Bartmanhomer's Ultimate Random Banter Thread #219

[Knaight]

Nope. Sugar is an amazingly good preservative.

Right up until it gets wet, at which point it is primo bacteria food.

[Teddy]

In unrelated news, I am incredibly bad at comforting people.

A tip for becomming a consoler: In almost all cases, the best thing to say is nothing. Just stay with the person and show that you listen to them.

Right up until it gets wet, at which point it is primo bacteria food.

It's not quite that simple. Jam is wet, and the sugar still preserves it.

[Peelee]

A tip for becomming a consoler: In almost all cases, the best thing to say is nothing.

If you had just stopped there, I would have been the world's greatest consoler.

[Rockphed]

It's not quite that simple. Jam is wet, and the sugar still preserves it.

Jam is also typically canned, which further preserves it. Honey, on the other hand, is pretty much just sugar and water and has an indefinite shelf life.

[Peelee]

Jam is also typically canned, which further preserves it. Honey, on the other hand, is pretty much just sugar and water and has an indefinite shelf life.

Meanwhile, salt doesn't even need the water; it preserves itself just fine all alone

[enderlord99]

Meanwhile, salt doesn't even need the water; it preserves itself just fine all alone

So does sugar, usually. Not as well, but well enough.

[factotum]

Jam is also typically canned, which further preserves it.

It is? That must be a US thing, then, because over here jam usually comes in jars just like honey does. Or are we referring to different things when we use the word "jam"?

[Anonymouswizard]

I'm fairly certain that my life is a sitcom written by an incompetent. I keep mentally going back and forth on whether to talk to people.

In more bantery news, I've decided to start writing stories again. So I opened up all my old drafts and yeah, I think I'm going to start something new and slightly less generic.

Also, jam is the stuff you spread on your toast that Americans mistakenly calll Jelly. I have no idea what cans have to do with it, because I'm agreeing that it comes in jars.

[Peelee]

Also, jam is the stuff you spread on your toast that Americans mistakenly calll Jelly. I have no idea what cans have to do with it, because I'm agreeing that it comes in jars.

Jelly, jam and preserves are all fruit mixed with sugar and pectin. In jelly, the fruit comes in the form of fruit juice. In jam, the fruit comes in the form of fruit pulp or crushed fruit. In preserves, the fruit comes in the form of chunks in a syrup.

What now, Brits?

[Bartmanhomer]

I'm fairly certain that my life is a sitcom written by an incompetent. I keep mentally going back and forth on whether to talk to people.

In more bantery news, I've decided to start writing stories again. So I opened up all my old drafts and yeah, I think I'm going to start something new and slightly less generic.

Also, jam is the stuff you spread on your toast that Americans mistakenly calll Jelly. I have no idea what cans have to do with it, because I'm agreeing that it comes in jars.

I'm write stories too. But my writing skills and grammar are horrible.

[Peelee]

I'm write stories too. But my writing skills and grammar are horrible.

Psh. Don't you worry about any of that, that's what editors are for.

[Qwertystop]

It is? That must be a US thing, then, because over here jam usually comes in jars just like honey does. Or are we referring to different things when we use the word "jam"?

I'm fairly certain that my life is a sitcom written by an incompetent. I keep mentally going back and forth on whether to talk to people.

In more bantery news, I've decided to start writing stories again. So I opened up all my old drafts and yeah, I think I'm going to start something new and slightly less generic.

Also, jam is the stuff you spread on your toast that Americans mistakenly calll Jelly. I have no idea what cans have to do with it, because I'm agreeing that it comes in jars.

"Canning" refers to putting preserved foods in sealed sterile containers, even if those containers are glass jars. I'm not sure why.

[enderlord99]

Jelly, jam and preserves are all fruit mixed with sugar and pectin. In jelly, the fruit comes in the form of fruit juice. In jam, the fruit comes in the form of fruit pulp or crushed fruit. In preserves, the fruit comes in the form of chunks in a syrup.

This.

"Canning" refers to putting preserved foods in sealed sterile containers, even if those containers are glass jars.

Also this.

[Anonymouswizard]

I'm write stories too. But my writing skills and grammar are horrible.

It just takes time to get better. I have decent writing skills (my ex claimed they were good, but I've fallen out with her), but struggle with the story aspect. Got most of my grammar down, and I'm good at vocabulary and structure.


Just watching an American house flipping show, and the hosts remarked 'this house is a hundred years old, that's ancient'. Made me giggle, as I've pretty much lived in 100+ year old houses all my life, although not quite old enough to be listed (but my parents now own a listed property), with the exception being when I was at uni.

A show that I would watch is getting a bunch of American house flippers over to the UK to do up a run down listed property (they do exist). There doesn't seem to be a concept of a listed building over there in any way like there is here, and it would be an interesting look at the differences between English and American house culture.

Although they'd probably make it open concept, and that would make it a much harder sell. We seem to like our seperated rooms.

[Peelee]

Just watching an American house flipping show, and the hosts remarked 'this house is a hundred years old, that's ancient'. Made me giggle

I feel the same way when I hear British stories and they're all, "I'm not going to go all the way to Store, it's fifteen miles away!"

[enderlord99]

I feel the same way when I hear British stories and they're all, "I'm not going to go all the way to Store, it's fifteen miles away!"

Hey, that's almost the length of a small city.

[Anonymouswizard]

I feel the same way when I hear British stories and they're all, "I'm not going to go all the way to Store, it's fifteen miles away!"

Hey, if I have to get into the car to get there, it's a long way away. Especially as I don't even drive. Can only do such a legendary journey if there's a train going.

[Bartmanhomer]

It just takes time to get better. I have decent writing skills (my ex claimed they were good, but I've fallen out with her), but struggle with the story aspect. Got most of my grammar down, and I'm good at vocabulary and structure.


Just watching an American house flipping show, and the hosts remarked 'this house is a hundred years old, that's ancient'. Made me giggle, as I've pretty much lived in 100+ year old houses all my life, although not quite old enough to be listed (but my parents now own a listed property), with the exception being when I was at uni.

A show that I would watch is getting a bunch of American house flippers over to the UK to do up a run down listed property (they do exist). There doesn't seem to be a concept of a listed building over there in any way like there is here, and it would be an interesting look at the differences between English and American house culture.

Although they'd probably make it open concept, and that would make it a much harder sell. We seem to like our seperated rooms.

What type of stories are you writing anyway? I wrote one Pathfinder story which happen to be a comedy. And my recent Pathfinder story that I'm writing happen to be an adventure. I also wrote other stories as well.

[Anonymouswizard]

What type of stories are you writing anyway? I wrote one Pathfinder story which happen to be a comedy. And my recent Pathfinder story that I'm writing happen to be an adventure. I also wrote other stories as well.

I tend to write Space Opera or Cyberpunk (generally of the post- variety these days), with a little bit of High Fantasy (one of my favourite ideas I've had is to do a martial arts story in a pseudo-medieval setting, complete with wizened masters and academies), and a little bit of an attempt at a pro-science global warming themed story I liked but couldn't work out the characters for.

My SO settings tend to be relatively similar, using either FTL travel or reactionless thrusters* but not both (I've got a rough outline of one that uses both, but it spans thousands of years before FTL is developed in-universe). The current story I'm trying to write is a Space Opera, and FTL drives in it have the weird property of only working at Lagrange points (which is acknowledged in-universe to have been a pain to work out).

* stories in these ones tend to be confined to a single system, for obvious reasons.

[Bartmanhomer]

I tend to write Space Opera or Cyberpunk (generally of the post- variety these days), with a little bit of High Fantasy (one of my favourite ideas I've had is to do a martial arts story in a pseudo-medieval setting, complete with wizened masters and academies), and a little bit of an attempt at a pro-science global warming themed story I liked but couldn't work out the characters for.

My SO settings tend to be relatively similar, using either FTL travel or reactionless thrusters* but not both (I've got a rough outline of one that uses both, but it spans thousands of years before FTL is developed in-universe). The current story I'm trying to write is a Space Opera, and FTL drives in it have the weird property of only working at Lagrange points (which is acknowledged in-universe to have been a pain to work out).

* stories in these ones tend to be confined to a single system, for obvious reasons.

I would like to read one of your stories someday.

[Rockphed]

It is? That must be a US thing, then, because over here jam usually comes in jars just like honey does. Or are we referring to different things when we use the word "jam"?

As someone else noted, "to can" is a process of sealing something in a sterile environment to prevent it from going bad. Most home canning is actually sealing things in jars.

I feel the same way when I hear British stories and they're all, "I'm not going to go all the way to Store, it's fifteen miles away!"

To be fair, I don't think I have ever lived more than 3 miles from a grocery store I actually liked.

Just watching an American house flipping show, and the hosts remarked 'this house is a hundred years old, that's ancient'. Made me giggle, as I've pretty much lived in 100+ year old houses all my life, although not quite old enough to be listed (but my parents now own a listed property), with the exception being when I was at uni.

A show that I would watch is getting a bunch of American house flippers over to the UK to do up a run down listed property (they do exist). There doesn't seem to be a concept of a listed building over there in any way like there is here, and it would be an interesting look at the differences between English and American house culture.

Although they'd probably make it open concept, and that would make it a much harder sell. We seem to like our seperated rooms.

There are occasionally house flipping or improvement shows that deal with historical properties (which some historical society has somehow managed to get their claws in to). Typically those have requirements about facade and footprint more than interior space. Oh, and most flipper shows annoy me to no end. About the only one I can stand is Rehab Addict, and she is mostly trying to bring the character out in old-ish homes.

[enderlord99]

The first thing I said after waking up from my most recent time being under anesthesia was "you can put it in now" referring to the IV they had just taken out. They had to specifically tell me it was over.

[factotum]

I feel the same way when I hear British stories and they're all, "I'm not going to go all the way to Store, it's fifteen miles away!"

It's the old saying, isn't it? In Europe, a hundred miles is a long way. In America, a hundred years is a long time.

[Peelee]

It's the old saying, isn't it? In Europe, a hundred miles is a long way. In America, a hundred years is a long time.

Well, it's an old saying for us.

[Insane Jeenyus]

I come bringing spoilered cat pictures!

Spoiler

Show

Oops, guess it doesn't show up as an image. Here's the linky:
https://www.facebook.com/ICanHasChee...520400/?type=3

"All your cheeze burgers iz minz!"

The first thing I said after waking up from my most recent time being under anesthesia was "you can put it in now" referring to the IV they had just taken out. They had to specifically tell me it was over.

in 2013 I had my abdomen put back together - long story, I might tell it someday - and after 10 hours of surgery - like I said : loooong story - the first sound out of my mouth were the delicate utterances of dry heaves.

as to the canning thing, I thought Mason jars were supposed to hold moonshine, AKA corn squeezins and white lightning. funny thing about that stuff, people drink it, but it is also used as aircraft fuel. Hmm.

[Anonymouswizard]

I would like to read one of your stories someday.

Maybe once I've got something beside a sorta-okay short story.

It's the old saying, isn't it? In Europe, a hundred miles is a long way. In America, a hundred years is a long time.

What do you mean? That saying's only been around 123 years, it hasn't even hit puberty yet!

[Insane Jeenyus]

Maybe once I've got something beside a sorta-okay short story.



What do you mean? That saying's only been around 123 years, it hasn't even hit puberty yet!

123 years?!?!?!? it should have been retired ages ago ! ! ! ! !

[Kyrell1978]

"Canning" refers to putting preserved foods in sealed sterile containers, even if those containers are glass jars. I'm not sure why.

Because "can" was originally just short for canister.

[enderlord99]

Does anyone else know that kids' song about a goober pea committing suicide via locomotive?

[Florian]

Kinda weird:

Last Tuesday, I way bodily assaulted.

That's what I can remember before I ran away from the scene.

Today, I got to talk with a buddy who was there when it all happened, and he got all emotional and even hugged me, which is very untypical for him.

Seems I'm as tough as lucky: That Nazi A-hole thought I was an easy victim and wanted to knock me out, something I managed to outlast, grab my stuff and run away.

Today, I heard that the young Turk I was talking with at that time tried to defend me and got more beat up than me before the rest of the crew dared to intervene before said a-hole pulled a weapon and tried to kill the young Turk (This being Germany, we talk about smashing a bottle of beer and going for the throat. Pretty personal and bloody, so the reaction is different)

So, normally, work is done, you commute how, grab a bottle or can and drink and talk with your buddies, before you head home, right? Now today was a bit weird and different, because they looked at me and asked me "you're well and alive?".