Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition V: How dead is that corpse?

[Urzamax]

Nicholas: I swear to Trithereon, if my entire past drops on me today, I will personally go down to the Nine Hells, the Abyss, or wherever, and personally kick the ass of whoever sent them.
Later
Nicholas: I SWEAR TO ALL THE GODS OF GOOD, I WILL KICK ALL OF THE DEMON PRINCES IN THE BALLS UNTIL I GET THE RIGHT ONE.

So, I assume that his entire past not only dropped on him, but did so at supersonic iron dragon speed?

[Eno Remnant]

A) Yes he is.
B) It's kinda hard to proofread things you're making up as you go.
C) Don't really recall a rule regarding repetition for alliterations.
D) Nitpicking is not nice.

As to the first, wasn't serious Second, if he made that up off the top of his head, that's talent, repetition aside. To the third, it's a general rule in any form of writing that repeating a verb or adjective is unwieldy and detracts from its quality - which brings me to the fourth: I'm Chaotic Good; nowhere does it say I have to be nice I edit work for friends, it's instinct to correct. No disrespect intended.

So, I assume that his entire past not only dropped on him, but did so at supersonic iron dragon speed?

Not quite, but the enemy was making things very, very annoying for the party, and they weren't exactly treating his secret identity as sensitive.

[ZeroGear]

As to the first, wasn't serious Second, if he made that up off the top of his head, that's talent, repetition aside. To the third, it's a general rule in any form of writing that repeating a verb or adjective is unwieldy and detracts from its quality - which brings me to the fourth: I'm Chaotic Good; nowhere does it say I have to be nice [COLOR="#FFFFFF"]I edit work for friends, it's instinct to correct. No disrespect intended.

To be fair, it was hard to note everything down, so the repetition is more my fault than his. Plus several of us were cracking up at the time. Was rather impressive though.

[DigoDragon]

Spoiler: Responses!

Show

Nicholas: I SWEAR TO ALL THE GODS OF GOOD, I WILL KICK ALL OF THE DEMON PRINCES IN THE BALLS UNTIL I GET THE RIGHT ONE.

I hope he's got his adamantine-toed boots on.

Joey: "It's Pollo Diabolo!"

¿Que? [/Monkey Island 3]

A reference not everyone would get.

True, but those who do may find it pretty funny.

which brings me to the fourth: I'm Chaotic Good; nowhere does it say I have to be nice

Spoken like a true CG hero. :D

Moonshadow: “Another reason to not hire them is the druggie has a grudge against Enclave ponies, like Moonshadow. And trusting armed ponies with a grudge against me doesn't sound like a sound decision.”

Choro: “Get hit by a small rock! It's a free ticket to stuff from PCs!”
Doc: “Ha, no kidding. Free hat, water... what's next? Moonshadow gives her the time of day?”

GM: “Through an apparent miracle, her hair wasn't standing up, but Moonshadow saw little bolts of lightning ripple and undulate across Viridia's hair every so often.”
Viridia: “Aha, Viridia has mastered the Super Saiyan form.”

Viridia: “It was so obvious a joke that making it wouldn't have been a joke. I subverted expectations by not making a joke, which itself became the joke.”

Doc: “Step-sisters with a dead-beat dad... they're just one qualifier short of having a Disney origin story.”
GM: “They had to eat their scruffy pet dog back at Salt Lick.”
Doc: “That sounds more DreamWorks than Disney.”

[Necroticplague]

"Whoever says two wrongs don't make a right has clearly never seen our group in action. I daresay, the only time we make a right is by accident when two wrongs make it. Like that time our efforts to break into semi-organized crime lead to unraveling a sex trafficking circle."

[CrazyPenguin]

Sheogorath: "You guys are all just... terrible."
DM: "Yep."
Ella: "Was that ever in question?"

Ella: "Would you risk getting chlamydia if it meant you could hold a koala?"

[TheTeaMustFlow]

Edge_Lord: Oh, well, if it's an equal opportunity strip club, that's okay then.
Nightcore: At least it's clean. In the no organised crime sense. Not the actual clean sense.
Lobachevsky: I'm just glad we're not meeting in Reno's again. I heard someone shot a guy there, just to watch him die.
GM snickers, everyone else is silent
Lobachevsky (ooc): ...Hey, he gets it.

[Cernor]

This gem came up last session, from the party monk (with a scary scar):
"Spread the word. Nobody will teach Lorraine [a carpenter] how to bake bread, or I'll be angry."

[DigoDragon]

Choro: “Hey! No sacrificing Armoise's gang members for power! (That's Armoise's job!)”
Doc: “Behold my Doctorate and despair at your copays!”

GM: “It was like hoof-bumping a concrete brick, but it was progress.”

Northern Lights: “She's going to do what to you?”
Viridia: “Magic tricks.”

Cassidy: “You know, she wasn't this much of a baby when she got shot by the Enclave.”

GM: “The smoking lounge was filled with skeletons, and was distinctly lacking in smokes.”
Doc: “Pardon me, if I could just bum a light from you folks.” (Places flashlight in his front pocket and takes the matches)

[Inevitability]

"It's like I'm talking to the tragedy of the commons personified. And the good parts aren't personified here, just the selfish, ruin-it-for-everybody parts."

[digiman619]

"It's like I'm talking to the tragedy of the commons personified. And the good parts aren't personified here, just the selfish, ruin-it-for-everybody parts."

Sure, they're not as valuable as singles, but they are the majority of the Limited environment and are the backbone of the Peasant and Pauper formats.

[DigoDragon]

Doc: (singing to himself) “Let's go out to the kitchen, let’s go out to the kitchen, let’s go out to the kitchen, and have ourselves a snack...”

Doc: “Doc is doing a great impression of James Sutherland.”
Mouse: “I don’t think that’s something you should be proud of.”

Doc: “This was what I have been expecting Doc to see come limping out of the bloody room he encountered. He's got the flashlight, he's in a creepy hospital, there's a "faceless" nurse in the basement... just waiting for Doc to get a letter from Mirror.”
GM: “…”
Doc: “The part I find most amusing about this train of thought is that Konami's official stance has been that the UFO ending is the canon one.”
GM: “No aliens will appear in the game, just to be clear.
Choro: “... Oh you... aaaaaaaargh!” (Goes off to theorize)

Stellar: “The difference to her memories... It's like the difference between tape media and SSD. Like between watching a soft focus home video underwater and crisp, clear, UHD surround sound.”

[CrazyPenguin]

GM: “No aliens will appear in the game, just to be clear.

I'm not that familiar with Fallout: Equestria, but I know "aliens" isn't all that ridiculous a thing to happen in regular Fallout.

[Cazero]

Doc: “This was what I have been expecting Doc to see come limping out of the bloody room he encountered. He's got the flashlight, he's in a creepy hospital, there's a "faceless" nurse in the basement... just waiting for Doc to get a letter from Mirror.”
GM: “…”
Doc: “The part I find most amusing about this train of thought is that Konami's official stance has been that the UFO ending is the canon one.”
GM: “No aliens will appear in the game, just to be clear.
Choro: “... Oh you... aaaaaaaargh!” (Goes off to theorize)

Wait, I'm confused. How are the Abyss Watchers of Farron related in any way, shape or form to aliens?

[DigoDragon]

I'm not that familiar with Fallout: Equestria, but I know "aliens" isn't all that ridiculous a thing to happen in regular Fallout.

True. I think the difference is that in the original Fallout, the aliens were just a minor Easter Egg. It was in Fallout 3 that a whole DLC was dedicated to them. This DLC is usually where the contention occurs.

Wait, I'm confused. How are the Abyss Watchers of Farron related in any way, shape or form to aliens?

The Abyss Watchers look a lot like PyramidHead from Silent Hill 2. In turn, Silent Hill 2 had a secret "UFO" ending where the main character gets abducted. Getting abducted happens in a Fallout 3 DLC.

That's where the jump went from A to B to C. Flailing through that leap.

[goto124]

GM: “The smoking lounge was filled with skeletons, and was distinctly lacking in smokes.”
Doc: “Pardon me, if I could just bum a light from you folks.” (Places flashlight in his front pocket and takes the matches)

Did the skeletons rise to get their matches back?

"Hey, I asked nicely!"
"We didn't say yes. And we are not saying yes."

GM: “…”

Typical reaction of a GM

Flailing through that leap.

In FO:E, what is rolled to make a Jump check?

[ZeroGear]

@DigiDragon

...now I really want to play a Darksouls/Mlp crossover game.
Dammit, stop giving me ideas for future fan fictions(If I ever get past this writers block and finish the one I'm working on right now).

[Beacon of Chaos]

GM: Taxation through representation. And wizards.

Valana: Dace, You're in charge of stabbing.
Dace: What else is new?

GM: You are greeted by a mustachioed man in red-
Brick: Mario! :D
GM: ...wearing a powdered wig.

GM: What are you doing?
Dace: Something incredibly petty and stupid.
GM: So, business as usual then?

Dimir: *drawing* This is Terry the Triceratops. He is our mascot. I'm going to get Wax to paint this on the side of our airship. Our airship is now called the Triceratops.
Valana: I... approve!

GM: Also, please don't call the number on these business cards as it is actually my work number.
Dace: Alright, everyone take one! *passes out cards*

[DigoDragon]

Spoiler: Responses!

Show

Did the skeletons rise to get their matches back?

No, they continued to lounge around and not smoke. :3

In FO:E, what is rolled to make a Jump check?

I think either Strength or Agility is the stat used. I'd have to ask.

@DigiDragon
...now I really want to play a Darksouls/Mlp crossover game.
Dammit, stop giving me ideas for future fan fictions.

Mwahaha.

GM: Also, please don't call the number on these business cards as it is actually my work number.
Dace: Alright, everyone take one! *passes out cards*

There is a reason I use 555 for phone numbers in my RPGs. :3

Fan Knife: “Can you touch [Viridia] for a second?”
Moon: *Pokes Viridia*
GM: Moonshadow takes [28] Lightning damage from prodding Viridia.”
Moon: “Well that was shocking.”
Viridia: “So... it's an anti-groping ninjutsu?”

Viridia: “I like to imagine Fan Knife grinds her teeth down just a little more whenever we abuse her language.”

Fan Knife: “What did that feel like to you?”
Moon: “What, being in clouds or getting shocked by Viridia's lightning? Cause the latter felt like being shocked by lightning.”

[D.KnightSpider]

Gumdrop: The lack of screaming implies victory, does it not?
===

Lisa: Legally or illegally?
Ray: Pffft. Like anything we do is legal.
===

Lisa: At least with the Masked Microwave back there we don't have to worry about scrounging up an oven.
===

Ray: I have to give you guys props. You put the 'alien' in 'illegal alien'.
Matter-Horn: There is nothing alien about my majesty!
===

Lisa: If you want to get technical about it, we're all illegal aliens right now.
Ray: Then we'd better hope that in this reality... Nah, too easy.
===

Gumdrop: That plan would work perfectly-- were we in Japan.
Matter-Horn: Which we're not.
Gumdrop: ... Precisely.
===

Ray: Dang it! We should have put the corpses in the back of the van!
===

Matter-Horn: I don't like to brag, but I am perfectly fluent in canine.
===

Ray: Why do I get the feeling that we've just created a canine serial murderer?
===

Lisa: C'mere, boy, and I'll show you just how the cow jumped over the moon.

[Rysto]

Double Bluff: Say, Maccy, you ever hear of the shell game? Take a bit, put it under a shell, somepony shuffles it then you have to guess where the shell is?
Macabre Haze: Oh no! I haven't ever heard of a game played like that before. What about the bit though?

Anthracite: Somebody want to come over and watch my back and help me search inside [this cottage]?
Macabre Haze: Sure! There is probably a witch that will turn us into gingerbread ponies and devour us in there. But we'll be delicious!

Anthracite: Rolls a 2 looking for traps
DM: There is a sight on the porch that reads "Caution! Wet Paint!"
Anthracite: I try to open the door. If it can't be opened, I buck it down. Rolls an 8 for Athletics
Chase:I look for any traps or dangers.
DM: Wet white paint covers everything but the door know and doorbell.
Chase: Anthracite, I think you should avoid touching the paint. I'm probably just a bit paranoid, but I think it might be prudent to take the warning seriously ... or just kick the door down, that works too.
Adeola (OOC): Why resort to breaking and entering on the first cottage we see?

DM: Anthracite tried the doorknob, but it refused to turn. Giving it a sharp buck similarly had no effect, but as Anthracite attempted to pull back her hooves,she found a surprising amount of resistance, like she was glued to the door.
Anthracite: Fails check to get free
Double Bluff: I'll ring the doorbell, and then give Anthracite a hoof getting free.
DM: When the doorbell is pushed, Discord's laugh echos for a few seconds. Then, suddenly, the tumblers clicked behind the door, and it flung open. Good for the group as a whole, bad for Anthracite, who found her self hurling towards another sticky wall...
Anthracite: Please don't get stuck face first against the wall. Please don't get stuck face first against the wall...

Rashidi:
"If I know Discord's work, caution must reign.
All of these doors are suspect; latent traps.
We all must ask: What is the pattern here?
Also, this crystal: Does it have a clue?"
Macabre Haze: No no no.. Thats not how you're suppose to do it. Like this..
"As with all Discord's work, caution must reign.
Which doors are trapped and which does benign
We all must ask: What is the pattern here?
Seek now the task: Let Truth become clear"
Also, this crystal: Does it have a clue?
To the mystery of whats false and whats true?"
Adeola: Not all zebras speak in rhymes
Macabre Haze: Who said zebras speak in rhyme? That would be ridiculous. But no, death trap clues should be in rhyme, or some other confusing manner of speaking.

DM: Then, things began jumping through. Six grey balls of lint, moving like rabbits or rats. Every one of them aflame, and squealing in pain and fury. Once they were through, they started lashing out at the nearest pony...
DM (OOC): You see, that's what happens when you don't clean out the lint trap!

Anthracite: The important thing is that the clothes are now laying on a frayed extension cord. Logically, there's a serious risk of fire so we should probably watch out for the clothes being turned into ice-monsters or something.

[Beacon of Chaos]

Lisa: Legally or illegally?
Ray: Pffft. Like anything we do is legal.

Hehe, reminds me of another quote from the last game.

GM: You realise that doing this would be treason?
Valana: Treason? I think we are well past treason at this point.

[AdmiralCheez]

Julio: You see, I am a world-renowned musician! What is your master's favorite style of music?
Servant: Quiet contemplation.
Finley: Julio, literally nobody in the underdark wants to hear your music. You've been trying this for months.


Julio: This is either the most oddly-themed bed-and-breakfast, or our host has a demented sense of the word "guest."


DM: I went to get a beer, and you guys turned this into a bad fanfiction?
Corlan: Hey, what happens in The Tower of Vengeance, stays... yeah, we're not finishing this sentence.

[digiman619]

Lisa: C'mere, boy, and I'll show you just how the cow jumped over the moon.

[DigoDragon]

Lisa: At least with the Masked Microwave back there we don't have to worry about scrounging up an oven.

Awesome nickname right there.


Choro: “So, what do you think of the state of affairs so far, Professor?”
Strata: “The weather's about the same, and it doesn't look like there's too much traffic. The sky glowing green isn't my thing, though. Why is it doing that?”
Choro: “That's the Balefire. Specifically the Celestia National Tower. It absorbed a lot of the blast.”
Strata: “Oh. Eww, it's still standing. I'd wear sunblock while you're in sight of that thing, then.”
Choro: “What's a sunblock?”
Strata: “Actually, forget about the sunblock.”

GM: “Doc heard a pony mumble curses while accompanied by the telltale sounds of a rifle being loaded and locked.”
Doc: “I strongly suggest you not continue this path of action. Maybe you outsmarted whoever is there with you, but ain't no one who can outsmart bullet. And just at a glance, we got a lot of those on this side of the door.”

Doc: “If you're injured, I'll be more an happy to patch you up, on the condition that I put down my gun and you put down your rifle, and we do this like civilized stallions.”

Moon: “What was that about?”
Viridia: “Some scout. From the same place as the Thresher Clown. Might be worth checking there's not some kind of Pagliacci horde headed for us.”

Doc: “The mechanics of Snowflake’s mind control is we had to make a Charisma check or end up under a ‘Charm Person’ effect, believing Snowflake was Best Pony. Luckily, pain can break the effect.”
Choro: “Wouldn't that effect break immediately? The thought of liking Snowflake seems like an immediate source of pain!”

[ZeroGear]

Davis: "Remind me why we're here?"
Serrah: "Because investigating abandoned comic shops is fun?"
Merton: "And they are a breeding ground for the supernatural."
Davis: "That doesn't answer my question."

Linsey: "Where's your sense of adventure?"
Davis: "Back at home, not getting shot at."

Joey: "Cool!"
Prof. Mason: "Find something my boy?"
Joey: "Yeah, an issue of the 'Groove Group' comics!"
Serrah: "That title sounds kinda cheesy."
Davis: "It's from the 50's, everything had 50% more cheese back then."

Joey: "Odd, why are these pages blank?"
Merton: "Maybe you should put that down before something happens."
Joey: "Like what?"
DM: Right about now, you start noticing a strange pull coming from the blank pages.

Davis: "So, we're in the comic?"
Merton: "It appears so. This kinda reminds me of a few episodes from the BeatleBorgs series."
Serrah: "What happened?"
Merton: "Well..."
Davis: "In the series."
Merton: "Have I really become that predictable?"

Prof. Mason: "I take it that we shall be able to escape by finishing the story."
Serrah: "And I guess we do that by beating the big bad."
Linsey: "Who's that?"
DM: Right as you finish those words, a loud cackle emanates from one of the nearby buildings. A lean fellow, garbed in a yellow zoot suit with stylized lips stretching between his shoulders, emerges from the alley way. A golden crown rests upon a head of slick black hair, and his green eyes gleam with maliciousness. In his hand he holds a walking cane with a megaphone where the head should be.
BBEG: "Look out Tune City, for today marks the beginning of my reign of terror! Prepare yourselves! Grovel before your new master! Bow to the rule of THE CRINGELORD!"
Davis: "You can't be serious."

Serrah: "Joey, you know all about this series, what's this guy's power?"
Joey: "He has the power to paralyze you by making horrible puns."
Prof. Mason: "That doesn't sound too bad."
DM: *Grins and pulls out a composition book labeled 'Puns and Jokes'*
*Beat*
Serrah: You need a new hobby.

[One Pun-Filled Adventure Later...]

Merton: "Looks like we got out of the comic."
Prof. Mason: "Although, this doesn't look like the comic shop."
Joey: "Great, where are we now?"
Herman Toothrot: "Dang monkeys! Get back here with my banana picker!"
*Beat*
Davis: "Noooo!"

[Khaiel]

Lately we've started a new Anima campaign. It's been fun.

Dereck: "All hail the Almighty Nail!"

Pietric: "I have a plan."
Anthony: "That's good."
Pietric: "You will be the bait."
Anthony: "And like that, you've lost me."

Dereck: "Damn, I sprained my ankle. Can you help me walk?"
Pietric: "Anthony is bleeding to death, can't you wait?"
Dereck: "Drama queen..."

[CrazyPenguin]

DM: "Beating improve morale."

DM: "Shove a chainsaw up your a** and turn it on."

---

Nirvele: "What's your enema banner look like?"

Burning Sunset: "Okay, who do I need to passive-aggressively b**** at to get this f***ing campaign going again?"

[Inevitability]

"Just... just learn the difference between 'panty' and 'pantyhose'. That's all I'm asking."

"And so, the crossdressing dwarf faces off against the demon."

[Sith_Happens]

Hello thread, long time no see.

DM: [Describing the courtyard, offhandedly mentions a gazebo]
Shonen (OOC): "You had better not be doing what I think you are."
Dread Gazebo: [*Attacks*]
Shonen (OOC): "Dang it [DM]."

Logan (OOC): "Do they hail us as saviors? Do the women offer themselves to us and do the men wish to be us?"
Shonen (OOC): "Precisely the other way around."
Logan (OOC): "NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Shonen: "All right, who the hell is in charge here!?"
DM: "The crowd of bystanders clusters together and pushes a very scared-looking man toward you."
Shonen: "And you are?"
Headmaster: "Th- th- the headmaster?"
Shonen: [*points to the destroyed gazebo*] "And this happened on your watch?"
DM: "The headmaster stutters intensely and then faints."
Shonen: [*wakes him*] "Get up. Did this happen on your watch?"
Headmaster: "Y-yes?"
Shonen: [*slowly takes off his right gauntlet*] [Slap.avi]
DM: "He falls unconscious again."
Shonen: "You're fired." [*points to August*] "He's headmaster now, any objections?"
Elphinna: "Actually, I think I should be charge."
Shonen: [Slap.avi]

Shonen: "I catch up with Elphinna."
Elphinna (OOC): "Do I have time to do something first?"
DM: "Yes."
Elphinna: "I cast Greater Invisibility."
Shonen: "I catch up with Elphinna because True Seeing, bitch."

Logan: [*half-comprehensible rant*]
Shonen: [Slap.avi] "Grownups are talking."
Logan: [*Is ~40 years older*]

Assistant Headmaster: "Fine, I killed him, are you happy now?"
Shonen: [*Puts gauntlet back on*] [Slap.avi]

(Why yes, I did find my new favorite reaction video today.)