Relationship Woes and Advice XXVIII: Happy and Perfect!

[dehro]

Bah! As a Canadian, I've played with Quebecois folks who, upon trying to count distance, couldn't think of the number 4, had to stop, start over, and count in French! This same friend learned his first English from D&D books.

"Ok, I move one, two, three... euh... ... ... undeuxtroisquatcinq..."

On a serious note, I definitely get the concern. Though language issues can be minimized with nothing more than a group willing to be a bit patient while you search for a word.



In my headcanon, it is entitled: "We? Oui!"

My first ever game was in France, with players from Spain, USA-Thailand, the Emirates, Italy and the DM was French. Many of us had minimal grasp of either French or English. We had a blast

[Honest Tiefling]

Oh, and she refuses to play any RPG unless it's played in French, she did express interest but thinks her English is worse than it is

And convince her that her English is better then it is. What is it with European folks assuming their English is terrible?

That, or learn French. I assume it's good, so what if you made the character for her based on what she said and wrote it down in French? I'm actually serious, as it would be a good activity.

[Anonymouswizard]

Well I'm utterly charmed by this.

I'm imagining a sepia tone movie with a young Hugh Grant playing Anonymouswizard, and a young Audrey Tautou as the French lass.

If either of us was significantly older than the other (there's about a month's difference) I'd have gone for a bad anime myself.

'Sempai noticed me heart' and all that.

And convince her that her English is better then it is. What is it with European folks assuming their English is terrible?

I've noticed that the ones who think their English is terrible are generally fully fluent (barring accents) and can keep up with the language I use (my speech wouldn't be a problem, I have a speech impediment that is somewhere between stammer and 'William Shatner parody', but I speak in a weird way). I've previously pointed out that her English is better than several British people I know, and she still complains about it (and now wants me to learn French).

That, or learn French. I assume it's good, so what if you made the character for her based on what she said and wrote it down in French? I'm actually serious, as it would be a good activity.

Oui.

Yeah, it's a shame. I love roleplaying, and she actually does want to give it another go, but it's entirely the fact she's not willing to do it in English that's stopping us from playing together. I'm even planning to pick up a physical copy of Lamentations of the Flame Princess, because looking through the free pdf it's actually a good version of BD&D and simple enough that it doesn't require me to explain keywords or complexities.

EDIT: to clarify she played D&D in France years ago, but due to reasons including the person running it staring at her chest she didn't enjoy it. But she thinks it is the kind of thing she'll enjoy.

[2D8HP]

...I'd have gone for a bad anime myself.

'Sempai noticed me heart' and all that....

....I have a speech impediment that is somewhere between stammer and 'William Shatner parody', but I speak in a weird way). I've previously pointed out that her English is better than several British people I know, and she still complains about it (and now wants me to learn French)....

I'm just not able to imagine young Shatner as a Briton, but that really does sound like a good movie (hope it's more comedy than drama for your sake AW!)

...I'm even planning to pick up a physical copy of Lamentations of the Flame Princess, because looking through the free pdf it's actually a good version of BD&D and simple enough that it doesn't require me to explain keywords or complexities.....

Um... I like the rules for LotFP (because it's basically the D&D I'm more familiar with)...but I'd think twice about sharing the artwork with someone I wanted to romance (squiky art).. well if you both dig it that's a further bond!

[Anonymouswizard]

Um... I like the rules for LotFP (because it's basically the D&D I'm more familiar with)...but I'd think twice about sharing the artwork with someone I wanted to romance (squiky art).. well if you both dig it that's a further bond!

Spoiler: Tangent

Show

Yeah, I should have specified I wanted it as an introductory RPG in general, not in this specific case. I've heard about the art problems, and honestly I don't get the choice of art (beyond artistic expression, which is completely legitimate), but it's something I can live with.

It's weird, I understand that Basic Fantasy could do just as well, but LotFP feels better because it keeps the classes as archetypes rather than jobs. Wielder of weapons, specialist, empowered by the gods, dark magician, and standard examples of demihumans. I'd be printing out the class rules from the no art pdf, but a physical copy to run from is nice (plus supports the creators).

[Honest Tiefling]

Look, Mr. AW, I don't know if she actually doesn't want to roleplay in French or if she just wants to hear you speak French...Through perhaps you could convince her that roleplaying would be a great way to learn English, and compromise by switching languages every game? Relationships are about working out issues like this!

As for the art, um...Well, I didn't know that. Hrm. Is there a way to make a homebrew setting with less...Tentacles or gore? (I am not familiar with LoTFP, so I am just assuming what the issue is)

[georgie_leech]

As for the art, um...Well, I didn't know that. Hrm. Is there a way to make a homebrew setting with less...Tentacles or gore? (I am not familiar with LoTFP, so I am just assuming what the issue is)

The rules seem all well and good, but that's a fair assumption about the art. It tends to portray... well, injured characters after a dungeon, shall we say. That and the tentacles tend to be rather lovecraftian.

[Anonymouswizard]

Look, Mr. AW, I don't know if she actually doesn't want to roleplay in French or if she just wants to hear you speak French...Through perhaps you could convince her that roleplaying would be a great way to learn English, and compromise by switching languages every game? Relationships are about working out issues like this!

I wouldn't put it past her, she seems to be doing everything she can to convince me to learn the language. Heck, she knows if I'm running a group she's always welcome, so it probably a mixture of her being slightly shy (if she asks I did not say that), wanting me to learn French, and not wanting to try it with a load of people she doesn't know (although she's met half of my uni group, sadly after we finished our last game).

As for the art, um...Well, I didn't know that. Hrm. Is there a way to make a homebrew setting with less...Tentacles or gore? (I am not familiar with LoTFP, so I am just assuming what the issue is)

That'll be something I'll know if I get the book, but I'll have a look into the art. FWIW people here are making me less interested with even more descriptions of the artwork, which is sad because I really like the game. Bah, I'm going back to look through my collection, I must have something that won't turn me into an opinionated science fiction nerd that doesn't require players to memorise a whole host of abilities.

With regards to settings, it'll certainly be lighter on the gore because I have a weird relationship with it, on the tentacles I can't promise (she does like Lovecraft, even if she can't get subtler references in English). I was planning on Fantasy AGE with her anyway, she actually has enough knowledge that the core concepts are down, I just mentioned LotFP because introducing people to roleplaying has been on my mind, and it's essentially an updated version of what I started with.

[Anymage]

Thanks for the advice, if I can convince her to give it a chance (and once I have a job, can't leave the country while looking for one due to how benefits work). I do want to work everything out in person though, seeing how close it really is.

So you can't really get together, both indirectly due to tight funds and directly because of legal obligations. This is where I give my spiel about how flirting is fun, crushes are fun, and how you should enjoy both. But don't let your expectations get too far ahead of you.

Especially because my read on her is that part of the charm for her is that distance provides a safety cushion. It isn't an uncommon outlook; again, flirting and crushes are fun, and some people like a low pressure environment to enjoy them in. But in addition to everything else that can throw a long distance thing off, some people aren't keen on the way that being face to face instead of separated by a screen removes that comfy remove.

Stuff about LotFP

This bugs me more than it should. Do you know what sort of stories she likes?

It's one thing to bring a game newbie (or relative newbie) to D&D, because D&D is a cultural touchstone. Thanks to facebook memes, I've had plenty of people who have never filled out a character sheet make offhand comments about various alignments or natural 20s. But once you get past the part where D&D is its own huge thing, I'd want to know someone else's tastes before I recommended something to them. Just because I like how something plays or the setting it takes place in makes no guarantees how anybody else might feel.

[Honest Tiefling]

I wouldn't put it past her, she seems to be doing everything she can to convince me to learn the language. Heck, she knows if I'm running a group she's always welcome, so it probably a mixture of her being slightly shy (if she asks I did not say that), wanting me to learn French, and not wanting to try it with a load of people she doesn't know (although she's met half of my uni group, sadly after we finished our last game).

Mhm. If you pursue this, I think you're learning French.

I would tell her that you'd like for her to meet your friends, but if you want it as an activity to do together...You might need to learn to run a solo game.

But see if she's willing to join an English game with your buddies, but try to see if you can't wrangle up any wimmins to help her feel a bit less creeped on. And do make sure the woman in question knows this before they accidentally make an off-color joke towards said romantic interest. You might have to run that game in French, but it might increase her ability to join another if she isn't worried about learning the rules.

[Anonymouswizard]

So you can't really get together, both indirectly due to tight funds and directly because of legal obligations. This is where I give my spiel about how flirting is fun, crushes are fun, and how you should enjoy both. But don't let your expectations get too far ahead of you.

Especially because my read on her is that part of the charm for her is that distance provides a safety cushion. It isn't an uncommon outlook; again, flirting and crushes are fun, and some people like a low pressure environment to enjoy them in. But in addition to everything else that can throw a long distance thing off, some people aren't keen on the way that being face to face instead of separated by a screen removes that comfy remove.

Don't pretend to know me, the only reason I didn't ask her out earlier is because she said she wasn't interested! (Which was true at the time, humans are confusing.) EIDT: sorry, that came out harsher than I intended. Let's just say the interest was there on my side even when we met in person, just not pursued because I didn't think she wanted it.

But yeah, there's kind of an agreement not to seriously discuss anything over a screen, which means we'll have to wait until she's over in December. It's kind of uncertain what's going to happen at the moment, and anything could happen.

This bugs me more than it should. Do you know what sort of stories she likes?

It's one thing to bring a game newbie (or relative newbie) to D&D, because D&D is a cultural touchstone. Thanks to facebook memes, I've had plenty of people who have never filled out a character sheet make offhand comments about various alignments or natural 20s. But once you get past the part where D&D is its own huge thing, I'd want to know someone else's tastes before I recommended something to them. Just because I like how something plays or the setting it takes place in makes no guarantees how anybody else might feel.

Of course not, heck I try to avoid modern D&D because I think some of it's assumptions will turn a lot of people off (especially the 'most PCs use magic' one). However she's as much of a nerd as me, 'generic' fantasy or sf should work.

Mhm. If you pursue this, I think you're learning French.

Why do you think I'm trying to learn French. These accents are annoying.

I would tell her that you'd like for her to meet your friends, but if you want it as an activity to do together...You might need to learn to run a solo game.

Yeah, and I'd be totally willing to run a solo game if that's what she wants, it all depends. I'm going to have to properly talk to her about everything when I see her.

But see if she's willing to join an English game with your buddies, but try to see if you can't wrangle up any wimmins to help her feel a bit less creeped on. And do make sure the woman in question knows this before they accidentally make an off-color joke towards said romantic interest. You might have to run that game in French, but it might increase her ability to join another if she isn't worried about learning the rules.

I mean, the group I'd love to have her play in had two women in it, but the GM and his wife (one of the female players) are moving to Germany soon, so that's broken apart. Especially as one of the other players has trouble with the rules, so we're used to explaining that no, your margin of success is your skill minus your roll. I actually find a roleplaying group without a gender mix weird.

[Anymage]

Don't pretend to know me, the only reason I didn't ask her out earlier is because she said she wasn't interested! (Which was true at the time, humans are confusing.) EIDT: sorry, that came out harsher than I intended. Let's just say the interest was there on my side even when we met in person, just not pursued because I didn't think she wanted it.

For someone who doesn't know either you or her, that sounds a lot like exactly what I said. You're really into her. Her interest wasn't there when there was a real possibility of all the complications and pressures of an in person relationship were there, only to show more interest when you were more comfortably removed. What I'm saying is, don't be too surprised if her interest wanes when getting together physically becomes a real possibility again.

Of course not, heck I try to avoid modern D&D because I think some of it's assumptions will turn a lot of people off (especially the 'most PCs use magic' one). However she's as much of a nerd as me, 'generic' fantasy or sf should work.

So do you two raid in the same WoW guild? MMORPGs are a nerd thing.

Did she discuss what parts to get for her latest computer build with you? Building computers is a nerd thing.

"Nerd" is an incredibly broad word nowadays, verging on the point of uselessness. Thinking that because somebody falls under this very broad umbrella that they'll like anything and everything under said umbrella is common thinking, but it's not quite how the world actually works.

[Anonymouswizard]

For someone who doesn't know either you or her, that sounds a lot like exactly what I said. You're really into her. Her interest wasn't there when there was a real possibility of all the complications and pressures of an in person relationship were there, only to show more interest when you were more comfortably removed. What I'm saying is, don't be too surprised if her interest wanes when getting together physically becomes a real possibility again.

Ah, gotcha, I think I misread your post there.

So do you two raid in the same WoW guild? MMORPGs are a nerd thing.

Did she discuss what parts to get for her latest computer build with you? Building computers is a nerd thing.

"Nerd" is an incredibly broad word nowadays, verging on the point of uselessness. Thinking that because somebody falls under this very broad umbrella that they'll like anything and everything under said umbrella is common thinking, but it's not quite how the world actually works.

Sorry, sounded much more clear in my head. What I meant was that, with regards to nerding, we have very similar interests to a similar degree (there are some differences, she's more into comics while I'm more into animation, but similar subjects). But this autism made me not realise I hadn't actually said that. Gah, why is my native language so difficult?

But what I meant was, with regards to settings, I can gauge what she likes fairly easily, or at least better than most of my friends. Because we tend to like similar things, if not identical things.

[lio45]

Why do you think I'm trying to learn French. These accents are annoying.

Statistically, going by my experience and my samples, a Franco-Anglo couple in which each partner is decently good in the other language will nonetheless gravitate almost inevitably to using English between themselves for communication. I'd have been surprised if you ended up bucking the trend in practice, even without knowing your intentions.

[2D8HP]

..

I don't know how you'd get a copy, but there was a French translation of the '83 Redbook, finding an RPG to play together seems the least of your logistical impediments though.

I'm guessing that she'll be charmed by your attempts to learn French, so bonne chance!

[Anonymouswizard]

Statistically, going by my experience and my samples, a Franco-Anglo couple in which each partner is decently good in the other language will nonetheless gravitate almost inevitably to using English between themselves for communication. I'd have been surprised if you ended up bucking the trend in practice, even without knowing your intentions.

Yes, especially as I have trouble adding accents to my speech in English (she already complains I can't get her name right). But still, it would be nice to be able to speak with her family if I ever end up meeting htem.

I don't know how you'd get a copy, but there was a French translation of the '83 Redbook, finding an RPG to play together seems the least of your logistical impediments though.

I'm guessing that she'll be charmed by your attempts to learn French, so bonne chance!

Yep, logistical impediment number 64 is currently 'am I ever going to finish this JavaScript program', so there's only about 65 to go and then we get to choosing an RPG.

[Grytorm]

Hmm, I am thinking. I have half baked questions, in a way, one of them is, if I keep making the same mistakes does that make me a terrible person? Or perhaps not quite as histrionic, as has been discussed after a fashion I have been antisocial lately, afraid of talking to people. But I have started to open up a little, but I recognize the seeds of some of my classic mistakes of fixation and disturbed hope. The basic solution of trying to enforce isolationist depressed behaviors seems unhealthy as well as dissatisfying. Any advice.

[Protocol]

Struggling to not make the same mistakes you've made a dozen times before does not make you a terrible person. It makes you a person.

[hawkboy772042]

Don't.
by how you describe the unfolding events, you've dodged a bullet.

You're right. I overlooked a major issue about her when we first started dating. She seemed to get angry over relatively minor things and give disproportionate penalties for them. The best example being when she decided to key a few cars that were parked on the sidewalk nearby her house.

As I was moving out, she finally revealed to me that she has been seeing a shrink for the past couple years and made sense out of her actions. My only conclusions being that she was either nuts or there was a bigger problem with me that she didn't want to tell me and she confirmed the former.

[Honest Tiefling]

hawkboy 772042, I am going to repeat, that one was crazy. You can do so much better then a woman who decides to randomly vandalize property. She might have lied about seeing a professional, or has been lying to them. They can't help the unwilling.

[8BitNinja]

Hey Playground, so I'm in need of some advice right now. I hope you guys can help me.

So there is girl that I'm really good friends with. I also really like her, but I don't know how to tell her. I'm kind of afraid that if I tell her, but she doesn't like me, that she will find it really weird and she won't want to be friends with me. I realize that real life is not a movie, and that a dramatic confession is weird and would probably keep anyone away from anyone else, and I do know that when you tell someone that you are interested in them doesn't mean that you two are now married. I also know how much I sound like a 14 year old. It's just that when though I like her, I really value my friendship with her and don't want to lose that if rejected.

Also, to quote Lord of the Rings, don't tell the elf. By elf I mean GreenElf. He's my brother and probably can guess who I am talking about, making this situation overall more awkward

[Honest Tiefling]

Unfortunately, 8BitNinja, there's no good answer. Admitting romantic feelings can put a damper on relationships. If you are very good friends you stand a good chance of repairing the damage, but might need a break. But, nothing ventured, nothing gained. Also, your feelings might complicate things if you feel like she's the one who got away because you didn't make a move.

As for the actual confession, find out an interest of hers. Invite her on a date involving said interest. A clear, polite indication of romantic intent. If she rejects you, simply take it at face value and state that you'd like to remain friends. But for the love of Pelor OUTRIGHT SAY YOU WANT A DATE. If I had a dollar for every geek girl that was oblivious to being hit on...Okay, I'd probably only have 15 dollars, but still. Be CLEAR or you might accidentally have a few friends invited to the outing.

Check for a few signs of interest from her. Does she treat you differently from other guys? Does her body language indicate she is interested, such as touching of her hair or leaning in or having most of her body pointed in your direction? Might be hard to get an unbiased opinion. Depending on how good of a brother Greenelf is, maybe ask him for an opinion. Or don't, if he's going to be that type of brother.

[Aedilred]

Hey Playground, so I'm in need of some advice right now. I hope you guys can help me.

So there is girl that I'm really good friends with. I also really like her, but I don't know how to tell her. I'm kind of afraid that if I tell her, but she doesn't like me, that she will find it really weird and she won't want to be friends with me. I realize that real life is not a movie, and that a dramatic confession is weird and would probably keep anyone away from anyone else, and I do know that when you tell someone that you are interested in them doesn't mean that you two are now married. I also know how much I sound like a 14 year old. It's just that when though I like her, I really value my friendship with her and don't want to lose that if rejected.

Also, to quote Lord of the Rings, don't tell the elf. By elf I mean GreenElf. He's my brother and probably can guess who I am talking about, making this situation overall more awkward

There really is no easy answer. If you say something to her about it it's going to have an impact on your relationship even if both of you agree to try to ignore/forget about it. Best bet, I think, is to try to judge as best you can whether she might reciprocate your feelings, and if so, ask her out. If it doesn't seem like she does/would, keep it under your hat. There is, obviously, still a lot of risk involved in both approaches. Relationships are hard.

If you're feeling particularly 14-year-old-ish you could try asking a mutual friend for advice as they will have seen you together and be in a better position to judge whether she might be interested in you. But that is embarrassing, risks their blabbing to someone and word getting back to her somehow, and isn't entirely foolproof either. (e.g. a young lady of my former acquaintance asked a mutual friend whether they thought I would be interested; they said yes; I wasn't; things got awkward.) So proceed with that at your own risk.

[Tvtyrant]

Hey Playground, so I'm in need of some advice right now. I hope you guys can help me.

So there is girl that I'm really good friends with. I also really like her, but I don't know how to tell her. I'm kind of afraid that if I tell her, but she doesn't like me, that she will find it really weird and she won't want to be friends with me. I realize that real life is not a movie, and that a dramatic confession is weird and would probably keep anyone away from anyone else, and I do know that when you tell someone that you are interested in them doesn't mean that you two are now married. I also know how much I sound like a 14 year old. It's just that when though I like her, I really value my friendship with her and don't want to lose that if rejected.

Also, to quote Lord of the Rings, don't tell the elf. By elf I mean GreenElf. He's my brother and probably can guess who I am talking about, making this situation overall more awkward

Seems natural to me. I would go with "hey I am starting to develop feelings for you. Do you think there is room in our relationship for romance?"

If no, say you understand and want to remain friends. If yes, gold. The important thing is to deal with it before developing a complex about the issue.

[Anonymouswizard]

Hey Playground, so I'm in need of some advice right now. I hope you guys can help me.

So there is girl that I'm really good friends with. I also really like her, but I don't know how to tell her. I'm kind of afraid that if I tell her, but she doesn't like me, that she will find it really weird and she won't want to be friends with me. I realize that real life is not a movie, and that a dramatic confession is weird and would probably keep anyone away from anyone else, and I do know that when you tell someone that you are interested in them doesn't mean that you two are now married. I also know how much I sound like a 14 year old. It's just that when though I like her, I really value my friendship with her and don't want to lose that if rejected.

Also, to quote Lord of the Rings, don't tell the elf. By elf I mean GreenElf. He's my brother and probably can guess who I am talking about, making this situation overall more awkward

Yo! I've had to tell friends that I like them quite a bit (including the one I mentioned in this thread, we've recently graduated to acting like lovestruck 13 year olds). It's weird.

The first thing is that you shouldn't force her to respond or do it in a place where she can't leave or ask you to leave if she needs to work out her feelings about it or whatever. Then it'll take it's course from there. But don't phrase in in a such a way that you imply you want a certain reaction, but after you've told her you can work out what your friendship is going to be like.

In some ways the worst thing you can do is to say nothing. If you don't tell her it will be really awkward (as I found out when I put off telling this French girl by about a month because she'd just got out of a relationship) especially for you, and if she found out some other way then it makes you look like a liar.

So the answer is that either you tell her and sort everything out like adults, and perhaps be pleasantly surprised, or nothing changes. While the familiar may be comfortable staying in it means you'll worry about the could haves. Maybe you end up with a girlfriend, maybe you still have a friend, maybe you end up with neither, but without saying anything you want know.

[Coidzor]

Hey Playground, so I'm in need of some advice right now. I hope you guys can help me.

So there is girl that I'm really good friends with. I also really like her, but I don't know how to tell her. I'm kind of afraid that if I tell her, but she doesn't like me, that she will find it really weird and she won't want to be friends with me. I realize that real life is not a movie, and that a dramatic confession is weird and would probably keep anyone away from anyone else, and I do know that when you tell someone that you are interested in them doesn't mean that you two are now married. I also know how much I sound like a 14 year old. It's just that when though I like her, I really value my friendship with her and don't want to lose that if rejected.

Also, to quote Lord of the Rings, don't tell the elf. By elf I mean GreenElf. He's my brother and probably can guess who I am talking about, making this situation overall more awkward

Ask her on a date. A proper one, mind, not something rubbish like seeing a movie. This should generally either lead to a date or a conversation about why you're asking her out on a date. From there things should shake out as they shake out.

Whether you're able to stay friends if she rejects you depends upon a number of variables, most of them are out of your control, just as whether she rejects you is out of your control. All you control is what you do.

[georgie_leech]

Worth noting that there is a second person in this equation. Sometimes things are weird afterwards not because of your efforts, but in spite of them. I've had friends explicitly stop hanging out because they felt weird after I had expressed romantic interests, even after making it clear I accepted their answer and wouldn't try to pursue anything. So, yeah, it's worth examining whether you're willing to risk the friendship, weighed by likelihood and all that.

[Anymage]

Hey Playground, so I'm in need of some advice right now. I hope you guys can help me.

So there is girl that I'm really good friends with. I also really like her, but I don't know how to tell her. I'm kind of afraid that if I tell her, but she doesn't like me, that she will find it really weird and she won't want to be friends with me. I realize that real life is not a movie, and that a dramatic confession is weird and would probably keep anyone away from anyone else, and I do know that when you tell someone that you are interested in them doesn't mean that you two are now married. I also know how much I sound like a 14 year old. It's just that when though I like her, I really value my friendship with her and don't want to lose that if rejected.

Also, to quote Lord of the Rings, don't tell the elf. By elf I mean GreenElf. He's my brother and probably can guess who I am talking about, making this situation overall more awkward

"Wanna smash?"

Coidzor has the right of it. First, in that your best move here is to just up and ask her out. Long, flowery proclamations of your feelings will make her feel like you're putting her up on a pedestal and expecting way more of her than a reasonable person can give. Even just trying to repress your feelings will mean that you'll constantly be making eyes at her while trying to deny that you have feelings on the matter; we're not as good at burying what we think as we like to think we are. And mark my word, if you do repress, you'll wind up hating everyone involved when someone who actually does have the nerve winds up making a move.

As far as not making it awkward, if she isn't interested, just take a bit to clear your head and then try to act normally. There aren't any guarantees in life, but in general people will take their cues from you. The only other relevant advice is that if she isn't interested, that "take a bit to clear your head" part should involve busying yourself with people who aren't her and who aren't part of the major friend group that she's part of. You'll be a little prone to fixating in the immediate aftermath, but a good group of people to help you focus elsewhere should help you speed through that phase.

[2D8HP]

Hey Playground, so I'm in need of some advice right now. I hope you guys can help me.

So there is girl that...

Oh boy 8Bit, maybe take some comfort in that your far from alone in having this dilemma.

For whatever it's worth me and my wife were acquaintances/friends for over a year before we became a romantic couple.

I was around 22 or 23 when we met, and I had a lot of friends male and female, now I'm nearly 50 and my wife is the only person left that I know from those days.

Odds are you won't still know each other in 25 years (well maybe with "Facebook" etc. you will, but I've never used that, so I can't tell).

Romantic break-ups are painful, so is regret, so is losing a good friend, and if she couples with someone else you will feel envious, so comme ci, comme ça.

Also the "romance" part of a "romantic relationship" typically doesn't even last ten years (sometimes you may get a brief relapse and "fall in love with each other again", but don't count on it) and long-term relationships are pretty much based on friendship and shared memories. If your lucky you'll both feel "butterflies-in-the-stomache-in-love" at the same time, and you'll get to enjoy that for a while, but keep in mind that the younger she and you are the less likely it is that you'll stay together (if that's your goal).

@Honest Tiefling's advice is really good, as is the rest of the advice you've already received. If you want to "date" use the words "I'd like to go on a date with you".

How likely that she will say yes? Well that mostly depends on "where she's at in her life", and from internet dating sites data, it seems thst women seeking men are more likely to not have the same "type" that they're looking for than men seeking women are, which makes it harder to guess if you're her "type" but in general if your tall, relatively broad shouldered, narrow waisted ("V" shaped), deep voiced, and most importantly she sees that other women call you "cute", than your odds are better (yes most of that is not in your immediate control).

From previous post's of yours it seems like you're basically a "rural American guy".

Does she like horses, hiking, and line-dancing?

Or does she like art galleries and night-clubbing?

Differences in tastes may work (I like watching The Princess Bride, and The 7th Voyage of Sinbad, which my wife doesn't care for, she likes watching Game of Thrones, House of Cards, and 24 more than I do. I hate 24!), but being able to laugh at the same things is very important, also, not so much later, but when you're young similar tastes in music is important.

[Honest Tiefling]

Differences in tastes may work (I like watching The Princess Bride, and The 7th Voyage of Sinbad, which my wife doesn't care for, she likes watching Game of Thrones, House of Cards, and 24 more than I do. I hate 24!), but being able to laugh at the same things is very important, also, not so much later, but when you're young similar tastes in music is important.

Which is why I recommended a date tailored to her interests. It shows a romantic interest as opposed to a merely sexual one since you paid attention to her. That should earn you some brownie points.

...Also, if you want some tips, women love men who can make them laugh, just a thought.