Mx. Tarrasque's Hireling Agency IC

[Ridai]

"Four girls! And maybe a granddaughter soon too, if Zephyria doesn't throw in the towel," Bernaise says, suffused by an almost literal warm glow as she thinks of her family (and thus also her Luvia; there will have to be many trips back between jobs, but to Bernaise's credit, she is able to suppress twirling her hair around a finger as she thinks about her solar mate). She does make a mental note about Nova's reaction, but leaves it at this for now. They are now, as the cityfolk say, "on the clock", and perhaps a little comfort and privacy will go a long way towards broaching that particular topic.

She also pats her condolences on Shadowscale's shoulder, given the bow tie result, with the unspoken promise that one day, they shall be promoted to the lofty heights where ties shall be free!

The nymph raises a begloved hand high in the air, 120% motivated. "What will we be subduing, Mr. Boss, sir? Something in the tavern, or the tavern itself?"

[ICN]

Aven wilted a bit in the face of Mimo's furniture facsimile of a facial expression. He'd been getting looks like that an awful lot since coming to this city. But he'd show them all eventually, they'd see. In the meantime though, he fidgeted uncomfortably in the uniform. It managed to get the wing holes right, which had been a real rarity back home, but he just wasn't used to wearing much in the way of clothing. Taking all hits really did a number on your wardrobe. Which... might be a problem if he had to pay for damages to the outfit actually.

"How tough are these uniforms exactly? If they get destroyed as a natural result of us carrying out our expected duties, are we still liable for them?" He glances at Shadowscale. "If purely cosmetic modifications are out, how about ones that serve a non-cosmetic function?"

Thinking a bit more on the bow tie issue, Aven forms his spirits into a loose collar around his neck, hovering over the uniform without touching it. "Maybe something like this could work?" he says to Shadowscale.

[Llyarden]

Mimo gives an overdramatic sigh. "You're not going to be sent to deal with anything powerful enough to damage these uniforms. If, by some miracle, you do end up getting them damaged on the job, then you can submit form 546A...unless it was 564A...whatever, you submit some form or other that says that they were damaged on the job and then your branch supervisor reviews it and decides whether you should be charged based on the form. That's the official answer. Unofficially, you'd better have a real good excuse if you're going to make me do more work reading forms. They're enchanted to allow their bearers to 'fully utilise their normal equipment and abilities while still maintaining a coherent, consistent appearance across all our valued employees,' but if you really want to get permission to modify them, you'd have to ask my boss. But if you do decide to go pester her, I absolutely told you not to under any circumstances."

He looks back over to Bernaise. "Okay - Mimo's Important Lesson For Living In The City, number 1. This City is occupied by beings so overwhelmingly powerful that a drop of their sweat has more magical energy than the five, six, however many of you there are now, all put together. The only reason the whole damn place doesn't explode from the energy is that even more powerful entities have made this City somewhere people like us can be safely. But even that's not flawless. I don't know if you ever went to a tavern back on your world?"

"I didn't," Nova pipes up, and gets as withering a glare from Mimo as a chair can give.

"That was rhetorical. For those of you that did go to taverns, you'll know they come with drinks and food being spilled, people being sick, riotous dancing, bar brawls, all that good stuff that, in the City, means a lot of deities in close proximity giving off a lot of energy, and a lot of Ambrosia thrown about the place. And all that energy has to go somewhere, so it goes into the building and its furnishings. The buildings themselves are warded well enough that they keep a steady level of power, but the chairs, the tables, the alcohol bottles, the chandeliers...whatever the heck they have in there, it all gets...rowdy. So, every so often, the Agency gets contracted to...basically burn off all that extra energy. In other words, beat up anything in there that moves until it isn't moving any more."

[Bphill561]

Shadowscale resists the urge to summon up an illusion of a free floating bow tie. It is probably against the spirit of the rule, and he rather try such things in private if he was really going to experiment. Hmm, there are some spell effects that overlay an image on top of you, maybe the uniform will get rid of those...

Unintentionally playing with his collar, "Thank you all for your fashion condolences. It seems will just have to rise to the position of Bosses so we can dress to impress." He keeps a steady eye on Mimo while delivering this statement. Maybe Mimo would sound even more pessimistic if he warranted a response at all.

"Lets see what kind of rowdy undesirables we can find at the tavern, you know, besides us." Shadowscale wonders if the uniform will smell like split alcohol or if it is self cleaning. If any free drinks are acquired, he would love to blame the smell of alcohol on the uniform. Got to get your loot some how, and drinks would be least likely to be missed in a bar fight.

[Ridai]

"That sounds hilarious! No further questions, and ready to go!" True, the tavern becoming divinely animate is not really what would happen in the normal cityfolk experience, but she has been inside a tavern mimic once, so Bernaise figures this is close enough. Sometimes you are beating up the tavern's patrons, sometimes you are beating up the tavern. Tomato, potato, as the mortals say.

[ICN]

Aven goggled at Nova's pronouncement. "What?! That's a proper tragedy is what that is. Mimo's completely right about bars being wonderful. There's drinking and laughing and fearless tales of mighty deeds and the fish that got away. Then, when everyone's properly buzzed the fighting starts. You pick up whatever's close to hand, tables, bottles, cha-" Very nearly too late, Aven's brain managed to point out to him that Mimo was directly in his line of sight. "*-nge. Rolls of change held in fists. Never chairs though, always had a soft spot for chairs, boss. Anyways, then you smash the item over the head of the person you're tangling with."

Aven pauses a moment, a medley of the many furnishings that he had smashed or had smashed against him running through his mind. There probably wouldn't be some pandimensional hive mind of furniture that would hold a grudge there though. "I suppose if we're fighting furniture we should really be hitting them with people instead, but..." He looks over his colleagues. Three of them were hiding from detection magic, and Bernaise had magical armor. "I don't think any of you could really take it. You all seem like the dodging type," he says dismissively. "Unless one of you knows something about wielding people as weapons?"

Aven snaps his fingers. "Oh, I know what to do. This is Nova's first bar brawl, and it would be a crying shame if we didn't do it right. We'll all start drinking here, get to know each other and get the party going, then head to the bar for the fight. I'll make the drinks so give me your orders. So what can you folks do anyways? I'm strong and tough!" He flexes demonstratively, and then notices Mimo again. "Uh, boss, this is one of those business parties, you know, ummm..." he tried to remember some of the grease speak Meilin would use with merchants and bureaucrats. "A team building exercise for our fledgling department, vital for increasing cohesion and for turning a group of disparate individuals into one synergistic whole, capable of responding agilely and efficiently to the varied challenges of the modern business environment. Err... I suppose we could maybe drink on the way instead."

Spoiler: *Bluff Check

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*Bluff Check: (1d20)[15] Technically Aven should have a modifier, but he's just so, so bad at lying.

Spoiler: Other Mechanics

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Aven will use the Sustenance talent to make everyone's drink, and a mineral water for the office plant. Profession (Cook): (1d20+54)[57]

[AlexanderML]

The Bark Tails gave each other looks when Bernaise mentioned her kids, since Bark Tails children were far more numerous. Though most were unnoteworthy on a world stage, he still kept up with them when Zu permitted.

The two look towards Mimo with a nod after he gives his speech, the pair could feel the minds beneath becoming impatient. Yet then Aven began to amuse the minds, even as both Bark Tails still felt weary about all that energy. Bark Tail nods in confirmation when Aven mentions talking on the go.

[Llyarden]

"That sounds fun!" Nova says, excitedly, as Aven explains the concept of a bar brawl to her - only to them kinda deflate when he says none of them would be able to take him using them. "Aww..."

"Consuming alcohol on duty is a breach of the code of conduct," Mimo says, "so for goodness sake don't go drinking outside. I'd be the one having to explain it to my boss if you get reported, and that's way too much work. Anyway, now you all know what you're doing, go team build on the job." He taps one of his legs on the floor, making a loud wooden clack sound that seems to echo a little bit longer than it should.

"I'm strong and tough too!" Nova slithers over to Aven, mimicking his flexing - although given that she's completely enclosed in her armour, it doesn't really demonstrate much in her case. "Or...I think I am?" She considers for a few moments. "I guess being the strongest thing in my universe doesn't mean much here. Hmm..." She falls quiet again before returning to Aven's original question as she starts to head for the door. "What kind of drink tastes sweet? I never got to drink anything before, it kept evaporating. But sweet things taste nice!"

[Ridai]

"If diplomacy fails or circumstances become too annoying and resistant to words or when I feel like it, I tend to shoot things with my bow. I also dabble in a little magic! And a little bit of this, little bit of that. As for toughness, I prefer the dance instead, unless my dearest Luvia wishes to shield me from harm as I swoon in their strong arms." As much as Bernaise nigh-compulsively gushes about her soulmate (oh, a tiny little twirl of the hair snuck out!) and their children, the nymph doesn't toot her own horn all that much. She's feeling perfectly comfortable being exactly how she is.

As for Nova wondering what drink tastes sweet, Bernaise moves over to her. "Oh, plenty ones, especially if you add sugar to them. Mortals in my world are especially fond of honeyed milk, or even better, the vaunted 'choccy milk'. They hold iron belief it warms the very soul, and I am inclined to agree." She could really go for choccy milk right now. But more importantly, she adds "Nova, darling, I have an idea. Whenever you think of something you haven't done before, but would like to do, make a list, you tell us, and we'll see about making it happen. New experiences are wonderful things." Really, the nymph is beginning to wonder what else poor Nova has been deprived of. Bernaise may as well correct such appalling hands dealt by the proverbial hand of Fate the mortals so love to talk about.

[ICN]

Aven shrugs. "Alright, choccy milk it is then. It's more about the spirit of the thing than the spirits anyways." He makes the drinks for everyone and downs his in one gulp. The ritual of barroom commiseration officially begun, he starts talking as he follows Nova out the door, nodding in sympathy at her words. "I don't know about my whole universe, but I never met a being I couldn't out muscle before. First day here though, I get smashed to jelly in a contest of strength in a bar. And not even a good bar by this place's standards, this was some crummy dive bar. It's been a real challenge to adjust. Like, did you know there are spurious bridge salespeople here? I know I probably come across as the perfect worker who's been doing this job thing for my entire life, but it's honestly just natural talent; this is the first time I've ever done this sort of thing."

Aven nods enthusiastically at Bernaise's words. "Yeah, that sounds like a good time. You just let us know, Nova."

[Ridai]

"Wow, first day and already got into a bar fight and a potential scam! I have much to learn!" Bernaise beams as she clinks choccy milk mugs with Aven and whoever else wants to join in, and starts the delightful sipping process, giving not one, but two approving "Mh"s in regards to the beverage.

[Llyarden]

"Okay!" Nova clinks her mug with Bernaise happily. The question as to how exactly she might end up drinking it is answered shortly thereafter when a faceplate on her visor slides down - causing a bright light and heat to emanate from the opening in her armour.

Fortunately, the City's magic means that the chocolate milk doesn't immediately evaporate, and Nova downs hers rapidly as well, wriggling almost like her whole body is wagging instead of just her tail. Her visor slides back closed with a click before she turns back to Aven. "Delicious!" Then she pauses. "But, um...where are we?"

The door that had brought you from the alleyway into the Agency branch...does not appear to have taken you back to the alleyway when you left the building.

Instead, you find yourselves in an entirely different building - an unoccupied tavern, with a large statue of a sleeping penguin pride of place in the centre.

And while at first the tavern seems like a normal tavern - well, 'normal' by the standards of the City, anyway - there is a certain...tense...atmosphere, despite there not being anyone else in there with you. The perceptive among you would notice that things are moving, slightly, subtly. The effect reminds you unnervingly of some kind of big animal readying to pounce at its prey.

Apparently, this is what Mimo meant when he said that transport would be provided to the site of the job.

(The door to the tavern, which you'd seemingly come in by, if you open it, opens on to whatever road the tavern itself is - but only slightly, as some tape has been placed across the door, preventing you from opening it more than an inch or two. The tape...isn't actually attached to anything, it's just kinda stuck in mid-air at its ends, and it seems to be as much magic as it is a physical substance, black letters spelling out 'THA Workers On Site. We Appreciate Your Patience' scrolling past with a black cartoon tarrasque figure on either end of the sentence.)

[Ridai]

"We are right where we should be," Bernaise sages serenely, as blinks of the eye, a magnificent bow appears in the nymph's hand, looking like a branch straight from a storybook drawing transitioning into slender canopies with a starry nightsky peeking through the leaves, no matter from where one looks at them.

"Ooh, quick! What is proper tavern fight behavior? Do we start blasting, or do we agitate the furniture first?" One may as well do it right when one fights a tavern for the first time!

[ICN]

"Generally some gibes are good form, get some verbal sparring to lead into the actual sparring." Aven starts limbering up and opens his mouth confidently. After a moment, he closed it. None of his existing repertoire was really fitting here. "I'll... furnish you a beating? Ugh, no." Aven swears and furrows his brow in desperate thought, taking in the surroundings. "...Y'all look like your maker wasn't allowed to work sober." Aven nods in satisfaction at that one.

Spoiler: Mechanics

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Seems like combat's afoot, so Aven will expend martial focus to enter the Improvised Martial Arts stance for 13 rounds, turn the belated shift shapeshift trait into the size change, growing up huge size or whatever is comfortable for the space if smaller, and will regain martial focus by taking a drink.

[AlexanderML]

The Bark Tails fidget glancing around them, the vines they carry on their backs moving a bit as they ready themselves. Then suddenly the pair effectively disappear as they begin to move in an invisible blur across the room.

As the pair are having a minor bit of panic, the minds beneath them are warmly amused at the present tension. They begin archiving the event for the future review.

Spoiler: Mechanics

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Both Bark Tails use the Vanish talent to make a stealth check even while being watched, with Walk Unseen they can continue to be out in the open and not break stealth, and finally with Lurker they are not automatically detected by unusual senses like Blind Sight, Tremorsense, and other mundane or supernatural ways to automatically detect someone in stealth.

Original Bark Tail Stealth Check: (1d20+76)[84]

Duplicate Bark Tail Stealth Check: (1d20+76)[93]

Perception Checks (just in case it helps):

OBT: (1d20+69)[80]
DBT: (1d20+69)[88]

Zu begins to archive the next minute's worth of events in their Mental Archive.

[Ridai]

As Aven so kindly demonstrates proper tavern fight etiquette, the nymph follows his example. Well. At least as far as she understands it. A finger goes to her jawline in thought for a moment before pointing up in realization.

"I wanted to jibe about standing in a run-down Abyssal latrine, but not even dredges about to explode would piss on you if you were on fire!" Whether the delighted grin and sunny disposition with which she delivers this helps or hinders the matter at hand remains to be seen.

Spoiler: OOC

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Bernaise doesn't really do anything productive, but she has her bow in hand and thus threatens everything within 220ft of her.

Though I guess she readies a shot at the first thing that attacks them, just for giggles. Her initiative is unaffected by this due to Patient Hunter.

[Bphill561]

"I was kind of hoping for a spot of tea first, since the normal libations are against the rules."

Shadowscale looks around the tavern trying to figure out why it seems to be the tavern itself that we are fighting. "Did I ever tell you about the time I fought the dreaded Gazebo. It was a horrible construct that turned people into stone, there were statues everywhere." At least now the building knew he meant business.

Spoiler: Perception Check

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Can see Ethereal Creatures.
(1d20+49)[53]

[Llyarden]

"Hmm..." Nova's faceplate slides down again, illuminating the surroundings in a harsh, white light - and illuminating (and heating) Aven for a moment as she looks up at him curiously as he changes size. "It's hard to tell if you're all the right way up!" she adds to the verbal sparring.

And whether it's the insults or just it had taken a few moments for the Ambrosia in the tavern's furnishings to awaken - but the tenseness is broken and the tavern leaps to the attack!

Spoiler: OOC

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Okay, so, here's the map. Hopefully it's obvious who's who.

The black squares are the walls, which are effectively unbreakable. The dark grey behind y'all are the doors to the tavern, which are closed and sealed by the Agency's tape and are also effectively unbreakable. The pale brown is the bar and a raised stage for performers; crossing from floor to raised area or back counts as difficult terrain (although as a Huge biped Aven is probably fine.) The more reddish-brown at the back are the doors to the kitchen, which are closed but not sealed off; there is stuff back there I just haven't drawn it on the map because y'all haven't seen it yet.

As for enemies...
- All the Cs are chairs.
- The Is are instruments - a harp, a flute, and a small set of drums (the Piano is of course also an instrument but it was big enough that I could actually write 'piano' on it.
- The Ls are chandeliers...because I already used C for chair.
- The Ss are bar stools.
Everything else actually has its name written on it.

(Oh and yes everything labelled on the map is hostile. Including the statue.)

Please roll your initiative in the OOC thread; anyone who beats the enemies can act in any order they choose. Then the enemies will act. Then all PCs will act. And so on and so forth.

Tavern Initiative: (1d20+15)[33]

Nova Initiative: (1d20+6)[24]

[Ridai]

"We'll find you some proper victory tea," Bernaise assures Shadowscale.

With the tavern leaping into action, the nymph feels a little hyped! A city of gods! Where she is now the lowest of the low! Surely, she cannot expect her abilities to easily measure up right?

So she fixes the penguin statue dominating the center with a look brimming with excitement. "Oh monument to smelly avians! Big and stinky usually meant strong-ish in my world! Please don't disappoint!"

From one moment to the next, the nymph begins to move with entirely uncanny smoothness, all while her position seems to become uninterested to stay in one place or orientation (though most people present likely will still see her true position easily enough; city of gods, am I right?). She puts her free hand to her bow, and pulls back, a golden string beginning to appear, and with it kaleidoscopic arrows.

"TAVERN FIGHT!" And as she begins to fire, not putting in much effort into aiming for especially good spots, Bernaise looses a dozen arrows of refracted starlight at the penguin statue.

Spoiler: Actions!

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Bernaise, true to her nature, does not go all-out yet, wanting to test the waters.

Free Cast haste via Swiftblade's Sudden Casting.

Full Attack the statue with Perfect Manyshot. Not using extra attack via haste. Three arrows hit per successful attack. Attack ignores concealment, all cover except full, etherealness, get rerolls vs miss chances. Every arrow is also a targeted CL 25 dispel magic.
Attack 1 - (1d20+60)[76] - On hit: Attack 1, Arrow 1 force damage - (2d6+41)[50], Attack 1, Arrow 2 force damage - (2d6+41)[48], Attack 1, Arrow 3 force damage - (2d6+41)[47].
Dispel checks: (1d20+25)[43], (1d20+25)[42], (1d20+25)[31]

Attack 2 - (1d20+60)[66] - On hit: Attack 2, Arrow 1 force damage - (2d6+41)[51], Attack 2, Arrow 2 force damage - (2d6+41)[47], Attack 2, Arrow 3 force damage - (2d6+41)[47].
Dispel checks: (1d20+25)[42], (1d20+25)[33], (1d20+25)[26]

Attack 3 - (1d20+50)[57] - On hit: Attack 3, Arrow 1 force damage - (2d6+41)[45], Attack 3, Arrow 2 force damage - (2d6+41)[47], Attack 3, Arrow 3 force damage - (2d6+41)[48].
Dispel checks: (1d20+25)[45], (1d20+25)[43], (1d20+25)[44]

Attack 4 - (1d20+45)[51] - On hit: Attack 4, Arrow 1 force damage - (2d6+41)[50], Attack 4, Arrow 2 force damage - (2d6+41)[52], Attack 4, Arrow 3 force damage - (2d6+41)[50].
Dispel checks: (1d20+25)[39], (1d20+25)[33], (1d20+25)[40]

Active effects/buffs: haste (+1 AC/attack bonus, 50% concealment, targeted spells have 50% spell failure chance vs Bernaise)

Off-turn: Bernaise threatens every square within 220ft of her, has infinite AoOs per round.
AoOs done with +62 attack, 2d6+51 force damage. Ignore the same things as the full attack above.

Enemies threatened by Bernaise provoke AoOs by attempting to cast defensively (Spellcasting Harrier), take +4 DC to cast defensively, and provoke AoOs upon failing to cast defensively (Disruptive, Spellbreaker). Enemies entering or leaving her threatened area via teleportation provoke an AoO, even when casting defensively or using a supernatural ability (Teleport Tactician).

If a threatened enemy does a 5ft step or withdraw, it provokes an AoO that does no damage, but prevents the move action and the target doesn't move.

[Llyarden]

As the furniture of the tavern springs to life, the building is filled with kaiedoscopic light as Bernaise unleashes a hail of mystical arrows at the oncoming furniture. The chandeliers, their forms wavering like a heat haze, escape the worst of the damage, but almost every other item of furniture ends up with an arrow of starlight embedded into it.

"Pretty..." Nova murmurs, tail wagging as she regards the multicoloured scene.

The statue, however, is made of sterner stuff, and most of Bernaise's arrows glance harmlessly off it - and those that do land true don't seem to particularly bother it all that much. And then it opens its eyes, and the intoxicating energy of a thousand drunken stupors crashes down on the group - followed a moment later by a thunderclap as the statue claps its wings together, creating a blast of sonic energy that smashes into the furniture in its path without any apparent concern for its comrades

Then the furniture descends upon the new employees of the Agency, the chairs almost swarming over each other as they wildly strike at the group with their legs, while the bar stools march in perfect synchrony towards the group, each of them raising one leg, and outright fire their legs out of their own body like ballista bolts - the much bigger bar stool's leg crashing down like a caber.

Some of the chairs clamber onto the tables, which bounce up on two legs and launch their smaller brethren towards the group with extraordinary force - one of the tables apparently thinks better of being too close to the hirelings and takes a comparatively weak swipe at Aven before scuttling back.

The flames of the chandeliers burn brighter, almost blotting out the kaleidoscopic light of Bernaise's attacks, and they launch a hail of blazing bolts like meteors towards their opponents - six of them gather up together, energy swirling, and evidently decide that Aven and Nova, as the biggest, must be the most dangerous, because they launch bolts of energy towards the two larger hirelings that crackle with incredible force, a gravitational impulse that threatens to disintegrate whatever it touches lancing towards Aven and a strange, shimmering beam of mysterious power aiming at Nova.

The five casks of alcohol rip themselves off their shelves and start rolling towards the group, comparatively placidly compared to the frenetic action of the other items of furniture. That doesn't stop Bernaise from hitting each of them with an arrow - one of them being completely pierced through by the shot - although as alcohol sprays out of the resulting holes, the casks seem to speed up a little, positioning themselves so the spraying alcohol flows over the statue, wreathing it in a bewildering mix of holy and unholy energy, while the largest of the bar stools, as it gets coated in alcohol as well, grows even larger still, large enough that even Aven in his enlarged size would have looked like a child sitting upon it.

Spoiler: OOC

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Bernaise, who has apparently not yet learned the art of Just Roll Good, only hits the Statue with her first attack.

Instruments
Swift: Each of them begins a different Bardic Performance. The Harp, Flute and Piano play various performances with a short radius that doesn't affect anyone yet, and the Drums (I3) play Inspire Courage.
Move + Standard: The Harp, Flute and Piano double move, provoking from Bernaise, who hits all of them.

Statue
Free: Open its eyes to subject all hostile targets within 60ft to its Drunken Gaze. Everyone make a DC55 Fort save; on a success you are Sickened as long as you are in the radius, on a failure you are Nauseated for as long as you are in the radius.
Standard: Sonic Boom; a 60ft cone that hits all the PCs, Tables 11 & 12, Chairs 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 64, and Big Chair 8. Reflex DC60 halves. Chair 62 manages to succeed with a natural 20, the rest fail.
Sonic Damage: (25d8)[136]
End of Turn: Regenerate hp.

Chandeliers
Move: Chandeliers 1, 3, 6 and 8 move, provoking from Bernaise
Standard or Full-Round: Chandeliers 1/2/3 team up to attack Aven while Chandeliers 6/7/8 team up to attack Nova. The other Chandeliers attack one target each, all +4 atk for Inspire Courage (+54 for 20d6+30 plus DC50 Persistented ??? vs Prismatic Spray), all provoking from Bernaise. On all hits, the target is additionally affected by prismatic spray, and on everything except the team-up attacks, you have to roll any saves twice and take the worse result.

Spoiler: Vs Aven

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Chandelier 1/2/3 vs Aven: (1d20+54)[61] vs touch, (1d20+25)[35] Spell Penetration, (20d8+10)[88] damage (half fire, half epic magic bludgeoning), (1d8)[3] Prismatic Spray Effect
Chandelier 4 vs Aven: (1d20+54)[67] for (20d6+30)[97] (half fire, half magic epic bludgeoning) plus Persistent Prismatic Spray: (1d8)[4]
Chandelier 5 vs Aven: (1d20+54)[59] for (20d6+30)[92] (half fire, half magic epic bludgeoning) plus Persistent Prismatic Spray: (1d8)[8]

Spoiler: Vs Shadowscale

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Chandelier 9 vs Shadowscale: (1d20+54)[60] for (20d6+30)[111] (half fire, half magic epic bludgeoning) plus Persistent Prismatic Spray: (1d8)[4]

Spoiler: Vs Bernaise

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Chandelier 10 vs Bernaise: (1d20+54)[58] for (20d6+30)[96] (half fire, half magic epic bludgeoning) plus Persistent Prismatic Spray: (1d8)[2]

Spoiler: Vs Nova

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Chandelier 6/7/8 Vs Nova: (1d20+54)[73] vs touch, (1d20+25)[41] Spell Penetration, (20d8+10)[85] untyped damage with a DC50 Will save to disbelieve (20% damage) and negate the rider effect. (1d8)[2] Prismatic Spray Effect
Chandelier 11 vs Nova: (1d20+54)[56] for (20d6+30)[89] (half fire, half magic epic bludgeoning) plus Persistent Prismatic Spray: (1d8)[5]
Chandelier 12 vs Nova: (1d20+54)[71] for (20d6+30)[102] (half fire, half magic epic bludgeoning) plus Persistent Prismatic Spray: (1d8)[2]

Bernaise hits Chandelier 1, 3 and 6 for their movement but misses Chandelier 8 due to miss chance. When they attack she misses Chandelier 1, 3, 4, 6, 7, 11 and 12 due to miss chance, hits Chandeliers 5, 9 and 10, and crits Chandelier 8.

Chairs
Move: Into melee with the party, or as close as they can get, all provoking from Bernaise, except for one from each table (2 from the Long Tables) and for C59 who is already in melee. The Big Chairs all provoke from Aven, as do a random 9 other chairs, and then he runs out of AoOs. Big Chair 2 unintentionally tries to move into the Bark Tails' squares, which is an invalid end position, so it ends up one square back, but it does now know that something occupies that space.
Standard: Attack variously. Damage is magic, epic, adamantine and bludgeoning.

Spoiler: Attacks vs Aven

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Chair 23 vs Aven: (1d20+59)[72] for (1d6+19)[21]
Chair 24 vs Aven: (1d20+59)[65] for (1d6+19)[25]
Chair 25 vs Aven: (1d20+59)[76] for (1d6+19)[24]
Chair 27 vs Aven: (1d20+59)[76] for (1d6+19)[25]
Chair 28 vs Aven: (1d20+59)[67] for (1d6+19)[23]
Chair 49 vs Aven: (1d20+59)[62] for (1d6+19)[24]
Chair 53 vs Aven: (1d20+59)[71] for (1d6+19)[24]
Chair 58 vs Aven: (1d20+59)[68] for (1d6+19)[23]
Chair 59 vs Aven: (1d20+59)[65] for (1d6+19)[21]
Big Chair 3 vs Aven: (1d20+54)[69] for (2d6+34)[38]
Big Chair 5 vs Aven: (1d20+54)[59] for (2d6+34)[38]
Big Chair 8 vs Aven: (1d20+54)[72] for (2d6+34)[38]

Spoiler: Attacks vs Nova

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Anything that touches Nova must make a DC37 Will save or be ignited and a DC46 Reflex save or be glued to her.
Chair 10 vs Nova: (1d20+59)[69] for (1d6+19)[20], Reflex (1d20+35)[55], Will (1d20+33)[47]
Chair 11 vs Nova: (1d20+59)[73] for (1d6+19)[21], Reflex (1d20+35)[54], Will (1d20+33)[46]
Chair 12 vs Nova: (1d20+59)[60] for (1d6+19)[24], Reflex (1d20+35)[45], Will (1d20+33)[51]
Chair 52 vs Nova: (1d20+59)[62] for (1d6+19)[20], Reflex (1d20+35)[55], Will (1d20+33)[52]
Chair 61 vs Nova: (1d20+59)[73] for (1d6+19)[23], Reflex (1d20+35)[43], Will (1d20+33)[40]
Chair 63 vs Nova: (1d20+59)[78] for (1d6+19)[23], Reflex (1d20+35)[37], Will (1d20+33)[53]

Spoiler: Attacks vs Shadowscale

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Chair 14 vs Shadowscale: (1d20+59)[60] for (1d6+19)[21]
Chair 22 vs Shadowscale: (1d20+59)[62] for (1d6+19)[22]

Spoiler: Attacks vs Bernaise

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Chair 9 vs Bernaise: (1d20+59)[62] for (1d6+19)[23]
Chair 13 vs Bernaise: (1d20+59)[67] for (1d6+19)[23]

Big Chair 2 Vs Bark Tail: (1d20+54)[68] for (2d6+34)[39], 1-50 misses: (1d100)[38]

Bernaise hits all of them and crits C2, C8, C37 and C40. C60 and C64 take no damage because they were only 5ft-stepping, but their 5ft-steps are cancelled.

Aven hits C22, C25, C28, C32, C49 and C53 plus all the Big Chairs, and crits C23, C24 and C27.

Stools
Move: Forwards (provoking from Bernaise).
Standard: Each of the small stools will launch one of their legs at one of the visible PCs, at +4 atk/dmg from Inspire Courage, provoking a second time from Bernaise. The Big Stool fires its leg as a 20ft line that hits all the visible PCs. DC50 Reflex halves. Damage is epic, magic, adamantine and piercing in all cases.
S1 vs Aven: (1d20+61)[72] for (2d6+24)[32]
S2 vs Shadowscale: (1d20+61)[73] for (2d6+24)[28]
S3 vs Bernaise: (1d20+61)[70] for (2d6+24)[29]
S4 vs Nova: (1d20+61)[70] for (2d6+24)[27]

Big Stool Damage: (4d6+40)[54]

Bernaise hits all of these AoOs.

Table 11 punches at Aven and then moves away, provoking from Bernaise. Table 12 just moves away, provoking from Bernaise. Bernaise hits both of them.
Table 11 vs Aven (+4 for Inspire Courage): (1d20+54)[56] for (1d6+19)[23]. Damage is magic and bludgeoning.

The other Tables launch their remaining chairs at the PCs (+64 for 3d6+49). This does not provoke. The Long Tables take -2 for firing two chairs, and each of them will launch a chair wildly into the squares that the Bark Tails occupy. The Chairs take the same damage they deal; on a miss, they take half damage and end Prone. Damage is epic, magic, bludgeoning and adamantine.

Spoiler: Attacks vs Aven

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Big Table (Big Chair 4) vs Aven: (1d20+64)[84] for (5d6+64)[76]

Spoiler: Attacks vs Shadowscale

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Table 1 (C17) vs Shadowscale: (1d20+64)[79] for (3d6+49)[63]
Table 3 (C26) vs Shadowscale: (1d20+64)[68] for (3d6+49)[60]
Table 4 (C31) vs Shadowscale: (1d20+64)[70] for (3d6+49)[58]
Long Table 1 (C1) vs Shadowscale: (1d20+62)[67] for (3d6+49)[62]

Spoiler: Attacks vs Bernaise

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Table 2 (C21) vs Bernaise: (1d20+64)[67] for (3d6+49)[56]
Table 5 (C34) vs Bernaise: (1d20+64)[83] for (3d6+49)[55]
Table 6 (C38) vs Bernaise: (1d20+64)[69] for (3d6+49)[52]
Long Table 2 (C15) vs Bernaise: (1d20+62)[67] for (3d6+49)[60]

Spoiler: Attacks vs Nova

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Table 7 (C42) vs Nova: (1d20+64)[73] for (3d6+49)[61]
Table 8 (C46) vs Nova: (1d20+64)[81] for (3d6+49)[53]
Table 9 (C50) vs Nova: (1d20+64)[81] for (3d6+49)[57]
Table 10 (C54) vs Nova: (1d20+64)[71] for (3d6+49)[63]

Spoiler: Attacks vs Bark Tail

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Long Table 1 (C5) vs Bark Tail: (1d20+62)[70] for (3d6+49)[61], 1-50 misses: (1d100)[39]
Long Table 2 (C16) vs Bark Tail: (1d20+62)[79] for (3d6+49)[62], 1-50 misses: (1d100)[47]

The Casks start trundling their way towards the PCs, provoking from Bernaise, who hits all of them and would crit Cask 1, but it doesn't take extra damage from crits. As a free action once they've moved, Casks 2, 3 and 4 spray alcohol from the holes Bernaise put in them, which has a variety of effects - 2 and 3 target the Statue, 4 targets the Big Stool.

[Ridai]

Bernaise watches most of her arrows have no effect against the statue, and those that do appearing to have hardly any effect.

Most furniture does not disintegrate from having been shot by the nymph.

And after absentmindedly stepping through the sound wave (and avoiding the statue's gaze by simply failing to pay attention to it, distracted by the mayhem unfolding), she is nailed in the head (with a resounding bonk) by a chair with enough force to take an ogre's head clean off and nail the mush it would be turned into to a distant tree.

Best. Day. Since she came here.

Laughing with such pure joy, almost incidentally loosing an arrow to intercept the chandelier attack aimed at Nova, Bernaise beams at her colleagues with the biggest of blissful smiles. "Hahaha! What a day! What a lovely day!" And as she speaks, a much greater barrage of arrows than before is shot at the statue.

Everything worked out better than expected.

Everything's coming up Bernaise!

Spoiler: Actions

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Immediate Use Interceptor to try and prevent the team attack by the chandeliers at Nova. She makes an opposed check against the chandeliers' attack check with a full BAB attack check of her own. If she succeeds, the attack is entirely prevented. Can be used against magical attacks via the Advanced Marksman Technique version of Interceptor.
Attack check - (1d20+62)[72] Failed

Full Attack Attack the statue with Perfect Manyshot and the extra attack via haste. Three arrows hit per successful attack. Attack ignores concealment, all cover except full, etherealness. Every arrow is also a targeted CL 25 dispel magic. Every arrow does force damage. Bernaise's attacks do not provoke AoOs. Crit profile 19-20/x4, auto-confirm.
Attack 1 - (1d20+60)[71], Arrows (CL checks): (2d6+41)[49] ((1d20+25)[32]), (2d6+41)[44] ((1d20+25)[37]), (2d6+41)[45] ((1d20+25)[36])
Attack 1 - (1d20+60)[68], Arrows (CL checks): (2d6+41)[47] ((1d20+25)[45]), (2d6+41)[49] ((1d20+25)[45]), (2d6+41)[52] ((1d20+25)[37])
Attack 1 - (1d20+60)[79], Arrows (CL checks): (2d6+41)[52] ((1d20+25)[28]), (2d6+41)[48] ((1d20+25)[32]), (2d6+41)[44] ((1d20+25)[31]) Crit if target is not immune
Attack 1 - (1d20+50)[61], Arrows (CL checks): (2d6+41)[50] ((1d20+25)[34]), (2d6+41)[46] ((1d20+25)[41]), (2d6+41)[52] ((1d20+25)[45])
Attack 1 - (1d20+45)[50], Arrows (CL checks): (2d6+41)[46] ((1d20+25)[37]), (2d6+41)[46] ((1d20+25)[41]), (2d6+41)[44] ((1d20+25)[40])

Active effects/buffs: haste (+1 AC/attack bonus, 50% concealment, targeted spells have 50% spell failure chance vs Bernaise)

Off-turn: Bernaise threatens every square within 220ft of her, has infinite AoOs per round.
AoOs done with +62 attack, 2d6+51 force damage. Ignore the same things as the full attack above.

Enemies threatened by Bernaise provoke AoOs by attempting to cast defensively (Spellcasting Harrier), take +4 DC to cast defensively, and provoke AoOs upon failing to cast defensively (Disruptive, Spellbreaker). Enemies entering or leaving her threatened area via teleportation provoke an AoO, even when casting defensively or using a supernatural ability (Teleport Tactician).

If a threatened enemy does a 5ft step or withdraw, it provokes an AoO that does no damage, but prevents the move action and the target doesn't move.

[ICN]

Aven stands confidently under the barrage of attacks, not bothering to dodge and only getting more amped up with each one. By the end, he's clearly seriously wounded and laughing uproariously. This is fantastic. Back home, it'd been so rare for him to find a fight that could really push him to his limit. Here in the city, it often seemed to be the opposite, where he was so far outclassed that he had trouble even parsing what had happened when he woke up later. But this, this was perfect. He'd already been forced to dip into his reserves after the opening salvos, but he was, just barely, still standing. A proper challenge at last.

With a surge of magical energy from one of his spirits, Aven's wounds completely disappear. He roars "BRING IT ON!" and explodes into action. In a blur, he charges through the crowd, bowling them over and ending up next to one of the casks and grabbing it.

The cask Aven targets slips through his grasp. Reluctant to waste perfectly good booze by smashing it, he instead targets the big stool next.

Spoiler: Mechanics

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Aven gains 13 tension at the start of combat, and takes 637 damage all told, after DR and resistances. In particular, he heals from fire damage up to 42 points, increased to 54 points of healing after the purring aura, so the chandeliers mostly do nothing. Half of that is converted to nonlethal by Go Limp, so he's got 319 of lethal and nonlethal, which are healed simultaneously. He sticks 84 damage in his delayed damage pool to avoid going unconscious.

At the beginning of the turn, he heals 58 damage, then spends a spirit as a swift action to heal another 312. With the nonlethal effective doubling, he's back to full health. As a free action, he'll set one spirit to follow each member of the party, in case they need help later.

As a free action, he'll spend a spell point to gain three combat talents with Mystic Adaptation. And Stay Down to make creatures provoke for falling prone, Stampede so that creatures can't choose to avoid overrun maneuvers, and Underfoot Trample to make Overruns deal damage with the Hammer talent. He'll spend 3 tension to gain a +3 bonus to attack and damage rolls. Aven will expend his drunk status gained from pre-fight drinking to activate Reeling Steps, so any movement made doesn't provoke AoOs.

And now for the big flashy move. Aven will activate the Strength Runesinger movement rune from his Runic Vambraces, which can only be done once per minute. This allows him to move up to his speed, overrunning everything in his path as a free action. He counts as colossal for what he can overrun. Overrunning a target provokes AoOs from everyone besides Aven, and if it beats their CMD by 5 or more knocks them prone, which provokes from Aven, deals Hammer damage, and allows him to attempt a grapple as an AoO. He can force a grappled target into any space in his reach (35' when huge, though he only threatens 15' of it), and release it as a free action, which he'll use to clear an exit route for the rest of the party and move a few enemies that would otherwise be in his space at the end of the movement.

With his 260' fly speed, Aven can step on everybody in the cluster around the party, except for the big table and C13, 14, 9, and 10. He'll move C63, 12, 16, and big chair 6 to the other side of long table 2, to open a route for the party, then charge north to overrun I1, 2, the big stool, and casks 4 and 5, ending at square AB 25, moving anything that would overlap his space. Unlike the other grapples, he hangs onto cask 4 instead of releasing it.

Using a barfighter striker art, he'll spend 2 tension to attempt a grapple check to pin cask 4 as a free action, then use a swift action to use the Living Weapon slam talent to wield it as a weapon. If possible, he'll drink from the cask using Hard Drinker (free action due to barfighter striker capstone), otherwise he'll grab a drink from his person and chug that.

He'll use the cask to make an attack action against the big stool, rippling blow allows a dirty trick that he'll use martial focus on, follow-through gets a free reposition, Spell Sunder gets a sunder check if there are any spell effects on it, and improved atavism gives a free intimidate check, which doesn't bypass immunity or anything like that. At that point, he'll drop prone (taking no penalties), and with his off hand attack he'll try to trip S4, standing up and regaining martial focus if he succeeds.

I'll then consider what drove me to make a character that could take such a complicated turn in the first place.

Spoiler: Various Rolls

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Group Overrun roll (targets gain +2 to CMD per leg above 2): (1d20+104)[111]
Hammer damage: 2d6, +2d6 for every 5 the CMD is beaten by for medium creatures, 2d8 for large sized, 3d6 for everything else.
Group Grapple roll: (1d20+79)[83]
Group AoO roll (Aven has infinite AoOs): (1d20+61)[77]
Group AoO damage: (6d8+32)[57]

Pin check vs. Cask 4 (rolls twice because of striker art): (1d20+79)[89] (1d20+79)[99]
[S]
Attack roll vs. Big Stool: (1d20+60)[68] 73
Damage roll: (8d8+38)[76] 51
Reposition on Big Stool, Aven and stool take hammer damage on success:(1d20+104)[124]
Dirty trick vs. Big Stool (Dazes on success): (1d20+79)[98]
Intimidate vs. Big Stool: (1d20+61)[68]
Spell Sunder vs. Big Stool CMD +5: (1d20+80)[93]

Trip check vs. S4: (1d20+85)[101]
Trip AoO if trip succeeds: (1d20+61)[65]
Damage: (6d8+32)[69]

Aven will use his boring old fists for AoOs it turns out, +61 attack bonus, 6d8+32 damage, +6 enhancement bonus.

[AlexanderML]

Both of the Bark Tails were not pleased with having so many bits of furniture charge at the group so quickly, the idea of living furniture spooked them even as the minds beneath them were almost giggling with joy. Able to dodge the wild blows thrown at them as blurs of speed the pair suddenly leap to opposite corners of the room.

The time duplicate Bark Tails hanging off the wall looks towards the statue with worry, hissing at the thing as he throws with his tail three javelins of wood that explode into a torrent of acid that could consume a dragon in seconds. Not likely to be as effective against something made in the City, but he was there more to be a distraction.

The original takes a moment to breath in a deep breath into the dark depths of his body, letting a great deal of mana in his body bubble and roil madly as he carefully modified the effect to avoid harming his allies before unleashing it with an explosive sound can only be compared to volcano eruptions. A black wave of heated smoke and a hail of glowing red rocks smother the room. While normally this would set even stone ablaze Bark Tail and the mind beneath had little hope that this would set any foe in the City on fire.

Spoiler: Mechanics

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The duplicate Bark Tail is flying to AL 42 using his bonus move action.

Then with his swift, move, and standard actions cast three destruction blasts. The all are acid blasts that with Imbue With Nature ignores spell resistance and with Penetrating Blast ignores 60 Acid resistance (and treats immunity to acid as 40 resistance, so effectively bypasses it). All of these are maximized.

To Hit Rolls (touch attacks):
(1d20+62)[73]
(1d20+62)[72]
(1d20+62)[73]

Damage:
180 per hit, with each hit the Statue also takes an additional 30 points of acid damage the following round.

The original Bark Tail moves over to G14 with his bonus move action and casts the spellcrafted spell Volcano Breath using his swift action. This unleashes a 400ft cone that deals 120 points of fire and 120 points of slashing/piercing/bludgeoning damage to everyone that's not one of the party in the room (DC 55 reflex save for half). This effect also has Imbued with Nature and Penetrating Blast to ignore spell resistance and likely have the fire damage take full effect. The S/P/B damage does not count as magical.

Furthermore within 4000ft of Bark Tail when he casts the spell everything (besides the party) have to make a DC 55 reflex save or light on fire and take 54 points of fire damage (that does not gain the benefits of IwN or PB I believe).

Bark Tail finishes his turn by making a new stealth check with all the benefits had before with his standard action then moving to V14.

Stealth
[roll] 1d20+76[/roll]

[Bphill561]

Shadowscale looks around quite disappointed that the furniture is not being very respectful. Not only that, but his companions seem quite pleased with the situation. He quickly fills in his wounds with shadow glossamer and stretches out his wing sending out a wave of force.

Spoiler: Spoiler: Mechanics

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Swift Action-Casting a Quickened Shadow Heal Spell (Cantrip):
Concentration check [roll]1d20+42+20[/roll] vs DC 35
Heal 420 points of damage as the spell effect is uncapped.
Damage taken was 185 from 4 attacks that hit.

Standard Action-Casting a Shadow Wings of Flurry (Cantrip):
Concentration check [roll]1d20+42+20[/roll] vs DC 35
Damage 387 Force damage to all selected targets in range, Reflex DC 56 for half damage. Failing save also causes Daze for 1 Round
Overcomes Damage and Spell Resistance
30 ft radius from me, but the area is doubled. Not sure if that is 60 ft or real math with a radius of 42 feet.

Edit:
Rolls broke for some reason, see if this works
[roll]1d20+62[/roll]
[roll]1d20+62[/roll]

[Llyarden]

Nova giggles as the statue's drunken gaze falls on her. "Wow..." she murmurs, swaying in place (which looks very strange on a massive snake). "I've never been drunk before!"

The hail of attacks from the chairs seem to have little to no effect as the snake-woman sways and seems to dodge some of the attacks more by accident than anything else. One of the chairs smacks into her and then...just kinda doesn't drop back to the ground, as though being close to her exerts a stronger gravitational force than the real gravity - at least until Aven bulldozes past.

With a faint click and hiss, a half-dozen small whirling drones detach from her back and swoop across the tavern, thrumming with energy - and then they unleash radiant beams of blazing energy that coat almost the entire tavern in light for a few moments. As the light fades, it becomes apparent that her armour is reconfiguring itself, producing a cannon that fires a massive ball of fire and light towards the statue - which detonates perilously close to Aven.

"Ooh, Aven, Aven!" she beams. "Can I hit the statue with you soon? Pleeeeease?!"

Spoiler: OOC

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Nova launches some drones and uses them to fire a bunch of lasers that target everything except the Big Stool and some of the stuff that is probably dead from Shadowscale.
For convenience, rolling the attacks off-line because there's a silly number of them. 1-50 means she expends the 'scroll': (1d100)[80]
Then she fires at the Statue: (1d20+57)[74] vs touch.
Damage - (65d6+80)[321], which hits everything in an area around the targeted portion of the Statue. This includes Aven, but as long as she doesn't miss she excludes him from the attack.

And I...somehow discovered a new function of GitP's dice roller I didn't know about. Huh.

Anyway then she Challenges basically everything in the room.

[Llyarden]

Bernaise's hail of arrows once again strike true, dealing a slightly more significant amount of damage to the giant statue - although far more significant damage comes from the duplicate Bark Tail's hail of acid, which dissolves a good couple of layers of black paint off the back of the statue.

Aven charges through the angry furniture like a metaphorical bull in a china shop, smashing his way through the army of chairs - although, slick with the alcohol pouring from the holes in it, the cask he'd made a grab for manages to evade his grip, thudding back to the floor with force that would've caused an earthquake anywhere but the City.

And then in a blaze of shadow, fire and light, Nova, Shadowscale and Bark Tail wipe out the horde of chairs - or rather, wipe out whatever animating force had affected them, and the ravening horde of furniture becomes nothing more than a pile of furniture rather untidily strewn around the floor - it's perhaps noticeable that despite the massive blasts they suffered, none of the furniture seems to have taken any actual damage; clearly the items themselves are made of far sterner stuff than the force that had animated them.

The remaining still-animate furniture clearly take offence to their chair brethren being wiped out, though, because they begin to rampage.

The instruments, still playing a harmony that would shatter the minds of lesser creatures, try to fight their way through Nova's gravity field to strike at Aven, while the statue - perhaps believing that Aven was the source of the acid that had stripped its paint from it - lets out a deafening roar and brings both of its flippers down on the warrior with enough force to potentially slam him to the ground.

And apparently the casks of alcohol take a hint from it. The blazing fire has ignited the alcohol contained within, but it doesn't particularly seem to be bothering most of them (although two of the casks themselves are also on fire and...well, they can't exactly drop and they don't stop, but they at least attempt to roll the fire out), and they charge at Aven, trying to basically just flatten him like steamrollers, burning alcohol like lava dripping wherever they go.

Meanwhile, the burning tables try to extinguish themselves, while two of the non-burning tables try to smack Nova's drones back at her like they're uppity flies, and one of them near the corner of the room clambers on top of one of the longer tables, which creaks with the effort but manages to launch the table towards Nova.

And then, in a clatter and crash, a whirling mass of plates, bowls and cutlery comes hurtling out of the door next to Bark Tail.

Spoiler: OOC

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Spoiler: PC Resolution

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Bernaise hits the Statue with 2 attacks, but it is indeed immune to crits.

Aven overruns everything. The casks and the flute can't be knocked prone, but he successfully grapples the chairs, big chairs, stools, tables, and the harp, and successfully hits the chairs, big chairs, stools, tables and harp. The Big Stool is not grappled or hit by the AoO.
Aven then successfully hits, repositions, dazes and intimidates the Big Stool, and Spell Sunders it causing it to return to Large size.
And finally he successfully trips and hits Stool 4.

Bark Tail 2 hits the Statue with all three blasts.

Bark Tail 1 finishes off most of the Chairs and Stools, takes out a chandelier, and lights the world on fire.

Shadowscale wipes out the remaining chairs, the two nearby tables, and the two nearby chandeliers, and dazes the Big Table.

Nova takes out a bunch more chandeliers with the lasers and two tables and two chandeliers with the rocket.

The grey areas on the map are the now-inanimate furniture. They count as difficult terrain (even for massive creatures like Aven and Nova, although admittedly Nova can fly so it doesn't really apply to her.)

Instruments
Harp, Drums and Piano all take fire damage.
The Harp will try to smack Aven because he's already next to it, taking 20 damage from Nova's Punishing Challenge. The Piano moves closer (provoking from Bernaise) and hits Aven with its bardic performance (which is neither an attack roll nor a spell, so Punishing Challenge doesn't apply). The Flute and Drums will attempt to close with Aven but have to make Will saves against Nova's Inescapable Challenge to do so. If they succeed they provoke from Bernaise and will then try to hit Aven, taking 20 damage from Punishing Challenge.
Harp (+4 atk/dam for Inspire Courage, -7 atk for Challenge): (1d20+47)[52] to hit for (1d6+19)[20] damage.
Flute (+4 atk/dam for Inspire Courage, -7 atk for Challenge): Will DC44 (1d20+40)[44]; (1d20+47)[48] to hit for (1d6+19)[20] damage.
Drums (+4 atk/dam for Inspire Courage, -7 atk for Challenge): Will DC44 (1d20+40)[53]; (1d20+47)[61] to hit for (1d6+19)[21] damage.
Piano: (20d6+20)[95] sonic damage, halved on a DC55 Fort save.

Spoiler: Bernaise's attacks

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Harp: (1d20+62)[72] for (2d6+51)[55]
Drums: (1d20+62)[76] for (2d6+51)[57]
Piano: (1d20+62)[76] for (2d6+51)[55]

During Aven's turn, he will need to save against the two Bardic Performances again, although the DCs are now only 48 due to Nova's Challenge.

Statue
Punches Aven a couple times, taking 20 damage each time from Punishing Challenge. If both hit it has a Rend attack.
Atk 1 (+4 atk/dam for Inspire Courage, -7 atk for Challenge): (1d20+67)[75] to hit for (10d6+79)[121] damage (bludgeoning, magic, adamantine, epic) plus (1d20+77)[86] vs CMD to trip on a hit.
Atk 2 (+4 atk/dam for Inspire Courage, -7 atk for Challenge):(1d20+67)[75] to hit for (10d6+79)[120] damage (bludgeoning, magic, adamantine, epic) plus (1d20+77)[87] vs CMD to trip.
(10d6+75)[105] rend damage (bludgeoning, magic, adamantine, epic).

Chandeliers
Chandelier 11 burns, but heals from fire damage.
Since they don't really want to take any more damage, Chandeliers 1 and 7 will fire at Nova once again. Chandelier 11 will fire at Aven and take 20 damage for doing so.

Spoiler: Vs Nova

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Chandelier 1 (+4 atk/dam for Inspire Courage, +2 atk for Challenge): (1d20+56)[76] to hit, (20d6+30)[94] (half fire, half magic epic bludgeoning) plus Persistent Prismatic Spray (DC50): (1d8)[4]
Chandelier 7 (+4 atk/dam for Inspire Courage, +2 atk for Challenge): (1d20+56)[74] to hit, (20d6+30)[98] (half fire, half magic epic bludgeoning) plus Persistent Prismatic Spray (DC50): (1d8)[4]

Spoiler: Vs Aven

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Chandelier 1 (+4 atk/dam for Inspire Courage, -7 atk for Challenge): (1d20+47)[66] to hit, (20d6+30)[104] (half fire, half magic epic bludgeoning) plus Persistent Prismatic Spray (DC43 after Cold Iron Call): (1d8)[8] Green (poison) and Violet (planeshift)

Big Stool
Dazed, and burns to death.

Tables
Big Table is Dazed and burns to death. Tables 1, 3, 7 and 10, and Long Table 2, burn and then try to put themselves out.

Spoiler: Reflex Saves (DC55?)

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Table 1: (1d20+45)[55]
Table 3: (1d20+45)[52]
Table 7: (1d20+45)[46]
Table 10: (1d20+45)[47]
Long Table 2: (1d20+43)[44]

Tables 2 and 8 try to hurl Nova's Drones at her, requiring first a CMB check (which does still apply Punishing Challenge) and then an attack roll.

Spoiler: Attacks

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Table 2 CMB (+4 for Inspire Courage, -7 for Challenge): (1d20+37)[38], Attack (+4 for Inspire Courage, +2 for Challenge): (1d20+66)[85], Damage (+4 for Inspire Courage): (2d6+40)[44]
Table 8 CMB (+4 for Inspire Courage, -7 for Challenge): (1d20+37)[55], Attack (+4 for Inspire Courage, +2 for Challenge): (1d20+66)[84], Damage (+4 for Inspire Courage): (2d6+40)[44]

Table 9 tries to move adjacent to Aven (provoking from Bernaise if it succeeds) and then tries to punch him if it succeeds.

Spoiler: Rolls

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Will (DC44): (1d20+40)[53]
Bernaise AoO: (1d20+62)[63], (2d6+51)[58]
Table Attack (+4 atk/dmg from Inspire Courage, -7 atk for Challenge): (1d20+47)[52] to hit for (1d6+19)[24] damage.

Table 6 tries to punch Aven, taking 20 damage from Punishing Challenge: Attack (+4 atk/dmg from Inspire Courage, -7 atk for Challenge): (1d20+47)[56] to hit for (1d6+19)[24] damage.
Long Table 1 moves down (provoking from Bernaise) and hurls Table 1 at Nova.

Spoiler: Rolls

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Bernaise AoO: (1d20+62)[73] for (2d6+51)[57]
Table Attack (-5 circumstance, +4 for Inspire Courage, +2 for Challenge): (1d20+61)[62], Damage (+4 for Inspire Courage): (5d6+64)[88]

Casks
Since all the Casks took sufficient fire damage in their last round, they Ignite.
Cask 1 and Cask 5 burn and use their actions to try to put themselves out, but still use their free actions to spray alcohol - Cask 1 targets Aven twice (which only deals fire damage as he isn't subject to the spell within the alcohol), Cask 5 unleashes a cone that hits Aven and the Statue twice, so he needs to make 2 DC60 Will saves; if he fails he's Stunned one round and Staggered 19 rounds; if he succeeds both he's just Staggered 1 round. He also needs to make 2 DC60 Reflex saves to halve the fire damage from the burning alcohol.

Spoiler: Rolls

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Cask 1 touch attack vs Aven #1 (+4 for Inspire Courage, -7 for Challenge): (1d20+47)[51] for (10d6)[26] fire damage.
Cask 1 touch attack vs Aven #2 (+4 for Inspire Courage, -7 for Challenge): (1d20+47)[53] for (10d6)[39] fire damage.
Cask 5 Fire Damage #1: (10d6)[29]
Cask 5 Fire Damage #2: (10d6)[37]
Statue is immune to emotion effects, but still needs to roll the Reflex saves...
Statue Reflex 1: (1d20+45)[48]
Statue Reflex 2: (1d20+45)[48]

Cask 1 Reflex to extinguish: (1d20+45)[48]
Cask 5 Reflex to extinguish: (1d20+45)[46]

Casks 2, 3 and 4 attempt to Overrun Aven (they count as Colossal). If the Overrun succeeds he also takes fire damage, and if he falls prone they get AoOs against him. They do not provoke for moving while attempting to overrun, but they do take Punishing Challenge damage.

Spoiler: Rolls

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Cask 2 CMB (+4 for Inspire Courage, -7 for Challenge): (1d20+67)[87]; Fire damage on a success: (10d6)[38]; AoO if Aven is knocked prone (+4 for Inspire Courage, -7 for Challenge): (1d20+62)[77] to hit for (8d6+20)[44] damage. Natural 20 on the CMB for an effective 92.

Cask 3 CMB (+4 for Inspire Courage, -7 for Challenge): (1d20+67)[72]; Fire damage on a success: (10d6)[41]; AoO if Aven is knocked prone (+4 for Inspire Courage, -7 for Challenge): (1d20+62)[77] to hit for (8d6+20)[60] damage.

Cask 4 CMB (+4 for Inspire Courage, -7 for Challenge): (1d20+67)[81]; Fire damage on a success: (10d6)[32]; AoO if Aven is knocked prone (+4 for Inspire Courage, -7 for Challenge): (1d20+62)[72] to hit for (8d6+20)[43] damage.

Cask 4 will use a free action to spray alcohol on the Statue, dealing some fire damage to it: (10d6)[29]

Cutlery Swarms & Crockery Swarm
They arrive, provoking from Bernaise, but as swarms of Diminutive creatures the Cutlery Swarms are immune to weapon damage.
Bernaise AoO vs Crockery Swarm: (1d20+62)[78]; Damage (halved due to swarm): (2d6+51)[56]

[Ridai]

The air is filled with kaleidoscopic light at all times, Bernaise firing faster than even makes sense without looking hurried at all, making even less sense. She is just having a grand time, with Nova adding yet more light and spectacle. She is feeling a bit lightheaded, but that only further encourages her to counteract this fever, as the only cure is clearly more arrows!

Spoiler: Actions

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Full Attack Attack the statue with Perfect Manyshot, Rapid Shot and the extra attack via haste. Three arrows hit per successful attack. Attack ignores concealment, all cover except full, etherealness. Every arrow is also a targeted CL 25 dispel magic. Every arrow does force damage. Bernaise's attacks do not provoke AoOs. Crit profile 19-20/x4, auto-confirm.
Attack 1 - (1d20+56)[73], Arrows (CL checks): (2d6+41)[47] ((1d20+25)[43]), (2d6+41)[50] ((1d20+25)[32]), (2d6+41)[52] ((1d20+25)[27])
Attack 2 - (1d20+56)[61], Arrows (CL checks): (2d6+41)[48] ((1d20+25)[32]), (2d6+41)[49] ((1d20+25)[35]), (2d6+41)[51] ((1d20+25)[33])
Attack 3 - (1d20+56)[59], Arrows (CL checks): (2d6+41)[44] ((1d20+25)[37]), (2d6+41)[49] ((1d20+25)[44]), (2d6+41)[44] ((1d20+25)[28])
Attack 4 - (1d20+56)[69], Arrows (CL checks): (2d6+41)[49] ((1d20+25)[32]), (2d6+41)[52] ((1d20+25)[45]), (2d6+41)[48] ((1d20+25)[39])
Attack 5 - (1d20+46)[51], Arrows (CL checks): (2d6+41)[43] ((1d20+25)[43]), (2d6+41)[45] ((1d20+25)[29]), (2d6+41)[53] ((1d20+25)[40])
Attack 6 - (1d20+41)[47], Arrows (CL checks): (2d6+41)[48] ((1d20+25)[31]), (2d6+41)[51] ((1d20+25)[36]), (2d6+41)[46] ((1d20+25)[38])

Active effects/buffs: haste (+1 AC/attack bonus, 50% concealment, targeted spells have 50% spell failure chance vs Bernaise), sickened from statue's Drunken Gaze

Off-turn: Bernaise threatens every square within 220ft of her, has infinite AoOs per round.
AoOs done with +60 attack, 2d6+51 force damage. Ignore the same things as the full attack above.

Enemies threatened by Bernaise provoke AoOs by attempting to cast defensively (Spellcasting Harrier), take +4 DC to cast defensively, and provoke AoOs upon failing to cast defensively (Disruptive, Spellbreaker). Enemies entering or leaving her threatened area via teleportation provoke an AoO, even when casting defensively or using a supernatural ability (Teleport Tactician).

If a threatened enemy does a 5ft step or withdraw, it provokes an AoO that does no damage, but prevents the move action and the target doesn't move.

[Bphill561]

Shadowscale eyes up the offending Table directly in front of him and advances on it with claws raised...

Spoiler: Attack

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It seems the furniture has completed round two.

5 Foot step up to Table 1 and then full Attack unarmed strikes (+Eldritch Claw).

Attack 1 (1d20+54)[67]
Damage (15d6+20)[79]

Attack 2 (1d20+54)[73]
Damage (15d6+20)[62]

Attack 3 (1d20+49)[67]
Damage (15d6+20)[70]

Attack 4 (1d20+44)[61]
Damage (15d6+20)[64]

Attack 5 (1d20+39)[47]
Damage (15d6+20)[74]

Each Hit gives -1 to saving Throws for the until the next turn on that Table.

Quickend Spell Wings of Flurry

Range is 60 for me. I can center in the square diagonal to Aven bottom Left. Hits all targets in its 42 or 60 foot radius of my choosing (again depending if proper math of doubling area would go from 30 to 42 feet radius, instead of 30 to 60).

Forgot this last time, targets have to roll Dex save twice and take the lesser result (Spell Supremacy Feat). DC Reflex 56 for half. Failed save results in being Dazed.

Defensive Spell casting if needed: Concentration check (1d20+62)[64] vs DC 35
Damage: 387 Force

[ICN]

Aven gets pretty roughed up by all the attacks, until the casks unleash a soothing deluge of fire over him. He looks at them in confusion for a moment, before he puts it together with their attempts to overrun him and the way their insides were on fire. It seems he had some new fans. "I get it, little casks, I'm a lot of people's hero. Your imitation is flattering; you even got the flaming blood right!" He blurs into a flurry of attacks against the big statue. "And those shoving attempts were very good for a first time. You just don't quiiiite have the leverage right. Do it more like this." He demonstrates by reaching out and smashing a cask into a table, showcasing the proper technique for efficient applied force.

Hearing Nova's outburst, Aven's eyes light up. That little voice in his head that sometimes warned him off doing stuff, which sounded an awful lot like Meilin, was easier to ignore than ever. "Yeah! Let's do it, Nova! Whenever you're ready!"

Spoiler: Mechanics

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As an immediate action, Aven will spend 2 tension to ignore the staggered condition for 13 rounds, and 3 tension to gain +3 to hit and damage for the round. He heals from fire damage, so he got a lot of mileage from the casks dousing him. He's got 148 damage that's sticking around; the rest was healed. None of the combat maneuvers against him succeeded, though the trip from the big statue was only off by 1. Also, quick side note for Llyarden, you don't need to roll standard attack rolls for Aven if you want to save yourself the trouble. He doesn't dodge them, and is immune to critical hits, so standard damage is all that applies.

He'll expend his drunk status to avoid provoking AoOs, then move down 20 ft. as a free action with swift movement to AA 30, picking up the remains of the big stool along the way. With his off-hand attack, he'll attempt to trip I3.

His attack action goes against the big statue, triggering Spell Sunder, Rippling Blow (spent on a Dirty Trick), Follow-Through for a reposition, a couple trip attempts, and another attack from breaking the big stool. He'll use a striker art to spend 2 tension to make another dirty trick as a free action against the big statue.

Finally, he'll, use Quick Force to make a reposition maneuver against Cask 5, Perpetual motion to make another, and the Brute specialization to attempt a grapple after each of those. He's got 35 ft. of reach (though he only threatens 15 ft.), so he can still reach them. He's repositioning Cask 5 into Table 7, so they both take Hammer damage. At that point he drinks, either from Cask 5 if it worked this time (he can drink anything and get drunk, so the flames aren't a big problem), or from one of his other drinks to regain the drunk status.

Spoiler: rolls

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Off-hand trip against I3: (1d20+85)[104]
AoO if it succeeds: (1d20+60)[65]
Damage: (8d8+38)[76]

Attack against Big Statue: (1d20+60)[70]
Damage: (8d8+38)[67]
Improvised Martial Arts attack: (1d20+61)[77]
Damage: (6d8+32)[52]
Reposition attempt: (1d20+104)[116]
Hammer damage on Aven and big statue is 3d8, + 3d8 for every 5 he beats the CMD by.
Spell Sunder: (1d20+80)[93]
Trip attempt from Brute conscript specialization: (1d20+85)[101]
Trip attempt from Improved Atavism (Animal): (1d20+85)[105]
AoO if either of those succeed: (1d20+60)[71]
Damage: (8d8+38)[61]
Dirty Trick empowered by martial focus, dazes on success: (1d20+79)[82]
Dirty Trick from striker art, blinds on success: (1d20+79)[89]

Reposition Cask 5 into Table 7 1: (1d20+104)[116]
2: (1d20+104)[122]
Hammer damage: Both take 2d8, +2d8 for every 5 Aven beats Cask 5's CMD by.
Grapple check Cask 5: (1d20+79)[91]
Pin Check: (1d20+79)[92]