Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

[Guizonde]

*if my storm-trooper tempestus scion is more violent than the ork in the party, there's a problem.
**i i'm the one to teach the concept of "moar dakka" to the tau instead of the ork in the party, there's a problem.
***if the ork says i should've been born green, that's a problem.
****no more out-orking the ork.
*my concept of demonic infestation should not be "identify weak spot, kick weak spot until demon is banished to the warp".
**not allowed to interpret the "armor of contempt" talent as "steel-capped boots to a groinal area".
***not allowed to convert an ork to the imperial doctrine using my interpretation of "the armor of contempt".
****even if it's effective.

*despite it being common imperial doctrine, no sticking a bayonet on the following: rogue traders, lascannons, hellguns, shotguns, kroots, battleships, cathedrals, bayonets, multilasers, bolt pistols, any xeno weapon, imperial or xeno relics, and grenades.

[sengmeng]

*must not over roleplay my insanity flaw.
**must not voluntarily take extra san loss.

[Socratov]

Did you teach a water spirit to drive a car? Cause you're missing out if you haven't ;)

Yeah, i'm not allowed to do that anymore. It didn't end well. XD

storytime?

[Katrina]

* no longer allowed to use Turn to goo on anything with a cyber skull or torso.
* if my build can summon a rank 8 spirit, it is likely banned.
* a rank 8 machine sprite is no longer allowed within a city block of an Aries City master.

[DigoDragon]

storytime?

Spoiler: Story Time

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Our team was hired to guard a truck shipment that needed to get through a rough part of town where a gang war erupted (the shipping company already was days behind and over budget).
As we get through the 'badlands' gangers on motorbikes attacked. We were doing pretty well to keep them away. My mage was riding in a trailing van behind the third truck. Bad luck hit us when the gangers got some really lucky shots. The driver in the van I was in got killed (headshot). I kicked the body out of the van and tried to drive, but the only other person in the van was the team face who got shot pretty bad.

I summoned a water spirit and told it to drive so I can heal the party Face. The spirit had no idea what it was doing, so I kept instructing it on what to do as I'm trying to stabilize the teammate. It went only slighter better than expected. "Driving via braille method" was what the team's street sam called it. The spirit kept dinging the van into the trucks we're supposed to be protecting, as well as curbs, trash cans, poles, etc. I ran out of services (it was combat, I had to give it different orders here and there). So the spirit was done and vanished and without a driver the van hit a curb, flipped on it's side and plowed into several gangers. We survived the crash (the only two who did versus three instantly killed gangers) and the gang broke off the attack. Another van, driven by the team rigger, picked us up and I was told never to let a spirit drive again.

* The altruistic monk is no longer allowed to negotiate our pay with employers.
** I will no longer assume the bard will spin a great tale of our heroic efforts.
*** I am banned from relying on the party wizard for any magical support in a battle.

[Lord Torath]

Spoiler: Story Time

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Our team was hired to guard a truck shipment that needed to get through a rough part of town where a gang war erupted (the shipping company already was days behind and over budget).
As we get through the 'badlands' gangers on motorbikes attacked. We were doing pretty well to keep them away. My mage was riding in a trailing van behind the third truck. Bad luck hit us when the gangers got some really lucky shots. The driver in the van I was in got killed (headshot). I kicked the body out of the van and tried to drive, but the only other person in the van was the team face who got shot pretty bad.

I summoned a water spirit and told it to drive so I can heal the party Face. The spirit had no idea what it was doing, so I kept instructing it on what to do as I'm trying to stabilize the teammate. It went only slighter better than expected. "Driving via braille method" was what the team's street sam called it. The spirit kept dinging the van into the trucks we're supposed to be protecting, as well as curbs, trash cans, poles, etc. I ran out of services (it was combat, I had to give it different orders here and there). So the spirit was done and vanished and without a driver the van hit a curb, flipped on it's side and plowed into several gangers. We survived the crash (the only two who did versus three instantly killed gangers) and the gang broke off the attack. Another van, driven by the team rigger, picked us up and I was told never to let a spirit drive again.

Mine was much less exciting.

Spoiler: Alternate Story Time

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We were running the NAN border, and had an official Patrol One full of Border Patrol Native Americans after us. My familiar manifested in adorable-but-most-importantly-SMALL kitten form at the driver's feet, and Stunbolted the driver into unconsciousness. Then assumed human form and brought the vehicle safely to a stop, hid the keys, then escaped to Astral Space while the rest of us made our get-away. So very little "hilarity" ensued.

Our team tries very hard to avoid unnecessary casualties - really makes the authorities take it personally. No casualties means they can justify spending less resources coming after us. Also, my familiar already had the Car skill, as I was contemplating stealing a MobMaster^TM for the Rating 5 AutoPilot I wanted to reinstall into our own van/mobile command center. Plus I needed some cash to afford the Rating 3 Soroyama-designed VCR that only required 2.5 points of Essence. A 3.6 million-nuyen vehicle sells for a pretty penny on the Black Market.

[PhoenixPhyre]

* As a DM, I may never include drugs in a scenario. Turns out my players are junkies in the making.
** Drugs that produce cosmetic alterations (including things like growing non-functional wings, horns, fangs, fur) are especially right out.
*** Especially if there's a tentacle-loving (no, not that way) Great Old One Warlock in the party.
*** Or a rogue who is intent on becoming an international drug kingpin. Especially if he's high enough level to make pickpocketing from passers-by effectively trivial.
**** Or especially both.
***** Good thing this piece of the campaign is formally non-canon for the setting (alternate timeline style).

[Rater202]

*Just because I can gain powers and traits by eating something alive and have no upper limit to how many I can have, that doesn't mean I should break into the Zoo in the middle of the night.
**Or the Prison's super-villain wing.
***Or the hospital.
****Especially not if I'm supposed to be one of the good guys.

[Drakeburn]

* As a Gamemaster for a superhero game, it is okay for the robbers to wear clown masks.
** However, it is not okay to have a clown for a super villain for some reason.
*** It is not okay to give the clown elastic superpowers.
**** Clown villains with enhanced strength and stamina are not allowed either.
***** No teleporting clowns
****** Or shapeshifting clowns.
******* I'm not allowed to have clowns in any game.

[Socratov]

*I may tempt the DM to do a oneshot in between sessions
**Once tempted I may conspire with my fellow players to coördinate character creation efforts
***Once coördinating efforts I may, naturally, help people create a character great at making disguises and perform
****I may not, however, conspire to create a party of Drag Queens
*****Doubly so if I want to turn the oneshot from whatever the DM had prepared and turn it into RuPaul's Drag Race.
******I may under no circumstances create a class 5 hurricane
*******Doubly so if I give her Vicious Mockery and call her Bianca.

Spoiler: Story

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I actually mentioned this as a "Wouldn't it be cool if...", and one fellow player yelled "COME THROUGH!" at the top of her lungs. My DM subsequently looked very worried and the other players looked at me with equal parts of fear and delight.


It was glorious.

[PhantasyPen]

• I am no longer allowed to own/use/go-anywhere-within-20-feet-of a wagon of any kind
• If I build an unarmed warrior who one-shots the DM's main villain one more time I am permanently banned from ever taking the Improved Unarmed Strike feat ever again
• I am no longer allowed to conspire with Joe to create explosives of any kind
• If my wizard has more BAB or HP than the Barbarian he gets nuked at character creation, even if I only built him to highlight a serious flaw in the DM's character creation rules
• For the same reason as above, I am not allowed to make a tenth-level character with 1,028 HP
• I may not build a caster who is capable of casting spells with no Verbal, Somatic, or Material components for free, and then give him Invisible Spell so that he makes things go boom just by staring at something
• If for some reason I do make the above, I can't then make half his spell list touch spells so that any roll above "10" is an automatic hit on a flat-footed opponent
• I am not allowed to kill my enemies by touching them, then teleporting them 12 miles straight up. Even if it does burn up two turns to do so.

[Personification]

• I am not allowed to kill my enemies by touching them, then teleporting them 12 miles straight up. Even if it does burn up two turns to do so.

I actually plan on eventually doing something like this with my 5E UA Mystic Nomad character. One of my abilities will (when I get to like level 5) let me use Psi points to create a cube in front of me, and another anywhere within a mile of me that I have seen, so my plan is:
-get into shoving range of opponent
-look up
-create portal to one mile above me that is right behind opponent
-shove action
-maniacal laugh

[Mith]

I actually plan on eventually doing something like this with my 5E UA Mystic Nomad character. One of my abilities will (when I get to like level 5) let me use Psi points to create a cube in front of me, and another anywhere within a mile of me that I have seen, so my plan is:
-get into shoving range of opponent
-look up
-create portal to one mile above me that is right behind opponent
-shove action
-maniacal laugh

A note on your planning: unless you are using other rules, the damage from fall caps out at 20d6 at 200 ft of falling unless part of the plan is to have the turn delay of falling a mile. Also is the portal a cubic portal?

[Fable Wright]

A note on your planning: unless you are using other rules, the damage from fall caps out at 20d6 at 200 ft of falling unless part of the plan is to have the turn delay of falling a mile. Also is the portal a cubic portal?

I believe the goal is not to splat the opponent with the ground. If you keep accelerating as you fall from one gate to another in a horrifying loop, terminal velocity starts to live up to the name.

[Lord Torath]

I believe the goal is not to splat the opponent with the ground. If you keep accelerating as you fall from one gate to another in a horrifying loop, terminal velocity starts to live up to the name.

This assumes you have no control over your movement as you fall. Even without any special equipment, a skilled skydiver—once they get up to full speed—can glide at almost a 45-degree angle¹. And a mile up is plenty of time to get up to full speed. So you (or your victim) will easily be able to avoid the lower cube if desired.

[malachi]

I believe the goal is not to splat the opponent with the ground. If you keep accelerating as you fall from one gate to another in a horrifying loop, terminal velocity starts to live up to the name.

If there's an atmosphere, you won't keep accelerating, because the air resistance will eventually cause enough friction to cause you to reach a constant velocity (aka terminal velocity). In the rules of the game, hitting the ground while falling at terminal velocity deals 20d6 damage.

If you don't have air resistance (and you're continually falling straight from the top portal into the bottom portal), then yes you can keep on accelerating, but there will be nothing about falling at a fast speed that would cause damage before you hit something.

If you want any method of gaining ridiculously large amounts of speed in a vacuum, you wouldn't be able to because either (A) portals do not preserve momentum, so your falling speed / effective falling distance would be reset to 0 each time to appeared at the top portal or (B) the horizontal momentum you had when you were first pushed into the portal would cause you to be WELL outside of the portal by the time you landed. The horizontal distance you would need between the two portals would need to get smaller each time you cycled through the portals, so there isn't a way to make a pair of stationary portals that would allow infinite loops if you have to start the loop with horizontal movement.

Of note is this TVTropes link / common phrase.

[Mith]

I wonder if it would work for fall damage to say that after 200 feet the dice maximize per every additional 10 feet, and then size does a multipier to the damage. So each size above medium doubles dice, each size below halves the dice. Impact with an object deals the falling damage to the impacted object and the falling object. This still does 12 points of damage for an ant at terminal velocity though, so it isn't perfect.

[LordCdrMilitant]

If there's an atmosphere, you won't keep accelerating, because the air resistance will eventually cause enough friction to cause you to reach a constant velocity (aka terminal velocity). In the rules of the game, hitting the ground while falling at terminal velocity deals 20d6 damage.

If you don't have air resistance (and you're continually falling straight from the top portal into the bottom portal), then yes you can keep on accelerating, but there will be nothing about falling at a fast speed that would cause damage before you hit something.

If you want any method of gaining ridiculously large amounts of speed in a vacuum, you wouldn't be able to because either (A) portals do not preserve momentum, so your falling speed / effective falling distance would be reset to 0 each time to appeared at the top portal or (B) the horizontal momentum you had when you were first pushed into the portal would cause you to be WELL outside of the portal by the time you landed. The horizontal distance you would need between the two portals would need to get smaller each time you cycled through the portals, so there isn't a way to make a pair of stationary portals that would allow infinite loops if you have to start the loop with horizontal movement.

Of note is this TVTropes link / common phrase.

I believe a Greater Demiplane works. You can have the edges loop over to each other and make it in vacuum. You can also manipulate gravity within it, to the extent of at the very minimum being able to superimpose a constant gravitational field over it, and impose "subjective gravity", which I'm sure you can do something creative with to damp out the "horizontal" momentum of the projectile.

[Personification]

A note on your planning: unless you are using other rules, the damage from fall caps out at 20d6 at 200 ft of falling unless part of the plan is to have the turn delay of falling a mile. Also is the portal a cubic portal?

The portal is a cube, and most likely my DM would have them fall to the ground a few rounds later with an insta-kill (we haven't actually played yet, so I don't know the DM-ing style, but this is what I would do). Also, 20d6 damage plus prone is nothing to sneeze at, and if you don't die, your HP is probably low enough that my tiny psychic dragon could kill you with her poison sting (traded a level 1 ability to have a telepathic bond with a pseudodragon).

*May not be a psychic gnome with a tiny sapient psychic dragon sidekick (actually I may, I love D&D)

[Loxagn]

If a minor plot thread surrounding a ghost-type harassing musical performers is just an elaborate setup for me to be allowed to utter the phrase 'Phantump of the Opera' out loud, it means I am a terrible DM.

[Anonymouswizard]

* May not overreact to the thread title, there's still twenty pages to go.

I suggest Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: GM's Asylum for the next thread.

[TeChameleon]

Hrm. The other option for the kill-with-double-portal trick would just be to cast something nasty between the two portals (although you'd need a focus that allowed sustaining two spells for this to work properly), so that the target fell through it on each past- something like wall of fire, or, if you want to correct for horizontal drift, one of the spells that does damage and draws the target towards their center (I think druids get a water-based one that does this in 5e, but I can't recall the name of it offhand). It'd be kind of elaborate, but I suspect rather satisfying

[Guizonde]

re: alignment:

*even if it's the best descriptive available, "chaotic josé" is not a valid alignment.
** pinging "demonic josé" is never "a potential fringe advantage".
*** no more tomfoolery with alignment camouflage to give the paladin an existential crisis.

*no matter how much i protest i won't do it, the team will always believe i'm looking at the ersatz-necronomicon that's eating my soul behind their backs.
**the dm encouraging them to believe that is just to troll me.

*weapon proficiency "sack of potatoes" does not exist.
**it's not a simple or even martial weapon. on the best of days, it's an improvised weapon.
*** can't take it as an exotic weapon proficiency either.
**** no encouraging the paladin to copy my "tater-tote beatdown", despite its proven effectiveness.

*only allowed one wedgie per session.
**including to save teammates.

*no more having such crazy luck with skill checks that i put the dm's railroad into question.
**no more acrobatics checks that could legitimately call for a "fly" check.
*** "suspension of disbelief" no longer applies to my inquisitor: don't ask how, he pulls it off.

*just because my teammate bends the laws of space and time does not give me a valid reason to break physics too.
** jealousy and envy are not valid reasons either.

*there's not enough gold on golarion to commission "boots of crotch-kicking" that are impervious to damage.
**no more encouraging the paladin to go for low blows too.

*flipping off duergar is never valid.
**even if they started it.
***especially if they started it!

*there's no "anti-racism organization" to call to protest i'm being persecuted for my drow ancestry.
**especially if it's to sue duergars.

Spoiler: context

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out of 12 in a row acrobatics checks, at level 4 the lowest i rolled was a 43. the dm had to fudge a lot of dice to make the chase not end by a goomba stomp after 2 rounds. my dice were on fire last night! so was my character repeatedly, incidentally.

[Rater202]

*"Interrogate the prisoner" does not mean "tie them to a chair and force them to listen while I sing the entire sore of Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark."

[JAL_1138]

*The 8 Str bard should not somehow be the most athletic person in the party.

[Anonymouswizard]

*The 8 Str bard should not somehow be the most athletic person in the party.

If this is the game I think it is, nobody in that party has more than eight strength.

[noob]

** The fact 8 strength allows to carry the whole team means that you should stop using the rod of wonders.
*** if you have 22 touch ac you should remind the gm to roll for his rays.

[Guizonde]

*shovels are not the "munitorum tried and tested way" to kill orks.
**surrounded by newbies to the 40k universe, i should stop referring to shovels as "field implement n°970".
***commissars never call upon "field implement n°970" for battlefield executions.
**** even for orks.
***** if i ever need to use a field implement n°970 to dig a hole, i should just shoot a few hellrounds into the ground and drop a grenade.

... incidentally, i like how this dm thinks.

[Socratov]

*shovels are not the "munitorum tried and tested way" to kill orks.
**surrounded by newbies to the 40k universe, i should stop referring to shovels as "field implement n°970".
***commissars never call upon "field implement n°970" for battlefield executions.
**** even for orks.
***** if i ever need to use a field implement n°970 to dig a hole, i should just shoot a few hellrounds into the ground and drop a grenade.

... incidentally, i like how this dm thinks.

With such a DM, who needs PC's?

[Anonymouswizard]

*shovels are not the "munitorum tried and tested way" to kill orks.
**surrounded by newbies to the 40k universe, i should stop referring to shovels as "field implement n°970".
***commissars never call upon "field implement n°970" for battlefield executions.
**** even for orks.
***** if i ever need to use a field implement n°970 to dig a hole, i should just shoot a few hellrounds into the ground and drop a grenade.

... incidentally, i like how this dm thinks.

Reminds me of the one time I did buy a shovel for a PC. That was one of the ones that went overboard on iron spikes, and I never got to use either of the things. It's a shame, if you're wilderness adventuring they're a really useful tool.

* May not ask if my necromancer has Weapon Proficiency (Shovel).
** I may not give a good reason as to why shovels, not scythes, should be the iconic weapon of necromancers.
*** My backstory can no longer include me getting caught grave robbing. That's what we'll be spending the entire campaign doing.