Dominic Deegan: Oracle for Hire

[Johnny Blade]

I have no experience with alcohol, but isn't it a bad idea to drink it just after vomiting? I would think that would just make things worse. Of course, I know that Dominic was just 'being funny' (har har, good one Dommy!).

Well, he's going to get drunk faster, but apart from that there are no real negative consequences. Unless he, of course, still feels a little unhealthy, which is not entirely unlikely, given that, after all, he is sick according to Mookie. In that case, no one can tell what would happen, but drinking while being ill is not the best idea.

Also, I once saw someone wearing this t-shirt. Someone I knew, actually. It's been a while since I last spoke to this specific person.
EDIT: Since apparently (and unsurprisingy) two versions of this thing are available, I should probably add that it's no coincidence that I linked to the men's wear section.

[Spiryt]

Yeah, there are guys who are just drinking, vomiting beacuse of too much alcohol, then drinking again.


Unrelated note: Why Strip Slays (the best thread ever) is dying, even though we recently had few unbelievably idiotic strips ?

[Raroy]

I'm not surprised Mookie is selling shirts. I would be surpised if I saw someone wearing one of them though.

Men and Woman are equal. Expect, if you don't make Woman more equal to Men your sexist. It must be hard on young boys because they are constantly taught that woman are better then them. They are also taught that they are mystical, devious, and sensual creatures that are an enigma waiting to be tamed. Truly, the only reason to associate with such beings would be for pleasure fueled by grand lust enduring though a man's prime. Oh, what fate is that of men to be driven by instinct to spread their seed to heavenly beings so they might bear offspring to continue the cycle of life. And yet, we lowly, sex crazed, pigs must know deep down in our hearts that a woman is superior and we need them for they certainly don't need us.

It begs a question of how are two species can even breed. We are so different and yet are genetics match so. The only reason of how beasts and angles can mate is that god has guided his hand to make it so. Eve had come from Adam, she had come from his speck of purity and have taken shape into what we would call a female. Pure and vivid in form, and with it innocents to deception. The innocence and glory of a woman came sparkling though to the tree of knowledge which there that the snake had tricked her into bitting the forbidden fruit allowing god to banish Adam and Eve from paradise and opening to the way to mating. The only real fourtun that has befallen from that even is that there are more woman around us in this dreaded masculine world. Woman are now something more. They are a symbol of what the world should be, feminine in nature. They are what a man could never be.

Meh, I'm bored.

[Green Bean]

...

O...kay.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

Yeah, there are guys who are just drinking, vomiting beacuse of too much alcohol, then drinking again.


Unrelated note: Why Strip Slays (the best thread ever) is dying, even though we recently had few unbelievably idiotic strips ?

The strips are slaying themselves. It's like a sadder form of suicide.

[Spiryt]

Meh, I'm bored.

Don't say.

The strips are slaying themselves. It's like a sadder form of suicide.

Well, at least Sunday's one still got a potential. Maybe I'll try.

[Oracle_Hunter]

Well... if people are feeling bored, I've been toying with the idea of calibrating the rock/suck of each Arc on some kind of scale. To start with, we'll need to rank all the Arcs, of course.

There are 22, so here's my rough ranking (from best to worst):

Spoiler

Show

22) Storm of Souls
21) Visions of Doom
20) Two Thief
19) The Battle for Barthis
18) Oracle Hunter (*Provisional*)
17) Ecstasy and Evil
16) Into the Woods
15) Luna
14) Wrapped and Returned
13) The Party
12) Couch Forts and Crying
11) Makeover!
10) Mob Mentality
9) The Curse
8) Oracle for Hire
7) It's My First Day
6) Class Action
5) Hello, Nurse
4) The War in Hell (*for Rape-Love*)
3) Endings and Annoyances
2) Snowsong
1) Shadow of Siegfried

Most of the trouble comes in the middle, where a bunch of "transition Arcs" are placed. I included them for completeness... but perhaps you have stronger feelings than I.

So, what do you think? Where did I misstep and how would you fix it?

There, I hope nobody is bored anymore

[InkEyes]

Meh, I'm bored.

You're just jealous because you don't come equipped with your own babymaker.

[Turcano]

And I'd like to take time out to curse everyone in this thread. Curse you I say! I had given up DD for a bad comic, only to stumble upon this thread and thus have it elevated to the status of a train wreck from which I can not turn away.

Again, curse you all!!!

One of us! One of us!

I guess Mookie-D won't actually be affected by the virus, and we just wasted a week doing nothing.

Stupid Mookie... you could have done something with this set up. I'm beginning to agree that DD is actually Too Good For That Bastard.

It's like Mookie is playing a highly successful game of Expectations Limbo: he manages to squeak under no matter how low the bar is set.

[Mewtarthio]

You're just jealous because you don't come equipped with your own babymaker.

I envision a world in which we have no need for organic babymakers. All children shall be grown within tanks. The creches shall be enormous, towering structures, the walls lined with softly glowing tanks containing new human life. At first, the scientists will ensure each infant gets the appropriate nutrients, and then they will be replaced with automated machines. At first, parents will claim their children to raise them with their fundamentally human and flawed ideals, and then all humans will be raised by robot nannies, their pre-recorded lectures on morality instilling us all with a duty--nay, a desire!--to work for a higher, more enlightened ideal. And then... eudemonia!

Plus mandatory government confiscation of all fetuses will put an end to that annoying "abortion" debate. Good? Bad? It's moot now!

Okay, this is getting serious. Mookie, please go back to where it was fun to mock you.

[Oracle_Hunter]

I envision a world in which we have no need for organic babymakers. All children shall be grown within tanks. The creches shall be enormous, towering structures, the walls lined with softly glowing tanks containing new human life. At first, the scientists will ensure each infant gets the appropriate nutrients, and then they will be replaced with automated machines. At first, parents will claim their children to raise them with their fundamentally human and flawed ideals, and then all humans will be raised by robot nannies, their pre-recorded lectures on morality instilling us all with a duty--nay, a desire!--to work for a higher, more enlightened ideal. And then... eudemonia!

Plus mandatory government confiscation of all fetuses will put an end to that annoying "abortion" debate. Good? Bad? It's moot now!

Okay, this is getting serious. Mookie, please go back to where it was fun to mock you.

Towering structures? Robot Teachers? How dystopian!

If I had a desire to own a mechanical babymaker, I'd choose a more convenient desktop model

I second Mewtarthio about lacking things to mock. Without my daily infusion of snark-fuel, I'll be but a shadow of my former self.

[Monnock]

Babies being grown in tanks always struck me as pointless.

That is all.

[Raroy]

Growing a baby in a tank is a lot less troublesome then having one inside you. I would love to have female sexual organs. Just not babies. Babies are drooling sacks of fat that only cause worry and pain.

[Thayus]

Babies being grown in tanks always struck me as pointless.

That is all.

Means the mother doesn't have to deal with the stress of having multiple kids. That stuff wears you out.

-Albert

[InkEyes]

Growing a baby in a tank is a lot less troublesome then having one inside you. I would love to have female sexual organs. Just not babies. Babies are drooling sacks of fat that only cause worry and pain.

Man, you don't want female sexual organs. It's all fun and games 'till you start bleeding out of your vagigi. The cramps suck too.

Then again I've received reliable evidence that it hurts to be kicked in the nuts. Maybe when they make the babymaking tubes they'll remove all sexual organs and replace them with something cool... like lazor cannons or two-way radios. The opportunities are endless.

[averagejoe]

Then again I've received reliable evidence that it hurts to be kicked in the nuts.

Yes, but this is also one of the most hilarious forms of physical comedy. You just look at it like this: getting kicked in the nuts may hurt, but it enriches the world by its very existence. Anyways, if you're getting kicked in the nuts as consistantly as, say, a woman gets cramps, you probably have bigger problems than can be solved by a gender swap.

[Oracle_Hunter]

Then again I've received reliable evidence that it hurts to be kicked in the nuts. Maybe when they make the babymaking tubes they'll remove all sexual organs and replace them with something cool... like lazor cannons or two-way radios. The opportunities are endless.

I, for one, thing sexual organs are already pretty cool

aaaaand this derailment has gotten as far as it is safe to go. Congratulations everyone for making the most severe* derailment of this thread, ever.

*Severe refers to the degree of derailment, not the length of the derailment. This was at least a 60 degree deviation from the normal, and may in fact be completely orthogonal.

[Raroy]

Actually, if a woman gets kicked in the pubic bone it hurts. You see, there is an area of unprotected bone there like the shin. So, getting kicked in the pubic bone is around equivalent of being hit in the shins. I myself don't mind getting hit in the testicals, I've been hit there so many times it doesn't hurt anymore.

As for thread derailment, were just talking for a while, tommorw we will get back on track.

[Oracle_Hunter]

As for thread derailment, were just talking for a while, tommorw we will get back on track.

No, no, that's fine, I just wanted to give Winterwind (the great Archivist of this Thread) a heads-up when the next Thread Awards are being given out, to include a "most divergent derailment" prize

So... carry on, I suppose?

EDIT:
I suppose the next Thread Awards Day will be after we hit 9000 posts or 200 pages, whichever comes first.

When was the last one? Page 100?

[InkEyes]

I myself don't mind getting hit in the testis, I've been hit there so many times it doesn't hurt anymore.

Mind if I ask how you managed that? Sports? If so why not wear a cup? Some crazy guy dare?

[Shades of Gray]

Just finished reading through all the comics...

I... Need... MORE!

[Raroy]

Mind if I ask how you managed that? Sports? If so why not wear a cup? Some crazy guy dare?

I just get beat up alot. I've become a lot more resistant to pain. You just got to command your body to feel things differently with your mind.

[ElfLad]

Just finished reading through all the comics...

I... Need... MORE!

More tranquilizers? You poor thing!

[Monnock]

I think the whole tube-grown babies thing is a bit dumb because there is already a mechanism that works, and has worked, for... a very long time. Why re-invent the wheel? Fortunately, the human race as a whole is not at risk of dying out from lack of new babies, and there are ample alternatives out there that do not involve vat-grown infants that are much easier, cheaper, safer, and all-around more effective than doing so artificially. If it is ever done artificially, it will resemble human anatomy more so than a machine.

Mind if I ask how you managed that? Sports? If so why not wear a cup? Some crazy guy dare?

Just as a side note, I was only hit once (and not that hard either) by a soccer ball and the result was the next day I had to have surgery. The pain is so intense because it is very sensitive to damage. Fortunately I wasn't a 'tough guy' about it and actually went to the hospital.

(Sorry, I'll stop being a bad de-railer now)

[InkEyes]

I just get beat up alot. I've become a lot more resistant to pain. You just got to command your body to feel things differently with your mind.

Sorta like a superhero

...

...

awesome


Anyway, Dominic Deegan sure sucks, huh? It could make a black hole cry with the sheer magnitude of its suck!

[Monnock]

Anyway, Dominic Deegan sure sucks, huh? It could make a black hole cry with the sheer magnitude of its suck!

Black holes don't suck, actually, contrary to popular belief. Matter falls into a black hole. Another popular misconception is that the gravitational pull of a black hole is stronger than the star that generated it. This is not true. If our star were to morph into a black hole this very moment (without losing any mass in the process), it would not effect the orbital patterns of any of the planets in this solar system.

The only 'change' in gravity comes from any point that is below the surface area that the star originally inhabited. The amount of gravitational pull becomes exponentially greater the closer an object gets to its center of gravity, until finally it reaches the point known as the event horizon (not to be confused with the movie bearing it's name).

Oh... it was a joke! Ah ha ha! Ha ha... ha... Er... Yes.

...

Ok, I'm going to sleep now.

[Raroy]

My super power is altering my nervous system? Awesome.

Yes, the sheer amount of suck has stop a star from going nova.

[ElfLad]

Black holes don't suck, actually, contrary to popular belief.

Sure they do, but they don't swallow.

[Turcano]

Maybe when they make the babymaking tubes they'll remove all sexual organs and replace them with something cool... like lazor cannons or two-way radios. The opportunities are endless.

Or boxing-glove guns.

[Oracle_Hunter]

Or boxing-glove guns.

The dude's hat has "DP" written on it... and the codpiece has two boxing gloves...

/dies