Having A Depression Sort Of Day

[JNAProductions]

So, this thread is mostly just to vent a little and see if anyone can offer some advice.

I've been on meds for depression for years now, and they generally work pretty well. But today... I dunno. I'm feeling kinda okay, but I had school this morning and I just... Didn't go. I couldn't bring myself to go. I've already missed a few days, so it's not good for my grades, and I like most of my classes! I'm just having a bad day, I guess, but it sucks, because I wish I was able to push through the bad days.

Does anyone have ideas for what to do on days like this? The classes are already over, so no helping today, but I want to avoid it in the future.

(And I did think about going to my college's disability office, when I get the chance, so that way I can try to get official documentation on my depression and it hopefully won't impact my grades any further.)

[zlefin]

I don't have any great knowledge, but here's acouple of ideas:

get out and walk/run/physical activity. that's supposed to help with symptoms some.
watch some of your favorite comedies.


I agree you should talk to your univ's disability office, they're a great source of help.

[JNAProductions]

I don't have any great knowledge, but here's acouple of ideas:

get out and walk/run/physical activity. that's supposed to help with symptoms some.
watch some of your favorite comedies.

I agree you should talk to your univ's disability office, they're a great source of help.

You sound like my mom. (Which isn't a bad thing-she's awesome.) :P

Good news is, I slept, and feel a lot better today. I hope it doesn't happen again, but if anyone with more experience has stuff that's worked for them, that'd be greatly appreciated.

Which is not to say I don't appreciate your advice, Zlefin-I do! I'm just not sure how much help it can realistically be. Mostly since I tend to wake up with only a little time to get ready for school, and have trouble waking up earlier. Not much time for comedy or exercise then.

[zlefin]

even doing them the previous day helps. at least that's what the stuff I've heard in general is: exercise just helps with depression in general, more than just a same-day effect. regular exercise has some sort of long-term benefits that help with depression.

would it be feasible for you to go to sleep earlier so you have more time in the morning to get ready?

[Peccavi]

Hey JNA, really feel for you. I've been struggling with depression (and anxiety) for more than 10 years, it sucks and I'm sorry you're going through it.

Honestly, when I'm having a bad day like you've described, I tend to do the same thing. I stay home, play some games, watch some telly and generally try to switch off. I know that doesn't help with your grades and I can understand why you're concerned by that. But, I thought it was important to tell you that sometime's I just can't do it either, it's actually fairly 'normal'.

I suppose the main things that have helped me over the years are medication, counselling, meditation and yes regular exercise (you may not like it, or see how you can get any, but the science has spoken. It's probably the single most effective thing you can do for yourself).

I frequently have to change medications as, for no apparent reason, the stuff that I'm taking loses it's effectiveness. Don't be afraid to go back to your doctor, if you think they're not working well enough or as well as they used to. Again I'm not saying that this will fix your problems, but it might be worth looking at.

Mindfulness meditation has helped me a lot, you'll find no shortage of stuff on the web about it. It's not an easy skill to master, but if you can, you may be able to use when you're having a bad day. Or even reduce the likelihood of having a bad day.

Unfortunately there really isn't a magic bullet for the bad days, most treatments for depression are baby steps that all add up slowly to make things a little easier.

I don't know that I've helped much, I know it seems like nobody can help most of the time. But keep talking, try to keep your chin up, and remember you're not alone.

[JNAProductions]

even doing them the previous day helps. at least that's what the stuff I've heard in general is: exercise just helps with depression in general, more than just a same-day effect. regular exercise has some sort of long-term benefits that help with depression.

would it be feasible for you to go to sleep earlier so you have more time in the morning to get ready?

Not really. I have trouble falling asleep, so if I turn the lights off at 10, I'll be asleep at midnight. If I turn them off at 11:30, I'll also be asleep at midnight.

Thank you guys for your support.

[sandmote]

As more general point, perfect is the enemy of good. If you aim for never having one of these days, you're not going to be coping reasonably when they inevitably happen anyway. They're going to happen no matter what. Try to avoid them, but don't get too worried when one occurs.

Which I'm admittedly trying to remember myself.

[Thrawn4]

Not really. I have trouble falling asleep, so if I turn the lights off at 10, I'll be asleep at midnight. If I turn them off at 11:30, I'll also be asleep at midnight.

Thank you guys for your support.

Exercise also help with falling asleep.
And as others have pointed out, lightens up your mood quite a lot.

[Kol Korran]

Hey JNA. I deal with hypomania (Bipolar type 2), which means long terms of major depression, with shorter bouts of increased activity between. I've suffered greatly from it in my 3rd decade of life, (It wreckwd my studies. Took me 5 years to finish my 1st degree) , was on the verge of self harm twice, but have managed to get help, slowly heal and rehabilitatex and get to terms with it.

Today I'm a family physician, married with kids, and on the whole quite content and happy. I'm telling you this to say it's possible. It isn't easy, and it's a long way but it is possible.

Some things that I found help:
1. Set up a friendly watchful support system:
When depression sets in, your jundgment and motivation go down the drain. Which means you can do little tonhelp yourself and pick yourself up, other than to hole up in your safe zone, and wait it over... The key is setting up a support system of friends, family, and others whom you feel you trust and can confide in, and which stay in contact with you fairly often (every few days at the least).
Talk with them about your depression. Explain and educate them. Focus on explaining the problem of how hard (near impossible) is it for most depressed people to help themselves in the midst of depression, and ask for their help. What help? 2 main kinds:
- Alarm! Most people who suffer from depression recognize they are in it too late. (Due to fear, the distress they wish to avoid, and denial). Have your friends watch for signs of depression (Educate them!) Ask them to seek you if you're away, and not let you wave them off... when they realize you're going there, they need to both alert you, and get the help you need.
- Help! If they catch you early enough, they maybhelp by letting you vent, or getting you out, or some of the other stuff I'll mention. If you're allready deep in, they need to know (educate them!), how to contact The One/s You Listen To.

2. The One/s You Listen To:
This is by far the one thing that helped me the most in the tougher cases. But it's also not easy, and not everyone has such a person.
The One You Listen To, is a confidant whom you respect, trust that s/he has your best interests at heart, dedicated to your well being (even at times when you are not), and have been able to persuade/ sway you in the past- whomever it is, they have some sort of influence over you, and that's exactly whatbis needed
You see, when you're depressed, your judgment, energy, thinking and motivatiom are all messed up. And you're also very negative and resist most attempts at help. So you need an outside source, that can persuade/ pull/ kick your arse out of bed, and DO STUFF against you better judgement.
Do you have such a someone? They need not be someone whom you see regularily (mine was my brother, who lived far away. We normally talked once every few months, but he could get me, and into me...). Have a tall with them. The talk should include the following:
- Educate them about your depression.
- Ask for their help when you're deep under. At such time, they contact you often and make sure you do what MUST be done in order to not disrupt your life too.much, and seek emotional and mental help.
- On your part, you promise (and accept in yourself which is the hardest) to RELENT CONTROL over yourself tonthis person in these circumstances, even if evrrything in you objects. You will fight them when depression comes, but accepting this in advance makes relenting easier
- Connect between The One You Listen To to your friendly watchful support system.

As an aside, why one/s? Most people may have one such person, but some may have more. Note- this person is NOT your main therapist! (Though you shold contact them as well).

Ok, up till now it was outside help. Now for stuff YOU can do:
3. Music: Music has thr powrr to link and activate emotions you're not currently feeling
Put music you find helps you. It may be happy/ motivating, but it can also be hurtful/ melancholic. Whatever helps you then. I suggest to have a small notebook in which you note songs/tracks which can affect you, and program short lists of those to you computer/ cellular phone.

4. Focua on small steps:
When you're depressed, going to school can be overwhelming. So instead try focus on smaller tasks on their own... if you can then move to another small task, very well... sometime it builds momentum. Acting can be a force by itself.
Don't think "I need to go to school", think "I need to get out of bed and shower... that's it". If you can, then the next task can be "just to wear clothes and eat". The next will be "get outside and breath some fresh air".

5. About your sleep:
This can be changed and worked with. There are various techniques and therapies for adjusting sleep. (Not sleep medications! Those will wreck your sleep for the long run). Consult your doctor.

6. When outside depression, build a recharging routine. Find your emotional and mental recharge resources, and work these into your schedule, with them being firat priority! (Such as roleplay)

7. Exercise:
Yeah, like the others said. I hated exerciaing myself, but after building some stamina, (It takes 6-10 weeks or so. Till then it feels like punishment) I found it really helped me deal with my depressions. At times of great stress this is the most effective "maintainence". Ain't fun at the start, but give it 3 months, you'll see a change then...

8. Keep a "depression journal":
This is a small notebook, in which you simply note the following:
- The dates of eqch depression and how long it took.
- It's severity. (Some people give depression grades, other write feelings or what it disrupted).
- Any warning signs you may have noticed.
- What helped you deal with it.
Usually, you won't write while depressed, only afterwards. But it does help, mostly in the sense of making progress- One of the destabalising things about deoressions, is the "Oh sh*t! Not again!" feeling and dread. Usually after you've been doing ok for awhile.
But if you keep the journal, and you're learning to cope and going to psychotherapy (And doing the work that stems from it), you'll notice looking at the journal, that in time the frequency of depressions lessens, their duration lessens, and their severity lessens as well... It can do wonders for keeoing uo the (hard!) work of slowly getting better.

9. Professional help:
I'm mostly talking about the lomg term process, though also for within serious depressions. The psychiatrist is one arm of the treatment, but also a psychotherapist or another professional to do a process with you.
A small note on this- mental and emotional health and care are far from a perfect science. Most people need to change a few medications before they find what works for them (I needed to change 4), and the same goes for therapists. (I neede to change 3). Give treatments a try, but don't get discouraged if it was a bust. Recharge, and seek another.

10. Last, but not least:
Even non-ill people have bad days, some of them really bad, where they choose to just stay at home. These things happen and are normal. We are... more sensitive and prone to them, and they can whirl out of proportion... just be aware... and keep you friendly support system up.

I hopw this helps!
Kol.

[dps]

Not really. I have trouble falling asleep, so if I turn the lights off at 10, I'll be asleep at midnight. If I turn them off at 11:30, I'll also be asleep at midnight.

Thank you guys for your support.

If you haven't already, you might want to bring it up to your doctor that you have trouble sleeping. Not getting enough sleep can cause or worsen a lot of physical and psychological problems.

[halfeye]

Not really. I have trouble falling asleep, so if I turn the lights off at 10, I'll be asleep at midnight. If I turn them off at 11:30, I'll also be asleep at midnight.

Thank you guys for your support.

Every time they study this, it turns out most people are asleep after 20 minutes in bed, they just feel as if they are awake and thinking. It is very annoying, but if you count the time from when you went to bed to when you get up as time asleep, it seems to sort of work out.

[inuyasha]

Heyo, I know I'm a couple days late, and don't have a whole lot to contribute. But I've seen you for years on these boards, and I've always loved talking with you on various random D&D topics in that time.

I've been there though, it sometimes sucks even trying to get out of bed, and hoorah for even emerging victorious from that .

Good on you for getting some sleep and getting ready to talk with your school's disability services, after all you're the best advocate for yourself

[JNAProductions]

Thank you to everyone who's offered support.

I really appreciate it. :)

[Cockroach King]

Cheer up JNAProductions!


...please...

[darkrose50]

They have done studies. Smart folks are miserable. Less-smart folks have a higher level of happiness. Do not let it hold you back. Go tell them, and see what they say. They will likely not be phased.

----

I have Asperger's Syndrome and that often causes depression due to communications difficulties. I see efficiency issues at work, and I am often ignored. One efficiency issue almost cost me my job once, and then later cost me a great deal of productivity loss. It hurt to see the thing I pointed out unfold. It is frustrating to show someone something that you think is obvious, and be dismissed out of hand . . . especially when your job is on the line. This sort of thing is not rare, but is not common in my life, and is stressful to varying degrees.

I have seasonal effective disorder and that often causes depression due to lack of sunlight in the winter months. The burning lamps help, but they burn.

Seeing a doctor and a therapist is the main advice. Not all are created equal. There are doctor's and a therapist's that are bad at their jobs, or are not a good match. Changing a professional can be a good thing, and is an extremely better idea than giving up on the idea over all.

Talk about things with trusted family and friends could help, if they are helpful people with this sort of thing. Folks with training and experience like a doctor or a therapist likely should be the main source for help.

Keeping busy is healthy. I am an insurance agent, and it really helps that the winter is our busy season. There is no time to get depressed if I am working as many as 90-hours a week.

Exercise helps. Walk around the park, a mall, or a Wal-Mart.

Teaching yourself to approach random things from the point-of-view that would tell the best story helps. Assume that someone speeding about and weaving around in traffic just really has to go to the bathroom, for example. Basically look for the best story to tell yourself over something upsetting. The whole trust but verify idea. Willingly giving folks the good story will change the way you see the world. Note that this is not contradicting facts, just not giving too much weight to the probability of a bad-story.

Put things into perspective. Measure your crisis relative to some sort of scale. Likely your crisis is a low-level crisis. This could make you feel better. My mom makes those organizing professionals on TV seem quant . . . like a lemonade stand ran by a 6-year-old compared to a successful business employing thousands. Given a month I do not think I would be able to organize or clean a house to that level. Not having enough time to clean your house to the level that my stay-at-home mother with OCD can clean her house is a trivial concern next to someone that is homeless.

Be more like Mr. Rogers . . . seriously look into this man. The man should be up there with great wise/holy men and women of the ages.