(IC) Spreadsheet Inputs

[Hellfire014]

Know: Nature (1d20+11)[22]

Kiyoko grimaces, and calls out "Sorry!"

[jakarta]

Playing with order of operations a bit... Jakodo does not realize it, but Tam does. Billy is something like a troll. He is regenerating.

Jakodo knocks it out, but it is sticking itself back together.

The part burned by Tam's acid breath doesn't regenerate.

[jakarta]

Know: Nature [roll0]

Kiyoko grimaces, and calls out "Sorry!"

She also pcks up on "troll".

[CasualViking]

"Trevani! Torch, please!" Jokado calls out. His squire starts lighting a torch.

[jakarta]

Is anyone donating some oil?

[Dimers]

Ratlings aren't naturally oily, but Miss Chief responds promptly when Tam shouts to her, "Ay! We want some ceviche to accompany my grilling!" She sets down the crossbow and moves into the gulch to use her acid claws to help cook the trollish creature.

[jakarta]

The party, with torch and magics of fire and acid, spend several minutes reducing Billy to char and ash.

[jakarta]

The embarrassed Tori shifts forms and gets unstuck from the mud.

Searching under the bridge the party finds a ledge. On it are a nest like collection of tattered blankets and straw, several chewed tin cans, and a dirty backpack. The backpack has a label.

"William Vidal.
If found, return to
Madam Vidal's House of Beauty and Relaxation. "

In the pack is a shoehorn, a bottle of lavender scented hand soap, 4 bottles of cheap perfume, and a tattered book.
The Three Billy Goats Gruff
Inside the cover of the book is a card holder marked "Monroevia Elementary School". The card indicates that the book is 8 years overdue.

---

A strong wind blows in and lightening cracks. Dark clouds swirl above the bridge forming a pair of eyes.
A crackling voice, feminine and old, accuses from the eyes, "You harmed my son. Now I'll Fix YOU!'

Balls of flickering light fly from the pupils of the eyes and swoop down upon the party.

Everyone except the gnoll-chiken hybrid and Deku share the same fate.

The air smells of ozone and chemicals, and citrus-juniper conditioner.
Everyone gets the shocking pain of a unexpected armpit waxing. *Rip* *Chorus of screams*

And all, even the bald Tori, mane-i-fest a new, terrible, perm'ed hairdo...

Roll and see what you get:
1. Beehive
2. Rachel
3. Geri-curl
4. 2.5 ft radius ball Afro.
5. 3 ft high stair-step flat-top Afro
6. Nellie Olson.
7. Bad Elvis. a mutt of pompadour and mullet
8. Mohawk
9. reverse mohawk
10. Cornrows. If you are furred, this is full body.


The hairdo comes with a dye job...
1. Orange.
2. Bleach blond.
3. pink
4. blue.
5. multi color clown wig
6. maroon
7. singed
8. uneven strawberry blond with copper highlights.

The hairdo, without magical assistance, is indestructible for 1d365 days. Oh, it can catch on fire and burn you, and get dirty, but immediately reconstitutes if damaged.

Deku and the chicken hybrid...in a puff of salon chemical smoke, become magically combined...

The resulting creature is dwarf sized (halfling small with 'powerful build' and perhaps monkeygrip).
It looks like a chicken man with red and black feathers...with a smaller chicken on its head.
The body has small wings on the shoulders as will as kenku type arms.
The chicken sitting on the head has both arms and wings.

The resulting creature is very confused. It squawks, scratches and pecks the ground with both heads, and then rummages though Deku's backpack.

It arms self with the daggers, puts on a nametag reading "S. Sanders", stows Deku's clothes and then looks around...with both heads...

Walking over to Flail Flind, it says, talking with both mouths, "BAWK, Ca-cluck Group Dynamics BAWK, Stay with the Group, Cure light wounds Squack"
(1d8+5)[13].

It...Deku?...Sanders? also casts a healing spell on Jakodo. (1d8+5)[11]

It then starts to cross the bridge, looking back to ask, "Cluck, I thought we agreed Bawk east? To the Pirates ba-Bawk." and starts walking east.

In the distance, coming from the east, is a ...flock? of figures, some walking on two legs, some on four. They look like goats or sheep..and... sheeple?

So, is the party heading East towards sheeple, aquatic owlbears, and ghost pirates... North to investigate the river...or West to Madam Vidals?

Hairstyle for Sanders (1d10)[3], coloring (1d8)[7]
Hairstyle of chicken on Sanders' head. (1d10)[3], coloring (1d8)[4]

[CasualViking]

Jokado grows a huge afro-ball of strawberry blonde Karen hair.

Trevani grows pink cornrows. It's actually not terrible on her.

[jakarta]

Sanders has blue geri-curl on the chicken, which is nestled in grey/burnt geri-curl.

[ChaoticHarmony]

Tori pulls himself up, shaking his head. His mud spattered face clearly looks a little disoriented. "Ooh....my head.....what kind of mud is this? It feels like I landed on a bush and its getting caught on my head." With a simple wave of his hand, he cleans himself of the muck, clearly revealing his new hairdo with the bad dye job. Looking at the others, he spots the various hairdos, and the new Chicken man among them. "I think I hit my head a little too hard, why do you all look so weird?"

[Triskavanski]

Momoku sighed, huffing. Her hair honestly didn't change very much, but the badger's did. "Next time we run into something, can we not burn it to death?" Momoku asks. "Now we've got someone rather angry at us, and my armpits feel weird, and we still have no idea what is really going on."

The badger points to the pyro party, grumbling a litter herself before the two of them start to continue forwards.

[jakarta]

The drums continue, seeming to call inland

The eyes dissipated as the hairdos appeared. The flock continues to approach, slowly.

[Hellfire014]

"Kyaaaaa!" Kiyoko screamed at the unexpected waxing, as a strange feeling moves across her hair and tail-fur. She looks at herself, then screams out, "Dammit! I had my hair just how I wanted it, you witch!" She turns to her companions and says, "As soon as we're done with the pirates, I vote we go after her next."

[Dimers]

Miss Chief spends a couple frantic minutes railing against the Fates and proving to herself that, no, there's no mundane way to trim the 'fro. She is most put out. Explosions, attacks, horrid noise, that's all fine, but this is beyond the pale.

"I think I hit my head a little too hard, why do you all look so weird?"

Tam replies, "If you're just now noticing the weirdness ... no, you must mean weird for us. Madame Vidal is to blame, apparently. Hmm. Vidal. Why does that make me want to play a bassoon? ... Baboon with a bassoon ..."

[CasualViking]

"Stay strong, my faithful squire", Jokado exclaims. "Even though I...You have been horribly disfigured by this curse, stay strong! We shall find whoever is responsible, and there shall be a smiting. Oh yes. There shall be s SMITING". .

Jokado faces off against the approaching flock. "You think this is FUNNY?" he roars.

[jakarta]

(gnoll hairstyles pending)

The party moves 50 meters east of the bridge to catch up with Sanders and meet the appoaching flock.

They look harmless. A mix of lethargic looking nanny goats, and submissive looking sheep and goat people with several kids.

Except perhaps for the kids, some of who walk on two legs, they are all female, and most if not all are some degree of pregnant.

A few are wearing remnants of clothing.

A heavily pregnant ewe-person in a yellow dress with an apron seems the most human and looks at you most directly. A patch on her dress reads 'Mel's Diner' and the name Anne is embroidered beneath it.

"Baaaah, Where's Bbbbilllley? (Henceforth I will not emulate their speech problems.) Billy's our husband. Where's Billy?"

Several start repeating this, with occasional "Drums", "No. Billy says stay here." "Yum. Grass."

[Triskavanski]

"Nope. I'm out, you explain it and deal with it. I'm going after the ghost pirates" Momoku says walking away from the flock, Anaguma turning around to look at the party with a frown giving the 'i'm watching you' hand gesture before following after Momoku

[jakarta]

"Where's B illy? Did Billy go to the drums? Did he go to town? Where's Billy? Billy's our husband. Billy says to stay here. Grass. Yum *munch*. Where's Billy?"

[jakarta]

(Oh, I almost forgot..._)

Anne notices Trevani.

"Pink...purty."

She steps closer to the plant person...

"Purdy pink...*sniff* smells good..."

(Somebody made a squire who draws aggro from herbivores...there are 20 adults and 8 kids)

"Smells ....delicious...*Attempted Nibble* Baa".

(somebody needs to leave the area quickly)

The rest of the flock look hungrily at Travani....

🐐 🐑🐐 🐑🐐 🐑🐐 🐑🐐 🐑🐐 🐑🐐 🐑🐐 🐑🐐 🐑🐐 🐑🐏🌿🌼

[ChaoticHarmony]

Seeing how the sheep women react to his vegetative ally, Tori steps over to Trevani. Bending down, he whispers in her ear Climb onto me if you need to." Addressing the ewes now Tori says "Ladies, Billy has left for a time, but I am sure he would not want you to nibble at strange plants. Think of how he would feel if you got sick eating something you shouldn't have. Do you think Billy would be happy to have you vomitting everywhere?"

Spoiler: OOC

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Diplomacy (1d20+5)[23]

If anyone wants to climb on, I've got a good height advantage and can carry over 2 tons with no penalty in this form

[jakarta]

They look confused but accepting, but this seems to be their default state.

"Billy left for a time?" several repeat.

Tori carries Trevani past them, and the party hurries along.

(If anyone wants to speak with the sheeple you can post retroactively)

A hundred feet east of the bridge, the party passes, at a distance of about 30 ft, a pack of humanoid animals. There are 3 gnolls, 3 lizardmen, and a ratman. All if these wear fetishes, bone piercings and other markers if "tribal islander" identify. A few have black eyes, bruises, and/or bandages. Some are licking their lips as they head West at a jog. One is wearing a bib with a lamb on it, and is armed with a knife and fork. He really shouldn't be running holding those like that.

One of the gnolls and one of the lizard men have distinctive tattoos of a stylized number 4 on thier shoulders. They look a bit beefier than the others.

The ratman skids to a stop and looks at Miss Chief. Hs saunders over to her, leans in and addresses her in the language of rat people.

Spoiler: if you speak rat...

Show

Hey Soul Sistah, I really dig that retro look. Umhuum. Let's get it on...

The rest of the pack is spaced out perfectly for individual combats...if you feel the need to engage.

[jakarta]

[ChaoticHarmony]

Tori eyes the gnoll with the large fork and knife, and seeing its bib, realizes it is after thise poor sheep women and children. Fury overtakes him, prompting him to stand directly in the gnoll's path. Speaking in its native tongue, Tori yells out. "YOU'LL GO NO FURTHER SCUM!"

Spoiler: OOC

Show

Move 10 ft closer
Intimidate (1d20+9)[16]
Initiative (1d20+5)[20]

Ignore the Intimidate if I can't get it off before he comes closer

[jakarta]

Its eyes go wide, and it tries to go around you. It passes though your reach however. AoO.

[ChaoticHarmony]

AoO Trip Attempt: (1d20+20)[27]

AoO Slam Attack (in case I'm remembering AoO rules wrong and can't try to trip): (1d20+13)[24]

Edit: Sorry, brain is fried from the heat, I'll remember next time

[jakarta]

Uh, please always roll crit confirm and damage all at once. Saves a lot of posts.

[jakarta]

https://pin.it/4xbvk2pep6y37q

(Avg hp for a gnoll = Tori's damage bonus)
So, using the direct approach, it's dead Jim.

[Triskavanski]

Momoku and Anaguma were not about to let all the gnolls and lizard folk get slaughtered, and were at least going to try to stop them. Anaguma moves into position to strike a gnoll running past with her Kusarigama and trip the beast with an Attack of opportunity, while Momoku moves in to knock the creature out with a slash of the merciful katana.
"The Blind waltz of the waylaying serpent"

Spoiler: Anaguma - Path of the waylaying serpent

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Init (1d20+2)[16]

Trip Attempt as AoO vs Gnoll (1d20+10)[16]
If Crit - (1d20+10)[15]

If it hits, gnoll is tripped and needs to make a DC 18 reflex save or become flat-foot

Spoiler: Momoku - Blind Waltz

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Init (1d20+7)[10] Momoku if needed will delay after Anaguma gets in her AoO

Fighting Defensively -2 to attack +3 to ac
Feint - (1d20+11)[27]

Strike with Merciful Katana (1d20+8)[18]
If Critical (18-20/x2)with Merciful Katana (1d20+8)[22] to confirm hit

Damage Non-lethal (1d8+3)[7] + (1d6)[5]
If Critical hit (1d8+3)[5]

If enemy is flatfooted - Iajitsu Focus (1d20+11)[30]

If Iajitsu result is 10-14 (1d6)[6] if 15-20 add (1d6)[6] if 20-24 add (1d6)[4]

[Dimers]

"Billy left for a time?" several repeat.

(If anyone wants to speak with the sheeple you can post retroactively)

"Billy says to stay here," Tam emphasizes firmly before scurrying to catch up with the other heroes.

The ratman skids to a stop and looks at Miss Chief. Hs saunders over to her, leans in and addresses her in the language of rat people.

Spoiler: if you speak rat...

Show

Hey Soul Sistah, I really dig that retro look. Umhuum. Let's get it on...

Miss Chief freezes for a moment, internally warring between oh thank god, I've been wanting something to kill with justification and but if he gets closer than I can make better use of a surprise attack. The latter wins out, and she makes a "c'mere" gesture with one finger ... and when he does, she lays into him like he's a piñata full of Remove Curse potions.

Spoiler: mechanics

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(d20+4)[23] for (d6+4)[6] piercing/slashing and (2d4)[2] acid
(d20+4)[9] for (d6+4)[10] piercing/slashing and (2d4)[6] acid

crit confirmation if needed, (d20+4)[13], (d6+4)[10] more damage

If the ratling survives, Tam will comment, "Hoo! Hope you're into that kind of thing!"