Trog's Tavern CLIII

[Rebonack]

Zee beams when the fingers move!

"It worked! I'm going to clear up everything else, okay. And I'll hold onto you. Otherwise you might fall over once you get motor control back," Zee says as she puts an arm around the patron's shoulders.

Then?

She'll then get those voluntary muscles working again! Hopefully the woman will be able to move. Though... it might be a little difficult at first. Thankfully the human mind is pretty good at adapting to unusual situations.

The imp is given a nod. "It tried to steal her body, but I kicked it out."

Also kind of vaporized it.

"But not before it gave her fox ears, a fox tail, stole her liver, stabbed her in the hand with a knife, turned her face into a mirror, and then trapped her soul inside the mirror."

So.

Y'know.

Normal faerie stuff.

[5a Violista]

Yes! The body can move now!

The ranger spends the first while trying to get balanced. Because the sense of balance of herself-in-the-mirror doesn't completely match the body's positioning, it's really hard to stay balanced. She's even curious if she even can sense things from her normal body, or if it's just a lot fainter and so she'll have to concentrate more to not confuse two different of the same senses at the same time. Maybe if she got more used to it, she could depend on the body's natural reflexes but as it is she keeps on overcompensating. "Thanks" she says, even though she's not entirely sure whether or not the barmaid still is looking at the mirror-face, so she's not entirely sure she even was 'heard' but...might as well say it. If things stay this way for long, she's going to have to learn a sign language. Or find some magical talking thing.

The ranger braces her body on one of the chairs, to allow the barmaid to let go of her shoulders. Since that barmaid's already done so much for her so far, she doesn't want to impose and prevent her from doing her job any more than she already is.

...Basically, she's just using the back of chair to practice trying to stay balanced.
It's tough work.
How do people normally learn how to do this? she wonders.

[Deathkeeper]

Sapesh (for that is the imp’s name) looks at Zee and the mirror-woman.
”Um, does she not...need a liver? I’m afraid I don’t know much about vulpine-humanoid biology. Souls and books are my master’s domain, and ours.” he explains. Faeries. Feh. Always so needlessly odd.

[Rebonack]

This is all working...

Mostly well?

About as well as can be imagined, given the situation.

"Normally, I guess?" Zee replies to the question. "It isn't ripped out. It's just... not there. Everything else has been rearranged so that it not being there isn't a problem."

Why?

Because-

-and say it with me here!

Faeries are weird.

"The soul-in-mirror thing might be something your boss can fix? I think she could probably use a hand. Or paw, I guess?" she amends, peering at the imp's limbs. "I'm getting some pretty serious devil vibes from you, though. You sure you guys wouldn't make everything worse?"

[5a Violista]

Success!
The aforementioned lady has managed to balance upright without moving her legs and whole body around like a toddler. Hey, this isn't actually as hard as it was before. As long as she keeps her body-in-the-mirror aligned as close as she can to her body-in-real-life, standing isn't really all that much harder than it was before. Peering out the mirror like it's more of a class face-plate helps a little as well, because then she's seeing everything happen in real-time and doesn't have to worry about looking at decaying objects.

Determined to show that, as a ranger, she's not totally helpless, she plans out the process to sit down on the chair in front of her, and then proceeds to follow through with it.

She tries paying attention to the discussion the barmaid and the imp are having, but because she's looking through the mirror the sounds she hears and the things she sees are not synced up, so trying to follow the conversation is like trying to watch a dubbed movie where the voice actors are always slightly behind the action. Well, it's good news to hear that her body seems to be working fine in spite of the missing liver.

She wants to rest her face in her palms out of mental exhaustion, but she's worried she'll get her mirror-face dirty again.

[Deathkeeper]

The imp sniffs indignantly.
”My digits are quite opposable, thank you very much. And I am a demon. I’m not from one of those filthy Lower Circles. We denizens of Limbo have better things to do than twirl mustaches and corrupt children.
Now, if you want me to play soul surgeon, I need payment. It’s in the rules. I would accept a catered dinner with a drink for me. And my two brothers. Since I doubt I’ll find any books here and paying with souls is so distasteful.” he says, offended at being compared to his mildly more evil cousins but doing nothing to help his image.

[Rebonack]

Zee gives the ranger an encouraging smile.

She's doing a great job!

And taking things pretty well, all points considered.

That's probably because the ranger is an adventurer. There are all SORTS of weird curses someone might be subjected to whilst adventuring. Never know when you might get turned into a tree or whatever.

"Sure, demon," Zee sighs. Why do outsiders have to be so confusing, anyway? Okay, yeah, it's sort of like the difference between the different hosts. But the hosts are founded on something that actually makes sense. Probably doesn't help that the definition of demons, daemons, devils, unclean spirits, and whatever else varies wildly from one universe to another.

Just roll with it, Zee.

"Oh, you take payment in books?" she asks, perking up a bit at that option. "Books I can probably do."

Living information is within her sphere, specifically. But there's a bit of wiggle room. "Does it have to be a codex specifically, or would any type of book be okay?"

[5a Violista]

Oh, yeah, one time Gregson077 the fightingman put on a cursed belt and you won't believe what happened next. Doctors hated him because of that one weird trick!

If the ranger had a book in that pile of loot on the table, she would offer it. Unfortunately, since they raided a dungeon instead of a library, there were very few books and Mephistopheles the wizard and Madisyn the spoony bard took them.

The her-in-the-mirror sighs. Probably in relief: there's a demon who claims to be able to do something, and all he wants in payment is either a book or a dinner. Heck, if she were any good at catering, she'd offer to do it herself. Then again, if she were anywhere near as good at catering as her sister, she wouldn't have become a ranger in the first place so it's unlikely she'd have come into the tavern in the first place. Whether that means she'd have been safe from the mask or practically dead without any barmaid and demon to help her, she doesn't know.

She silently begins trying to come up with ideas on how she's ever going to pay back all the favors she's received so far.

[Deathkeeper]

Sapesh draws himself up. He had not been expecting to get any lore in a place like this.
”Knowledge comes in many forms. We of the Third Circle to not judge its vessel, so long as it is there at all.” he says formally.

[Rebonack]

"Okay, great! Umm, hold on a moment..." Zee mutters as she digs down into her well of power, utilizing the potentiality she had harvested from the perishing fae to bring about the change in the world she's seeking to manifest. She briefly cups her hands together and focuses.

For a moment.

A very, very brief moment, she seems much larger than she appears. The vaguest impression of her true form coiled behind the veil.

Then her hands part, and she's holding a brick.

Like...

An object the size and shape of a normal brick someone would use to build a chimney. Except it's made out of something that looks suspiciously like gold. The brick pulses with celestial radiance, filling the air around it with a heavenly melody. Zee holds the brick out to the imp.

"A bit of context, I guess. I finally got a chance to visit the Golden City a little while ago. You know, the whole 'streets are paved with gold' sort of thing? It isn't really gold, just a composite of the Living Word and the Light of Truth. But! I found out the reason behind it! It's a material with the highest information density physically possible. The whole place is a library. So this-" she waggles the brick a few times. "Is a pretty close material analog to the computronium the city is made of. I included the account of my visit there, edited to make it comprehensible and safe to experience. There's still a bunch of storage space left in it, not sure what if anything you would want to record in there."

She offers a smile along with the 'book'.

"I was going to use the resources for something else, but I figure if I can help erase the trouble a fae made for someone I should take the opportunity. A life is precious."

There's a subtle subtext there.

A life is precious.

Or in other words, if the demon messes with the ranger out of demonic jerkishness, they're going to have a bad time.

[5a Violista]

Oh.

Right.

The barmaid is currently in talks with a demon about the state of the ranger's soul.

That's important enough that she probably ought to pay attention to it.

The ranger-with-a-mirror-for-a-face actually figured out that she can pay attention to the conversation and watch them without turning her real-life body. In the weird mirror world, she can still watch them - but now the sound is synced up with their lip-flaps. Sure, she's only hearing the words shortly after it's said meaning she can't participate in it, but at least the audio and visuals match up now.

...It's also convenient, because now the ranger is imagining all the things she could spy on if this somehow doesn't get fixed. She'd be, like, a super-spy.

[Deathkeeper]

Sapesh scowls at Zee, visibly shrinking back from the radiant object.
”So what you’re telling me is that this is a mostly empty book you are offering me, despite the fact that it looks like it would kill me on contact?” he says. He doesn’t seem happy.

[Rebonack]

Nyeh nyeh neyh, I don't like your book because it might cause my existence to unravel!

Why do demons have to be so picky about everything?

"It's only mostly empty because the amount of storage space it represents is silly," Zee says back. "It has a tremendous amount of information written in it already. The space left is just tremendiouser."

Is that a word?

Zee really doesn't care.

"I'm offering you an account of a place filled with knowledge that is absolutely inaccessible otherwise. You can take it, or I can get you and your friends some snacks."

Everyone likes snacks?

Right?

[CosmicHobbit]

The door opens, and a man walks in. He has long, messy, black hair, sea blue eyes, tanned skin slightly tinged grey, and a peg leg. Oh yeah, and there's a shark that appears to be gnawing on his entire left arm up to the shoulder. An anchor hangs off of his back, and there's small pieces of seaweed tangled in his hair.

He walks up to the bar, sits down, looks over the menu, and immediately looks back up. "Where's the grog?"

[Rebonack]

Zee offers a friend wave to the newcomer!

And...

Looks briefly concerned when she notices the small shark chewing on his arm.

Weird.

Not the weirdest thing, certainly. But still pretty weird.

BUT!

He doesn't look concerned so she quickly decides that she doesn't need to be concerned either.

"Grog?" she asks, puzzled. "Why would we mix perfectly good rum with water?"

That sounds like a great way to waste rum, as far as she's concerned.

"I mean... I could add some water to rum if you want?" she admits, leaving an implied 'but why would you want to?' left unspoken.

[5a Violista]

Speaking of snacks.

This gets the ranger thinking.

How is she supposed to eat?!? How is anyone who has a mirror for a face expected to eat?
Does her body even need food now?
What about her mirror-self, does she need food?
Is all the food here rotten like all the other nonliving objects? The ranger looks around to see all the rotten food and meals. Will she have to eat that?
What if she decides to hunt some kind of animal, are there animals here?
What if she somehow kills an animal's reflection, does the animal die in real life or does the animal just no longer have a reflection? Or does it have a dead reflection?

There's so many important questions.

Luckily, the ranger's panic attack ends as soon as she remembers that, as a ranger, she has a couple of spells that might help long enough for her to figure out if there's any animals. And maybe she could find some food that doesn't rot, or something. And aren't there some magic items that make it so you don't have to eat, anyway? If these negotiations take a long time or don't work out, maybe she ought to find one of those.

[CosmicHobbit]

Beamer, the man, seems not to see Zee's concerned look. The shark eyes her, but not in a hungry way. Instead, it looks at her in the way a curious cat looks at a stranger.

He stares at Zee for a moment, mouth slightly slack, before grinning and snorting a little. "Sorry, I'm a sailor. Old habits die hard. I'll just have the rum, thank you."

[Zefir]

The door opens and a bunch of NPC enter the tavern including a man who is obviously just been caught in the mass, even thought he looks common too. Maybe they did caught him since they thought he is an NPC, too? "Hey" "No" "Excuse me?" the man tries to escape the crowed, but only manages it after the NPC went to their destinated tables. The man let#s out a relieved sight as he goes for the bar.

"Gimme a lon island ice tea." as he waits he obviously speaks to himself or maybe someone who wants to talk a bit with him.
"I got the odd feeling that I'm either out of my timeline or just major confused."

[RabbitHoleLost]

The door closes after the throng of NPCs and then opens again with the sharp jut of a hip against it, causing the hinges to creak with a sharpness that might have been painful to those with sensitive ears, and in walks... just a woman. Long dark brown, straight hair that could not hold a curl with even the interference of magic, freckles speckling along her nose and cheek, bright green eyes.
She looks... awkwardly bashful at the sound she'd accidentally made, and shrugs into the tavern as if to seem apologetic.

Topping barely five foot even helps with the illusion.
Struggling to pop herself up on a stool at the bar illustrates her supposed helplessness even further.

"You might be."
A shift on the barstool brings her to face the barely-not-an-npc-man.
"Misplaced or very confused. Both are likely, I'd think."

[5a Violista]

Completely unrelated to the incident involving a faceless ranger,

A new woman walks into the tavern.

...
Well, 'walks' isn't really accurate, as she doesn't have any legs. Mermaids tend to not have those.
She doesn't crawl, either.
Instead, she majestically rides in on a crocodile.

The crocodile is relatively large, like crocodiles tend to be. It's wearing a specialized saddle designed for such a mermaid to comfortably ride on. The mermaid has dark skin, black eyes with red pupils, green hair in a long braid, a black sleeveless jacket and a red sash. And a bandolier with a starfish on it. Also, translucent-green finlike structures run along the back of her arms.

The crocodile moves towards an empty table. She pulls out one of the chairs, and then struggles to pull herself up to the chair in a seated position. Once she's up, she gestures at the large lizard to stay and not wander off. She looks over the menu, trying to find the raw meat section.

[Zefir]

The door closes after the throng of NPCs and then opens again with the sharp jut of a hip against it, causing the hinges to creak with a sharpness that might have been painful to those with sensitive ears, and in walks... just a woman. Long dark brown, straight hair that could not hold a curl with even the interference of magic, freckles speckling along her nose and cheek, bright green eyes.
She looks... awkwardly bashful at the sound she'd accidentally made, and shrugs into the tavern as if to seem apologetic.

Topping barely five foot even helps with the illusion.
Struggling to pop herself up on a stool at the bar illustrates her supposed helplessness even further.

"You might be."
A shift on the barstool brings her to face the barely-not-an-npc-man.
"Misplaced or very confused. Both are likely, I'd think."

The man looks back at the woman. A bit annoyed by the answer she gave, but he doesn't express it.

"And what gives you the proof for your answer? I don't think we met before"

[RabbitHoleLost]

"Aye, we have not."
A beat, that awkward smile on her lips painfully pasted before she blinks, her mouth forming an 'o' to go along with the sound of her realization.

"Oh! Oh! I'm sorry, I've misrepresented myself and offended you. I assure you, that was not my intention."
A frantic sort of explanation, her soft voice raised in note, her face blushing, painting the pale tan between her freckles with blooming pink in an obvious embarrassment.
She reaches for his hand.
If he gives it to her, she holds it between hers with a fervent look of apology.
If he doesn't, she'll continue to ramble.

"Only, see, you seem confused and it seems to me that the two are really the only options to be found, aren't they?
Either you're misplaced, or you aren't and therefore you are under your own misunderstanding, either by your power or another's."

[Zefir]

The man let's his hand get grabed. He didn't feel any intentions to prevent that but raise an eyebrow at her action. He also gets very confused by the womans explanation and just looks at her for an akward moment.

"You sure we mean the same?" he finally says. "Because I got the feeling that we miss a point in this conversation that won't solve itself if we don't point at it.
I was in another location just a bit ago and I thougth i was going for something there, but I can't really remember what and suddendly I'm here. So I don't really know if I forgot what I did or just didn't do it."

[Deathkeeper]

There comes a flash of light and a rumbling from the broom closet.
”Ah! Suddenly dark! Nirik, can you see?”
There’s the sound of fumbling and the door swings open, revealing a small, teal shrew-dinosaur-person in poorly fitting clothes, and...

[Rebonack]

-and what can only be described as a pushme-pullyou. Some sort of weird giraffish person. The front half being yellow and kind of adorable and the bottom half being terrifyingly sinister looking.

The animated broom in the broom closet doesn't seem very happy about the company. It shakes its fist in silent indignation at the newcomers as they go tumbling out.

"We found a bar," the bottom half, Nirik, hisses.

So they did!

Zee, meanwhile, fetches the rum rather belatedly for the sailor. The mermaid likely won't find any raw meat section on the menu. That's unsanitary. And the fellow at the bar most CERTAINLY got a long island iced tea at some point.

Yay?

Zee leans over the counter to peer at the pair of pokemon sprawled out on the floor.

"Howdy! Welcome to Trog's Tavern. Anything I can get you?"

"Ice cream?" Kirin asks hopefully.

Zee purses her lips, looking thoughtful. "Lemme see what I've got." And then under the counter she goes.

[Deathkeeper]

Moira gives a hasty nod of thanks to Zee.
”See Kirin? Totally normal human. We’re the weird ones.”
Ha. Haha. Hahahahahaha.
”Um, can you tell us where we are, Ma’am?” she asks.
”And do you have a mirror? I just...evolved.” It’s a long, confusing story.

[Rebonack]

"Yes. I am a totally normal human female. You suspect nothing," Zee calls back from under the counter.

She's... uh.

Probably joking.

Right?

Then she pops back up with a half pint container of ice cream in each hand. "Okay, we've got stuff from Miltank's, Living the Dream, and Sundae Service. Depending on whether you want ice cream made by pokemon, humans, or churned out by tiny fat baby angels. They're all pretty good. Unless you're a fiend since I think Sundae Service uses holy water."

Not Zee's sorts of angels, thank goodness.

Kirin seems to be waiting to see what Moira is going to want.

"We've got a mirror right over there," Zee says, gesturing with a bucket of ice cream with a picture of a smiling cow-like creature on the front. "And this is Trog's Tavern, the tavern at the center of all possible realities."

[Deathkeeper]

”Um. Not that last one.” You’re not supposed to use holy water for cooking! At least she thinks you aren’t.
”I guess the Pokémon one? Since that’s a thing that I am apparently.”

And then she shuffles off to investigate the mirror! She does not touch it so she isn’t sent to Foxside.
”Oh no.” she gasps in horror at her reflection, running her claws over her massive ears.
”I’m adorable.”

[Rebonack]

They aren't using it for cooking.

They're using it for making ice cream.

No cooking involved!

But the whole 'don't use holy water for common things' bit is understandable.

"Sure! The stuff Miltank's makes is pretty good," Zee replies as she places the other container of ice cream back in the freezer. "Lessee... Vanilla. Chocolate. Pechaberry...? Hmm... Buncha weird berry flavors. Must be a pokemon thing. Leichi berry, wamel berry, salac berry. I have no idea what any of these taste like."

She knows what chocolate and vanilla taste like, though.

Those are pretty much the ice cream standard.

"You sure are!" Zee calls back from the counter. "Cute as a button. What kind of ice cream do you want?"

"Pechaberry for my brother and I," Kirin replies, watching the whole exchange with bemusement.

[Deathkeeper]

”Uh, Wamel I guess? It sounds funny.” Moira says as she climbs into a bar stool. It’s a little hard since she’s halfling sized now.
”Well, thanks I guess.” You’re supposed to say that when someone says something nice about you, even if it’s a compliment about a very confusing situation. She pulls at her tail with fascination.