96 The Battle for Gobwin Knob, Page 86

[The Blind]

I'm reminded of something Neil Gaiman said when he was working on the penultimate volume of the Sandman series, The Kindly Ones.He mentioned that he knew readers would be fed up with the pacing of the story when they read it issue-by-issue but when it was released as an entire trade paperback many people claimed it the best story arc ever.

I definitely think this is similar. There's definitely a flow when reading straight through the archive. I most enjoyed it when I first discovered Erfworld and read from beginning to end. Of course, I still read the updates now, too.

Do we have any reason to think that a Croakamancer can uncroak another side's units? We don't know where the uncroaked infantry came from, but all of the uncroaked warlords appear to be Stanley's succession of poor choices, based on the ironic names.

Took the words out of the my mouth. I maintain we still don't have any indication that it's possible. If Wanda's functional again soon, we'll hopefully know within five or six pages. Although, from what we have seen of creating uncroaked infantry, it looks like Wanda simply ordered it while at Gobwin Knob.

I'd be very interested to see what's happened with the treasury at the start of the turn.

A good question about the treasury. I'm more interested to see what happens if and when Parson levels up. Will he stronger, faster, smarter? Will he lose a few pounds of fat, gain a few of muscle? Or just have a better leadership bonus?

[Roldolfo1]

Hmmmm..... Seems like Parson's sword has already seen some action in the manner of "Samurai Sandwich Shop". Nice cut, wonder if he'll level up?

Why would he cut it in half other than to share it with Bogroll? Parson has probably never shared food in his life so I must be wrong. Right?

R1

[fendrin]

Took the words out of the my mouth. I maintain we still don't have any indication that it's possible. If Wanda's functional again soon, we'll hopefully know within five or six pages. Although, from what we have seen of creating uncroaked infantry, it looks like Wanda simply ordered it while at Gobwin Knob.

Well, even if you can't animate your opponent's forces, being able to animate your own is a huge advantage...

As for page 3, I think you are misconstruing what it means to 'start pieceing together a regiment of uncoaked'. I think it's pretty clear that she is instructing the soldier to gather the troops, not to animate them. Especially when she says 'no siege'. Although it is a funny mental image, having a bunch of soldiers manning an uncroaked assembly line. "...The foot bone is connected to the ankle bone / The ankle bone is connected to the leg bone..."

Hmmmm..... Seems like Parson's sword has already seen some action in the manner of "Samurai Sandwich Shop". Nice cut, wonder if he'll level up?

Why would he cut it in half other than to share it with Bogroll? Parson has probably never shared food in his life so I must be wrong. Right?

R1

1) Parson's sword doesn't have a blade yet, just a ricasso. It couldn't cut the mustard, let alone a sandwich.

2) Subway always cuts their foot long subs in half before rolling them up.

[SauroGrenom]

Any more ideas on what's Parson's stategy?

From a "metaplot" standpoint Parson's used all the toys from the stupid meals, so I expect we'll eventually get a chance to see him use the sword.

It strikes me that he won't go fighting unless he no other option, so at some point he's going to have his back against the wall and be forced to fight. But considering how he's getting his sword in bits, it could be 3 or 4 more turns before it's finished.

[Arkenputtyknife]

From a "metaplot" standpoint Parson's used all the toys from the stupid meals, so I expect we'll eventually get a chance to see him use the sword.

Since the sword appears to still lack a blade at this point — it has only the hilt and false grip — Parson can't go into battle with it for at least another turn, unless he intends to bash people on the head with its blunt edge.

Presumably this turn we'll see some tunnel action and/or siegecraft at the crater rim. Parson will then get the blade in his next meal, and then either he'll sally with his few but hopefully loyal troops or the Coalition will actually break into GK.

Good luck, Parson. I've done battle re-enactments, and wielding a sword for just half an hour is exhausting for someone who isn't fit and trained for it. And that thing looks like it's going to be a big sword.

[hajo]

Any more ideas on what's Parson's stategy?

During his turn, they could lob / roll some rocks down the side of the vulcano - but that makes sense only if Ansom's has some troops in range.
If it is possible to undermine the road leading up to GK, to delay the siege-engines, depends on Sizemore's speed and range at tunneling.

Finally, they could prepare a trap or a hot welcome for next turn when Ansom is coming to attack GK.

[hajo]

Cheap and plastic? Where did you get that?
The mathamancy thingemagig was especially mentioned to be very valuable in the right hands, and noone ever said the hilt was made of plastic.

So far, Parson got Paper 3D-goggles (cheap), the battle-calculator is just a hard plastic sleeve acting as an interfact to his calculator-clock, a toy sword hilt, and now the ricasso.
Ok, there was no statement about the material of the sword, but from the continuing "toy" aspect, I would not expect it to be a made of real steel.

The value of those items to erfworlders is completely unrelated to their manufacturing cost / value in our world.
Same as the value of a piece of paper can vary wildly, depending on what is written on it, and to whom

[Arkenputtyknife]

So far, Parson got Paper 3D-goggles (cheap),

In our world. Possibly worth a fortune in Erfworld.

the battle-calculator is just a hard plastic sleeve acting as an interfact to his calculator-clock,

Plastic does not equal cheap; used appropriately and well, it's a very useful material, and sometimes can be damnably expensive. Nylon, for example, is one of the most resiliant materials you can meet; try cutting a slab of it some time. It's a good material for making cutting boards out of.

And you admit that the sleeve is a lot more than just a holder. Parson seems to be able to now use his watch in ways that he wasn't able to before, or he probably wouldn't bother wearing the sleeve.

Incidentally, I've found it a good rule of thumb that using the word “just” means something is being belittled when it doesn't deserve to be: “the battle-calculator is a hard plastic sleeve acting as an interface to his calculator-clock.” See what I mean?

a toy sword hilt,

Not a toy, not plastic, not cheap.

and now the ricasso.

Ditto.

Overall, you don't seem to have much of a case.

[Demented]

You want to give up on the idea of Parson using a toy in battle, that bats stuff around like it was a Final Fantasy sword?

[Arkenputtyknife]

You want to give up on the idea of Parson using a toy in battle, that bats stuff around like it was a Final Fantasy sword?

You want to give up on putting words into people's mouths?

I have a hard time seeing Parson in battle at all. But for one reason or another he's being given a sword, and that ain't no toy by the look of it.

[Occasional Sage]

You want to give up on putting words into people's mouths?

I have a hard time seeing Parson in battle at all. But for one reason or another he's being given a sword, and that ain't no toy by the look of it.

Not only does it look real (as much as it can without a close-up), but it strains credulity that nobody would mention that it is a toy if it actually were made of plastic, or paper mache, or crumpled tinfoil.

Really, Parson's comments in the klog drive home that the sword is real. He call it "ominous," and mentions that Bogroll is going to try to make it fully functional. Parson is obviously expecting to use it as a real weapon when he states that "...other than 'pointy end away from user' I don't know swords." If he takes it seriously, why wouldn't we?

That said, with Parson's lack of skill and finesse coupled with his sheer body mass, I'd hand him a tetsubo or a big boop-off sledge hammer, and let him go to town.

[ryos]

I'd just like to interject that the Arkenhammer is, in fact, a plastic toy croquet mallet.

Edit: and the look of concentration on Bogroll's face as he attaches the ricasso is awesome.

Oh, and:

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I can't believe I'm about to argue about this.

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Seriously. I'm having an internal tug-o-war with my typing fingers as I type this.

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Gah! Self...control...fading...

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Alright. You win. You're misreading the picture of Parson with his eyeBook.

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That's all I'll say. Look again, Balzac.

[Krelon]

I'd just like to interject that the Arkenhammer is, in fact, a plastic toy croquet mallet.

Edit: and the look of concentration on Bogroll's face as he attaches the ricasso is awesome.

...and the enemies are giant care bears and giraffes, so a a toy sword fits perfectly.

Hm. The sword is the first item that comes in (at least) 3 parts, does it mean, it will be trice as powerful as the other stupid meal 'toys' ?

Maybe, because Parson is really missing fighting experience, it gives him a huge enough boost to be an the same level as other chief warlords (Ansom can croak dwagons with his pliers)

[fendrin]

...and the enemies are giant care bears and giraffes, so a a toy sword fits perfectly.

Hm. The sword is the first item that comes in (at least) 3 parts, does it mean, it will be trice as powerful as the other stupid meal 'toys' ?

Maybe, because Parson is really missing fighting experience, it gives him a huge enough boost to be an the same level as other chief warlords (Ansom can croak dwagons with his pliers)

More likely, it will bring him up to a level consistent with his (low) leadership score. If so, he would be able to fight as well as Dora.

As for parson getting exhausted by being tugged around by the sword, that would definitely be true if it were a normal sword. It is, however, a magical sword, so all bets are off. It could be no more taxing then swinging a feather duster, or magically soothe and energize his muscles, so that while he is working hard, he never wears out.

Damn, though, that would be a great way to exercise....

[hajo]

In our world. Possibly worth a fortune in Erfworld.

The 3D-goggles are useless to any other leader on Erf, because they can see unit-stats naturally.
So their value to everyone exept Parson would be, at best, as any random novelty or collectors item.

toy sword hilt, and now the ricasso

Not a toy, not plastic, not cheap.

Bogroll could make "real" custom armor overnight, so I just don't see why he couldn't get / make a standard sword at the same place.
So, when Parson gets his sword by special delivery, I expect it to be something special, e.g. Lightgreatsword or something...

[The Blind]

And you admit that the sleeve is a lot more than just a holder. Parson seems to be able to now use his watch in ways that he wasn't able to before, or he probably wouldn't bother wearing the sleeve.

Indeed, Sizemore said some rulers would pay half a million schmuckers for it. Which makes it worth about two-thirds as much as Parson, to put it in perspective.*

*if I'm remembering the numbers right.

So, when Parson gets his sword by special delivery, I expect it to be something special, e.g. Lightgreatsword or something...

I didn't realize people were going to be so disappointed that the hilt wasn't an elegant weapon for a more civilized age. Having any weapon beats having his fists, since Parson appears to have all the fighting prowess of a well-used beanbag chair.

[SteveMB]

Indeed, Sizemore said some rulers would pay half a million schmuckers for it. Which makes it worth about two-thirds as much as Parson, to put it in perspective.*

*if I'm remembering the numbers right.

You have it backwards. Summoning the Perfect Warlord with casting and support services would have been 500K shmuckers (equal to Sizemore's estimate of the band's value); the actual do-it-yourself option Stanley bought was 350K shmuckers (about 2/3 of the band's value).

[hajo]

Having any weapon beats having his fists, since Parson appears to have all the fighting prowess of a well-used beanbag chair.

Parson is there to do planning, strategy and command troops, not fighting.
I cannot imagine that they don't have some spare weapons in the headquarter, so it shouldn't be a problem to just give him some standard weapon - sword, axe, mace, etc.
So, if the process of equipping Parson with a weapon is that involved as we have seen, I expect something special.

[teratorn]

Parson is there to do planning, strategy and command troops, not fighting.

The perfect warlord should also be able to fight, and fight fiercely.

[Oslecamo]

Parson is there to do planning, strategy and command troops, not fighting.
I cannot imagine that they don't have some spare weapons in the headquarter, so it shouldn't be a problem to just give him some standard weapon - sword, axe, mace, etc.
So, if the process of equipping Parson with a weapon is that involved as we have seen, I expect something special.

Ansom is the warlord of the coalition, and he's a damn good fighter, commander and strategist.

Also, commanding units always have the chance of geting special weapons in war games.

This sword Parson is receiving piece by piece is probably some uber sword, so uber he needs 3 turns to be fully "summoned" or built, instead of a single turn like the other stufff.

Also notice it seems to be fitted to his size. A normal efworld weapon would probably be hard to wield by Hamster.

[Aquillion]

Parson is there to do planning, strategy and command troops, not fighting.
I cannot imagine that they don't have some spare weapons in the headquarter, so it shouldn't be a problem to just give him some standard weapon - sword, axe, mace, etc.
So, if the process of equipping Parson with a weapon is that involved as we have seen, I expect something special.

He can just bluff. I mean, they can't see his stats. His attack could be 2... or it could be 2000, and in all the confusion he hasn't had a chance to test.

So I guess the only question is... are you feeling lucky, punk?

[SteveMB]

He can just bluff. I mean, they can't see his stats. His attack could be 2... or it could be 2000, and in all the confusion he hasn't had a chance to test.

So I guess the only question is... are you feeling lucky, punk?

If he ends up in direct contact with the enemy, what will they make of his lack of visible stats? The simplest explanation from their point of view is that it's some sort of weird veil (they know Stanley's side has a Foolamancer). Having been bitten once, Ansom might smell another trap....

[The Blind]

You have it backwards. Summoning the Perfect Warlord with casting and support services would have been 500K shmuckers (equal to Sizemore's estimate of the band's value); the actual do-it-yourself option Stanley bought was 350K shmuckers (about 2/3 of the band's value).

That's what I get for not taking the time to check. So the battle-odds wristwatch-calculator device is not cheap, which means:

This sword Parson is receiving piece by piece is probably some uber sword, so uber he needs 3 turns to be fully "summoned" or built, instead of a single turn like the other stufff.

... the sword probably won't be, either. I think people are just getting put off by the sword's appearance in this comic. The hilt has looked more detailed before; I'm sure when the sword is complete and is drawn in detail later on, it will look quite smashing.

What will they make of his lack of visible stats? The simplest explanation from their point of view is that it's some sort of weird veil (they know Stanley's side has a Foolamancer). Having been bitten once, Ansom might smell another trap.

Just to ratchet up the expectations for this particular possibility, remember that only casters, warlords, and Rulers have the ability to see stats naturally, so when Parson's stat-lessness is recognized, it's going to be when he's nose-to-nose with one of Ansom's warlords, casters - or Ansom himself.

(Dum dum dum!)

That face-off would be amazing.

[Vanguard]

So now that Parson has a complete sword, how long before he has to use it?

I do not think that Parson has a complete sword, the end is to blunt and to short to be anything near a dagger even. I think theres a piece of his sword missing.

[hajo]

I do not think that Parson has a complete sword, .. I think theres a piece of his sword missing.

He hasn't looked at it closely, so maybe the blade is still missing, but perhaps it is already complete right now.
E.g. the blade could be collapsible inside the ricasso, or magic/lightsaber-style

[Krelon]

In the end the summon warlord spell seems like a bargain, with all these possibly expensive items.

the goggles let him see stats like a warlord
the calculator lets him estimate the odds of battles like a mathamancer
the sword lets him fight like a ... ?

There is a very small chance that the sword is not for fighting though but a sign of office or something that gives huge moral bonus to all his troops. It would definitely fit Parson better.

[hajo]

the sword is not for fighting though but a sign of office or something that gives huge moral bonus to all his troops..

Nothing says that those two functions have to exclude each other

[Krelon]

the sword aside, I wonder that we didn't read anything about Wanda yet
does that hint another plot advancement strip?

[hajo]

we didn't read anything about Wanda yet

I guess Parson's next stop after breakfast will be Maggie & Wanda.
After all, it will make a huge dfference in the upcoming battle if Wanda gets to lead&boost the zombies, or not.

[Kandarin]

It may just be me, but the stats for Transylvito put a much more sinister light on Ansom's comments here.

It seems to me that Ansom was willing to risk Vinnie in part because Vinnie's side contributes so little. As far as we know Transylvito's contribution is just one warlord and a handful of bats, so if that was lost it wouldn't exactly break the coalition.