Girl Genius XXXII: The scientific method at work!

[Rodin]

I've been living in the UK for the past 6 years, and my biggest complaint is actually variety. If I go online to order delivery, the selection will be 15 pizza/doner takeaways with identical menus and nearly identical quality (usually not very good). The high street of my town has half a dozen cafes which all serve the same sandwich/panini/jacket potato menu. The supermarket contains 15 types of breakfast sausage but has no smoked German or French sausage that I can use for Cajun recipes. Alfredo sauce is so difficult to come by that I make it myself. Etc, etc.

High end British cooking is excellent, as is the stuff the country is famous for (why America has never figured out the steak pie is beyond me). It's just that getting stuff other than that is very difficult unless you live in a city.

[Mordar]

High end British cooking is excellent, as is the stuff the country is famous for (why America has never figured out the steak pie is beyond me). It's just that getting stuff other than that is very difficult unless you live in a city.

Totally had to check and make sure this was the correct thread. UK vs American vs [insert other cuisine here]? I thought this was the #1299 thread for a moment!

But why would you put good steak in a pot pie? And if it isn't good steak, why wouldn't you just make tacos out of it?!? Chicken and turkey make sense in pies. Pork probably too, but see comment re: tacos.

- M

[Anonymouswizard]

I've been living in the UK for the past 6 years, and my biggest complaint is actually variety. If I go online to order delivery, the selection will be 15 pizza/doner takeaways with identical menus and nearly identical quality (usually not very good).

I mean, if you want a decent takeaway you get Chinese, and Indian if you want something great. A chippy is where you go if you want comfort food.

Skipping the cafes because yeah, you're spot on.

The supermarket contains 15 types of breakfast sausage but has no smoked German or French sausage that I can use for Cajun recipes. Alfredo sauce is so difficult to come by that I make it myself. Etc, etc.

It's a different kind of variety. Those sausages aren't just for breakfast, they're great in a casserole or with mash and gravy, there will be a great selection of cheeses, and it's so much easier to get a variety of good bread here (supermarket bakery stuff is fine, a proper bakery is even better).

It's just that nobody here knows Cajun cuisine or uses Alfredo sauce, so you'll have to find specialty shops.

High end British cooking is excellent, as is the stuff the country is famous for (why America has never figured out the steak pie is beyond me). It's just that getting stuff other than that is very difficult unless you live in a city.

You must have a local chippy, even if you live up the top of a mountain.

The real shame is every pub morphing into a gastro pub. I need somewhere to get my bangers and mash!

Also it's not like America doesn't have a similar problem, finding decent bread, sausages, or bacon is a nightmare. Although by far my biggest complaint is the baffling lack of a counterpart to WHSmiths (as I found when waiting for a flight and searching for a bottle of water and a book).

But why would you put good steak in a pot pie? And if it isn't good steak, why wouldn't you just make tacos out of it?!? Chicken and turkey make sense in pies. Pork probably too, but see comment re: tacos.

Over here tough steak is stewed, and a pie is a stew with thick gravy and a pastry crust. A properly done meat pie, especially steak and kidney, is pure comfort food. It takes a minimum of three hours to stew good tough steak, but the results are very much work it.

Also you can slap one in a bap and it becomes even better, just ask the inhabitants of Wigan.

Tacos are not a thing here, especially because hard taco shells are horrible. Soft tacos are fine, but people here would rather use tortillas to make wraps.

[Shining Wrath]

Setting aside cuisine wars for a moment, what are the odds that one of these delicacies has been poisoned?

[geoduck]

Setting aside cuisine wars for a moment, what are the odds that one of these delicacies has been poisoned?

Low but not impossible.

[Rodin]

You must have a local chippy, even if you live up the top of a mountain.

I should clarify - I consider chippys and pie makers to BE high-end British cuisine. I live near the coast, the fish and chips you get here are AMAZING. You can keep your $40 steak, give me a big box of haddock and chips any day. And steak pies ae God's own creation.

Chinese and Indian being the only ethnic food available is kinda what I meant - the standard of Chinese is terrible, and while I love a good curry as much as the next man it's frustrating to have 4 curry places in my town and nowhere that does Greek/Lebanese, Mexican, Thai, BBQ, Burgers (outside of fast food, and even there I have to drive 20 minutes to McDonalds), and forget about any kind of Central/South American food. There's one decent Italian place where I'm used to having half a dozen. Etc, etc.

And yeah, the US does have some of the same problems. Both Texas and Louisiana had big gaps in Indian and Japanese food. I suspect it's true everywhere in the world to some extent. But I have definitely found it harder to find the types of food I crave where I live now then when I was in Louisiana and Texas, and the base standard of restaurant is definitely lower. You can find good places, but you have to be pickier and roam further.

I will definitely agree that for baking (to meander vaguely back in the direction of the comic) the UK beats the pants off America. Especially shortbread.

[Anonymouswizard]

Setting aside cuisine wars for a moment, what are the odds that one of these delicacies has been poisoned?

How dare you. Wine yes, but no self respecting Englishman would poison biscuits!

I should clarify - I consider chippys and pie makers to BE high-end British cuisine. I live near the coast, the fish and chips you get here are AMAZING. You can keep your $40 steak, give me a big box of haddock and chips any day. And steak pies ae God's own creation.

To be fair I've never lived by the coast, it's quite a bit less fresh inland. There's also a bit of a reputation to them, particularly if you're not getting fish, in that the food is not high quality but damn if it isn't good.

Also there was a big controversy when northern chippies stopped serving Holland's Meat Pies. Those were a way of life.

Nobody beats England for pies, although Russia comes close.

Chinese and Indian being the only ethnic food available is kinda what I meant - the standard of Chinese is terrible, and while I love a good curry as much as the next man it's frustrating to have 4 curry places in my town and nowhere that does Greek/Lebanese, Mexican, Thai, BBQ, Burgers (outside of fast food, and even there I have to drive 20 minutes to McDonalds), and forget about any kind of Central/South American food. There's one decent Italian place where I'm used to having half a dozen. Etc, etc.

Oh yeah, outside big cities it's basically 'did anybody immigrate and start selling their native cuisine'. I grew up not too far (~30 minutes drive) from a pub that hosted a Thai restaurant, but that's pretty rare.

With Chinese cuisine the best thing to do is find a dim sum or hotpot place, but that's probably impossible outside of a city.

And yeah, the US does have some of the same problems. Both Texas and Louisiana had big gaps in Indian and Japanese food. I suspect it's true everywhere in the world to some extent. But I have definitely found it harder to find the types of food I crave where I live now then when I was in Louisiana and Texas, and the base standard of restaurant is definitely lower. You can find good places, but you have to be pickier and roam further.

We all crave what we're used to, whenever I'm in America I tend to start gagging for a decent sweetie (thankfully I've got family who bake their own bread). As to the restaurants, that's certainly true but I believe it's because eating out is somewhat less common over here.

I will definitely agree that for baking (to meander vaguely back in the direction of the comic) the UK beats the pants off America. Especially shortbread.

Dammit now I want shortbread.

[Manga Shoggoth]

I should clarify - I consider chippys and pie makers to BE high-end British cuisine. I live near the coast, the fish and chips you get here are AMAZING. You can keep your $40 steak, give me a big box of haddock and chips any day. And steak pies ae God's own creation.

Chinese and Indian being the only ethnic food available is kinda what I meant - the standard of Chinese is terrible, and while I love a good curry as much as the next man it's frustrating to have 4 curry places in my town and nowhere that does Greek/Lebanese, Mexican, Thai, BBQ, Burgers (outside of fast food, and even there I have to drive 20 minutes to McDonalds), and forget about any kind of Central/South American food. There's one decent Italian place where I'm used to having half a dozen. Etc, etc.

We have a good chippie/kebab/burger place just round the corner - not the best in the area, but does as solid a job as you can when you can't get really fresh fish (as in, cold off the trawler).

Just up the line of shops is a Chinese takeaway... I have a simple test for a Chinese takeaway, which I call the Sweet and Sour Pork test. Order the aforementioned item with plain boiled rice (which is one of the most basic menu items). If that isn't up to snuff, then nothing else will be. The takeaway failed it miserably.

[HeeJay]

Girl Genius XXXIII: "It's absolutely not my fault - but everybody's got to run! Now!"

Might be too long?

[PraetorDragoon]

Girl Genius XXXIII: "It's absolutely not my fault - but everybody's got to run! Now!"

Might be too long?

Well, "It's absolutely not my fault" and "Everybody's got to run! Now!" are both nice titles.

Bang and Zeetha being friends always makes for fun scenes.

I do wonder what they have to run from. It can either be stupid idiots, cake that fights back, or a Jaeger party getting out of hand.

[TeChameleon]

If whatever is causing the need for running is any more intelligent than, say, a houseplant, it's going to regret attempting to menace a party that contained a bored Zeetha and Bang.

[Shining Wrath]

If whatever is causing the need for running is any more intelligent than, say, a houseplant, it's going to regret attempting to menace a party that contained a bored Zeetha and Bang.

Plus The Heterodyne, in Mechanicsburg, which means the Jagers will be on the scene post haste. Plus at least three Sparks (Agatha, Collette, and Trelawny). And while we've never seen Seffie fight, she's alive while being a member of the Sturmvarous family, therefore, she can fight at least a little. Probably at least as well as Grandma, who casually disarmed Zola and crushed her weapon with one hand. And Violetta we know is a now a top-rank Smoke Knight.

Agatha, you will note, seems imperturbable in the face of shrieking minions. She believes the situation is under control.

[Radar]

Agatha, you will note, seems imperturbable in the face of shrieking minions. She believes the situation is under control.

Or got used to things never being fully under control.

[Manga Shoggoth]

Girl Genius XXXIII: "It's absolutely not my fault - but everybody's got to run! Now!"

Might be too long?

Noted. We can always save a few characters by dropping the Roman Numerals and falling back to the ol' Arabic.

[PraetorDragoon]

If whatever is causing the need for running is any more intelligent than, say, a houseplant, it's going to regret attempting to menace a party that contained a bored Zeetha and Bang.

So, a Spark?

[Kardwill]

Setting aside cuisine wars for a moment, what are the odds that one of these delicacies has been poisoned?

Slipping poison to the Heterodyne under Violetta's watch? (and whatever security Colette has for this kind of things)? Really unlikely.

Especially since that poison would have to be carried by Seffie or the Spark of the Realm, making them either dupes or the culprit. I REALLY don't see them in either role.

The only wildcard is Duprée's rum, but
a - DuPrée does not do poison
b - Again Violetta is here, right next to that bottle.
c - Who would be stupid enough to poison DuPrée's hooch?

[geoduck]

c - Who would be stupid enough to poison DuPrée's hooch?

When dealing with Sparks, never assume that someone won't be stupid/crazy/arrogant enough to do something.

But yeah, it was unlikely, and it appears the Inevitable Plot Complication is coming from a different direction.

[Agi Hammerthief]

… while we've never seen Seffie fight, she's alive while being a member of the Sturmvarous family, therefore, she can fight at least a little…

I strongly suspect she doesn’t fight at all:
she’ll „not be“ where stabby things aimed at her are going to be.
and she’ll show up behind whoever needs a knife in their kidneys.

[Shining Wrath]

I strongly suspect she doesn’t fight at all:
she’ll „not be“ where stabby things aimed at her are going to be.
and she’ll show up behind whoever needs a knife in their kidneys.

And every single member of the family has been shown to have at least some skill along those lines, so, I repeat, she has to be able to fight at least a little. When everyone in the family is at least a little sneaky, you need to be able to fight for those moments when sneaky fails. Even if she rarely needs to fight, she'd be a damn fool to not learn how.

[Devlerbat]

Slipping poison to the Heterodyne under Violetta's watch? (and whatever security Colette has for this kind of things)? Really unlikely.

Not if a Smoke Knight did it. Maybe still not super likely since I do believe Violetta is better than she gives herself credit for, but I am still fairly certain she isn't the best Smoke Knight in the world.

[Kardwill]

And every single member of the family has been shown to have at least some skill along those lines, so, I repeat, she has to be able to fight at least a little. When everyone in the family is at least a little sneaky, you need to be able to fight for those moments when sneaky fails. Even if she rarely needs to fight, she'd be a damn fool to not learn how.

Martellus and Tarvek have impressive combat/ninja abilities, but many of the family members we saw were more of the "scheming and relying on their pawns/knights to do the actual wetwork" types. Many ended up dead, of course, but mostly because they went up against Martellus in open warfare, which is an outlier.

Seffie might surprise us, but I think her primary defense option is avoiding being a target. She's not really taking sides in her family's feud and tries to be friend (or at least, not enemy) with most powerful people she interacts with. And she has a VERY scary smoke knight when somebody needs killin'
Not to say she's a defenseless kitten, she's probably dangerous if you underestimate her. But she looks more like a diplomat than like a fighter.

After all, many people that knew Tarvek thought he was a useless wimp until he started using his Smoke Knight proficiencies, so "not a class S ninja, but has good bodyguards" may be a survivable option in the family as long as you avoid painting a target on your face.

Not if a Smoke Knight did it. Maybe still not super likely since I do believe Violetta is better than she gives herself credit for, but I am still fairly certain she isn't the best Smoke Knight in the world.

Not the best, but we do know poisons are a discipline she's good at (well, better than Tarvek, anyway), and she's really paranoid about it. So yeah, poisoning that particular party with Violetta on watch would need someone both really skilled AND really stupid.

... OK, I concede skilled+stupid is a common combo in this comic, especially when talking about Violetta's family and colleagues ^^

[Radar]

And every single member of the family has been shown to have at least some skill along those lines, so, I repeat, she has to be able to fight at least a little. When everyone in the family is at least a little sneaky, you need to be able to fight for those moments when sneaky fails. Even if she rarely needs to fight, she'd be a damn fool to not learn how.

As von Zinzer has summed it up: "I don't have any 'secret knowledge'. I just don't want to die."

[Shining Wrath]

As von Zinzer has summed it up: "I don't have any 'secret knowledge'. I just don't want to die."

Which was identified as part of the Yellow Codex. He's a Smoke Knight and doesn't know it.

[Rockphed]

Thread title: Girl Genius XXXIII: The Monsters Here Are Citizens
Girl Genius XXXIII: Always Finding Something
Girl Genius XXXIII: Not Those Things Again
Girl Genius XXXIII: Aaaa! Run!

Regarding Von Zinzer, he is much too sensible to be a smoke knight. He doesn't solve problems by killing things (unless they need killing) or poison (on purpose at least), but by the consistent application of mechanics and hard work.

[Kardwill]

And he manages to consistently stay alive. Smoke Knights tend to die. A lot.
That super-secret-ninja-order sure has a lot of troops to throw into the grinder, doesn't it?

[Shining Wrath]

And he manages to consistently stay alive. Smoke Knights tend to die. A lot.
That super-secret-ninja-order sure has a lot of troops to throw into the grinder, doesn't it?

Anyone working for Martellus, Smoke Knight or Knight of the Hunt, is cannon fodder. Perhaps other members of the family are little more careful about their minions.

[Manga Shoggoth]

Thread title: Girl Genius XXXIII: The Monsters Here Are Citizens
Girl Genius XXXIII: Always Finding Something
Girl Genius XXXIII: Not Those Things Again
Girl Genius XXXIII: Aaaa! Run!

All noted.

And, let's see... Oh yes. It's now very bad. They have Dreen.

[Agi Hammerthief]

All noted.

And, let's see... Oh yes. It's now very bad. They have Dreen.

it’s so bad, they stuck around when they showed up last time.

let’s try something new and revolutionary: talk to them.

[Kantaki]

Okay, with so many allied big players in one place something is going to go very wrong.

And. There. We. Go.
Well, maybe not, but I think those Dreen might not be there to help.
They worked for Klaus because he did something for them, some time in his future.
Well, "opening a rift to somewhere outside time (and space) certainly fits the bill.
Are we sure they want Mechanicsburg saved?

[Grim Portent]

I think the Dreen are enemies of the big time rift creature. Whether that creature is actually an enemy of our protagonists or not is yet to be seen, but that the Dreen are in conflict with it seems quite likely as a story beat.

I get the impression that the dreen are either some sort of time police, keeping reality from falling apart by steering people towards things that mend temporal rifts like the one in Mechanicsburg or that they are some kind of interdimensional parasite that shows up when time starts to fray but doesn't necessarily want other things to come after them. The Vozzler says they only show up for bad situations involving time, but whether that means they come because time is messed up or that they are able to come because time is messed up isn't specified.

We'll probably find out a bit more about them in the next few pages, this feels like it's going to be at least a bit expositiony.