Baldur's Gate Solo Cavalier Run - Part 2 ermahGerd!

[LibraryOgre]

Praise the beneficent spike trap!

What will be Eyrie's first edict as new-minted deity?

So, Dragonsfoot has a monthly contest to design something for games. I won last month, so I declared this month "Design a good deity with a traditionally evil portfolio".

I intend to have Our Lady of Murder written up as mine. ;-)

[Lector87]

The Asylum Dungeon - Level 1 and Level 2 - Cleared!

Spoiler: Kur-tul-mak! Kur-tul-mak!

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Trying hard to stay focused with Monster Hunter World just around the corner.

[Honest Tiefling]

Trying hard to stay focused with Monster Hunter World just around the corner.

You can do it! Stay in the game, Lady Gerd needs to spread her brand of Murdery Justice to all of the planes.

[Lector87]

You can do it! Stay in the game, Lady Gerd needs to spread her brand of Murdery Justice to all of the planes.

No worries, mostly joking!

I'm going to try to finish up the Asylum tonight.

[Lector87]

Lady Gerd was very lucky to find a bunch of throwing axes in this random box in the middle of the dungeon...

Spoiler: face it tiger, you just hit the jackpot

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...because I'm pretty sure this is the only spot in the game were you cannot progress if you don't have a ranged option!

Spoiler: I feel like she should get a giant stuffed bear if she hits the kobold first try

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The throwing animation feels very...Mario Bros?

[Lector87]

The Asylum Dungeon - Cleared!

Spoiler: Lady Gerd feels really fulfilled now that Apparation-Sempai has affirmed her sanity

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I'm proud to say that not only did I not look up any of the riddles, but I also guessed all the answers before I even looked at the options.

Spoiler: does it like riddles, precious?

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[Lector87]

Well.

Okay.

Spoiler: Failure is the Only Option

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chugga chugga chugga chugga choo choooo

(Death Count: 23)

[Lector87]

Going down...

Spoiler: something something sinking feeling pun

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[Mordokai]

Ah, sahuagin city I hold such nice memories about it... there's just an epic feeling to it.

I hope you managed to kill Saemon before going down

So, who's Lady Gerd going to side with? I can see good reasons for either side.

[Lector87]

The City of Caverns - Cleared!

Spoiler: brb watching Ponyo

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Gerd ended up siding with the rebels. Geopolitical concerns aside, it seemed wrong to betray the trust of the priestess who saved her life. Immediate, personal debts always take priority over more theoretical considerations.

Also, what is with hearts being a regularly collected item in this game? Somebody's been listening to too much Christina Perri.

TIL that Lady Biff does not trip traps, and cannot interact with chests.

Spoiler: oops, oops, oops

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(Death Count: 26)

Also, THIS GUY

Spoiler: this guy is my favorite

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I consider this whole encounter to be THE gold standard of great CRPG interactions. You're in an underwater city of fishmen, trying to collect a magic tooth, which is guarded by a Beholder summoned by a mad drow - and this scenario produces one of the best conversations in the whole game.

[Lector87]

The Underdark - Cleared

Spoiler: okay, not the ENTIRE Underdark, but just give her time

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Lost one life to, you guessed it, a surprise Imprisonment spell.

Spoiler: it's like the game uses a cheat code

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(Death Count: 27)

I think Lady Gerd has hit her class level cap at 34. The experience bar doesn't appear to be moving anymore.

If I hit Chapter 6 without any really challenging fights, I'll nudge that difficulty slider up to Insane and see how that works out.

[Lector87]

Lady Gerd's Recipe for Instant Self-Satisfaction:

Spoiler: tempted to just stand there a bit, maybe whistle something jaunty

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EDIT: yes of course I take the tainted tadpoles, what kind of question is that

[Lector87]

Kuo-Toa, Beholder, and Mind Flayer Dungeons - Cleared!

Spoiler: pop quiz - what are brain golems made of?

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Lost a couple lives to sneaky spells...

Spoiler: shouldn't even count, really

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(Death Count: 29)

...but got the Armor of the Hart!

Spoiler: behold her cervine glory

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I believe that just leaves the matter of a disgruntled dragon and a city full of drow. Onward!

[Lector87]

Chapter 5 - Cleared!

While running errands for the charming servants of Lolth, Lady Gerd encountered some old friends from her time as a gladiator for the Mind Flayers. She wasn't particularly happy to see them. Gave them back their dumb silver sword though. People have got to stop swiping those things.

Spoiler: I actually love all Gith forever, because Dak'kon

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Pulled the classic double-dog triple-cross with the fake dragon's eggs, and walked out of Ust Natha without a scratch. Lady Gerd can be one smooth operator when she has to be.

Spoiler: okay, but WHY was she just, uh, carrying around elder brain blood?

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Returned the eggs to her new dragon friend, and got a magic ride right to the surface.

Spoiler: time to run some more errands for condescending pointy-ears

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All of which was FAR TOO EASY. Which is why the rest of the game...will be INSANE.

(Uh, is anybody still reading?)

[Keltest]

Isnt Lady Gerd's next victim another dragon? Why does anyone even fight her anymore? Minsc is right, Evil should just throw itself on her sword(s) to save us all some time.

[Triaxx]

I'm still reading, I just have nothing to say. I've had too many games bog down in the Underdark to be interested in it anymore.

[Lector87]

Alright, let's dial this Up to 11.

Spoiler: Gerd shows off by removing her *enemy's* power limiter

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[Lector87]

Underdark Exit Area, North Forest, Forest of Tethir - Cleared!

Spoiler: because recovering her life essence can wait, no rush

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Some rando named Drizzle stopped Lady Gerd in the forest and offered to lend her a hand with her vampire problems. Thanks, but no thanks; this is a personal matter. Besides, Gerd's pretty sure that the drow and his party of low-levels just wanted to tag along to pick up XP. They oughta join a guild for that, not beg random strangers for a team-up.

[Keltest]

If it weren't for the fact that I'm pretty sure she would Fall in doing so, I would totally say Lady Gerd should kill Drizzt and take his swords. They have names and everything!

[Lector87]

If it weren't for the fact that I'm pretty sure she would Fall in doing so, I would totally say Lady Gerd should kill Drizzt and take his swords. They have names and everything!

Oh it's very, VERY tempting. But one restriction I've placed on this game is that she can't act too far outside her alignment. I'm not RPing this much, but you have to have SOME standards.

[Lector87]

Bodhi - Staked!

Spoiler: why a spoon, cousin?

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Spoiler: what is with CHARNAME's impulse for organ collection anyway?

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Spoiler: blah blah reverence wonder etc. just let me at the dragon

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[Honest Tiefling]

Lady Gerd has a secret desire to be an Adventure Game protagonist. That's why she picks up random bits of the foes she slays, because Adventure Game logic says that if you can pick it up, it'll be useful later. Use Vampire Heart on Door. Use Vampire Heart on Giant Space Hamster. Use Vampire Heart on Irenicus.

[Lector87]

Lady Gerd has a secret desire to be an Adventure Game protagonist. That's why she picks up random bits of the foes she slays, because Adventure Game logic says that if you can pick it up, it'll be useful later. Use Vampire Heart on Door. Use Vampire Heart on Giant Space Hamster. Use Vampire Heart on Irenicus.

See, but most things she picks up HAVE a use. Namely, they can equipped and used in combat, or sold for sweet, sweet, cash. Or maybe they're keys, or obvious clues of some kind.

The troubling thing is that there is only one kind of item which she consistently picks up that has NO discernible use - namely, organs and bodily fluids. She just seems to, uh, want them.

[Triaxx]

If only someone needs must look through your belongings.

[Lector87]

If only someone needs must look through your belongings.

I imagine going through customs would be an...experience...for everyone involved.

"Anything to declare?"

"Uhhh..." *pulls out two bags of holding, starts with the Beholder eyestalk and goes from there*

[Triaxx]

I was thinking Cespenar, but now I'm thinking of Jeff Dunham and going through airport security.

[Mordokai]

*slaps Lady Gerd... ever so gently*

Wake up sleepyhead. Adventures are a-wating.

[Lector87]

*ssnneeerrrrrk* *snort* *smack smack* ...hey what? Hm?

*sits up, hurriedly brushing off powdered sugar and paczki crumbs*

Right! Yes! Adventure! Onward! Excelsior!

Spoiler: scrag the dragon!

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Spoiler: scrag the wizard!

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Spoiler: bully your ghost!brother!

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Spoiler: scrag the wizard again! IN HELL!

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*huff huff huff*

And with THAT.

Lady Gerd is several steps closer to assuming the THRONE OF BHAAL...should she so choose.

I believe I'll start a new thread for the expansion. "BG2 Throne of Bhaal - Solo Cavalier - Insane Difficulty!" or some such.

Might take a couple weeks break. Too many distractions coming up these days. Got to clear my plate.

Thanks very much to everyone who's read and responded so far! If you have any suggested conditions for the ToB playthrough, now's the time to pitch 'em.