SZbNAhL's Similarly Sibilant (if unpronouncable) Random Banter #223

[Peelee]

Nah, the laws of sympathy are going to cause you problems. You need to feed them to dogs, which you then feed to goats,which are finally safe to feed your familiar.

I'm not so sure a pseudodragon can eat a whole goat.

[Tvtyrant]

I'm not so sure a pseudodragon can eat a whole goat.

Good news, it is a pseudogoat!

[Anonymouswizard]

I'm not so sure a pseudodragon can eat a whole goat.

You mean you don't have the shrink food spell?

[LaZodiac]

I look upon this chaos I have wrought, and the only thing that can enter my mind is;

I just wanted to say I think pigs are weird. That was all.

What have I done?

[Tvtyrant]

I look upon this chaos I have wrought, and the only thing that can enter my mind is;

I just wanted to say I think pigs are weird. That was all.

What have I done?

Yeah, this thread has gone straight to the hogs, but there is no need to swine about it.

[DataNinja]

I look upon this chaos I have wrought, and the only thing that can enter my mind is;

I just wanted to say I think pigs are weird. That was all.

What have I done?

...the exact same thing that happens anytime anything is introduced to the RB thread. Either it dies out quickly, or takes on a life of its own. There is no other option.

[Anonymouswizard]

I look upon this chaos I have wrought, and the only thing that can enter my mind is;

I just wanted to say I think pigs are weird. That was all.

What have I done?

Speaking on things entering minds, I'm still waiting on advice, as well as getting frustrated at the almost daily reminders of having limited development with regards to relationships. I know it's not healthy, but it dominates my thoughts to the point where things like jobsearching get forgotten.

[enderlord99]

I've been called "Edgelord69" before, at least once.

[Anonymouswizard]

I've been called "Edgelord69" before, at least once.

Are you absolutely sure they weren't flirting with you?

[HalfTangible]

Are you absolutely sure they weren't flirting with you?

What kind of relationships have you been in that calling someone an edgelord counts as flirting?

[LaZodiac]

Speaking on things entering minds, I'm still waiting on advice, as well as getting frustrated at the almost daily reminders of having retarded development with regards to relationships. I know it's not healthy, but it dominates my thoughts to the point where things like jobsearching get forgotten.

First off don't use that word, even in the correct context of "slowed development" it's still pretty nasty.

Anyway, let's talk about love.

Spoiler

Show

Truthfully, it feels like you're in a mental situation where you want/need to feel validated via romance in some form or another. And being obsessed with that is a normal thing! You shouldn't feel about that. But you shouldn't let it loom over you that much. It's perfectly reasonable to want validation through romance, but there are other ways to feel good about yourself. Trust me, having broken up with the best person I've ever dated, I know what it's like to long for that sort of feeling again. Bet lingering on that desire, letting it swallow you up inside, isn't going to help anyone, including yourself. Dwelling on it will make every aspect of your life worse... which'll make it harder not just to pick yourself up, but also harder for others to want to interact with you.

I absolutely get how the sting of rejection hurts, but you need to put that hurt towards something productive. Maybe you're just in a time of your life where you are't really going to connect with anyone. There's nothing wrong with that, dust yourself off and focus towards other things. Write a book, play some games, stuff like that. Try and feel better about yourself so that when you are ready to try again, you have some more confidence. I realize just saying it like this makes it feel easy, and I can say definitively it's not, but you're going to have to do it eventually. Rip the band-aid off and take matters into your own hands.

I'd give more specific advice but my head is so full right now I don't remember every exact issue you've got to deal with. And ultimately, any advice I could give on it would only be from my perspective. You know what your issues and self-doubts are, contextualize them and think of a way to tackle them.

[enderlord99]

Are you absolutely sure they weren't flirting with you?

Yes .

[AMFV]

Speaking on things entering minds, I'm still waiting on advice, as well as getting frustrated at the almost daily reminders of having limited development with regards to relationships. I know it's not healthy, but it dominates my thoughts to the point where things like jobsearching get forgotten.

Honestly you might be better suited throwing yourself into something else. If you're feeling that way then you're going to jump itno relationships in a way that's going to either A.) Frighten people off or B.) Create an unhealthy relationship dynamic. Relationships and what-not are like anything else. The more you make it your focus the harder it'll be to pull it back once it's unhealthy. Maybe start with some arbitrary limits, like "I will only spend 20 minutes per day on dating apps" that sort of thing, so that way you can start pulling it back to where it's at a healthy level. Honestly from when I was dating spending more time on it and obsessing over it, never helped.

[Peelee]

Good news, it is a pseudogoat!

Note to self, give wizard pseudogoat familiar in next campaign.

You mean you don't have the shrink food spell?

I made a list of spells that no dragon will have, ever:

• Shrink Food

[Fyraltari]

Note to self, give wizard pseudogoat familiar in next campaign.

Aren't you supposed to DM?

I made a list of spells that no dragon will have, ever:

• Shrink Food

• Gold to Lead

[Tvtyrant]

I fairly recently went through a breakup, and my solution to wanting to contact her or bury myself in booze and ice cream was to go to the gym twice a day. After 3 weeks my emotions leveled off and I felt a lot less obsessive and broken. Funneling it into something positive with an endorphin payoff is my suggestion.

[Peelee]

Aren't you suppose to DM?

How else do you think I'm going to mess with the wizard in the group?

[Fyraltari]

How else do you think I'm going to mess with the wizard in the group?

Spell Resistance?

[Anonymouswizard]

What kind of relationships have you been in that calling someone an edgelord counts as flirting?

You wouldn't believe the insults my ex and I used to fling at each other...

Spoiler

Show

Truthfully, it feels like you're in a mental situation where you want/need to feel validated via romance in some form or another. And being obsessed with that is a normal thing! You shouldn't feel about that. But you shouldn't let it loom over you that much. It's perfectly reasonable to want validation through romance, but there are other ways to feel good about yourself. Trust me, having broken up with the best person I've ever dated, I know what it's like to long for that sort of feeling again. Bet lingering on that desire, letting it swallow you up inside, isn't going to help anyone, including yourself. Dwelling on it will make every aspect of your life worse... which'll make it harder not just to pick yourself up, but also harder for others to want to interact with you.

I absolutely get how the sting of rejection hurts, but you need to put that hurt towards something productive. Maybe you're just in a time of your life where you are't really going to connect with anyone. There's nothing wrong with that, dust yourself off and focus towards other things. Write a book, play some games, stuff like that. Try and feel better about yourself so that when you are ready to try again, you have some more confidence. I realize just saying it like this makes it feel easy, and I can say definitively it's not, but you're going to have to do it eventually. Rip the band-aid off and take matters into your own hands.

I'd give more specific advice but my head is so full right now I don't remember every exact issue you've got to deal with. And ultimately, any advice I could give on it would only be from my perspective. You know what your issues and self-doubts are, contextualize them and think of a way to tackle them.

Useful, I'll give the refocusing efforts another six to eight months, and in the meantime just stew in lonliness.

I want to get back into my writing, but half the time I end up with writer's block and drift back into this lonliness I'm trying to escape, or I end up angry and what I come out with is less good writing and more semi-coherent raging at the world.

Honestly you might be better suited throwing yourself into something else. If you're feeling that way then you're going to jump itno relationships in a way that's going to either A.) Frighten people off or B.) Create an unhealthy relationship dynamic. Relationships and what-not are like anything else. The more you make it your focus the harder it'll be to pull it back once it's unhealthy. Maybe start with some arbitrary limits, like "I will only spend 20 minutes per day on dating apps" that sort of thing, so that way you can start pulling it back to where it's at a healthy level. Honestly from when I was dating spending more time on it and obsessing over it, never helped.

Yeah, I know, and I know I'm also going to cause problems if I'm actually in a relationship due to being overly clingy and needy.

I'm just getting frustrated in seeing other people put in as much work as I do (or less) and being happy for it, whereas it seems like I have to struggle to make friends or even meet a new person, let alone move towards a relationship. It also doesn't help that when my brother's home he tends to rub the fact that he can find sex or a relationship essentially whenever the hell he wants, because he's attractive and extroverted and obviously I'm just moaning about nothing. So at a point in my life where my self esteem is at the lowest I feel like I'm getting kicked on all sides and told that I'll spend all my life alone and I should just stop looking.

• Gold to Lead

In all seriousness, I keep trying to work out the plot of a short story where the key idea is that after an alchemy rush a kingdom is undergoing resource shortages and is looking for the secret of turning gold into lead.

[Fyraltari]

In all seriousness, I keep trying to work out the plot of a short story where the key idea is that after an alchemy rush a kingdom is undergoing resource shortages and is looking for the secret of turning gold into lead.

1) Go to other kingdom.

2) buy lead with gold.

3) Let them deal with the economic recess.

[Teddy]

*gets into a tank*

I don't think that's a good hiding place. People only build tanks to put liquid in them, and that's only going to be clear water if you're lucky!

I look upon this chaos I have wrought, and the only thing that can enter my mind is;

I just wanted to say I think pigs are weird. That was all.

What have I done?

Don't worry, long pigs are weird too.

ION:
Something has happened to my immune system and I'm not happy with it. In the past, anything except for the absolutely most severe colds would last three days, you could almost set a clock. However, over the past year, several colds have all started in familiar fashion, gotten worse then better over the course of three days, reach a point where I don't feel as much bad as just fatigued and then, just... go on. I feel too tired for work or even basic household tasks, and there's little to no improvement for days.

Instead, I start to doubt myself, wondering if I'm simulating because some subconscious part of my brain has figured out this is an easy way to get out of work. In the end, the feelings of self-doubt and guilt become worse than the illness itself, and I force myself to work anyway, to a day of constantly zoning out and forgetting things.

Today was that day. Yes, I knew it would be that day, I knew from the outset what the outcome of the day would be, and apart from binging on cookies at the Friday Fika, it wasn't a good day¹. Still, I had to do it, simply to recalibrate myself with reality and affirm myself in both that no, I shouldn't feel this way, and no, this is no ghost of my brain's doing. Or if it is, at least it's serious enough that a little routine and discipline isn't the way to kick it...

¹Okay, work wasn't bad, but I didn't enjoy being me during it, and when I gave up after only four hours, it was the right time for doing so.

[Peelee]

Spell Resistance?

Spoiler: The show was too good for its time

Show

You wouldn't believe the insults my ex and I used to fling at each other...

"Ex," you say...

1) Go to other kingdom.

2) buy lead with gold.

3) Let them deal with the economic recess.

Sorcery!

[Fyraltari]

Spoiler: The show was too good for its time

Show

Which show?

Sorcery!

Far worse than that, my friend, these are the dark, forbidden arts known as... economics.

[Peelee]

Which show?

Clerks Uncensored. Which, of course, was massively censored.

ETA: Actually, that looks like that was the name of the DVD set. The show itself was Clerks: The Animated Series.

Spoiler: Abridged story, if you're interested

Show

So Kevin Smith makes some pretty successful movies, and wants to make a cartoon. UPN is set to show it, then ABC outbids them based largely on hearing that Kevin Smith made financially successful movies, but without actually seeing those movies. Which leads to things like finding out Jay and Silent Bob are drug dealers at the 11th hour and demanding they change to fireworks dealers, among other things.

The Episode 2 was a flashback episode (as a joke to mock flashback episodes), which obviously all flashed back to the Episode 1. This became a problem when ABC decided to run Episode 2 as the first episode, so viewers saw a plethora of flashbacks to an episode they never saw as their first introduction to the show. Don't you worry too much about that, though, ABC decided not to advertise the new show so there weren't a whole lot of people disappointed by that.

ABC then decided to run Episode 6 as the second episode, which was jokingly titled "The Last Episode Ever." ABC also ran that in a different time slot, on a different day, with again no advertising (this time, though, they not only didn't advertise the show, they also didn't advertise the complete changeup in when it was airing, so even people who saw the first episode and liked it weren't well-equipped to see the second). ABC then cancelled the show, citing low ratings.

I have no idea who I heard of it from, but I ended up getting the DVD to see all 6 episodes. It's fantastic. Probably the best show nobody's ever seen. The gif (which I post a lot, because I love that scene) is of Leonardo Leonardo, billionaire who was born in the town of Leonardo, NJ, and has returned to try to take it over. He's talking to the eponymous clerks, and IIRC describing some insidious plan that he has when the clerks point out an obvious logical flaw in the plan such that it had already failed, through zero effort on the clerks' part. Leonardo then responds with a 100% deadpan and accusatory "well played.... clerks."

It's a great show, I cannot recommend it enough, despite the fact that it makes Firefly look like a long-running series that was treated well by its network.

Far worse than that, my friend, these are the dark, forbidden arts known as... economics.

Economics? It'll never work.

[LaZodiac]

Useful, I'll give the refocusing efforts another six to eight months, and in the meantime just stew in lonliness.

I want to get back into my writing, but half the time I end up with writer's block and drift back into this lonliness I'm trying to escape, or I end up angry and what I come out with is less good writing and more semi-coherent raging at the world.

Yeah, I know, and I know I'm also going to cause problems if I'm actually in a relationship due to being overly clingy and needy.

I'm just getting frustrated in seeing other people put in as much work as I do (or less) and being happy for it, whereas it seems like I have to struggle to make friends or even meet a new person, let alone move towards a relationship. It also doesn't help that when my brother's home he tends to rub the fact that he can find sex or a relationship essentially whenever the hell he wants, because he's attractive and extroverted and obviously I'm just moaning about nothing. So at a point in my life where my self esteem is at the lowest I feel like I'm getting kicked on all sides and told that I'll spend all my life alone and I should just stop looking.

In all seriousness, I keep trying to work out the plot of a short story where the key idea is that after an alchemy rush a kingdom is undergoing resource shortages and is looking for the secret of turning gold into lead.

Okay so don't do that last part. Don't stew in lonliness. One of the biggest "things" that can drag you down over all is giving in to the temptation of wallowing in misery. Don't do it! Even if it's as simple as going "I'm going to be optimistic because otherwise I'll be in despair", even if you don't have much but hope, focus on that. Live in that mentality. It's what I did, and after years I actually found it.

When you hit writer's block, take a break and do something else for a bit. Write a different thing if you're still in a writing mood, ask for prompts, discuss things with other people regarding writing (you can DM me at any time for that I'm an avid reader and writer myself) just do anything to recharge yourself. And remember this vital piece of advice: today's failures do not erase yesterday's success. It's okay if you're not doing well today when you were good tomorrow. You will be better tomorrow.

Everyone's experiences are unique. Don't look at others and bemoan the fact that it's "so easy" or that they're putting in the same or more effort and somehow happy when you're not. Comparing yourself to others like that will only make it worse. It's something I had to learn the hard way that this is not healthy behavior. Everyone gets through this thing in a different way. And with all do respect **** your brother he sounds like an *******. Don't listen to people like that, there's a good chance a lot of their life is meaingnless on the inside and when they realize it they'll collapse like the broken shell they are. And if they don't you can always rest easy knowing he's basically just a dime a dozen loser.

That's a really cool idea actually! Work on that one!

Don't worry, long pigs are weird too.

ION:
Something has happened to my immune system and I'm not happy with it. In the past, anything except for the absolutely most severe colds would last three days, you could almost set a clock. However, over the past year, several colds have all started in familiar fashion, gotten worse then better over the course of three days, reach a point where I don't feel as much bad as just fatigued and then, just... go on. I feel too tired for work or even basic household tasks, and there's little to no improvement for days.

Instead, I start to doubt myself, wondering if I'm simulating because some subconscious part of my brain has figured out this is an easy way to get out of work. In the end, the feelings of self-doubt and guilt become worse than the illness itself, and I force myself to work anyway, to a day of constantly zoning out and forgetting things.

Today was that day. Yes, I knew it would be that day, I knew from the outset what the outcome of the day would be, and apart from binging on cookies at the Friday Fika, it wasn't a good day¹. Still, I had to do it, simply to recalibrate myself with reality and affirm myself in both that no, I shouldn't feel this way, and no, this is no ghost of my brain's doing. Or if it is, at least it's serious enough that a little routine and discipline isn't the way to kick it...

¹Okay, work wasn't bad, but I didn't enjoy being me during it, and when I gave up after only four hours, it was the right time for doing so.

The longest pig.

Oh jeez, look like you've been hit by something nasty. The one issue with being a rather fit outdoorsman explorer; when you do get sick it's something that can defeat YOUR immune system, so it's hella taint.

If I had to guess, it's a mixture of bugs just getting stronger and finally surpassing your body's natural power, and just a general tirdeness that comes with age. You're young, but you've done a lot of stuff. You go exploring all over and generally have a good time outside, so you've put yourself through the wringer. You're toned to the point where you're probably a bit TOO tone, you need some more meat to keep your bear insides warm. You also need better sleep and more frequent meals, if I recall.

You may also just be in a slump health wise. It happens. The human body is a magical death machine that barely functions.

[Teddy]

Oh jeez, look like you've been hit by something nasty. The one issue with being a rather fit outdoorsman explorer; when you do get sick it's something that can defeat YOUR immune system, so it's hella taint.

If I had to guess, it's a mixture of bugs just getting stronger and finally surpassing your body's natural power, and just a general tirdeness that comes with age. You're young, but you've done a lot of stuff. You go exploring all over and generally have a good time outside, so you've put yourself through the wringer. You're toned to the point where you're probably a bit TOO tone, you need some more meat to keep your bear insides warm. You also need better sleep and more frequent meals, if I recall.

You may also just be in a slump health wise. It happens. The human body is a magical death machine that barely functions.

I think you overestimate how much time I spend outdoors nowadays. It's honestly not a lot, and it's definitely not frequent, at least if we discount being outdoors in urban areas when getting to or from work. I'm still in some kind of shape, but that's because I'm too proud to use movement aids like escalators or elevators, too fidgety to keep my position in a chair, and too good at forgetting to eat to become obese. Plus good genes, I suspect.

I doubt ageing is to blame, nor the viruses somehow becoming hardier (which should be notable on everyone else, and also doesn't make a lot of sense). I don't get worse, nor do the peaks last any longer, I just get ill more often, and don't recover once the worst is gone. I personally suspect it's near entirely due to my inability to maintain anything even remotely resembling a healthy sleep schedule showing its long-term consequences...

[LaZodiac]

I think you overestimate how much time I spend outdoors nowadays. It's honestly not a lot, and it's definitely not frequent, at least if we discount being outdoors in urban areas when getting to or from work. I'm still in some kind of shape, but that's because I'm too proud to use movement aids like escalators or elevators, too fidgety to keep my position in a chair, and too good at forgetting to eat to become obese. Plus good genes, I suspect.

I doubt ageing is to blame, nor the viruses somehow becoming hardier (which should be notable on everyone else, and also doesn't make a lot of sense). I don't get worse, nor do the peaks last any longer, I just get ill more often, and don't recover once the worst is gone. I personally suspect it's near entirely due to my inability to maintain anything even remotely resembling a healthy sleep schedule showing its long-term consequences...

I mean you've done a lot of that in your past, so that still counts. And don't be so hard on yourself man, you're cool. You do need to eat more.

I mean age is a ticking clock. Even healthy people wear down eventually. And viruses... absolutely grow stronger over time. The flu adjusts and evolves every year, it's not impossible. And maybe this variant only affects you or only you have it. The sleep is DEFINITELY a problem though, yeah. I need to do a better job of reminding you to sleep, I stopped doing it when we stopped really hanging out personally way back when and I feel kinda bad about it.

[Teddy]

I mean you've done a lot of that in your past, so that still counts. And don't be so hard on yourself man, you're cool. You do need to eat more.

It does count for something, yes, but physical condition is still an expirable, you can't stay fit on old merits alone. And in what way am I hard on myself? Note that I neither consider my restlessness nor unexpected love story with stairs to be negative. If it means I can go from sitting in my office for months to suddenly don a 20 kg backpack and go on a hike, it's certainly a good thing. Being too proud to admit physical exhaustion helps as well.

I mean age is a ticking clock. Even healthy people wear down eventually. And viruses... absolutely grow stronger over time. The flu adjusts and evolves every year, it's not impossible. And maybe this variant only affects you or only you have it. The sleep is DEFINITELY a problem though, yeah. I need to do a better job of reminding you to sleep, I stopped doing it when we stopped really hanging out personally way back when and I feel kinda bad about it.

Ticking clock, not exploding bomb, and I don't really feel like this is something that crept up on me. And viruses mutate, but that doesn't generally make them stronger (and it just as often make them weaker as it do), only different in a way that means the body has to invent new antibodies against them. Otherwise we'd all be dying left and right in hell-colds! And while I've had to acknowledge that in some respects I am actually a pretty unique person, I don't tend to favour explanations which depend on my own uniqueness.

It might be a bit narrow-minded to bat off alternate explanations, but, well, while I have been pretty open about how bad I sleep, I haven't revealed exactly how much it messes with my body (I guess I haven't felt ready to handle people's concern). Point is, before I've managed to deal with that in some significant fashion, I don't see a reason to go hunting for alternate explanations.

And don't go seeing this as your responsibility, but hey, if you find me online when you get home from work on a non-Friday, you're entirely in your right to promptly shoo me off to bed. Given, even on really bad days, I still tend to be in bed already by then.

[Anonymouswizard]

Okay so don't do that last part. Don't stew in lonliness. One of the biggest "things" that can drag you down over all is giving in to the temptation of wallowing in misery. Don't do it! Even if it's as simple as going "I'm going to be optimistic because otherwise I'll be in despair", even if you don't have much but hope, focus on that. Live in that mentality. It's what I did, and after years I actually found it.

It's easy to say be optimistic, not easy to be it. Still, I guess this is a time where I'm going to feel glum and pessimistic some days, and I'm going to get better anyway probably isn't a good attitude.

It just continually feels like I'm sitting down to play Martian Chess, and half my friends are saying it's impossible to work out on your own but I can't give you any advice, and the other half are insisting it's Draughts (assume for the purposes of this exercise that all bar one of my friends are into Martian Chess). Like, normal social interaction is like chess, I know how to play it but end up in a bad position because I'm overly defensive and can't react to aggressive openings, but when it comes to dating it's like a game that I've heard about and never played, while I get told that it's intuitive and that nobody can give me any help and then I'm told off for feeling bad about it (no fingers being pointed at you, I've had advice that boils down to 'don't feel bad at all' rather than 'don't stew in loneliness').

When you hit writer's block, take a break and do something else for a bit. Write a different thing if you're still in a writing mood, ask for prompts, discuss things with other people regarding writing (you can DM me at any time for that I'm an avid reader and writer myself) just do anything to recharge yourself. And remember this vital piece of advice: today's failures do not erase yesterday's success. It's okay if you're not doing well today when you were good tomorrow. You will be better tomorrow.

I've been suffering from semi-permanent writer's block for nearly two years, it annoys me. I want to get a piece to a point where I feel like publically sharing it, but as it is most of my work would just get trashed (and is pulpy as **** anyway*).

* The bits that aren't are intentionally aping Asimov, so I'm not sure that counts as 'my style'.

Everyone's experiences are unique. Don't look at others and bemoan the fact that it's "so easy" or that they're putting in the same or more effort and somehow happy when you're not. Comparing yourself to others like that will only make it worse. It's something I had to learn the hard way that this is not healthy behavior. Everyone gets through this thing in a different way. And with all do respect **** your brother he sounds like an *******. Don't listen to people like that, there's a good chance a lot of their life is meaingnless on the inside and when they realize it they'll collapse like the broken shell they are. And if they don't you can always rest easy knowing he's basically just a dime a dozen loser.

Oh, life is going to hit him like a sack of bricks once he finishes university and his smoking catches up with him (although considering my weight problems maybe I'm not one to talk). The brother who is actually something and really successful is much nicer when we're not playing board games together, but we were never that close because he is great at making friends and I'm a nerdy nerd (although we do occasionally have the odd conversation on gaming or literature, they're our two shared hobbies).

Honestly, my brother stopped bothering me once I realised he had decided that spending all his free time at the gym, 'parties', and lying on the sofa watching the same handful of comedy programmes which think 'people being nasty' counts as humour. I susoect that while he's at the time of his life where everything's easiest, if I can just sort out a job for myself then in a year or five I'll be in the best part of my life and will have things to actually talk about (heck, the closest I got to a date in the last year game from talking about my writing). It's annoying and a horrible move for him to be talking about this stuff so much when I've had one relationship in my life that lasted two weeks, but once I've left the room and/ordug out the cricket bat it doesn't bother me anymore.

Which reminds me, I need to get a cricket bat.

But it's the implication that I'm moaning about nothing. Because being unable to get a date and not having seen your friends in almost a month is just peachy, I feel so loved right now that rainbows are coming out of my mouth as is the fact that I can't find a single job that I'm qualified for that'll take me and is better than the one I'm doing right now.

That's a really cool idea actually! Work on that one!

I would if I had the vaguest idea of a plot. I love the idea but have no clue where to go with it (I could do another 'single dialogue scene' story, but those aren't much fun to read).

[LaZodiac]

It's easy to say be optimistic, not easy to be it. Still, I guess this is a time where I'm going to feel glum and pessimistic some days, and I'm going to get better anyway probably isn't a good attitude.

It just continually feels like I'm sitting down to play Martian Chess, and half my friends are saying it's impossible to work out on your own but I can't give you any advice, and the other half are insisting it's Draughts (assume for the purposes of this exercise that all bar one of my friends are into Martian Chess). Like, normal social interaction is like chess, I know how to play it but end up in a bad position because I'm overly defensive and can't react to aggressive openings, but when it comes to dating it's like a game that I've heard about and never played, while I get told that it's intuitive and that nobody can give me any help and then I'm told off for feeling bad about it (no fingers being pointed at you, I've had advice that boils down to 'don't feel bad at all' rather than 'don't stew in loneliness').

I've been suffering from semi-permanent writer's block for nearly two years, it annoys me. I want to get a piece to a point where I feel like publically sharing it, but as it is most of my work would just get trashed (and is pulpy as **** anyway*).

* The bits that aren't are intentionally aping Asimov, so I'm not sure that counts as 'my style'.

Oh, life is going to hit him like a sack of bricks once he finishes university and his smoking catches up with him (although considering my weight problems maybe I'm not one to talk). The brother who is actually something and really successful is much nicer when we're not playing board games together, but we were never that close because he is great at making friends and I'm a nerdy nerd (although we do occasionally have the odd conversation on gaming or literature, they're our two shared hobbies).

Honestly, my brother stopped bothering me once I realised he had decided that spending all his free time at the gym, 'parties', and lying on the sofa watching the same handful of comedy programmes which think 'people being nasty' counts as humour. I susoect that while he's at the time of his life where everything's easiest, if I can just sort out a job for myself then in a year or five I'll be in the best part of my life and will have things to actually talk about (heck, the closest I got to a date in the last year game from talking about my writing). It's annoying and a horrible move for him to be talking about this stuff so much when I've had one relationship in my life that lasted two weeks, but once I've left the room and/ordug out the cricket bat it doesn't bother me anymore.

Which reminds me, I need to get a cricket bat.

But it's the implication that I'm moaning about nothing. Because being unable to get a date and not having seen your friends in almost a month is just peachy, I feel so loved right now that rainbows are coming out of my mouth as is the fact that I can't find a single job that I'm qualified for that'll take me and is better than the one I'm doing right now.

I would if I had the vaguest idea of a plot. I love the idea but have no clue where to go with it (I could do another 'single dialogue scene' story, but those aren't much fun to read).

Like I said, only you have the answers to how to refocus yourself on the positive. I personally live by that cred of "I feel bad today and I'm going to stomp on my depression until I feel better", the idea that I'm going to MAKE myself feel better. I get how that might not be helpful, but I feel it's worth a shot. And I mean, that's not me saying you're not allowed to feel bad. You can absolutely feel bad, and accept that you are having a bad day. I just think accepting you are having a bad day is important, because it'll help you face things.

(also that comic is good, but let me make this clear: It's never your fault if your sickness, be it mental illness or otherwise, tears you down. It's NEVER your fault. You have some control over yourself and your actions, yes, but there's some days that are just Bad. It happens. Never feel bad about feeling bad.)

As someone who is autistic, I ABSOLUTELY understand what you're getting at. I've found in my own personal experience that no one really knows what the hell they're doing, and if you meet someone who is confident about how they go about social situations they're either lying to you or lying to themselves. No one has a ****ing idea what's going on or how to do this, so you need to find some sort of approach that fits you. I try to be just a very up beat, energetic person. I always say good morning and "hope you're doing well" to my friends online, basically at the same time each day, and to people I interact with at stores and stuff. For me, I just push face forward with politeness. And to be blunt, I have ZERO experience talking with people in bars or in public in any real situation that would lead to a maybe-date, except for one time I was sorta hitting on a co-worker at my Mom's bar way back when and se took me out to eat but it wasn't a date-date it was just a friend thing and I felt awful about it for a long time. Also only like two of my online relationship's haven't ended with something horrible happening.

So I'm definitely not speaking from experience in any real sense. But then, experience or not, that's basically everyone. You can do it, you just need some confidence.

As for writing... yeah, getting stuck hurts. It took me about 6 or 7 years to actually start writing my book, thanks to detailing much of the plot of my world to a friend and them inspiring me to get at it. I took a break from that since I felt unable to continue for about a year, and then after showing some stuff to another friend they encouraged me to do more, I wrote more from the beginning again, and they read it and said it was great and should be published and I've been on that path ever since, with the occasional break due to depression and a need to rest. So maybe you just need something like that? Something to like... light a fire underneath you.

Yeah dealing with... garbage family is one of the biggest reasons I was stuck in a rut for so long. I can only really recommend getting out when you can, and trying to get more active with your friend groups when you can. Because that's going to be a positive uptick in your life, I assure you.

PM me and I'll try and help you out! I'll throw a prompt at you regarding the concept and you can build off that.