Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

[JAL_1138]

He's at least promoting himself to be a Ranger-esque type of adventurer so my character just kinda went "Something, Something rangers and goodberries" internally. It provides a day's nourishment for a creature and up to 10 per casting, though there is no mention of satiation, so he wouldn't starve, him and his doggo would just be craving anything of substance.

That's probably the actual explanation, but it's something to look into all the same, just to confirm it if nothing else.

[DigoDragon]

like figuring out how to make a goat shoot bullets? like helping me figure out what is an automatic combat goat? learning how to dual wield livestock? the people demand to know!!

* I am no longer allowed to use Handle Animal to train a combat goat.
** I'm also banned from creating magic weapons with command words keyed to goat bleats.
*** No, I may not fire my combat goat into battle from a bow.
**** Getting around the previous problem does not automatically qualify me to apply the Point Blank Shot feat.

[JAL_1138]

This one is not from the current game, but from a one-shot a while back:

*May not convince the DM to allow called shots.
**If I convince the DM to allow called shots, may not convince the DM to let me do called shots with improvised weapons.
***May not abuse the fact that the DM thinks the lack of damage stacking in 5e is silly when multiple instantaneous damage effects trigger on the same location.
****If I convince the DM to allow me to make called shots with improvised weapons and am aware of the DM's houserule on damage stacking, may not wrap a Necklace of Fireballs around a flask of Alchemist's Fire and make a called shot to the white dragon's open mouth.
*****No matter how many times I cast Prestidigitation on it, that armor is still going to smell like incinerated dragon. As is everything in a quarter-mile radius of the blast.

[Anonymouswizard]

This one is not from the current game, but from a one-shot a while back:

*May not convince the DM to allow called shots.
**If I convince the DM to allow called shots, may not convince the DM to let me do called shots with improvised weapons.
***May not abuse the fact that the DM thinks the lack of damage stacking in 5e is silly when multiple instantaneous damage effects trigger on the same location.
****If I convince the DM to allow me to make called shots with improvised weapons and am aware of the DM's houserule on damage stacking, may not wrap a Necklace of Fireballs around a flask of Alchemist's Fire and make a called shot to the white dragon's open mouth.
*****No matter how many times I cast Prestidigitation on it, that armor is still going to smell like incinerated dragon. As is everything in a quarter-mile radius of the blast.

****** May not reply that this seems completely fine, why would anybody have a problem with it, it's just using common sense.

* May not mount guns on a train.
** Battle trains are a stupid idea.
*** If I put an automated track layer on the front of the train what I have done is invented a really inefficient car.

[danielxcutter]

*Yes, stuffing Delayed Blast Fireballs down the dragon's throat doesn't give them a Reflex save. No, you still get marks for that on the alignment chart.

[LordCdrMilitant]

****** May not reply that this seems completely fine, why would anybody have a problem with it, it's just using common sense.

* May not mount guns on a train.
** Battle trains are a stupid idea.
*** If I put an automated track layer on the front of the train what I have done is invented a really inefficient car.

What's wrong with wartrains?









I've used armored trains and railway artillery in at least 2 different D&D campaigns. I like it, because it's something that players can capture that's powerful and can turn the tide of a military operation, but it also can't really threaten them as individuals, and they can't take it places I don't want them to have it.

[Braininthejar2]

*** If I put an automated track layer on the front of the train what I have done is invented a really inefficient car.

[JAL_1138]

*My bard has never heard of "Don't Hug Me I'm Scared."
**Even if it would work well for fear effects.

[Anonymouswizard]

What's wrong with wartrains?









I've used armored trains and railway artillery in at least 2 different D&D campaigns. I like it, because it's something that players can capture that's powerful and can turn the tide of a military operation, but it also can't really threaten them as individuals, and they can't take it places I don't want them to have it.

Not wartrains, battletrains. Intended for use in personal scale battles and other PC environments.

There's nothing wrong with railway artillery, it's a practical solution, but it's not one that can be scaled down and taken into the dungeon.

* I cannot delay the game because my parents are complaining.

[LordCdrMilitant]

Not wartrains, battletrains. Intended for use in personal scale battles and other PC environments.

There's nothing wrong with railway artillery, it's a practical solution, but it's not one that can be scaled down and taken into the dungeon.

* I cannot delay the game because my parents are complaining.

There were many wartrains that weren't giant artillery pieces mounted on train tracks for mobility. The one in the topmost picture, for instance. Armored traincars, locomotives, and tenders were frequently used to patrol stretches of railroads vulnerable to guerrilla activity and to protect trains they were attached to, and sometimes to join in an press and offensive if a rail line was in the area.

As far as taking a wartrain into a dungeon goes, I don't see why not if there's railroad tracks for it to ride on. That would actually be pretty cool.

[JAL_1138]

Not wartrains, battletrains. Intended for use in personal scale battles and other PC environments.

There's nothing wrong with railway artillery, it's a practical solution, but it's not one that can be scaled down and taken into the dungeon.

*Dwarves do not use miniature battletrains on their minecart rails.
**Even though dwarven mines do always get overrun by horrible monsters sooner or later.

[IZ42]

*may no longer play otherwise sociable characters that have a very limited range of communication
**intimidate may no longer substitute for diplomacy
***stop playing faces

[Rater202]

*My bard has never heard of "Don't Hug Me I'm Scared."
**Even if it would work well for fear effects.

***No matter how high I roll on Intimidate, I can't make someone soil themselves by asking "what's your favorite idea?"

[JAL_1138]

From the current game:

*My neutral good bard should probably not be okay with the bounty hunter threatening torture and death to extract information.
**The chaotic neutral bounty hunter should probably not be the stickler for proper legal procedures out of a group of good-aligned characters.
***When attempting to be genre-savvy, must make sure it's the right genre.
****Never trust anyone whose name consists of [adjective] [name] as two separate words.
*****There is a difference between adventuring and banditry...even if we can't properly articulate it.
******Asserting that someone is a bandit because they broke into a building, took a prisoner, and tied the prisoner up, when we broke into the building they broke into, took them prisoner, and tied them up, just muddies the proverbial water even further.

[Anonymouswizard]

From the current game:

*My neutral good bard should probably not be okay with the bounty hunter threatening torture and death to extract information.
**The chaotic neutral bounty hunter should probably not be the stickler for proper legal procedures out of a group of good-aligned characters.
***When attempting to be genre-savvy, must make sure it's the right genre.
****Never trust anyone whose name consists of [adjective] [name] as two separate words.
*****There is a difference between adventuring and banditry...even if we can't properly articulate it.
******Asserting that someone is a bandit because they broke into a building, took a prisoner, and tied the prisoner up, when we broke into the building they broke into, took them prisoner, and tied them up, just muddies the proverbial water even further.

I wonder what happened and I'm sad I probably have to leave that game.

[JAL_1138]

I wonder what happened and I'm sad I probably have to leave that game.

We hope you'll be able to stick around. Dunno how schedules will shake out though.

Spoiler: recap

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Recap (I can't recall exactly where we were when you left so some of this you were likely there for):

The leader of Dammior's party, Blue Jack, was there in the tower; the rest of Dammior's party had KO'd a sergeant of the town guard and left him hogtied in a back room of the tower and then left. Blue Jack is not good at lying, and much discussion and roleplay thereof ensued. He planned to kill the guard later. Turns out the wainwright's daughter had, at least initially, joined up voluntarily, looking for excitement and adventure. Dammior turned stool-pigeon and sold out Blue Jack, who we arrested and took to town. We let Dammior and his doggo go at the edge of town once we were fairly sure he wasn't going to rejoin his former group. Blue Jack had an old map of tge area on him, as well as an allegedly-unrelated rare artifact from Sanctuary that's basically a magitek ray-gun. The half-orc and the halfling have the wainwright's daughter at a secondary camp six or seven miles north, which is where we're headed next.

[Anonymouswizard]

We hope you'll be able to stick around. Dunno how schedules will shake out though.

Spoiler: recap

Show

Recap (I can't recall exactly where we were when you left so some of this you were likely there for):

The leader of Dammior's party, Blue Jack, was there in the tower; the rest of the party had KO'd a sergeant of the town guard and left him hogtied in a back room of the tower and then left. Blue Jack is not good at lying, and much discussion and roleplay thereof ensued. He planned to kill the guard later. Turns out the wainwright's daughter had, at least initially, joined up voluntarily, looking for excitement and adventure. Dammior turned stool-pigeon and sold out Blue Jack, who we arrested and took to town. We let Dammior and his doggo go at the edge of town once we were fairly sure he wasn't going to rejoin his former group. Blue Jack had an old map of tge area on him, as well as an allegedly-unrelated rare artifact from Sanctuary that's basically a magitek ray-gun. The half-orc and the halfling have the wainwright's daughter at a secondary camp six or seven miles north, which is where we're headed next.

Sounds interesting, I hope I can stay but I am the one who has to make everyone check their schedules (as I can't do later than 12 BST/11 UCT on weekdays anymore), and I always worry I'm the group member everybody hates anyway (poor social skills, in the reading people department, and a tendency to make bad jokes does that to you).

[JAL_1138]

Sounds interesting, I hope I can stay but I am the one who has to make everyone check their schedules (as I can't do later than 12 BST/11 UCT on weekdays anymore), and I always worry I'm the group member everybody hates anyway (poor social skills, in the reading people department, and a tendency to make bad jokes does that to you).

I wouldn't worry overmuch about the second part; I'm not noticing any friction in the social skills department, and your sense of humor aligns pretty much with the rest of ours—at the very worst, us Yanks can be a bit slow on the uptake of some particularly-British pop-culture references, but nothing that's a major issue. The schedule may be difficult, though; we'll see how it shakes out. Although bear in mind last time we got a pretty late start; if we start at 5pm EDT on the dot, that gives us a solid couple of hours.

[Anonymouswizard]

I wouldn't worry overmuch about the second part; I'm not noticing any friction in the social skills department, and your sense of humor aligns pretty much with the rest of ours—at the very worst, us Yanks can be a bit slow on the uptake of some particularly-British pop-culture references, but nothing that's a major issue. The schedule may be difficult, though; we'll see how it shakes out. Although bear in mind last time we got a pretty late start; if we start at 5pm EDT on the dot, that gives us a solid couple of hours.

Yeah, it's the sudden jump in start time in the second week by about four hours that is the problem, if we started an hour or two earlier it would probably be fine. But as I said, it's my fault we have to discuss this again, so if anyone has to drop out it's me.

About British pop culture references, listen very carefully I vill say this only once.

[Socksy]

** People are not confused by the 20ft monument to the 10 foot pole.

Congrats, you made me laugh so hard my insides spasmed.

[Anonymouswizard]

Congrats, you made me laugh so hard my insides spasmed.

Not exactly my joke, but I'm glad you liked it.

[danielxcutter]

The joke flew over my head... context?

[JAL_1138]

From the current game:

*We should probably not traumatize the person we're rescuing WAY more than they were traumatized by the bandits we're rescuing them from.
**It's kinda hard to say we're better than bandits if we break our word and shoot them in the back as soon as they hand over the person we're trying to rescue.
***My ostensibly Neutral Good bard with a severe phobia of water stemming from a traumatic backstory incident should probably object much more strongly than simply refusing to take part, leaving the room, and drinking heavily if other members of the party are willing to resort to waterboarding a prisoner to extract information.

Technically we're not murderhobos; we didn't actually murder anybody. But murderhobos might have the moral high ground.

[Socratov]

The joke flew over my head... context?

I't s a 20' representation of a 10' pole? As in, the 10' pole has now become a 20' pole...

[Anonymouswizard]

From the current game:

*We should probably not traumatize the person we're rescuing WAY more than they were traumatized by the bandits we're rescuing them from.
**It's kinda hard to say we're better than bandits if we break our word and shoot them in the back as soon as they hand over the person we're trying to rescue.
***My ostensibly Neutral Good bard with a severe phobia of water stemming from a traumatic backstory incident should probably object much more strongly than simply refusing to take part, leaving the room, and drinking heavily if other members of the party are willing to resort to waterboarding a prisoner to extract information.

Technically we're not murderhobos; we didn't actually murder anybody. But murderhobos might have the moral high ground.

I've got a feeling making a Paladin was the right decision. If I don't rejoin that game I suspect the lot of you are going to take over the world one vile act at a time.

Actually, can I join up with that take over the world stuff if I get the ability to rejoin? It sounds fun.

[Guizonde]

*despite precedent in the ussr, exploding animals are not considered a martial weapon.
** they indeed count on my previous ban on black powder weapons in pf.
*** still not banned goats as weapons. just exploding ones.

[Anonymouswizard]

* Cannot insist that humanity's major trait is that when the find something that man was not meant to know we instantly decide that it is called 'Mister Fluffy' and will get along really well with my dog.

* My character cannot find the following really adorable: rats, bats, cows, plate armour, misuse of language, sheep, goblins, eldritch abominations.
** I am no longer a decent judge of what's cute.
*** Rats do not mistake bats for angels.

[JAL_1138]

I've got a feeling making a Paladin was the right decision. If I don't rejoin that game I suspect the lot of you are going to take over the world one vile act at a time.

Actually, can I join up with that take over the world stuff if I get the ability to rejoin? It sounds fun.

Our first session without the Paladin and our alignments are all likely to get dinged down a step, yeah. We need a character with a strong moral compass.

To be fair I think this was a one-off or will at least not recur often. Our bounty hunter's "reason for joining the campaign" quest was at issue, and his quarry wasn't cooperative.

* Cannot insist that humanity's major trait is that when the find something that man was not meant to know we instantly decide that it is called 'Mister Fluffy' and will get along really well with my dog.

* My character cannot find the following really adorable: rats, bats, cows, plate armour, misuse of language, sheep, goblins, eldritch abominations.
** I am no longer a decent judge of what's cute.
*** Rats do not mistake bats for angels.

If you need proof of cute, I dunno if I can find cute plate armor, but you're covered for rats, bats, cattle, sheep, goblins, and eldritch horrors:

Spoiler: rats

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Spoiler: bats

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Spoiler: cows

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Spoiler: sheep

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Spoiler: goblins

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Spoiler: eldritch abominations

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D'aww, lookit 'im. Li'l Cutethulhu bringed you a skull.

[Anonymouswizard]

If you need proof of cute, I dunno if I can find cute plate armor, but you're covered for rats, bats, cattle, sheep, goblins, and eldritch horrors:

Spoiler: rats

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Spoiler: bats

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Spoiler: cows

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Spoiler: sheep

Show

Spoiler: goblins

Show

Spoiler: eldritch abominations

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D'aww, lookit 'im. Li'l Cutethulhu bringed you a skull.

Well yeah, but I've met a lot of people who will majorly disagree that most of those are adorable. Although for the eldritch abomination I was half expecting the anime schoolgirl Narlytheop (or however it's spelt), but no adorable Cthulhu! D'aww.

[JAL_1138]

Well yeah, but I've met a lot of people who will majorly disagree that most of those are adorable.

And those people are wrong. The little rat has a tiny adorable teddy bear in his little paws and just look at that adorable little face *squeeeeeee*

I want one. I will hug him and pet him and name him Mr. Whiskersnoot.

But then my cat would try to eat him and I should probably not get a rat.

Although for the eldritch abomination I was half expecting the anime schoolgirl Narlytheop (or however it's spelt), but no adorable Cthulhu! D'aww.

Sure, Great Old Ones are cute when they're little, but then they grow up and build sunken cities with non-Euclidean geometries to await the return of the Outer Gods and—


Oh good Lord, that is sickeningly adorable. Well, Earth's had a good run, I guess.