Strange dungeon

[Cygnia]

HEY!!! PUT ME DOWN!!! Ooooh, wait, ooh, dat's nice...OK, hoomin, I let you live a little bit longer... Mystery purred in satisfaction, deigning to accept Faith's administrations. Besides, at this height, She had a purrfect line of sight to blast these insolence guards with HER SHEER AWESOME POWER~!!!!

...providing Her hoomin took a few more steps forward. Fire was too dangerous and might damage Her Stuff, but She had another tool in Her Arsenal.

[Alhallor]

"I'll get the traitor, you take down the talker!"

The giant guard doesn't even move, just extends his massive hands to clobber the other guard, who falls down with one hit, the smell of ozone fills the air.

The two other guards rush at Faith, brandishing they're clubs, but one does get stung heavily by a swarm of bees.

Spoiler: Gina

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Roll the bees damage.

Spoiler: Attack against Faith

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Attack 1: (1d20+5)[14]
Damage 1: (1d6+1)[4] and (3d6)[10] DC 13 Fort save for half, all damage is subdual.

Attack 2: (1d20+5)[10]
Damage 2: (1d6+1)[5] and (3d6)[15] DC 13 Fort save for half, all damage is subdual.

-------------------Xyrona------------------

Asfaloth doesn't seem hurt at all, though perhaps a did agitated because of the other weird horse and the time it was separated from you. The other horse answers by filling your head with perfectly understandable words.

Oh, I didn't wanted to be dispespectful good sir, I was just showing Asfaloth the sights, as would any good crop-partner, really. I didn't had any untoward thoughts or ambitions, no sir.

Spoiler: Map

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First battle!

[Cygnia]

Ah, purrfect...Teh Stoopids come closer to Me. Ideally, the Big Stoopid with the Electric Thwomper would have been nice to get into range as well, but Mystery could make do with this. Mystery's mouth opened into what appeared to be a biiiiiiiiiiiiig

*!!!YAWN!!!*

And a cloud of a strange gas enveloped the two lesser thugs, who suddenly found themselves weakened! Surprisingly enough, Faith seemed unaffected.

Spoiler: Action

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DragonKitteh Breath Weapon (DC 19 Fort for half duration for weaken, -6 Str penalty for 4 rounds, 2 rounds if Fort save is successful. 15ft cloud)
(1d20+4)[18] Initiative if/when needed

[Metastachydium]

As one of the guards punches out another, Brakq seems to be overcome with an uncontrollable fit of juvenile giggling. But then, it occurs to her. There's people hittiong each other in the next room. She could be hitting things in the next room. Is that, uh, that is a fist fight, I want to fist fight now. she declares, crawling past the doorframe and the ridiculous little ball of fur, only to spring up and flop against the side of the closest guard with great force and a greater shout of DESTRUCTION HAMMER PUNCH!!

Spoiler: OOC

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Yes, she is going to scream all her attacks, which, in this case is an unarmed strike Mountain Hammer against the guard on Q14: (1d20+8)[22] for (1d3+4)[5] and (3d6)[7] NONLETHAL bludgeoning;
if the attack deals damage, she immediate action burns a use of Destruction Devotion to lessen the armpour or natural bonus armour of the guard by 1.

[Benoojian]

"I did try to warn you..."

Spoiler: bee swarm damage

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(3d6)[13]

[Aegis013]

Xyrona, somewhat uneasy around the strange entity, mounts her horse without further conversation and guides it carefully through the passage towards the guard room. As she is unarmed, she stays behind the others electing to observe the combat for now.

[Ridai]

The offer fell on deaf ears, it appears, as Faith gets resoundingly bonked on the head by a club, only barely getting missed by the second as she reels back on accident. Not that the bonk leaves all that much in lasting injury. At the same time, lil' cat has a burpee.

"Chill out, yer givin' the kitty gas," Faith says, waving a hand in front of her face, transitioning into a horn (in the musical instrument sense) materializing in said hand. "More the combat banter types? Alrighty then." And a mighty toot is tooted, with a little musical flourish. Celestial sound pleases the ear, but also has a soundwave rush forward to bowl angry guards over, further billowing the feline burp. A little step out of the way of the door follows to make room a bit.

Spoiler: Actions

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Full Use Horn of Heaven, creating a 20ft cone doing (3d8)[12] sonic damage (Fort DC 15 halves). Targets the guards in P15 and M15. Five foot step to R14.

[Alhallor]

Mystery's mighty yawn let's both guards be heavily burdened, they're gear suddenly way too heavy for them. The bees do they're stinging work, damaging one guard and with Faith's horn, and some stings, the heavenly music makes him unconscious.

The other guard, battered and weak, still try's to strike at Faith weakly, but Brakq is faster and strikes him down with one hearty punch.

The big guard sighes. "Why do I have to do everything myself?!"

He lurches forward, ignoring the hurtful sting of the bees.

Spoiler: Bee damage.

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(3d6)[12]

Without further discussion he swings towards Brakq, trying to get him down.

Spoiler: Attack against Brakq

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(1d20+10)[20]
Damage (1d8+5)[13] and DC 13 Fortitude save for half (3d6)[7] Electricity damage, all damage is subdual.

Spoiler: Map

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Guards are falling down.

[Benoojian]

"If you have to do everything yourself then I suppose we'd better focus fire on you so we can get our Damned stuff back" Drawing on the magic between magic, Gina lets out an arcane swear, attempting to blind the large guard and also blasting him as the word burrows into his eyes. Then she draws a shadowy curtain across her face and disappears.

Spoiler: Mechanics

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Standard, Reserve Fuse: Shadow Veil and Shattering Word, DC 18 Will save from the large guard or he treats everything as concealed (20% miss chance and -5 to spot) and 6 sonic damage(damage regardless of save)
Swift, Vanishing Act, Gina is invisible 1 round

[Ridai]

"Woah, magic swearing, nice." Faith observes Gina's handiwork with a chill smile, taking mental notes.

Switching the kitty cat over to her right arm (transfer scritches included), Faith reaches out to the less big guard in front of her, putting a glowing hand on his shoulder. "Hey. Take a break. You deserve it." The energy flowing into the guard does feel like nap time might be just the thing right now.

Spoiler: Actions

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Standard Celestial Light vs the smaller guard. The damage inflicted is good-aligned divine energy that does no damage to good targets, half to neutral, and full to evil.
Melee touch attack (1d20+5)[14], (3d6)[10] damage

[Cygnia]

WHOOP! Careful dere, hoomin -- DON'T DROP ME~! A slight mewl of indignation escaped the kitteh's throat as Faith shifted her hold. But the further skritchings helped placate Her.

Mystery thought about unleashing Her POWERFUL COMMAND OF THE ELEMENTS~! against Teh Big Stoopid with the Electric Thwomper, but that might also destroy the stingy thingies currently harrying him. Yes, clearly this was a Strategic Idea to wait for Her Weakening Breath to rechargeandnotjustHerbeinglazyandenjoyingtheheadskritches.

Spoiler: Action

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Lazy Kitteh is Lazy this round ;)

[Metastachydium]

A wide slasher bludgeoner smile materializes on Brakq's visage as the little guard falls, and the big guard battering away at her does little to wipe it off. Quite on the contrary. You give 'em, you get 'em. Cost of doing business. Life is dumb, and dumb is boring. Danger's fun. Almost as much as breaking stuff is. You, uh, you hit me. Brakq informs the guard with an odd kind of glee, before turning towards the other shmucks in here with her. He hit me! I need to, uh, I need to hit him now; save some of him for me, uh, me hitting him. she instructs them focusing all her otherwise available attention on trying to pry the funny stick out of the downed little guard's hand. It's a bludgeon! That lightning-strikes people! This must be her hatching-day.

Spoiler: OOC

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Fortitude: (1d20+4)[21];
Brakq move action tries to Rm herself, heedless of any AoOs that might provoke.

[Alhallor]

Brakq doesn't need to concern himself with getting damaged, because the combined efforts of Faith, Gina and probably a sizable morale boost from the kitty the heavy guard falls down too.

A heavy silence falls down on the room, only interrupted by the clacking of Asfaloth hoofs.

Spoiler: Chests

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They have your equipment inside and are unlocked.

Spoiler: Guards

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The guards all wear Studded Leather armor, the one from the big one is masterwork but also pretty big. They all have masterwork clubs that 2 times per day, can deal 3d6 Lightning damage (Fort DC 13 for half). You can freely decide to deal subdual damage with this clubs without getting a penalty.

Together they also have (3d20)[32] Silver coins.
(1d20)[15] Gold coins.
A Mug with 5 dice.
A bottle filled with mint liqour.
And an unsent letter to a wife (Gerlinde)

Spoiler: Letter from one guard

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Hi Gerlinde,

how are you? I'm fine.

I don't know how the weather is, being underground and all, I'm sure you can have a bit more weather with you serving in the temple of 'Our Pain Devouring Lady That Brings Utter Suffering?'

It's just that great being a guard and being evil, normally when you're a henchman you just get downed by some goody-two-shoes paladin, like in my last appointment, I really thought that Wraith-Priest would take better care of us.

But it doesn't matter I can annoy my coworkers and call it discipline, we got a kitty in our last shipment and I'm being sure to kick it later, I can just call it testing!

Hope you had a nice sacrifice weekend.

In backstabbing love,
Gunther.

Spoiler: Loot

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Money will probably play a role later.

Spoiler: Map

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Tip, Tip, Tap.

[Aegis013]

Xyrona happily collects her equipment, re-saddling her horse and glad to no longer need to ride bareback. As she works she informs the others of what she encountered in the other chamber. She also spends time carefully securing her and Asfaloth's armor.

"I'm glad that this group is so capable. Though, have any of you ever seen a tentacle-faced horse that speaks thoughts directly into your mind? There's one of those in that room labeled "horse experiment". It was rather uncanny. It didn't seem to be hostile, but given we're in this strange place, I certainly wouldn't mind a second opinion."

[Ridai]

"Ohhh, this an Evil dungeon, alrighy." And down the guards go. Okay, first things first!

1. Getting the lady her hammer from the big guard! "Here you go!"
2. Returning the toys to the kitten! Faith opens the chest and carefully places the kitten inside (with an extra few scritches under the chin). "Have fun, I'll be right back!"
3. Faith getting her own stuff! Walking over aaall the way to the last chest, she opens it and finds her Shenanigans Tools which are also her sustenance and mobility. And clothes!
4. Searching the guards and reading the letter. "Ohh, it's C-Evil, even! Hey, doin' what they love, at least. Really shoulda guessed by the moustaches, hm."
5. Putting on one of the studded leather armors and taking a guard club, on account of having nothing else in terms of equipment.
6. Lifting the kitty back out the box if necessary.

Clapping, then rubbing her hands, causing them to glow, Faith tops up everyone who got hurt (including herself). "Tentacle horse? I'mma check it out. Gonna explore the whole thing, might 's well start with someone who wanna talk. How 'bout you folks?"

Spoiler: Actions

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Heal everyone with Healing Light, put on one of the normal studded leather armors, and take one of the guard clubs. Then go meet the tentacle horse after interviewing people.

[Cygnia]

Good. Teh hoomin set Her down without having to give the order. Though, while Faith's back was turned, She immediately hopped back out of the chest and ambled over to read this evil guard's letter...

...

...

...

...Mystery's tail twitched in anger. And expressed Her fury as only a kitteh could right on the unconscious man's head. Besides, best to get dis outta teh way now before I gotta *sigh* shift into teh Ugly form. Without a backward glance. Mystery padded back to the chest with Her stuff, with the telltale scent of cat urine now emanating from the prone guard.

Then the cat began to grow and her form began to change into something more hoominoid. Female, possibly a gnome or a halfling, but even smaller than one of those two species. And nekkid. But there were Her clothes in that chest. Tacky vest, check. Belt to improve Her Awesome Powers? Check. Artificial pointy endz with their pretty baubles? Check and check. Carrying pack for all Her stuff -- ooh and Her everlasting FOOD was in dere too -- check.

And the wands. Yep, zappy time now. Check.

Reluctantly hoominoid now, the former cat turned towards the others. "'Sup?"

[Metastachydium]

Only ever so slightly displeased that she couldn't get a piece of the big guard (in the end, it's not like fleshy things make crunchy noises that satisfying when hit with a blunt implement; Brakq just feels there must be better stuff to hit with a stick in here!), Brakq accepts her treasuredhammer from the weird song-dance lady with the closest thing to a genuine gratitude her face can show and… Oddly enough, doesn't bother to take a good swing yet, no. Instead, using the blocky, big maul as a grotesque crutch, she flops and drags herself all the way to the her chest and looks in. The gauntlests, armour and assorted tidbits are put on without much ado; but the backpack gets some extra attention. She removes, one after the other, sveral pyramid-shaped flasks of clear liquid and two large earthenware eggs with curious little metallic pins sticking out of them, inspects them with an idiotic grin, then places them back in, swinging the whole thing onto her back. There's alightshow for later in there. So good!

It is only then that she equips the big hammer again… And swiftly turns it against the chest with a resounding MOPUNTAIN HAMMER!! It feels so right. I, uh, I have my stuff now. she tells the cat, evidently unfazed by her sudden transformation into a not-cat. Let's go break something.

Spoiler: OOC

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Mountain Hammer on the empty chest, because of course: (1d20+7)[12] for (2d8+7)[18] and (3d6)[18], ignoring all hardness.

[Aegis013]

Xyrona covers her face upon the realization that Mystery's shifted form is not wearing any garments, the tips of her pointed ears turning red.

"Please cover up. It's immodest." She says, half-mumbling through her hands which are blocking her view.

[Cygnia]

In response, Mystery just shot a baleful look towards Xyrona. If it wasn't for the fact that She no longer had Her magnificent plush fur in this form, Mystery would have chosen to stay nekkid. No acute sense of scent, no silently communicative tail and ears, no fur to stay warm...if it wasn't for Teh Thumbz, hoomin form would be utterly useless. How do hoomins even LIVE like dis?!

"...whatebber..." muttered Mystery. Eventually, garments were finally worn. At least the louder, wetter hoomin didn't seem to care. So, Breaker-of-Stuff was also now deemed worthy of Mystery's blessing. She patted Brakq gently, invoking Her purrtection from Her AWESOME POWERS~!

"OK, so who's gonna be in front of Me?" Mystery deigned to speak. "I don't wanna hurt anyone with My Terrific Might accidentally. You have been warned..."

Spoiler: Action

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Invoking Endure Exposure on Brakq

[Ridai]

"Oh hey," Faith says to Mystery, evidently taking the surprise of kitty turning into naked woman in stride, raising two fingers in greeting. "Headin' over to see tentacly horseys, can tag along if you wanna."

Faith hasn't heard much in terms of plans from the others, sooo... she's going back through the cells to the Horse Experiment, to see the tentacle-headed horse. She grabs a mug on the way, firing some water from her flask into it, then making it glow.

To the tentacle horse: "Heya, I'm Faith St. Mary, Faith for short, nice to meet'cha, jus' got here via kidnappin'. You wanna talk a bit about yourself, how life's in here, how you became a tentacle horse?" She offers the cup with the best ever drink to the horse. "Care for a drink?"

Diplomacy (1d20+23)[41]

[Metastachydium]

As Xyrona shows off the wonderful expressive versatility of Elven ears, Brakq, using her maul as an impromptu crutch has already begun to crawl towards a near exit, only to stop abruptly as she happens on the letter herself. For once, it is not destroyed, no. If it needed destroying, her stupid puddle would've destroyed it, right? No, she figures, it must have a greater purpose.

Locating some writing supplies, she quickly jots onto it a few more lines. This is a stupid place; maybe people will be stupid enough to mail it even so:

Gerlinde you stupid landcow
we knocked out your stupid husband peed on him and stole his funny club
your fancy church deserves a better class of people hitting things to work with
send here no rush

[Alhallor]

---------------------Faith and a horse-------------------

Despite a nekid kitty-person Faith goes towards the "horse experiment" where a horse with a tentacled... Face? Maw? Munches on one leaf of a Dandelion. When Faith introduces herself the horse happily goes towards here and she hears a clear distinct voice in her head.

Oh, hello! I'm horse! You got kidnapped? Oh no, where did you're kids got napped? Are they sleeping soundly?

My life here is pretty nice, I can munch on a lot of grass and leaves, I have that very tasty dandelion over there! And I regularly get snacks!

The tentacles move in a weird pattern and the squid-like head seems to look a bit confused? or angry?

What do you mean, became? I always looked like this.

-------------------------Guard room-----------------

On the other room a letter got some new words written on it, but that is not the only writing available.

On the door where the party emerged from is a plaque with the words "new arrivals" written on it.

On the door opposite this one is a "Water experiment."

On the north is a "Big glass chamber."

and it seems to the south is the "Transport chamber."

[Ridai]

"Hello, horse! Oh no, it's a human manner of speakin'. What I meant is that I got napped 'n' put in a cell over there while I was nappin'. They also took my stuff, but I got it back, so 's all good. Did sleep soundly, too."

The horse getting irritated, Faith raises a hand in apology. "Ah, sorry, my bad, first time talkin' to a horse. How long've you been here? Good ta hear yer havin' a great time. Folks bringin' you snacks also spendin' time with ya? Y'know, talk with ya, play with ya, regular brushies, that sorta thing?"

[Aegis013]

Xyrona reads the signage above the variety of doors. "Fascinating. Which of these chambers should we investigate first?"

[Metastachydium]

Brakq tosses the letter aside and straightens up, insofar as she is able given the limitations imposed by being a fish-shaped thing out of water with only a big hammer to lean on. Can we see, uh, see the big glass chamber? I want to. she asks with a big grin on her face that promises precious little good. I want to, now! Glass is funny. Glass is funny in so many ways.

[Cygnia]

"Glass works," nodded Mystery. Avoiding more of Teh Wet was ALWAYS a Good Idea.

And She then pet the rear of the slighty-pointy eared hoomin's horsey, invoking Her Blessing yet again on the steed JUST in case.

Spoiler

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Invoking Endure Exposure upon Asfaloth

[Aegis013]

"Big glass chamber, here we come! Forward Asfaloth, yah." Xyrona deftly maneuvers the horses' bridle and skillfully rides to the door, clip-clopping through the portal first, her jousting gear at the ready.