How would you describe each class to newcomers?

[Wartex1]

I'm likely to be DMing or assisting a DM in a campaign soon, but almost everyone is a new player, and I'm struggling to think of good descriptions for each class that are both mechanically accurate and thematic.

So far, I've been thinking of giving each class a short 2-3 sentence descriptor and a few characters that really exemplify the class. Some of these can be pretty difficult, like finding good examples for Cavaliers which really emphasize Challenges and Teamwork Feats.

[Karl Aegis]

Arcanist: You're like a 5e caster

[Elricaltovilla]

The cavalier is like Lu Bu from dynasty warriors (but less cool).

[Elderand]

Alchemist: Mad bomber Jekyll and Hyde.

[souridealist]

Are you using all the classes, or cutting out any of the options? I don't know the hybrid or occult classes all that well, so I can't help with those, I'm afraid. (I don't own Ultimate Intrigue either). Also, it turns out that writing a CliffNotes version of the PHB is hard.

That said, when I've been introducing people to the game, I didn't hand them every class at once. I had kind of a little questionnaire that I did to figure out what options were probably interesting to them, and then I'd hand them two or three choices.

Big questions:

Do you want mostly to hit things, cast, or both? (This was always question one.)

Cast: divine or arcane, and spontaneous or prepared? I described divine as mainly healing, buffing, support, and out-of-combat solutions, and arcane as the bigger flashier stuff. Broad strokes.
Divine/prepared: cleric, druid.
Divine/spontaneous: oracle, oracle, or oracle.
Arcane/prepared: wizard, witch, alchemist.
Arcane/spontaneous: sorcerer, bard.

Hit things:
Are we talking agile and light-footed? Rogue, ninja, monk.
Big clanky warrior devoted to a cause? Paladin, cavalier, samurai.
Battle expert? Fighter.
The Incredible Hulk with a battleaxe? Barbarian.
Aragorn son of Arathorn? Ranger.
Want a gun? Wait, am I really going to allow guns? Okay, gunslinger.

Both:
Are you sure, guys? These ones are probably the most complicated.

I want to do both!
Oookay - divine or arcane again?
Divine: inquisitor, druid again.
Arcane: summoner, magus, maybe bard if you really wanna.

If you describe the options and nothing clicks, you can go back up the list one step and try again. You can also kind of tailor it to the person you're talking to - I had one player who I knew would break out in hives just writing 'lawful' on their character sheet, so I did not bother suggesting paladin or monk.

The most important thing, I think, is to be willing to generalize. Both when I was learning, and when I've watched other people try to learn, the biggest problem is a teacher who wants to tell you everything about every possible option all at once, and it's way too much to take in. Yes, it's possible to build an unstoppable melee juggernaut out of a wizard using a lot of polymorph and summon spells, an obscure splatbook, some abuse of RAW, this one rule from 3.5 that I forgot changed in Pathfinder, and my left sock - but that's all meaningless to someone rolling their first character.

[Malroth]

Fighter: an empty chassis you put magical gear on

Ranger: Like a weaker Fighter with Stealth

Rogue: Weaker Ranger that can disable traps

Monk: Weaker Rogue who can't disable traps or use weapons.

[Wartex1]

Are you using all the classes, or cutting out any of the options? I don't know the hybrid or occult classes all that well, so I can't help with those, I'm afraid. (I don't own Ultimate Intrigue either). Also, it turns out that writing a CliffNotes version of the PHB is hard.

I'm probably going to be using all of the first-party options as well as the DSP psionics/PoW stuff.

[Starbuck_II]

Are we looking at just the classes or archetype, because a few turn things around and make it totally different.
But here is my attempt for description:
Barbarian: A warrior who can channel spirits of emotion (rage, alcohol [I mean sprits literally here)], etc) to empower his fight style. He later attains the ability to maintain combat awareness even before a fight works (uncanny dodge).
Explain: Well, archetypes like Drunken, Id psychic one, as well as Beast/Fey/others show you are really channeling spirits than just rage.

Bard: A warrior who casts spells in addition to being able to perform music that creates magical effects, even at the same time. Like the elves in LotR, music is the real magic. Also able to know and do many almost as many skills as a rogue.

[Ninjaxenomorph]

I'm probably going to be using all of the first-party options as well as the DSP psionics/PoW stuff.

Akashic Mysteries as well? I'd say those are a bit easier to grok than either of those systems. But, since I love PoW:

Stalker: Basically a ninja; mobile assassin with magic abilities. Hit things with your choice of single weapons, two weapons, or fists, then disappear away.

Warder: A traditional tank, and a bulwark on the battlefield. By default is very good with sword and shield, and is excellent at taking damage, dealing damage, with some leadership abilities.

Warlord: A damn fine leader, and an even better combatant that every turn makes you feel like you're gambling on a winning streak. Gets really good leadership abilities, and is probably the most versatile combatant in the first book: two-weapon fighting, ranged, and single-weapon melee are all available by default, with archetypes opening up unarmed, sword and shield, and even guns. (Warlord is my favorite class...)

Harbinger: Mobile supernatural skirmisher; draws supernatural fighting power from their angst strife. Basically, if you want to kill something, there are very few things able to stop you from trying.

Mystic: Do you want to do magic things like throw around fire and buff allies? And also hit things with a sword? Mystic blends both of those, but without being a spellcaster.

Zealot: It's a tank and a leader class, in that you'll make enemies regret they even tried to do something. Also psionic, if you're into that or as a word of warning, since it links up their allies' minds.

Medic: Well, what's it sound like? The medic isn't a doctor, it's a battlefield medic. Equally good at keeping people's limbs attached as it is detaching enemy limbs.

[Thealtruistorc]

Let's go with the occult classes here.

Psychic: First off, this character is very different from a psion. The psychic is a mage who operates based on connections, a person who sees the larger fabric of the universe and uses their powers as a needle and thread to bring things together or tear them apart. A psychic sees the links between everything and plays them like a piano.

Spiritualist: You're a person who is very in touch with the spirit world, to the point where you have a spirit companion following you. Your spells draw on the power of spirits and how they can affect the mortal world.

Medium: You share bodies with the souls of other powerful individuals, tapping into their abilities. This enables you to replicate most any class feature that you wish for with a bit of preparation.

Mesmerist: Want to control people's minds and make them freak out to the point where they question reality? Play this guy.

Kineticist: Think ATLA, but not very functional. Play a mystic if you want to be one of the characters from the show.

Occultist: A versatile class based on objects supercharged with magic. you can do quite a bit with it, and with some funky lore.

[Crake]

If you're looking to introduce a few new players into the game, rather than writing a hundred different descriptions, why not instead ask THEM for a description of the kind of character they want to play, and instead match a class to that to help them make a character?

[Jay R]

A table of new players? I'd describe Fighter, Cleric, Druid, Ranger, Rogue, Sorcerer, and Wizard.

And nothing else.

First level players should get first level challenges.

[Dr_Dinosaur]

*Alchemist:* Dr. Jekyll with a side of Plague Knight
*Cavalier:* A knight of the round table, all about horsemanship and working together to kill monsters better.
*Gunslinger:* A Fighter who really likes guns. They're the best at what they do, and not much else.
*Inquisitor:* The Rogue of the divine classes, choose what heresy you want to focus on and go to town.
*Magus:* It's a Spellblade/Mystic Knight
*Oracle:* Like a Sorcerer, but divine power comes at a cost that they can gradually turn into an advantage.
*Summoner:* Has a customizable pet and an army of summoned monsters. We don't recommend playing one if you're new.
*Vigilante:* A fun, powerful urban variant on the Rogue with secret identity mechanics you probably won't end up using.
*Witch:* Debuff-focused caster with abilities it can spam all day

[noob]

Barbarian,fighter, cavalier:hit stuff break stuff and survive to damage.
Sorcerer:Cast spells but you need to pick a list and you will probably make an error and chose useless spells like fireball or disintegrate and just be like the first category except you will not have a shirt and you will be able to use some social skills.
Wizard:Cast spells but you chose the spells you can cast every morning so in the end even if you do mistakes you will be able to fix it and then cast spells that change the world instead of wining battles. Somehow the dame designers decided it would be more squishy than the other wizard like classes but since you have spells it do not change anything
Cleric:Like wizard but you can pick a second class and pretend to be that other class too.
Druid:Like wizard but you also have a pet who do the role of the first category but better.
Rogue:Is a colour.
Summoner:Bet a pet who is better at fighting than a barbarian(unless that barbarian is not a begginer) and get cool stuff to summon to change the world and murder action economy by making it crash through excessive inflation.
Bard:Like a sorcerer except you get lower level spells and you can wear a shirt and use skills and you do not have the right to use some bad spells like fireball thus reducing the probability you will be a fighting machine.
Inquisitor:gets some spells and ways to hit hard opponents and some skills. Similar in a lot of ways to a bard and better than a paladin most of the time.
Paladin:see inquisitor then remove skills and have lower level spells.
Alchemist:get a lot of lists from which to pick cool stuff to do in and out of battle(the coolest ones are often stuff you do out of battle like simulacrum) and also gets by default bombs that helps to fight you will need to think a lot to which stuff you pick.
Oracle:Like a sorcerer.
Magus:Prepared spellcasting but low level spells and you get the ability to use spells while doing fighter stuff.
Witch:like a wizard but with a different list and some curses.
Monk:do stuff but only if you use the unchained version else it do nothing.
I have no idea what a monk should try to do.
Arcanist:See wizard but now you prepare the spells in a sightly different way.
Bloodrager:barbarian but with some spells it is better unless you really only want to hit stuff.
Brawler:like fighter but with weird monk random stuff you should probably play a fighter instead unless there is monk stuff which is good
ranger:gets low level spells to do some stuff and gets some skills and is racist and should never ever be compared with a druid because it is less good.
hunter:like ranger but with higher level spells and spontaneous spellcasting instead of prepared and is not racist.
Well there is other classes but I ran out of bad descriptions.
if you are a beginner probably pick a druid, a cleric or a summoner: if you mess up either you have a pet who do all the fighting for you or you can prepare new spells the next day and you are not squishy(unlike the wizard).

[DarkEternal]

Akashic Mysteries as well? I'd say those are a bit easier to grok than either of those systems. But, since I love PoW:

Warlord: A damn fine leader, and an even better combatant that every turn makes you feel like you're gambling on a winning streak. Gets really good leadership abilities, and is probably the most versatile combatant in the first book: two-weapon fighting, ranged, and single-weapon melee are all available by default, with archetypes opening up unarmed, sword and shield, and even guns. (Warlord is my favorite class...)

I'd agree with this one, if there was every a real "gamble" with the gambits. The penalty for missing a gambit (which is as is, a really, really small chance of doing it) is trivial when compared to the boon.

[Mordaedil]

A table of new players? I'd describe Fighter, Cleric, Druid, Ranger, Rogue, Sorcerer, and Wizard.

And nothing else.

First level players should get first level challenges.

I'd do this and I'll do it really quick.

Fighter: Very simple to play, you have most standard options, can survive most things and you get options almost every level.

Cleric: Holy man with a lot of spells, can easily do well in combat and heal everyone after a fight, gets extra tools for dealing with undead, but your options are limited. Little effort required to learn spells, you can do things as you go.

Druid: You start out as a spellcaster with a pet, like a wolf or bear, eventually you can turn into a wolf or bear and your spells are quite powerful later on. Good starting choice.

Ranger: A hunter with some basic options for combat, and specialized in tracking down enemies and navigating the wild. Gets limited spells later as well as a pet.

Rogue: A street-thug who has a powerful single attack ability, a lot of skills to excel at, but works poorly outside of groups. Handles traps as main gimmick.

Sorcerer: Spellcaster where you can only pick spells at level-up and changing spells at other level-ups. Requires passing knowledge of the spells to really work.

Wizard: Spellcaster where you get a lot of power at your fingertips and you have options to change spells at rest rather than on level-ups and you can learn more from scrolls instead of just leveling. Recommend generalist before trying specialist (in case they screw themselves over)