I need some Gnome puns

[Stelio Kontos]

A number of years ago, there was a small tribe of gnomes settled in a northern climate. They had agreed that all members of the tribe would have to vote on major decisions involving the entire group. One day, with a female one of their number far away hunting seals in arctic climates, it came to pass that a major flood befell the tribe's location. While most of the gnomes survived, most of their homes and crops had been utterly destroyed.

"We should travel to the north!" one gnome, who had (as was the custom of the tribe) been given the appellation "Baker" for his task of preparing various breads and pastries. "The rivers there are frozen over and there will be no floods!"

"No, we should travel to the south!" said another gnome, by the name of "Butcher" for equally obvious reasons. "In the desert, there are no rivers to flood!"

So, after much debate, the tribe voted -- and found themselves exactly evenly divided. They simply could not decide! Hours of back and forth swayed nobody. Finally it was decided that someone would have to search out the traveling gnome for their decision. A few gnomes volunteered, but it was decided that a younger gnome, heretofore without an accomplishment of note, would make the journey. "I'll ask her"

And so he traveled, for a number of days, across hills and valleys and frozen tundra. He traveled by mule, then by snowshoe, and finally by dogsled. The arduous travel proved too much for the young gnome, and frail and nearly overcome by the cold, he finally reached the missing member, described in detail the situation, and then expired. The traveling gnome returned, recording the sad tale, and rejoined her tribemates to make a decision.

It was decided that it would be appropriate, in gnomish tradition, to honor the life of the fallen by recreating the final steps of his journey, which eventually saved the tribe by the traveler's prosperous choice of relocation. And so it was that the annual dogsled race to Gnome "I'll Ask Her" was born.

[erasedisknow]

IDK if any of these have been shown yet, but here's a few.
Show Gnome Mercy!
Gnome way, man!
etc.
Basically, just any instance of the word "No" in a common phrase can be replaced with "Gnome" and you have a terrible pun.

[Pex]

Fe gnome ee gnome

Do doo de do do

Fe gnome ee gnome

Do doo dee do

Fe gnome ee gnome

Do doo de do do de do do de do do de do do do doo do

[JAL_1138]

Once the gnomes had many mines, but now they have gnome ore.

Billy was a Gnomish mage
But now he is Gnome ore
The glyph he'd thought was safe dispell'd
Cast Flesh to Stone once more.

[Coventry]

There once was a wealthy man who employed gnomes to carve letters from the alphabet from wood. He got very sick, and his doctors were having a hard time figuring out what was the source of the problem. They tried all of the standard tests, which came up short. They turned to the use of divination, which finally gave the clue that the cause was "ungnome".

Well, the doctors misinterpreted that answer, and lined up all the gnomes worked for the man, so they could be interrogated. After sequencing his G gnomes, they finally figured out that the man had been bitten and was having an immunogoblin reaction to the bite.

I was originally thinking the man would turn out to be allergic to the wood, but I struck out finding a type of tree I could use to make another gnome pun. Ah, well. The goblin pun has to suffice.