Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

[JAL_1138]

My main problem with Thunderwave is that I've tried to focus on bonus action and debuffing spells, using a rapier and Smites for damage. Plus we've got enough casters that we don't really need more damaging spells.

FWIW my Cantrips are Mending so we never need to roll to remake broken gear, and Prestidigitation because it's got some utility and it's an easy way to clean before going into town. My current plan is Paladin 1/Bard 1/Paladin+4/Bard+2/Paladin+1/Bard+lots. I would have only gone to Paladin 5, but that Aura bonus is just too tempting (although not enough to delay Expertise to later than level 8).

Huh, books are 25 gp. So, let me work out my gear with that in mind, looks like I won't need a cart.

Perhaps we should move discussion to the thread on the recruitment page?

[Anonymouswizard]

Perhaps we should move discussion to the thread on the recruitment page?

Probably, I'll head over there in a bit, currently debating if I want Lamentations of the Flame Princess.

* I must stop buying games.

[iceman10058]

*My Paladins motto is not allowed to be "Dont worry, this ****'s legit"

**It doesnt matter if he worships help and that pretty much how he works.

[Guizonde]

*My Paladins motto is not allowed to be "Dont worry, this ****'s legit"

**It doesnt matter if he worships help and that pretty much how he works.

directly linked,

*if my sentence starts with, "i blindfold the paladin" chances are i'm gonna get my alignment changed.
** not allowed to send the paladin on a snipe hunt in order for me to advance the plot in a jack bauer fashion.
***even if it's for the greater good.

(i love the paladin's player, he's awesome at roleplay and group tactics, but the way he plays his paladin makes me fear he'll end up falling by getting into a no win situation. i swear i'm doing all the evil of the group to save his character levels)

completely unrelated:
*contrary to what the dwarven bosun assured us, half-orc paladins in full plate don't float.
**cannot give the paladin swimming lessons during our free time. that's begging for a random aquatic encounter.

[JAL_1138]

*If I got to the DM's place in a boat because it was 10 minutes quicker than driving around the lake, may not insist that my character will take a 2-week overland detour to avoid going anywhere near water instead of getting on a boat.
**That goes double if we're playing the actual game in a houseboat.
***May not say "I told you so" when the giant squid attacks.

[Anonymouswizard]

*If I got to the DM's place in a boat because it was 10 minutes quicker than driving around the lake, may not insist that my character will take a 2-week overland detour to avoid going anywhere near water instead of getting on a boat.
**That goes double if we're playing the actual game in a houseboat.
***May not say "I told you so" when the giant squid attacks.

Ah, I love houseboat games. Unfortunately the GM I know who lives in one is moving to Germany.

**** May not assume the giant squid attacked the houseboat.

[JAL_1138]

Ah, I love houseboat games. Unfortunately the GM I know who lives in one is moving to Germany.

Turns out D&D is a great way to pass the time on a slow day of fishing off the front deck. Even better if somebody catches a couple of decent-sized walleye and the DM is good at frying fish.

**** May not assume the giant squid attacked the houseboat.

*****May not reply "Well, it tried, before suddenly dying from being in fresh water. Nobody's entirely sure how it got so far inland, how it got past the dam, or why it even would in the first place, but we had calamari for months."

[Rater202]

*Force-feeding people a two quart solution consisting of one part prune juice, one part Tabasco sauce, one part Pabst blue ribbon, and one part Mountain Dew counts as torture.
**Not only does it count as torture, but it's an automatic morality check.

[DigoDragon]

* Next time the GM gives me a +0 magic armor that grants me Spring Attack, but only when using bows, I shouldn't joke about it to the party Rules Lawyer.

[JAL_1138]

*Force-feeding people a two quart solution consisting of one part prune juice, one part Tabasco sauce, one part Pabst blue ribbon, and one part Mountain Dew counts as torture.
**Not only does it count as torture, but it's an automatic morality check.

***May not suggest it's not just a morality check, but a Dark Powers check (despite the fact that, with Pabst, Mountain Dew, and Tabasco, it's clearly not a Ravenloft campaign).

[Guizonde]

*Force-feeding people a two quart solution consisting of one part prune juice, one part Tabasco sauce, one part Pabst blue ribbon, and one part Mountain Dew counts as torture.
**Not only does it count as torture, but it's an automatic morality check.

quoting for future use, don't mind me.

unrelated:

*not allowed to ever again spike elven champagne with dockside rotgut to give the party a nasty hangover, even if it made the dm and i laugh ourselves to tears. it will count as pvp, and i will get my glasses punched off my face. again.
**not allowed to make anything remotely ressembling that irl in order to give the player party a nasty hangover. the party doesn't have my dm's or my alcohol tolerance.

[Katrina]

*not allowed to ever again spike elven champagne with dockside rotgut to give the party a nasty hangover, even if it made the dm and i laugh ourselves to tears. it will count as pvp, and i will get my glasses punched off my face. again.

I am by no means a really experienced lush, but isn't champagne normally clear and dockside rotgut normally the color of old shoe leather?

* Despite what the module says, I am no longer allowed to combine the words "invisible" and "Ancient White Dragon" in the same sentence as the GM. Or as a player, most likely.

[ElFi]

* At this point, I should probably recognize that my elven alchemist is the only sane member of the party and will be roundly ignored when she tells people not to press the Big Red Button (or in last session's case, unsheathe the magic sword seal holding a vengeful wraith-king in check).

* The solution to everything in a train fight is not "shove 'em out the window."
** Especially when it comes to injured party members.
*** Especially especially when they're below 0 hit points.
**** I'm not allowed to use bull rushes anymore.

[Guizonde]

I am by no means a really experienced lush, but isn't champagne normally clear and dockside rotgut normally the color of old shoe leather?
.

real champagne is golden and sparkling (and costs about 300% its fabrication value). true-blue rotgut should be water-clear (and cost 3% its fabrication value). if it has a discoloration, it can be traced (see pure-bred gin, that should be tinted blue below its top-mark). if you don't know if you're drinking alcohol or kerosene, chances are you're drinking rotgut.

... great, now i've gotta quote myself when describing liquor.

*"it's not alcoholism, it's a lifestyle" is not a valid character description.

[JAL_1138]

Expanding on that a bit: distilled liquor (such as whiskey, vodka, rum, gin, tequila, etc) all starts out clear; coloration is picked up through additives or through aging in barrels. (In whiskey production, the clear spirit is called "white dog" if it's legal, "moonshine" if it's illegal. Nowadays some distilleries pawn off their white dog as "legal moonshine"—an oxymoron—to sell spirits without taking the time and expense of barrel-aging).

[Guizonde]

Distilled liquor (such as whiskey, vodka, rum, gin, etc) starts out clear; coloration is picked up through additives or through aging in barrels. (In whiskey production, the clear spirit is called "white dog" if it's legal, "moonshine" if it's illegal. Nowadays some distilleries pawn off their white dog as "legal moonshine"—an oxymoron—to sell spirits without taking the time and expense of barrel-aging).

i didn't know that. for me, rotgut is either liquor that hasn't been aged correctly (your white dog, i guess), or a homebrew that's more likely closer to methanol than ethanol (ie, most homebrew hard stuff done using perfume). glad to know i wasn't wrong about the hard stuff being crystal clear, though. makes my love of the bottle seem more like a hobby.

thanks. (note to self, add vodka and apple juice to spike champagne to offset the alcohol content while retaining the flavor)

*if jal says something, i probably shouldn't use it to further my agenda of surreptitiously slushing my team.
**even if it's the perfect excuse to use the word "surreptitiously".

[JAL_1138]

I don't drink as much as I used to anymore—my time on antidepressants made me a permanent lightweight, and since I moved to one of the worst places for allergies in the US, I get enough sinus headaches I need to avoid the hooch just to spare my liver from the interactions with booze and painkillers/allergy-meds. But originally being a Kentuckian, I consider bourbon (and alcohol snobbery in general, but my Commonwealth's native spirit in particular) to be a sort of hobby as well.

I'm also from the Appalachian mountains, so I know that a crazy old hillbilly from up a holler so deep you've got to pipe the daylight in from elsewhere who knows what he's doing can make moonshine that tastes like the sound of angels singing. (And of course one who doesn't know or doesn't care can make some vile hooch that either tastes like Satan's piss and comes with a hangover to match, or will blind you, or will brain-damage you, or will kill you outright, or any combination thereof. You've got to know the right hillbillies or you're playing Russian roulette.)

The legal stuff generally tastes like paint thinner smells, to be a bit uncharitable toward paint thinner, because it's generally a cost cutting measure and usually stuff that was meant for the barrel, or at least from a recipe intended for the barrel (and thus meant to have a flavor profile that'll take well to aging in oak for half a decade and was never intended to be drunk before that), but never got there.

[TeChameleon]

You've got to know the right hillbillies or you're playing Russian roulette.

... Hillbilly Roulette: the only version of Russian Roulette that has the drinking game built in.

[Katrina]

*Plays "The more you know" sound* And I thought my thing i learned today was the term "Vampire Power"*. Thanks for the lesson guys. I'm sure i can work this into a plan somewhere.

* My first impulse upon acquiring new knowledge should not be how to weaponize in an rpg.

Spoiler: Vampire Power for the curious

Show

basically refers to the power consumed by devices that go into a standby mode when they tell you they turn off. Like your Television if it has a remote. It tells you its turned off, but the sensor that looks for the remote input is still consuming power to function. It has been a big thing in recent power consumption studies and Wikipedia has an article on it that is much more indepth and researched than this. But I figure you clicked the spoiler because of the passing "huh?" like I did when I saw the picture at my work with a cute little bat wall plug. A better term for it is "Stand-by Power", which is used in most technical documents.

[goto124]

Spoiler: Vampire Power for the curious

Show

But I figure you clicked the spoiler because of the passing "huh?" like I did when I saw the picture at my work with a cute little bat wall plug.

* May not point at a skeleton crew.

[2D8HP]

* May not point at a skeleton crew.

"Hydra-burgers with Gouda!" Nice shout outs!

I'd forgotten:

http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0326.html

http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0463.html

[sengmeng]

*I cannot date the Big Bad Evil Girl.
**No, offering a three way with her and my twin brother does not sway her either.
***Even with sympathetic villains who have legitimate gripes, a threesome is never the answer to avoiding a boss fight.

[Anonymouswizard]

* Prestidigitation is for more than stopping the wizard's component pouch from stinking.

[danielxcutter]

* Prestidigitation is for more than stopping the wizard's component pouch from stinking.

**Or making the druid's food taste like boiled shoe leather.

[Anonymouswizard]

*The group would not stop the session for twenty minutes to discuss how likely it is that the dungeon is made out of mimics.
* We cannot check every surface for a slight incline.
* After spending ten minutes trying to work out of there's a trap, cannot proceed to fall into the trap.

[JAL_1138]

*The group would not stop the session for twenty minutes to discuss how likely it is that the dungeon is made out of mimics.
* We cannot check every surface for a slight incline.
* After spending ten minutes trying to work out of there's a trap, cannot proceed to fall into the trap.

**Cannot debate who was walking in front until we decide we both would've ended up having fallen into the trap.
***Especially if either of us could've avoided it because there was some confusion.

*I should assume all animate skeletons are hostile.

[Anonymouswizard]

* JAL's 10 foot (and one inch) pole is not a mimic.

[goto124]

*The group would not stop the session for twenty minutes to discuss how likely it is that the dungeon is made out of mimics.

** This has nothing to do with a certain webcomic.

[danielxcutter]

** This has nothing to do with a certain webcomic.

***Or this one.

[DigoDragon]

**Or making the druid's food taste like boiled shoe leather.

Even if that's an improvement over what it tasted like before? Cause I gotta say, at least boiled shoe leather isn't wiggling.

** This has nothing to do with a certain webcomic.

*** I am proactively banned from taking notes on this for next Saturday's session.