Schlock Mercenary VII: A T.A.D. Too Much Dialogue These Days

[halfeye]

Odds on the ship with Schlock on it getting hit and the comic ending?

[Onyavar]

In order to hit that many ships randomly in a galaxy, you'd need to fire trillions of shots.

If the unknown shooter (pa'anuri or not) can detect Transuranic Alloys (or Teraporting drives or Gravy plants) with some ultimate galaxy-wide FTL-detector, the shooting wouldn't be randomly.

Just shoot the largest target of a place that is "populated" with several targets. Wait a short while, then shoot the second largest target near the killed one.

As the long gun cannot be traced and the targets are suspicious they were targetted by one of their own, that method is guaranteed to start at least a few wars among some the targets.

Of course, if you have additional data on your targets, or if you have actually a spotter directing you, you can shoot more selectively.

[Ibrinar]

The randomness discussion started with this:

I don't get that last strip. Are they implying that the long gun shots are actually coming from the dark matter beasties who are actually trying to stop Petey's machinery in the galaxy's core from charging?

It is about trying to hit the core and accidentally hitting the ships in the process.

[Onyavar]

It is about trying to hit the core and accidentally hitting the ships in the process.

Oh now I get it. And the colonel got stuck with that extra lame joke because the other characters in that strip are supposed to be cool and/or intelligent.

[factotum]

It is about trying to hit the core and accidentally hitting the ships in the process.

Yeah, not buying it. As pointed out, the chances of hitting something else accidentally are so small that you wouldn't expect it to happen in years of shooting, much less several times within the course of a few weeks.

Also, didn't the Pa'anuri build their own core generator, which is providing more power than Petey's because Andromeda has a larger core than the Milky Way does? If it just comes down to who has the biggest guns, they're already winning that battle, they don't need long guns to tip the odds their way.

[Xanyo]

The joke is thus:

The map resembles a target on a firing range, and the the "bullet holes" are all scattered, which, in the case of a target on a firing range, would indicate that the shooter is unqualified with the weapon.

[PhantomFox]

We get that. We're debating if it's JUST a joke, or foreshadowing.

[Onyavar]

Sorlees punchline may be foreshadowing. Cause Petey went ramming speed against Andromeda, so the pa'anuri are scrambling for a hasty extinction event.

But the Colonels 'joke' is just wrong, because each Red dot stands for TWO hits. The shooter (whose only motive can be provoking galactic war, afawk) might just randomly choose the locations, but they have not missed them, and they always not-missed twice.

It's like you look at a earth map of cities with 10M inhabitants. If you draw the longlat grid, you realize that the humans missed to colonize the 0/0 coordinate in the equatorial bay of Africa. So, we humans failed to hit Earth at the critical spot.
That reasoning is akin to the Colonels joke. It's terribly lame.

[smuchmuch]

Also, didn't the Pa'anuri build their own core generator, which is providing more power than Petey's because Andromeda has a larger core than the Milky Way does? If it just comes down to who has the biggest guns, they're already winning that battle, they don't need long guns to tip the odds their way.

They don't need but they have little reason not to do it anyway, it's just good strategy. If it fails it likely cost them almost nothing since they're operating by proxies. If it works, well, they won.

To overextend the metaphor: Even if you have a bigger gun there's alway the risk they're a better shot or hurt you before they die, so why even take the risk of a duel if you can end the battle before it even started by making your opponent shoot themselves ?

[factotum]

I think the problem is that I, personally, would find it very unsatisfying if it was the Pa'anuri behind this. It doesn't seem to match up with the regular extinction events that we've been told are happening, for a start. Also, the Pa'anuri have been around for tens of thousands of years--why would they only be using long guns now?

[guttering flame]

I like today's page. Good old Schlock at his best.

As for who's behind the Longgun shots, Tayler likes intricate plots with at least 3-4 levels of puppeteers pulling the strings of other puppeteers. So that's what I expect. A race of Stupids are firing Longguns for money from randomguys that other randomguys mindcontrolled for who knows who.

[halfeye]

the Pa'anuri have been around for tens of thousands of years--why would they only be using long guns now?

Only tens of thousands? I was under the impression it was millions, and possibly billions.

[factotum]

Only tens of thousands? I was under the impression it was millions, and possibly billions.

Which just reinforces my point, doesn't it? The Pa'anuri have been around for a heck of a long time, it beggars belief that they (a) only just learned about long guns or (b) only just decided to use them now, despite the many occasions on which they would already have been useful.

[keybounce]

Odds on the ship with Schlock on it getting hit and the comic ending?

Zero. They've regrown Schlock before.

This time, they can do it better than before. Better. Stronger. Faster. Wrong show.

[guttering flame]

Zero. They've regrown Schlock before.

This time, they can do it better than before. Better. Stronger. Faster. Wrong show.

You're scaring us.

[halfeye]

Zero. They've regrown Schlock before.

Not from vapour. He's been broken into pieces and the pieces reassembled, which seems to be a pretty standard amorph ability even though other amorphs don't do it that often.

[The Glyphstone]

Not from vapour. He's been broken into pieces and the pieces reassembled, which seems to be a pretty standard amorph ability even though other amorphs don't do it that often.

But now he's got a RED backup gestalt in addition to his normal ability to recover from gross physical trauma.

[Max_Killjoy]

Schlock was restored from an external backup that Petey had previously taken after the "basejumping" incident -- the extreme impact, the extreme cold, and the grenade detonation completely erased his "chemical memory".

[Xanyo]

The moral debate about Lazarus is that it does not resurrect or restore people, particularly from higher tiers of death. Same deal with Petey's Instant Schlock^TM. It is still dying. You just make a new one.


Ah, yep. I definitely like blue kitty. I hope to see more of him.

[Onyavar]

Why do I feel that Elf will desperately need a non-disabled ship a few strips from now?

[Potato_Priest]

If elf doesn't order Schlock to hide (or at least let him do it) , then I will be somewhat annoyed at her for forgetting the ever-crucial Maxim 30.

Unfortunately, I suspect that she may order him to remain in the open just so she can feel like she controls him or to teach him a lesson.

[Max_Killjoy]

ELF has certainly made progress on her anger issues.

[HandofShadows]

Why do I feel that Elf will desperately need a non-disabled ship a few strips from now?

There's one right next door.

[keybounce]

I'll go with option B.

[HandofShadows]

Um, dead kitties walking?

[factotum]

Um, dead kitties walking?

I doubt Schlock will kill them, but he'll presumably warn Elf what's about to happen and let her decide what to do.

[Grey_Wolf_c]

I doubt Schlock will kill them, but he'll presumably warn Elf what's about to happen and let her decide what to do.

Errr... that doesn’t sound like him. Eat them and let Elf know is more his style.

GW

[Potato_Priest]

Errr... that doesn’t sound like him. Eat them and let Elf know is more his style.

GW

It probably was schlock’s style, but this amorph isn’t schlock. It’s schlock with a conscience, so in other words, a totally different person. I’m not sure what he’ll do.

[tonberrian]

Oh my god I'm crying too.

[Rockphed]

Oh my god I'm crying too.

I was hoping that Para had somehow survived (even as a headless zombie). I think what actually happened is that Para hopped out to grab the parts she wanted and told the cyborg space serpent to stay close. It moved slightly away from her, and then the ship exploded around it. Poor cyborg space serpent.