Trog's Tavern CLIII

[Slii Arhem]

Spoiler: FISH PUNS

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Caught in the Splash Zone?

Marina catches onto Suzie's designs as the staff glows; she's been under her lady's service long enough to notice when mischief is afoot! As such, she manages to lean back from the deluge of water that wipes the table clean of paperwork, sparing her hair and the duo's drinks... but not quite far enough to spare her dress, causing her to look back down in dismay. She didn't have anything to change into right now, so she was going to have to grin and bear with it. Not that it was the worst thing in the world, Marina didn't mind being wet, but it was still annoying.

The fishmaid notes the sly glance and responds with a small little smile, trying to ignore this discomfort to support her lady. That's a minion's job, after all... right?

And it's also her job to help Suzie in any manner whatsoever, which is why she listens closely to Alex's words. "...That does sound wise, if I may suggest, milady. Though forging a signature sounds... bad?" She wasn't sure about such matters, but forgery was a crime for a reason, right?

[Wet Minion Uniform Contest]

All this talk of unions and contracts and signatures, it's making Suzie's head spin! She sighs and holds her head in her tentacles, trying to focus on what Alex is actually saying to make sense of it all. It's not easy for her. This is not her sort of villainy at all! She's not meant to have to think about things!

But these are different times. She doesn't have the luxury of being able to snack on passing ships any more. She has to actually think about things, make more decisions herself, not just leave everything to others to resolve. So...she listens.

"Hmmph. I don't understand all this union stuff, but if you and Minion M both think it's a good idea, I should listen to my minions. Besides, while we're still getting things back together, any additional income for my minions is nice." She got that bit, at least. But as she says that, Suzie downs her drink and reaches over to poke Alex with a tentacle. "But let me make something clear. Marina is my minion. And you will be too. You don't belong to some "union" or anything, you're my servants and mine alone." Maybe she doesn't entirely get it yet. "Minion M! Finish your drink! Minion A! Lead the way!" Seems like the time for talking is over. Now is the time for action!

Alex actually brightens a bit at the possessive, demanding nature of his new super-villainess. This is more like what he's accustomed to!

Oh no wait, he's still as bland as ever. That must have been some dust in his eye making it look like he had a facial expression there for a moment.

"Of course my Liege of the Depthless Depths. I'll put your drinks on my tab and then direct you without in fact giving you any directions. And you have my solemn oath not to betray you, with the understanding of how little that means from someone who is actively betraying their current boss. But you could probably easily destroy me, so I'm incentivized to remain your loyal minion forever." Or until the next person threatens him with immediate gruesome death and he can't get out of it by lying to them.

And with that, Alex will go to try and pay for the drinks with credit whether they've already been paid for or not, and head leisurely out the door back to his office, to get that spare copy of all of his minioning notes he left in his desk and for no other reason.

[Recaiden]

"Yes," Zee confirms. "But he's not allowed in the tavern for a variety of reasons. Disturbing patrons with random encounters the chief among them."

And being an awful faerie.

But that's more of a personal dislike and not a valid reason to expel someone.

Zee furrows her brow a bit at the complaint, "I'll be honest, I wasn't sure if emptying the jar into a bowl would work."

Is imagination a fluid?

She has no idea.

Imagination may be more like a bag of cereal.
But if a customer asks for it in a bowl, the first thing you should expect is that it can fit in a bowl.
(It's really more like a pudding)

Then you can think stranger things, like that this is a prank, or that they're confused about bowls.

"I had heard Trog's was famed for its Random Encounters. Have things changed?"

The sun sounds a bit distracted. Probably daydreaming.

[Arkhosia]

Feeling Pun Defishient?

While Alex might remain impassive, the same cannot be said for Marina. A warmer hue emerges in her expression as the krakengirl states her claim, truly honored to hear that the woman she serves values her service. Never mind that she also said she would feel the same way about Alex in the same breath, or that she spoke about her in a strictly possessive manner. She didn't want to contemplate those persistent worries of a lack of recognition or value, after all.

"At once, milady!" the drenched maid answers, snapping to attention and moving to frantically chug down her drink. She regrets her decision as the effects start to hit her, slumping down a little to recover as she sets her mug down before standing up with a slight wobble as she braces herself against the table. "Lead... lead the way, milady."

[Gnrlshrimp]

[Eel be alright, but this all seems a bit fishy...]

"Oh ho ho ho! Yes! Lead the way, new minion. Victory awai-" Several eyes re-focus on the tipsy fishmaid, and a tentacle swiftly extends to wrap around Marina's waist to steady her. "Minion!" She hisses, lowering her voice as she tries to drag Marina along after Alex. "Don't embarrass me like this! Ugh, if this is what one drink does to you, I'm never getting you another one!"

She pauses, another tentacle thoughtfully tapping her staff.

"Well, not in public anyway. I guess if it was just you, me and a bottle of wine- Gah! Not that I'd ever be willing to waste something of such high quality on a mere minion, I-" Suzie huffs, grumbles, strides after Alex, lets out an exasperated sigh of frustration at the familiar RRRRRIIIIP sound of another tear in her stockings, practically dragging her poor fishmaid out the tavern door in pursuit of "Minon A".

[bc56]

Achuak scampers around the tavern. He looks under a few tables (although not the one Zoster is underneath) before spotting something silvery poking out from under a hat. He creeps up on the sleeping patron (much less sneakily than he imagines), then reaches out to grab Kara's tail. "I found you!"

[Chaotic Bob]

And 'lo, Kara's tail was grabbed!

There's a quiet giggle from under the hat, as she uncurls herself and rises up to shed her clearly excellent hiding space.
"Aw, good job. Maybe I should have hidden under the towels instead, huh?"
After taking a moment to carefully arrange the hat back where she originally found it, Karaglen glances around and smiles at Achuak.
"I think the others hid better than I did."

[Earl of Purple]

Zoster remains under his table, though he's getting a little impatient. He'll move around, still clinging to the bottom of the table, and try to keep track of where Achuak is. Of course, he can't see the little lizardfolk, so he could be wrong, and following the noises of totally the wrong person.

In fact, that's entirely likely, since he doesn't know where Kara or Navvy are hiding.

[Sniccups]

"Rat, you can pick up your own chips."
"Squeak!"
"You're already on the table, and no one cares."
"Grr..."



"Ah... maybe? I don't know what the technical definition of a mercenary is. I think we're more of a, ah... collection agency-stroke-mystical studies institute." Seeing that Algernon survived his last dose, she tries the next one on herself with a series of timid sips. "I wonder what the chances of running into everyone on the list in order would normally be. Does the Nexus have anything like a census? For, ah... doors...?"

She decides to reach for the doorknob before the inherent silliness of that question can sink in.

The door opens, and the smell of saltwater fills the room.

"...I guess it really does go anywhere" says J, looking out at the ship that the door has opened onto.

J strides out onto the deck of the ship, which appears to be a large merchant vessel of some sort.
"Hello..." She looks at the list. "Does anyone here know a, um, Francis Burgess?"

[CosmicHobbit]

An elderly woman in a black cloak and a bag full of jangling coins stumbles in. She's short, only 4'9", and has wispy white hair. She stares around the tavern, marveling at the wide array of creatures, before shaking her head and walking up to the bar. She sits on a stool and starts perusing the menu, eyes wide at how many drinks there are.

[Hattish Thing]

As the door leading into Trog's opens wide once more, a warm wind blows throughout the tavern, causing sand and dust to coat the surrounding entryway in a dry, reddish grime. All is silent for several seconds before a sudden gust of sand and grime washes over the entrance, dirt and sand wafting up into the air as if thrown about, forming the outline of a vaguely humanoid shape.

The shape swiftly coalesces into a figure, clad all in a dark and tattered duster. The skeletal figure is practically drowned in black fabric, with a tall, wide-brimmed hat set atop his head. A white collar can be seen wrapped around the figure's neck, partially hidden by a scarf. A gunbelt has been tied around his waist, and a bandoleer rises up to a battered pauldron.

With gloved hands, the skeletal figure approaches the front of the bar, several gold teeth rattling as the undead instinctively ground his teeth, a nervous tic of a sort. A cigarette lolls between his teeth.

--

Behind him, one can assume Mirai follows.

[Purple Eagle]

Mirai returns to Trog's, back to being a male this time! He takes in a deep breath, and lets it out, looking pleased indeed. "It's good to be back here, yes it is." He says, stepping in behind The Pale Stranger and making his way straight to the bar, that is after locking and stealthing his vehicle. Taking a seat, he pats a free one beside him, then calls a server, who then steps up and takes his order for really strong liquer. "What'll you have, Pales?

[Earl of Purple]

Somebody else enters! They're an androgynous mostly-human individual. They're young; twenty or so, possibly a bit younger, with grey eyes and short black hair. A pair of black wings with grey eyes in the middle joint grow from their back, and they are missing their left pinkie finger. They're wearing a red chequered shirt and a pair of jeans, with heavy hiking boots on their feet. A satchel is slung over their shoulder, brown leather with a stylised crow branded into the opening flap.

[Purple Eagle]

When the person arrives, Mirai's speaking with the bartender. He pulls out a bunch of flowers, much to the bartender's joy. He'd only expected one, it seems. After being paid, Mirai's given drinks on the house for the rest of the night as a bonus. Another job well done.

Turning around he spots them and waves. "Hallo there, sir/madam, fancy a pint?" He offers, waving the bartender forward, who produces another glass for Jack. "I'm back to the Nexus after a bit of an absence, so I'm in rather high spirits."

[Earl of Purple]

"Yes, I'll have a pint. What you drinking?" They grin, but there's an eyebrow raised at 'sir/madam'. Jack's not willing to give any clues, though some may slip through anyway.

"I'm Jack, I've never left. What's it like, off-world? Bit boring, I bet, without all the different types of people to look at and ogle." Jack grins, giving Mirai a once-over himself.

[Rebonack]

Whoop this is what happens when you look away from Trog's for too long.

Let's go in order here.

The whispy haired woman was waited on first with a kind, "Just let me know when you've decided on what you want, okay?"

Probably worth describing Zee. She is! A fairly unremarkable looking human female. Middlish tan complexion, slightly wavy black hair tied up in a pony tail, steel blue eyes. She's nearly always smiling, moving and speaking with a degree of effervescent cheer that doesn't quite reach the threshold of grating. She's wearing an olive colored long sleeved sweater and a set of sturdy jeans with a Trog's Tavern apron draped over them. She has no crazy gadgets. No weird anatomical features. No magical swag. Though a pair of plain looking wooden tonfa are set in leather holsters at her hips. Probably because the barmaid has to double as the bouncer these days.

Given how crazy some of the beings who regularly show up here are, one might be lead to wonder how effective a sturdy stick wielded by an unremarkable human would be in expelling them.

And then?

DUST!

Dust and a skeleton.

Zee purses her lips at the display, followed by coughing a bit and waving a hand to disperse the cloud. She makes a gesture at the mess whilst gazing at Cosmo.

A stare-down follows.

Eyes are narrowed. Glowers are cast across the room. But, finally, the gnome grabs the broom and gets to work.

Cosmos is given one last glare before a cheerful smile is turned to the skeleton. "Howdy! Welcome to Trog's Tavern! What can I do for you today?"

But then flowers!

Zee blinks at the sudden and unexpected bouquet. "Oh, ah, thank you?"

The flowers are taken and- hmm... She rummages around under the counter. "Didn't I have a vase down here? Could have sworn someone paid with one last week... AH!" Then she comes back up with a... uuhh...

A tall creepy looking iron jar with a floral mouth and four laughing skulls adorning each side.

That probable counts as a vase? Right?

Zee fills it up with water and sticks the flowers inside. A smouldering red glow fills the eyes of the skulls, followed by rattling laughter. The flowers immediately wilt and die in an almost cartoonishly rapid fashion, slapping against the counter with a wet thump. Zee purses her lips at the display. "Maybe get an actual vase at Market Street..."

With a sigh, the creepy vase (and dead flowers) are shoved onto a shelf behind the counter.

"Trog's has the policy of charging whatever people are willing to give for service," she explains to Mirai. "The flowers can count as payment if you like?"

A second glass is procured for Jack! The sight granted by the person's extra set of wings will discern that the unassuming barmaid is significantly larger than she looks.

[Purple Eagle]

"A pint of bitters, the strong stuff. Unless you have an augmented liver like mine that converts excess booze into energy, I'd recommend you get something weaker. Dunn. Mirai Dunn. I'm originally from off-world, a lot of things I thought to be fictional bollocks turns out to be true here. Might be boring, but it's home." Mirai grins his trademark grin, then sips his mug.

"Jack, eh? 10 gold pieces say your full name is a pun on a bird. My sister would love your wings, she's a huuuuge aviphile." He sounds quite teasing, but it's all light-hearted. He looks like he always does, only this time he's wearing an African-print kimono on top of a grey singlet, trousers, and sandals. The ninja suit he came in is disappeared, broken down into its nanite components and stored in a bone implant. His amber-on-black eyes appear to be glowing, though it's both a trick of the light and a result of his happy mood. From his demeanour, he's the friendly and outgoing sort, and he wastes no time trying to befriend Jack.

((Heh, like Elan, if he was smarter :P))

"In a sense, it feels newer. For the most part, last time I was a girl. I got hit with a 'temporary' ray on getting here. Air quotes around temporary because it lasted for almost 2 years, which is about 2 years longer than I'd suspected. It's all the same, but somehow different, y'know?"

[CosmicHobbit]

The whispy haired woman was waited on first with a kind, "Just let me know when you've decided on what you want, okay?"

Probably worth describing Zee. She is! A fairly unremarkable looking human female. Middlish tan complexion, slightly wavy black hair tied up in a pony tail, steel blue eyes. She's nearly always smiling, moving and speaking with a degree of effervescent cheer that doesn't quite reach the threshold of grating. She's wearing an olive colored long sleeved sweater and a set of sturdy jeans with a Trog's Tavern apron draped over them. She has no crazy gadgets. No weird anatomical features. No magical swag. Though a pair of plain looking wooden tonfa are set in leather holsters at her hips. Probably because the barmaid has to double as the bouncer these days.

Given how crazy some of the beings who regularly show up here are, one might be lead to wonder how effective a sturdy stick wielded by an unremarkable human would be in expelling them.

The woman shakes her head. "How are you even supposed to choose? I've never seen such a wide array of drinks!" The woman's voice is hoarse, and a little lower pitched than one would expect.

[Earl of Purple]

"Would you change your bet if I told you I got the wings last year, and my parents haven't seen them yet?" Jack smiles. "I don't have an augmented liver, so I'll have... Hmm. Ginger beer, please." Jack doesn't realise it's not alcoholic, though there are alcoholic versions out there. "I like my wings, too. The eyes in them are very useful." But I can't really remember if they see anything Jack can't see with their human/jackdaw eyes, unfortunately. I need to start keeping notes again. Either way, Zee gets a wing-eye pointed in her direction, since Jack's curious about the bartender. And the abilities of the new limbs.

"Are things really that different for girls as for boys? I've never really tried living as the other gender." No, Jack, you're just happy to straddle the line of androgyny and correct people if it comes up. You're comfortable in your skins, and don't generally care for what people take you as.

[Rebonack]

Zee fetches a ginger beer for Jack. "There you go! Let me know if you two need anything else, okay? Love the wings by the way. There must be quite the story behind them."

Then she turns her attention to the other gal at the counter.

"Well, that depends! What kind of taste do you like? Or maybe you're just looking for something to knock your socks off? Maybe a unique experience?"

The barmaid is fishing here. She can make recommendations, but she needs somewhere to start.

[Purple Eagle]

"Would you change your bet if I told you I got the wings last year, and my parents haven't seen them yet?" Jack smiles. "I don't have an augmented liver, so I'll have... Hmm. Ginger beer, please." Jack doesn't realise it's not alcoholic, though there are alcoholic versions out there. "I like my wings, too. The eyes in them are very useful." But I can't really remember if they see anything Jack can't see with their human/jackdaw eyes, unfortunately. I need to start keeping notes again. Either way, Zee gets a wing-eye pointed in her direction, since Jack's curious about the bartender. And the abilities of the new limbs.

"Are things really that different for girls as for boys? I've never really tried living as the other gender." No, Jack, you're just happy to straddle the line of androgyny and correct people if it comes up. You're comfortable in your skins, and don't generally care for what people take you as.

"Sorry, I couldn't resist. You have black wings and your name is Jack. I was thinking it'd be funny if... nah, pay me no mind, I'm just being silly." And Mirai does put the possibility out of his mind, given the new info. He has a girlfriend called Zither who hasn't expressed an interest in music yet, after all.

"Ginger beer? How about something proper like a lager or something?" He says, referring to her choice of drink. When she asks for gender differences, though, he taps his chin for a bit. "Hmm... I don't have to worry about large boobs or monthly periods, for starters! On the other hand, I can walk around barechested without fear. Still ripped and handsome, but that has a different effect than seeing boobs hanging about, y'know?" He explains.

He waves to Zee but focuses on the other bartender, the NPC that sent him on a quest. Seems he's clocking out for the night.

[Earl of Purple]

"It's not alcoholic? But it's called beer. And it's an odd story, about the wings. Not sure about good." Jack frowns and takes a mouthful of the fizzy liquid. "Very nice though. Besides, I'm planning on flying home. At least, part of the way. Humans, when drunk, can't walk in a straight line. I don't want to find out what flying when drunk is like." Which is a pretty valid thought, really. "If it helps much at all, despite the wings being a new thing, my surname is Door. So you'd have won your bet regardless."

Jack thinks a moment. "That seems a bit sexist, that you can walk around without a shirt whereas a woman couldn't. But then, maybe that's just me. It doesn't matter what kind of chest it is, they generally affect me the same."

[Rebonack]

Zee is, in fact, the only bartender at Trog's (currently). Nina, Paige, and Cosmo are servers. Waiters? Something like that.

Their job is to bring things to people after said things have been prepared!

Especially if said things require going into the kitchen.

None of them want to go into the kitchen.

That place is scary.

Regardless!

With no one else immediately clamoring for new drinks at the moment, Zee begins working on a fresh batch of brownies for the day.

A bar that has brownies like most have peanuts?

No wonder they get so much traffic.

[Purple Eagle]

Mirai smiles brightly, his teeth seeming to sparkle. "I knew it!" He exclaims on being proven right. There'd still have been some small thought until he learned her surname. Jack Door!

When she replies to his differences, though, he simply smiles and sips out of his drink. "Yes, but it's the way it is. I prefer females, so of course I was a lesbian as a girl. More differences... clothes shopping, toiletries shopping, having to learn to apply makeup, then re-learn to shave my face. The magic was thorough in both transformations. Emotions, hormonal effects, seeing the world through a slightly different lens. Besides, walking around without trousers would be troublesome for anyone, so there's still that." He laughs infectiously.

"So, you're a bird-person?"

[Earl of Purple]

"Are bird people the only people who have bird-pun names?" Jack raises an eyebrow at that. "You prefer girls? Not exclusively?" Jack smiles and takes a swig of their ginger beer. "And why'd you bother learning how to put make-up on? Do women need make-up?" Jack, should be noted, isn't wearing any. Which doesn't say much about their possible gender, given the discussion.

[CosmicHobbit]

Then she turns her attention to the other gal at the counter.

"Well, that depends! What kind of taste do you like? Or maybe you're just looking for something to knock your socks off? Maybe a unique experience?"

The barmaid is fishing here. She can make recommendations, but she needs somewhere to start.

The old lady runs a hand through her hair. "You know what? I'll have any kind of tea you have, plus the Hero Sandwich. That sounds like something to try my first day here." She has apparently gotten over her surprise and chosen whatever seems most familiar as well as something extremely unfamiliar.

[Rebonack]

"Sure thing!" Zee replies brightly. "I'll put a pot of oni tea on for you."

And then she begins doing just that. No real flare involved. Just warming up the water and applying tea leaves. The only tricky part is letting it steep for the right amount of time.

Then?

To the sandwich!

"What do you want on your hero? I'm pleased to say we've finally got our deli restocked-"

No thanks to those awful pod people who were putting flesh eating DOOM WORMS in meat around Inside.

"-and our mini fridge is still connected to the quasi elemental plane of cheese. So... um... when it comes to cheese selection we have all of them."

Can never go wrong with too much cheese.

"And the bread is freshly baked! None of that days old store bought stuff," she adds, giving Cosmo a withering glare.

[Purple Eagle]

"Are bird people the only people who have bird-pun names?" Jack raises an eyebrow at that. "You prefer girls? Not exclusively?" Jack smiles and takes a swig of their ginger beer. "And why'd you bother learning how to put make-up on? Do women need make-up?" Jack, should be noted, isn't wearing any. Which doesn't say much about their possible gender, given the discussion.

"You mentioned flying home and used the word 'humans' like you weren't one. In my planet we're called numans, yeah? But even I know I'm essentially human." Mirai retorts, grinning at her and swigging his beer. "Touche. Mostly exclusively, to be honest." He doesn't say more, though.

"Well, Jack, male or female I pride myself in looking nice. Besides, in my line of work, looking good can be an asset. As a guy, I trim everything, clean, use deodorant. As a girl, you could add 'wear makeup' to that. You have something against makeup?" He asks, reading her reaction.

[CosmicHobbit]

The woman sits there for a moment, then says, "Pork, wheat, and surprise me on the cheese." The old woman nods as if approving of her own choices.

[Earl of Purple]

"I have wings now, see them? They're my most obvious feature. Of course I can fly." It's what started the conversation in the first place, those wings. "I'm not human, though. I look human right now, but humans generally can't do this." Jack holds their arm up and feathers sprout along it as the joints shift to make it more like a bird's wing, so Jack briefly has three of those. This one doesn't have an eye in the middle, however.

"You pride yourself on looking good, you say. Why, when female, does that extend to makeup that doesn't apply when you're male? I assume you cleaned, trimmed and used deodorant as a girl. I have nothing against makeup, I have things against people stopping other people from doing what they please based on appearance or gender. I'm comfortable as you see me, without makeup, trimming or a particularly wide wardrobe. Sometimes I have to correct people who get which gender I am wrong. I'm happy with that, too. It's fun, and I prefer clothes that are comfortable and practical over ones that look good. And because I shapeshift, I need expensive magic clothes, and I'd rather get ones that won't go out of fashion."

I will point out here that I have not been using gender pronouns for Jack in this scene, and the description stated they were 'androgynous'. Jack is female, but that's not particularly obvious.

[Rebonack]

Zee gives a nod. "Alright, coming up!"

One of the long loafs of wheat bread is cut along the edge. No pre-sliced bread here! Or at least not since Zee got back. She wouldn't be one to stand for that sort of nonsense. Next comes ham (both black forest style and honeyed) followed by a quickly diced head of lettuce and tomatoes. Mustard, mayonnaise, a hint of sweet dill, and a splash of olive oil round it out.

And the cheese?

Well.

Zee was rather furtive about it's addition.

Looks like the gal is going to have to take a bite out of the sandwich to find out what the surprise is?

The hero is set before her on a plain little plate, along with the steaming cup of tea.

"There you go! Enjoy."