Let's talk about those funny moments, when a player attacks NPC

[Barbarian Horde]

Those awkward moments where you've got to go off script. The moment when your realize your face palming. That moment when you cringe because you realized that someone just messed up and now it's time to roll out the consequences.


Any funny stories about a PC that really shouldn't of been attacked, but someone in the group apparently suffered from brief case of insanity and tried anyways?

Mine was barbarian half orc with intelligence score of 6 wanting to provoke a young red dragon to a 1v1 in a test to prove himself as a true warrior at level 7. What followed was a thrashing, and some light conversation. I had communicated I would let them go. Only one of them would stay behind as a prisoner until the others could return with a handsome amount of gold in exchange for their friend. Mean time said friend would have to crawl into my NPC's mouth and wait there till they got back. The barbarian offered to stay, and climbed right on in...

[Florian]

More a funny reaction than a funny story.

Played an investigative scenario in a setting with a strict hierarchical society with each social tier having absolutely power over the lower tiers and absolute obedience to the upper tiers.

So, the party is interrogating a witness who proves to be "uncooperative", bordering on "renitent" but is on a far lower social tier than the characters.

"I draw my sword and cut him down".

"Ok, he´s dead".

"Sh** Fu**! What´s that? Why did you let me kill the only witness!?"

[Crake]

A level 1 barbarian (read: savage) elf walked into the local weaponsmith's store and marveled at his masterwork wares, only to find out how much he was charging. 300 gold? Preposturous! Needless to say, striking him with the butt of his own weapon caused the smith to call for the guards, who promptly arrested the barbarian, much to the surprise of the player. Apparently beating someone in their own store didn't seem like it would warrant consequences?

[Barbarian Horde]

That guy who attacks the town guard and expects to get a 1v1 instead of more patrols joining the fray.

[NOhara24]

A level 1 barbarian (read: savage) elf walked into the local weaponsmith's store and marveled at his masterwork wares, only to find out how much he was charging. 300 gold? Preposturous! Needless to say, striking him with the butt of his own weapon caused the smith to call for the guards, who promptly arrested the barbarian, much to the surprise of the player. Apparently beating someone in their own store didn't seem like it would warrant consequences?

I always forewarn new players of this. Your actions have consequences, just like in any other mode of existence. People are funny like that when it comes to D&D.

[Buufreak]

A level 1 barbarian (read: savage) elf walked into the local weaponsmith's store and marveled at his masterwork wares, only to find out how much he was charging. 300 gold? Preposturous! Needless to say, striking him with the butt of his own weapon caused the smith to call for the guards, who promptly arrested the barbarian, much to the surprise of the player. Apparently beating someone in their own store didn't seem like it would warrant consequences?

It only took me DMing for 3 groups trying this crap before I made every merchant ever a level 15 warlord with a +5 battleaxe and +5 blunderbuss. The point eventually got across.

[Elricaltovilla]

That guy who attacks the town guard and expects to get a 1v1 instead of more patrols joining the fray.

I actually did this once on purpose to try and get as many town guards to attack me as possible. We needed to sneak into a certain Noble's Villa but there were a lot of guards around.

Since I had the world's worst stealth modifier and was playing a well optimized Warder, I just held my ground and kept as many guards as I could locked down. It worked OK.

[BloodSnake'sCha]

I tried to snipe two guards that was playing it throwing rocks on their helmets when the party were using magic, stolen armor(from the guards that tried to rape our bard) and bluff in order to go to past the fighting line of two armys(we burned a city that were under one of the army's control and killed some guards when I tried to help the sorcerer to get out of jail).
The party tied me up using my rope and took my weapons.
I was tied to my riding dog(the second time) all day.
After I was released the sorcerer took my wepons with his mage hand and held them high in the air(I wasn't able to reach them).
The party made me promise I will not try to kill out of a fight without permission.

My PC was the oldest in the party.

Spoiler: A very small part of my PC background

Show

My PC wasn't​ familiar with living with other and was raised by an epic assassin\rouge\bladestorm, she knew that killing was always a solution and that was the easiest thing to do.

[kelumhi]

Party just finished an adventure and had a lot of loot it was looking to offload. Got on a boat to go across the bay to a main city. The C.E. barbarian ended up slaughtering everyone while the other PCs slept. No one had any ability to navigate where they ended up. After a few weeks of starvation and failed percentile roles the drifted to a monster island. I think the barbarian still classified it as a win.

[Yondu]

Reminds me an old Ad&D game I was GMing, the players starts in an Inn in a big city of the Realms, a group of Chaotics PC (and Players alike) , they decided to bortch my session by starting a brawl in the inn, destroying everything, the Innkeeper call the Guard, and as, they were high level (around 10), they decided to face the guards and killed them all....
Facing a Shield Wall of Pikes and Heavy Crossbowmans (Played under Player's Option Rules with Criticals), they were cut in pieces, as they have charged thru the Pikes and been cut down by the Crossbows, at the end, 3 of 4 PC's were down, and one flee like a coward.... beware of the 1st Level Guards....