation before.

[Deathkeeper]

[Ben's Place]

Jeff groans, getting up from the floor as Ben takes the book. He jumps five feet into the air as Tank licks him, and hastily tries to scrabble away while ripping at the fabric of the ridiculous garment the witch put him in.
"I knocked on the door, she called me a 'disgusting savage' and told me that she'd had enough with my 'antics' and told me that she'd finally make me 'presentable.' Then after she made me gain half a ton I told her I was on your business, and she bowed and scraped in your name, gave me her junior grimoire, and I asked her 'are you going to fix me?' and she said 'I already did, now go entertain his holiness' and then I had to dance back here because apparently I wasn't allowed to use my legs normally until I could make you laugh and I think she's been planning this for a really long time." he says, doing some rather impressive insulting impressions of his neighbor.
"And NOW she's cursed me with slime." he says, disgustedly wiping his brow.

"Uh, that's sweat, Jeff. Mammals make it when they exercise. Which for you means moving like, at a-OH GODS JEFF." Ben sputters as Jeff finishes tearing his way back to his original state of dress.
"Turns out having muscles rocks."

[Halae]

[Ben's Place]

Amity just closes her eyes and sighs, "You know, mammals don't have genital sheathes. It'd be nice if you didn't go around naked when a woman is in the room."

Tank tilts his head at amity, evidently not understanding why she's bothered. It's not like he's wearing anything but a bandana either.

[Deathkeeper]

[Ben's Place]

Amity shouldn't be too worried, as after a few moments Ben has thrown a tablecloth over the hapless hippo. He flails but has the decency to hold it up.
"What? Is this another weird mammal thing?" he asks, seemingly genuinely worried about offending someone, but being completely oblivious.

"Omygods Jeff. Just...tie that around you, nobody wants to see...all that, okay?"

[Halae]

[Ben's Place]

"Yes, it's a mammal thing," Amity says, opening her eyes again, "It's... exceedingly impolite to have your genitals out in the open for mammals. Given that's what you are right now, thank you for covering that up."

She shakes her head, "So, uh, how did this happen, anyways? Are you some kind of shapeshifter?"

[Deathkeeper]

[Ben's Place]

Ben and Jeff both give Amity funny looks.
"Nnnnnooooo? I told you, Marg doesn't like me and did this. She's a mean old witch of a kobold." Jeff looks to Ben, who just moves his arms in a shrug. He doesn't know; it was clear to him.

[Halae]

[Ben's Place]

"What? A witch? Like, magic and whatnot?" Amity looks at them in confusion. Normally she'd say that's impossible, but she just diagnosed a dragon and saw a lizard get turned into a hippo - it's not an impossibility, "Okay, look, Tank and I haven't even been in the... the Nexus for a month. Where I'm from this sort of thing just doesn't happen."

[Deathkeeper]

[Ben's Place]

"Well, I mean yeah, he called her a wizard five minutes ago, what did you think he meant? Do you mean they didn't give you the brochures?" It's very important that they give out the brochures to Nexus newbies! They need guidance.
"I mean yeah, I'm pretty sure Ben has it too, he's just only doing like, movie magic and stuff." Jeff says, almost wiggling his fingers until he remembers he has to keep holding the cloth up. After a few moments he successfully ties it just under his waist, though that still means that Amity has to look at his upper half. Jeff doesn't seem to mind that, though his enormous nose means he can't, and settles for poking and prodding at his soft, non-scaly self while the discussion continues.

[Halae]

[Ben's Place]

Amity rubs the bridge of her nose, Tank just lounging back. He's curious, but is just enjoying the fact that the couch is usable by him too much to share Amity's frustrations.

"Can we, I don't know, change him back? There's a way to do that, isn't there?"

[Deathkeeper]

[Ben's Place]

Ben takes up the witch's book and flips through it.
"Well, there's plenty of beings in here it suggests summoning for help. We can try to find one that's notably harmless. Here, we need candles and chalk and a surface that won't stain." he says, directing them to a supplies closet he has, digging through it for the items and another tablecloth they can use as a mat.

[Halae]

[Ben's Place]

Amity will go to help with the ingredients. She's... apprehensive about this whole thing, to say the least, but she has something of a drive to understand things, and a 'summoning' in action definitely sounds like something she'd be able to observe and take notes on.

[Deathkeeper]

[Ben's Place]

Ben draws out a basic circle on the ground and lights the candles.
"Okay, so, I'm just gonna call out the being's name and stuff, and they're supposed to come. Are you ready and stuff?" Ben asks.

[Halae]

[Ben's Place]

Amity and Tank look at each other for a moment. He's asking if they're ready?

Tank will get off the couch, and his body hands low, his arms stretched out to the side, in what the others will likely recognize as a combat stance - head low to protect his belly, arms wide for sweeps and blocking, and generally making himself look larger (despite the fact that he's already fairly massive). Amity, meanwhile, takes cover behind the couch, pulls her shotgun off her back, and gets ready to fire or hide at a moment's notice.

"We're ready!" she says.

[Deathkeeper]

[Ben's Place]

"Don't threaten them; we're asking them a favor!" Ben snaps at them, his tail lashing. Still, he reads off from the book a short verse and a few names. Namely, W, and Willow. Rather immediately, the candles blow out, their wicks growing up into...daisies?
With a burst of flower petals, a being enters the room through the circle. A large, graceful white wolf, grafted at the neck with the upper body of a pale white maiden, modesty kept by a brief top of flowers and ivy that grow on her chest. Short white hair sits on her head with a pair of wolf ears, and her pale skin is perfect in complexion. She grins wide, revealing white teeth and only slightly pronounced canines.
"Eeee~! Thanks so much, I never get summoned by people these days! And you're a dragon~ I've never actually met one." she says, leaving the circle to approach Ben and rub his nose. Though looking him over makes her frown.
"You need to lose weight if you ever want to impress any ladies."

"I know! I'm working on it. I called you for my friend, okay? Someone turned him into a hippo." Ben tells her testily, bravely letting her stroke his nose. The goddess turns to Jeff, who waves his fingers sheepishly.
"Oh, honey. That is not a good look for you. She should have made you a pig at the very least; it'd fit you better." she says, though innocently. Clearly she thinks there's nothing wrong with pigs.

[Halae]

[Ben's Place]

"Not threatening, just being prepared!" Amity says before the ritual starts, maintaining her cover.

It's when the strange wolf goddess comes into being and shows herself to be friendly that Tank and Amity let themselves relax; Tank drops his combat pose, standing upright as he watches the goddess with bewilderment, and Amity steps out to look her over, though she still totes her shotgun. Amity herself, it should be noted, still hasn't seen a shower since coming out of the Wasteland (water is irradiated, don'tcha know), has awfully cut hair, and is scrawny enough to be a beanpole if she wasn't five foot nothing and covered so heavily in clothes that you can't really see the person underneath. The goddess can likely even tell that Amity has some radiation damage to her genetic structure. Neither of them are sure what to do, as they've never encountered a woman with her legs replaced by a headless dog before.

[Deathkeeper]

[Ben's Place]

"Um yeah I'm supposed to be a kobold, Ma'am. Thanks." Jeff says quietly. Willow scoffs.
"Alright, alright, buddy. Just saying that you'd feel better that way. You have a deal in mind?" she asks. Jeff looks surprised, but Willow is distracted by Amity, and looks horrified.
"Oh Divine what has he been doing with you? You're a mess, dear. What can I do for you? You need like, four different makeovers, at least one batch of genetic healing, and better hips if you ever want to have that son." She glances at Tank. "You be you, buddy."

[Halae]

[Ben's Place]

Tank croons in appreciation. Why yes, he is entirely comfortable with how he is now.

Amity shifts uncomfortably. She clearly has some body image issues, with the way she covers herself up so completely, "Nobody's done anything with me, Ma'am. This is just how I am," No offer of a deal or anything like that Amity certainly doesn't want to get pulled into whatever... whatever this strange woman-thing wants. Talking about her having a son? Yeah, a tad weird.

[Deathkeeper]

[Ben's Place]

Willow doesn't seem happy.
Maybe someone hasn't, but something has. Your genes are all warped. And your hips aren't wide enough. I know I'm being forward, but I'm a goddess of new life and growth, and that's what my job is to worry about. Come on, let me help you. I won't even ask much from you." she says politely.

[Halae]

[Ben's Place]

"No offense ma'am, but I don't think I'd ever agree to something like that. Smacks of too good to be true, and I don't even know what you'd ask of me in the first place," Amity grips her gun a little tighter, frowning deeply at the goddess. Tank moves her head down and nuzzles Amity's cheek, which gets her to calm down a little, "yeah, you're right, I'm getting too worked up."

She clears her throat, "If my genes are messed up, it's because I grew up in an irradiated wasteland."

[Deathkeeper]

[Ben's Place]

"Ugh, then it's not just bad genes you might pass down, you're also at risk of getting cancer. Look, how about this: I'm a goddess of growth and change and stuff. I LIKE changing stuff. So I like my work, and I want to help you. So, I'll help you by giving you a healthier body, and then in exchange...hrm...I'll have you expand your horizons a bit. Oh, You have to go out on a date with someone within a month! Not a whole one if they're being like, super creepy. But a date." Willow says, laying down so her face is closer to Amity's level.

[Halae]

[Ben's Place]

"... what do you get out of the deal?" Amity asks, narrowing her eyes at the goddess.

[Deathkeeper]

[Ben's Place]

Willow groans. At this point, Ben and Jeff have formed up and are whispering something unintelligible.
"I'm a goddess of new life. And homesteads. Literally my entire reason to exist is to help life keep going, whether it's helping farmers with crops, making sure their cattle have calves properly, or making sure they have kids. So you having that kid some day and not dying in childbirth is actually something that benefits me. You believing I exist and maybe leaving a little offering at a shrine every once and a while wouldn't hurt."

[Halae]

[Ben's Place]

"Spreading you religion a little? That's all?" Amity considers that. the goddess had said she didn't get summoned all that often... was that because her cult had gotten weaker somehow? If so, that'd explain it - getting someone to raise a shrine or something was actually very good for her, as it lets her do her religious mumbo jumbo much more easily, "... Alright. I agree to your terms."

Not like it's difficult to believe someone who's right in front of you exists, after all.

[Deathkeeper]

[Ben's Place]

Willow smiles. She waves a finger, and Amity might find some of her clothes snaking off of her. She'll still be covered, just less smothered by clothes so Willow can see her handiwork. Then the goddess simply pokes her on the nose.
Amity will immediately feel energized, new, and clean, since the smell was getting on the goddess' nerves. She and her clothes will be cleaned as if she scrubbed them with nice, floral soap.
Moreover, she'll find herself becoming a new lady! Not really, she's not changing much in looks. Willow just wants her to have nice, healthy hair, so she grows that out to a nice long length so Amity can cut it to a length of her choosing. Shiny, healthy hair, healthy skin. No genetic damage, and she'll even remove any major scars. Add just a tiny bit of weight so she looks healthy and not rail-thin and starved. Give her wider hips, for aforementioned reasons. And then, Willow should make sure she can find a partner, so give her some conventional better proportions. And some more. Aaaaand some more. Hopefully Amity isn't shy because Willow has ensured she'll be getting attention. She'll also have to cannibalize some of Amity's clothes from that giant pile she calls an outfit to keep her shirt and pants and undergarments from tearing.
Though as has been mentioned before, Willow's not actually good at making clothes.
None of this should be painful to Amity, nor should the mental effects from their deal. Namely, her taste in potential partners should widen considerably (maybe even more than her hips), extending to women and humanoids of all sort of wacky shapes.

Willow just beams while Jeff and Ben gape.

[Halae]

[Ben's Place]

Amity stares down at herself as she changes. Given the new, downright overwhelming size of her chest, it'll be fairly clear that Amity hadn't been wearing a bra. Her face is a bright red blush as she looks back up at Willow, "... uh."

Well, that was eloquent. Tank croons happily and sits down beside her, licking Amity. She smells different! She tastes different!