Sideshow - Servants of Bobo [Mad Hermit] - Game Thread

[Tibbius]

SOMA's dozen monkeys assault the seven apes attempting to complete the strange metallic contraption, which resembles a deformed offspring of a doorway and a gyroscope.

The apes devolve as monkey teeth and metal claws batter their vacsuits. With simian shrieks and grunts, they swing tools savagely against their brain-chipped distant cousins. The monkeys - eight of them - fall back with angry noises. Three huddle whimpering and twitching on the deck of the docking bay. One lies silent and still in a spreading pool of blood around its head.

SOMA's chips make the monkeys comprehend and unthinkingly obey its instructions. They don't help SOMA comprehend the monkeys.

Dr. Frog observes innocuously.

The apes crouch angrily, teeth bare, tools poised to strike. All seven still are up.

[gryffydd65]

Dr. Frog still tries to comprehend what is going on but all he can think of is to move closer and try to heal the injured monkeys.

[Tibbius]

Dr. Frog still tries to comprehend what is going on but all he can think of is to move closer and try to heal the injured monkeys.

Ok - roll to heal a monkey.

[NontheistCleric]

"Curses!" screams the SOMA. "Disengage, but continue to demonstrate aggression!"

Relying on its monkeys to continue distracting the apes, the AI probes wirelessly to see if there is anything about the strange device that can be accessed remotely.

[Tibbius]

the AI probes wirelessly to see if there is anything about the strange device that can be accessed remotely.

This would be a single 1d6 since it's not really related to any of SOMA's Words.

[NontheistCleric]

Not even the Words Word? Seems like it might be applicable to programming and such. Either way, though, here's that 1d6.

[Tibbius]

Not even the Words Word? Seems like it might be applicable to programming and such. Either way, though, here's that 1d6.

That's a good point. Sorry I didn't think of that. Here's another 1d6 - (1d6)[2] please pick which you prefer, and narrate. and I'll go with the "2" as a beneficial outcome.

SOMA cautiously probes for a wireless gateway, and comes up with a couple. One is the familiar AutoTentAssembler interface, which Bobo disdains because he hasn't bothered to repair a few old actuators. It makes no difference to SOMA, who is in no manner involved with setting up the tent - though it has repeatedly directed monkeys to help out, the extent of mechanical understanding required to adequately instruct them has been ... excessive for SOMA's programming.

The other gateway calls itself "GateControl" and seems more likely to relate to the strange structure, which does to an extent resemble a multi-dimensional gateway. Without further probing there's no way to know what command menu might activate the structure's control routines.

[gryffydd65]

Ok how many dice do I roll to heal. Can't find the rules.

[Tibbius]

Ok how many dice do I roll to heal. Can't find the rules.

rollv 2d6 and pick one, even is good (heals the target), odd is bad (damages your Toughness or Resilience - you decide). 6s may roll again and add.

[NontheistCleric]

The SOMA quickly checks that the monkeys are still distracting the apes. Still no Bobo... what is Mandrill-Two doing?

Then it renews its digital assault, targeting GateControl.

[Tibbius]

Building from past narrative, SOMA (barely) figured out how to pilot a starship, so considering its Words Advantage I'll give it an even chance to hack the gate controls. That's rollv 2d6 and pick the one closer to your name. hacking the ultragate: 2#1d6 2 1: Nope.

The access point is wrapped in a maze of protocols mostly unfamiliar to SOMA. It begins to get fuzzy in its algorithms as frustration mounts in microseconds. Operating more rapidly than a mere bioform could comprehend, it collides with the network security like Lola running full tilt into a wall.

A monkey squawks from the direction of the tent. It's Mandrill-Two!

[gryffydd65]

Dr. Frog tries to heal the monkey.
(1d6)[4]
(1d6)[4]

[Tibbius]

The monkey twitches and scrambles up to a sitting posture, patting its head and body with apparent concern. It squeaks and chatters at Dr. Frog, nudging him with its tail.

As SOMA withdraws from engagement with the security protocols, it notices a testing input port. Although not familiar with what this wireless access point controls or communicates, the artificial intelligence decides that it couldn't possibly do any harm to inject a few random bytes and ... just see what happens.

Portions of the almost-completely-assembled apparatus spasm into motion, then fall off, making satisfying clatters and clanks on the decking.

[NontheistCleric]

"Ah, Mandrill-Two!" exclaims the SOMA. "Is Bobo there? I'd turn to check if my servo wasn't so slow. If you're there, Bobo, these apes have constructed this questionable thing and initiated hostilities! I advise you call security!"

Then it begins barking orders. "You four"—a remote electric jolt through their implants alerts four of the still-standing combat monkeys—"charge! The rest of you—the enemy's heads are down!"

It's a code phrase for a tactic they've used before. While the four baboons charge, the SOMA fires up its summoning circuits and re-summons the remaining six—including Mandrill-Two with its large, sharp-edged bludgeon—right in the air above the apes, angled to strike.

All of the SOMA's advantages are potentially applicable in this maneuver, so here's the 2d6...

[Tibbius]

O.S.C. ftw! "Yes, and..."

The monkeys fall with abandon and impact, quickly subduing and in some cases slaughtering the larger but very surprised apes. Blood and spit pool on the deck as cold steel and hot hydroxyapatite mete injury.

SOMA and Dr. Frog hear a blast of Bobo's vuvuzela and three pink-scaled gorillas charge into action, focused not on further beating-down the apes but rather on bringing down the alien erection. With mighty hands they rip apart the metal and plastic arches and actuators. As they do so, a flock of bats abruptly appear within the central arch and spill into the docking bay, fluttering and squeaking as they dart and swirl madly around you.

Suddenly and with a startling hissing noise, two of the bats swoop near the deck and dissolve into humanoid forms. Naked, slender, white-furred and red-eyed, the new people on the scene hunch menacingly, grimacing to reveal sharp fangs. They turn hypnotic gazes upon Dr. Frog and SOMA.

Being in one case non-humanoid and in the other non-biologic, you both are unaffected.

[Tibbius]

I don't think we have any players remaining who are actively interested in escaping from Bobo ... so I'm thinking I might merge a new game ("Sideshow - Servants of Bozo") into this one to pick up a few new players. Same rules we're using right now, though I would ask you to add a Failing to SOMA's stats if the merge comes to pass.

A general point about these rules - when things eventually go wrong for SOMA, I'll leave it to you what bad things happen directly to it. I'll handle environmental setbacks.

[NontheistCleric]

"Bobo," says the SOMA calmly, "you might want to cover your eyes. Security, you too." The circusmaster is certainly humanoid, and if these vampires had apes working for them, it's not a stretch to think they could have some effect on gorillas. Correctly or not, it trusts the strength of its control over its monkeys.

"Gentlemen," the AI addresses the newcomers. "I am afraid that will not work on us. I must say it is incredibly bad form to set your minions erecting unauthorized structures on our grounds, but since you have gone to all this trouble, I invite you to speak civilly with us."

Privately, the computer is relieved that the vacsuited simians apparently have nothing to do with its former master, though it's still a little concerned that the pygmy marmosets have yet to return. It sends a brief signal to their implants, to check if they haven't been deactivated by the monkeys' deaths.

Oh, new players! Exciting! I did see the recruitment thread and wondered if that would be related. Should I roll for the failing on the Mad Hermit table, or can I pick?

Also, I realize it hasn't actually been specified what sex or gender these vampires are, but then, non-monkey sexual dimorphism isn't the SOMA's area of expertise.

[Tibbius]

even + Commanding: do the vampires entrance Bobo or a gorilla?: 3#1d6 3 4 3 = yes, but ...

Scanning the scene with its flex-neck camera, SOMA perceives a sudden shift in one gorilla's demeanor. While the other two continue placidly twisting, bending, and gnawing scraps of metal and plastic tubing (they're more intelligent than this activity suggests, SOMA knows - they're just easily amused), the third gorilla abruptly stands upright, shoulders slumped, mouth gaping to reveal her impressive fangs. Hesitantly, she shuffles around to face SOMA, and takes a step forward.

One of the two still-seated gorillas barks an inquiry and brandishes a big scrap of metal; SOMA's translator circuitry renders it "What the hell? We were playing here! It's your turn to bend."

SOMA's monkeys chitter and make a respectful distance from the slow-moving great ape.

[Tibbius]

Oh, new players! Exciting! I did see the recruitment thread and wondered if that would be related. Should I roll for the failing on the Mad Hermit table, or can I pick?

Whatever seems more fun!

[NontheistCleric]

"Oh dear," murmurs the SOMA in a scratchy electronic undertone. Like the other monkeys, Mandrill-One maneuvers away from the approaching gorilla, keeping at a safe distance. After one fight, the AI isn't sure if its monkeys can stand up to the gorilla if she chooses to attack, and even if they did, what about the vampires afterward? Better try a different tack.

"Madam," it calls to the gorilla, realizing in the moment that it really needs to put more effort into learning others' names, "surely you cannot have let these albino nudists dominate your mind? Are you not a gorilla, noble and powerful? You are unlike these lesser apelings all strewn in blood around us! Come, everyone, let us encourage her to break free!"

The monkeys break into a chorus of defiant screeches and chatter.

"Bobo, you too. Say something empowering, or your hard-paid-for employee will be lost to these trespassers!"

Can the SOMA use the power of largely indifferent passing acquaintance to break the vampires' hold?

[Tibbius]

No, and ... ordinarily would be an uh-oh moment, however, there already was a Mistake with the vampires' efforts ...

Staring blankly and drooling a bit, the gorilla shambles past SOMA in utter ignorance of the monkey screeching and the AI's entreaty. Awkwardly swiveling its camera, SOMA views the great pink scaly backside and heavy feet of the ape receding across the matte metal decking of the docking bay.

"Damn it," squeaks one of the white furry humanoids. "Give better instructions, Jacques!"

What does SOMA do?

[NontheistCleric]

The monkeys quiet down as the object of their encouragement moves away.

"Well," comments the SOMA, "I suppose that could have been much worse."

It turns its head to look at Bobo. "You've been oddly quiet. Any input?"

[Tibbius]

Bobo stands slackjawed gazing at the two vampires or whatever they are. He's nonresponsive to SOMA. His hands hang limply at his side, the vuvuzela barely grasped.

The vampires converge and mutter to each other. They seem very confident in their presence. The swarm of bats continue to swirl in the air, high up near the ceiling of the docking bay.

Rubes are emerging from the circus tent. The show is over. They all seem disgruntled, as if the show had not been satisfying. A few of them shout derogatory comments: "Clowns suck!" "The show was lame!" "You're a lemon and I want my juice back!"

Lola trots out of the tent, comes to a halt when she sees the vampires, backs into the tent again. The vampires don't seem to notice her.

Dr. Frog sits quietly with his mouth open, watching events.

[NontheistCleric]

"Ah," says the SOMA. "I see. Spider-One, jump onto Bobo's head and try to slap him awake. Squirrel-Five and Squirrel-Six, target these interlopers!"

In swift motions, the two squirrel-monkeys activate their grenades and hurl them towards the vampires.

Can they even aim properly?

[Tibbius]

Bobo responds to Spider-One's attention just as squirrel monkeys Five and Six successfully drop the pins and fling the grenades. The grenades arc short of the vampires, being a bit heavier than the oranges that the monkeys have used in practice.

Bobo flings himself to the deck. The grenades go off. Shrapnel flies.

Imprecise aim is not an obstacle to the application of hand grenades. The vampires, caught by surprise, collapse in the shock wave.

does SOMA survive the grenades unscathed? (even): 3#1d6 1 3 3 No, and ...

The broad applicability of explosive objects is a bug as well as a feature. SOMA, unlike the vampires, is unsurprised; however, it has no way to drop to the deck, and suffers some effects of the explosion.

Pick two:

• camera gets all fuzzy
• speaker gets erratic
• must now roll to find out whether monkeys arrive when summoned
• camera servos frozen
• memory chip cracks - lose one key piece of information that will become important later
• main processor dislodged - SOMA goes into stasis

[NontheistCleric]

Already carrying a large weight on its back, the force of the explosion is sufficient to topple Mandrill-One backwards, slamming the SOMA into the ground.

It squawks in indignation. "Get up, Mandrill-One! I must assess the situation!"

Yet when Mandrill-One stands, SOMA's 'neck' does nothing but droop in the wrong direction, servo rendered nonfunctional by the fall.

"Oh dear. One more thing to repair. Spider-One, get up here and turn me to face them."

Once Spider-One resumes its position atop the SOMA and tugs its monitor in the right direction, the computer briefly regards the vampire bodies before declaring, "It seems we are victorious. Doctor Frog, could you help our wounded? Everyone else, get some rope and secure the still-living apes. Take them to our tent when you're done."

As the monkeys set to binding the apes, the SOMA runs a quick systems check. Apart from the damaged servo, it detects only a slight fracture in one hard drive. Lucky that that one wasn't holding anything important.

"Feeling alright, Bobo?" it asks the circusmaster. "A third of security blundered off hypnotized while you were out; you might want to find her in case she gets up to trouble. Also, my pygmy marmosets haven't reported back, which means those monkey troublemakers we saw earlier are still on our grounds somewhere. Anything in particular you'd like to do?"

I'm going to go with the frozen servo and cracked memory chip.

[Tibbius]

"I think we've definitely overstayed our welcome," Bobo answers with a broad gesture toward the ring of spectators gawking at the outcome of recent events. "Ladies and gentlemen!" he shouts toward the rubes. "Nothing more will happen here! We merely experienced a brief invasion by foul creatures of the night, our monkeys resolved the situation!" He raises the vuvuzela to his lips and plays a merry rhythm. In response, the female gorilla bellows across the docking bay and begins to hasten back toward you. The two male gorillas yell back at her and pound their chests. SOMA's translator renders "you ok? The monkeys got rid of the weirdos!"

Pretty soon the yokels have dispersed to their ships and launched, leaving the circus forlorn and alone in the huge open space. SOMA and Bobo command the monkeys and gorillas to break down the tent. As you do so, you notice that there are no ships remaining. The simian hecklers must have decamped with your marmosets!

Something seems to be missing from the situation, but you can't remember what. Bobo looks around anxiously, gesturing to the gorillas to heft the tent poles. He leads the way into Mirrors and Shadows, the gorillas following.

What do you do?