Adventuring 101: Part 1 - Around The World In...We'll Decide Later.

[Meek]

"Oh? What person are you looking for? I might be able to help!" Kakarooke says. "The birds tell me things!"

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Unless everyone else posts with a bit more frequency, I'll have to slow down in a major way for Flame, and of course Panitari'll be in Limbo for a bit anyway. Also, maybe I'm jumping a little fast here, but I'm kinda disappointed with the posting thus far, there's been days where certain characters where not seen even once, and I'd rather it not get so horribly lopsided. At least a post per day please. And if you can't, tell me why in the OOC topic. It's early and I am already feeling kinda weary of how this has started.

[Djinn_in_Tonic]

Bryant steps forward and stands before Kakarooke, one hand on his hip.

"Mr. Kakarooke, if you would be so kind as to tell your mistress that Mr. Bryant Duorn has a complaint to lodge about her editorial staff? If she could find time to speak to me at some point I'd appreciate it greatly. But tell her to take her time...I have nothing better to do."

With that he leans up against the rock face and looks at those who accompanied him to the house.

"Mind if I inquire who you all are? I don't recall seeing any of you around, and I'm generally quite good with names. Speaking of which, mine is Bryant Duorn. Pleasure to meet you all, I'm sure."

[Meek]

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Djinn, I'm sorry I didn't make this clear, but you aren't there yet >_> I kinda wanted comment from Richard before steering you over. But hell, I can work with this.

"Oh my! You guys really snuck up on me! How did you do that?" Kakarooke asks.

"Time Stop scroll. Greater Teleport scroll. High Use Magic Device." Argea says, "Anyway, Kakarooke's just a column, so we can stop talking to him and head on up. Also, who's the woodsman?"

"He's my friend. He's confused. I think somebody hit him with an Insanity spell as a child, when his saving throws were soft and fleshy!" Kakarooke joyously says.

"...Right."

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Everyone involved, of course, notices Fhil in the steps. Likewise Fhil, you see everyone just sort of pop in out of nowhere.

[Lepre_Khan]

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Sorry, Richard was just sort of following along, didn't think it was worth a comment. I'll add it now, yesterday was a bit more hectic than I had counted on. I'll give you at least one a day henceforth.

Mortified by the reaction of Bryant, Richard follows politely and bashfully on behind the beautiful (and sexy) editor. His eyes are lowered out of shame--though he's certainly enjoying the view.

Now on the way to--finally--meet the Great Author of Our Age Richard feels his palms begin to grow sweaty and starts to fidget with his hair. He needs all the luck he can get on Karin's upcoming True Love at First Site roll---fate or no fate, modifiers always help.

[Meek]

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If anyone's waiting for me, I kinda don't have anything more to say right now and would like it if you guys would interact. I guess. Specifically since you just saw Flame's character for the first time and he's seeing you people.

[Helepolis]

Panitari sighs, and mutters to herself "And now we're speaking to columns...and crazy people who talk to columns...save me from these people...or at least pay me for hanging around with them..."

Speaking up, she turns to Argea "Well, since all of us have the same aim, couldn't you just take us in, or something, now, please?"

She tries her best to look cute,

[Meek]

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Okay, moving on then. Maybe I'm just used to more participation and am expecting too much. I don't know. You guys tell me what's wrong. I'm just feeling a little weary as I expected everything to be a little more...involved, I suppose. So seeing some people posting in frequency, others not posting much at all, this constantly shifting, etc. I don't know, maybe I'm having an off week.

"Aww, you're adorable dear. But I wouldn't know if you all have the same aims. This nice old chap here seems to want to lodge a complaint, this poetic fellow seems to want...I don't even want to know, and...well fine. Let's go up then. Stay here gurbley. We can let everyone pass, it's fine."

The gurblegurb sits, and looks out at the town.

Argea addresses Fhil, "I suppose you want to go up too, so you can. Just follow up."

She leads up the final steps, to the Apuleius cottage front door, opens the darkwood door, and enters. You step into a vast lobby that could not possibly be contained in such a small home. It is still made of wood, yes, but given the size of the home from the outside, this should be the entirety of it! Beyond you see a number of adjoining halls, windows on the walls showing the outside, the tall roof above held by vertical beams, and in the center of the lobby, there are a number of couches. One of the couches, however, has wheels, and a steel skeleton holding it up.

"Oh Kariiiiiin, we have company!" Argea says.

The chair rotates as though by magic.

Sitting on the moving couch is Karin Apuleius – a girlishly pretty lady about five feet and three inches in height, with purple plum colored hair in a shoulder length, straight cut in a slight sort of bob. She has thin glasses in front of her gold eyes. Her figure is thin and very modest, not a picture of sexual curvature at all, and the plaster doesn't help. She is dressed in a beige vest over a white shirt, and the one arm not covered in plaster has a long sleeve with onyx cufflings at the end. She has, that you can see from the tips of the fingers, one green sock and one yellow sock on her feet.

Upon seeing you, she tilts her head slightly to the left, smiling.

"That's how she greets people." Argea said. "Karin, these are your replacement adventurers. Hopefully. Maybe."

Karin straightens her head. "Oh, that's great! Very great! Most splendid indeed. Why are they old and crooked though?"

"...Don't be so damn picky."

"I'm not being picky! I'm just wondering."

"This one isn't old." Argea points at Panitari.

"Okay. Then my question becomes: why did you collect me a bunch of pedophiles."

She says all this rather honestly, with a sort of girlish naivety, as though she has no idea she's being eccentric or offensive.

[Helepolis]

Panitari sighs, but also smirks, and pipes up "Technically, Miss Apuleius, they aren't pedophiles, because I'm not as young as I look."

[Lepre_Khan]

"Also, I can't say I'm particularly attracted to her in anyway--she certainly can't compare with your ethereal beauty. Err, no offense, girl. Woman. Ma'am. A bit off put the presence of others at such an important meeting, Linkely nods politely to Panitari, and then strides forward resolutely towards Karin, reciting as he goes.
"Oh Karin,
So oft have I invoked thee for my Muse,
And found such faire assistance in my verse,
As every Alien pen hath got my use,
And under thee their poesy disperse.
Thine eyes, that taught the dumb on high to sing,
And heavy ignorance aloft to flie,
Have added feathers to the learned's wing,
And given grace a double majestie.
Yet be most proud of that which I compile,
Whose influence is thine and born of thee,
In others'works thou dost but mend the style
And arts with thy sweet graces graced be.
But thou art all my art, and dost advance
As high as learning my rude ignorance."

When (and, admittedly, if) Richard reaches Karin, he bends his knee and kisses her un-plastered hand.

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Gotcha, apologies. Every DM has different standards, some like to keep inter-personal banter to a minimum until the mission is established. I shall start to interact more henceforth. Let's just assume Richard is too shy with the prospect of meeting his boyhood crush/idol/fantasy to even worry about interacting with anybody else.

[Meek]

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Back for the day, and today will decide whether or not a lot of my alternate slots open up! Because I've gotten a number of people who want to play this game, and I picked certain ones, and it seems I could have picked better. I don't care how good you are at rping, if you can't show up to post, and you can't give me the courtesy of a quick post in the OOC telling me you can't post for X amount of time, then I'm sorry. In fact I don't even really care if I sound like a jerk anymore, or if maybe my standards are too high. There are people here waiting to game, not just the alternates, but also people like Helepolis who have consistently posted, and Lepre who started off kinda shaky but wants to do better. So after today, I'm shaving off anyone who doesn't post at least once per day, and who doesn't give me a reason why they can't take five minutes a day out of their lives to do the guy running the game and the other players a fair bit of courtesy. What I WANT to do is to up the post requirement to twice a day so the game would actually move a little bit, but it seems my standards ARE too high on that.

Now, I'm touchy on this. I'm REALLY touchy on this. I'm Lewis Black touchy over this. I reserve the right to be that sort of touchy, as it's a huge peeve of mine and one that is important. I came from a board that I started with a lot of friends and it suffered heavily from people not participating. I also come from a number of rather stricter boards where the post count minimum is a little higher (two or three per day, which I feel is more optimal around ANY sort of game than once a day) and have a more abrasive tone, I would suppose, than GITP usually does. So I come here and I expect participation and I expect to be let known if I'm wasting my time or not checking this topic every other hour. And I check the OoC and what do you know? Nobody posting there either. So call me whatever names you please, or react however, just give me a sign. You are not letting me have fun by running my game how I would like it, and you are not letting other players have fun by having them show up here and see a stall or an awkward rollover of characters because you aren't posting. I don't want anyone to drop out, I would prefer it if you just did better. Because right now, I came in here with a gung-ho attitude, having left my old group that never posts behind and starting a new day and a game...and people are ditching me again. Which has just renewed my weariness.

[Flame_Excess]

(Back then, there was a woodsman...)

Things. Things? What kind of...

(Mr. Kakarooke, if you would be so kind...
...I have nothing better to do.)

Fhil is in shock being caught by surprise at such an exciting moment of his life.

What!? WHO ARE YOU?

Fhil points his finger toward the party.

(Mind if I inquire who you all are?...
...
He's confused. I think somebody hit him with an Insanity spell as a child, when his saving throws were soft and fleshy!" Kakarooke joyously says...)

You're are all out of your mind! Putting so much skills points in use magic device is so useless! You're a waste!

( ...Right! )

Fhil stares at the group with eyes of a gargoyle.

( "And now we're speaking to columns...and crazy people who talk to columns...save me from these people...or at least pay me for hanging around with them..." )

To that, Fhil answers with a face expression as if saying: Pfff, like you're worthy of that gold!

(Argea addresses Fhil, "I suppose you want to go up too, so you can. Just follow up.")

Fhil looks around himself and looks back at Argea, confused. This was the first time that he was being invited inside of a citizen's house. Maybe that villagers were more friendly that he could have expected at first sight, after all. Or that there were crazy people everywhere. Anyways, he declines, shaking his head like an animal after going in the water.

Once the group enters, there is only him and the gurblegurb left. And the forged arm, if anyone cares. Fhil approaches candidly the wtf-type-of-creature and growls:

Rawr! Rrrrr. Rawr!

[Meek]

The gurblegurb stares at you Fhil. It seems to be making an amused face.

* * *

"Oh my! That is a very beautiful poem." Karin blushes a little when kissed. "It's very nice, reminds me of the other 345,678 poems I have gotten by mail. So much work put into them. It's nice to have someone recite one in person though." She sounds perfectly innocent again, as though she was putting you down unknowingly. "Maybe you could recite the others sometime. It'd be splendid for everyone. By the way, what's everyone's names here?"

[Flame_Excess]

Fhil speaks to the gurblegurb almost whispering.

I bet that you're intelligent and that you're mocking me.
...
But can you speak? Hah! No, you can't! NO! You can't!

And on these words Fhil heads joyously to enter Karin's house.

[Lepre_Khan]

Richard blushes a little when Karin casually mentions the hundreds of thousands of letters she had received, "Right. Err. I didn't actually write that, it was by that barbarian/bard Bill the Spearshaker. I didn't think it would be fair to write a poem about you without meeting you in person. Even my talent can't do justice to someone I've never met--even you, Karin. 'A prettier thought than a face.' Still, I would happily recite poems to you another time."

Still holding her hand, Richard turns back to face the party, "But, I suppose we must get down to business my Lady. I myself am Richard Linkely, the Greatest Poet of Our Age. That impressively burly warrior there is Bryant Duorn, the legendary warrior of the Second Age and, I assume, still a great warrior of Our Age. I...I confess I don't know that girl there. You know Ms. Clamington, of course. I think there was some sort of woodsman outside talking to your pillar."

Fhil enters the room after mocking the gurblegurb.

"Oh, there he is." Whispering to Karin in a clearly audible manner, "I think he might be a loon. Don't worry though, if he's offensive to you I will be glad to defend your honor."

[Helepolis]

Panitari makes a small bow. "My name is Panitari, Miss Apuleius. It is my pleasure to meet you. I don't know any of these others, myself, but I had the pleasure of making your fine editors acquaintance."

[Meek]

"That's fine, I can defend my own honor...if my magic worked." Karin says first, to Richard's last statement.

Argea blinks. "It doesn't work? But you have a hand free?"

"Right, yes. But. No."

Karin makes the gestures for a spell, and stretches her good arm so that it aims away from the group. A cone of fire shoots out for fifteen feet...but the flame does not disperse. Instead, it seems to roll over on itself, collect and compact into a wraith-like entity of flames with a large, ragged grinning face.

"PUNY HUMANS. IT IS I, THE GREAT LORD GALBION! AWAKENED AFTER MY THOUSAND YEAR SLEEP, THE REIGN OF HORROR SHALL BEGIN ANEW! MUAHAHAHA! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

He flies through the wall, and you can see him disappearing off into the sky, leaving scorching marks where he first appeared.

"I've also awakened the Ocean Lord Targos with a cantrip. But he was small. And I made an Awakened Dire Tesseract Ooze with a Summon Monster IV spell I was using to get a minion to make me coffee. It appeared outside and rolled down the opposing mountainside, however."

"Anyway!" She says sweetly, "It is nice meeting you all!" She bows her head.

[Helepolis]

Panitari's eyes go wide, but then she nods. "Now the fact that you have to hire random adventurers makes much more sense...how I can we..." She glances around at the others "...I be of assistance?"

[Flame_Excess]

Fhil inspects (with his eyes only) the surroundings to see if there would be anything interesting and worth to steal...

[Lepre_Khan]

Richard recoils slightly from Karin and stares at her hand--the hand he had just kissed and been clutching--the hand that had accidentally summoned all manner of dangerous and deadly creatures and then let them roam free without a second thought. "Err...yes, I suppose you can defend yourself. How can we help you? Richard gives Panitari what he considers to be a rather nasty look as he emphasizes the word 'we'. In reality, he simply looks as if he has to use the restroom rather urgently.

[Djinn_in_Tonic]

Bryant, who has been standing silently since the comment about the "old and crooked adventurers," sighs deeply.

"Of course. I should have known. Someone asks me for work in a bar and the fabric of reality is threatened. It never fails."

He walks toward Karin and holds out a hand.

"As my comrade here said, my name is Bryant Duorn. And, unfortunately, I rather suspect that I'm fated to assist you in this venture...even in retirement the great plot knows me for what I am. Which, by the way, is not old and crooked. Well, not crooked, anyway."

"Also, you might want to tell your friend there to be rather more polite when she asks for assistance...it doesn't reflect well on anyone when she accosts people in the manner she confronted me."

[Meek]

"You weren't polite?" Karin asks Argea.

"I don't have Detect Good at will," Argea says, "I made the relatively safe assumption that he'd want money."

"Oh, then it's a misunderstanding."

She smiles at everyone. "Okay then! What I want to hire you to do is assist me in research for a new book! I have no idea what it's about yet, but I plan to go a few places and see if any inspiration hits. Argea has to go back to Tiddleton and answer my fan mail and pay my bills and such, so it'll just be me, you guys, and my wheelchair!"

She looks out the window. "Oh and don't worry about Galbion, he's like a Challenge Rating 7, he'll probably go burn some buildings, and a couple of young level 3 heroes will embark on a quest to defeat him. It's just how the world works. They'll figure something out."

[Lepre_Khan]

Richard keeps thinking about Galbion. And the Ocean Lord Targos. And the Awakened Dire Tesseract Ooze. This appeal of adventure was somewhat dampened by a party member--even a super attractive and brilliant party member--that could, and probably would, kill you by accident. "Don't take this the wrong way, dear, but wouldn't it be best for you to sit at home and heal yourself before heading off with us?"

[Flame_Excess]

Fhil speaks out of nowhere in the back, almost hiding from light.

Super attractive?

Fhil chuckles.

She's nothing compared to others that I've seen. For exemple, one I've seen in a sexy magazine is so...she is so...

...sexy!

Do you have an idea of what I'm talking about?

[MorkaisChosen]

One of the side doors creaks open and what can only be described as a sight enters.

A tall, mechanical body- very similar to a Warforged, with a few subtle differences (mainly in that it is much more slender and delicate, with narrow fingers that seem designed more to hold a tool than a pen)- is topped by a flat face. Two sapphire blue eyes above a slot mouth top off the shining mithral ensemble, which says with a surprisingly likeable- bordering on attractive- tone, "I'm here to fix your boiler..."

It then pauses, glances around the room, and continues, "This doesn't look like a bedroom. Erm..."

"Very sorry about this, Ms. Karin, but your house appears to be somewhat averse to mechanics. And who might these people be?"

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Hello, people. I'm that replacement. Also, if people have the ability to know what class people are, I'm a Warlock. More will emerge, but I think it's more fun to keep the details a bit quiet for now.

Also, used the Beguiling Influence incantation just before I entered, because of a strange feeling that it was the right thing for a mechanic to do before they enter a lady's bedroom.

This guy was created to be a mechanic, you see...

[Meek]

"Oh, hello Emily! These are Richard, Bryant, some hippie, and Panitari, adventurers who have just decided to help me write my new book! If you want, you can join in too! You probably need more work now that my boiler is fixed!"

She turns back to the others. "As for me, I'll just refrain from using any magic. This wheel chair will keep me from hindering you too much, as it can float five feet off the ground when carrying only me. So bad terrain and stairs aren't a problem for me! I want to set out as soon as possible! Meaning, tomorrow!"

"That's a bit sudden," Argea says.

Karin gives her a childish look. "Why aren't you in Tiddleton answering my fan letters! All those poor people who look up to me demand their polite handwritten replies!"

Sighing, Argea nods. "Yes. Fine. See you later Karin," She turns to the party, and the warforged, "Please take good care of her."

She takes out a scroll, and vanishes.

Karin then turns to Fhil. "Sir, I have no clue what you are talking about whatsoever. Here, I'll help you make sense."

She casts a ray at Fhil, which you would all normally recognize as the extremely common Owl's Wisdom. But this ray stops halfway to him, jumbles in on itself, and becomes an ooze. This ooze roils around on the ground, sinks into itself, bubbles a bit.

"Oh my, a living spell!" Karin says.

The ooze leaps at Fhil, striking him in the gut. Rather than feel pain, he feels much more wise. The ooze, seemingly dissatisfied, continues slamming and striking at him but does absolutely nothing more.

"...Alright, starting now, I'll cast no more spells. I promise."

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Fhil, +4 enhancement bonus to Wisdom for 15 minutes.

For those wondering, yes, I do plan for Karin to be a GMPC accompanying you. She has to write the book after all! But I know how to run these well, so don't worry about her upstaging you. In her condition this is basically impossible. She's only there for humor and interaction, and to give a reason for certain bits later (such as certain pieces of short fiction from her point of view that I'll be writing every so often). She's also there so I can maintain maximum DM Fiat power if anything goes way out of hand.

[Flame_Excess]

Fhil makes a sullen face in response before the slime. When he looks back at at Karin to see her reaction, he suddenly jumps and claps in his hands twice and then puts them up in the air. He's in felicity:

It's you! It's you! he points at Karin.

It's her! I found her! Everyone look at her! It's her in the magazine! Fhil says with expression.

...what happened to you? You're so ugly now with those bruises and plasters...

[MorkaisChosen]

If the Mechanicforged had eyebrows, he'd be raising one.

"Calling your employer ugly really isn't the best way to stay in employment, Fhil."

He (for, despite the name, the mechanic Karin addressed as Emily is a male) then turns to the others and adds, "I suppose I should introduce myself. I am MLE 13, Mechanicforged (although mechanically I work like a Warforged, it's just I wasn't actually made for a War, but I'm a bit off the point here) and Warlock. I gained my powers from an infernal pact, although I think I got the better of it a little-" (at this point a quiet, muffled voice from MLE's pack says, "I heard that!")- "and went freelance. So, enough about me, who are all of you?"

Somehow, a bright smile, all perfect white teeth, crosses MLE's face- despite it being a motionless slot.

[Meek]

"I like to think my face is my biggest physcal asset, and it is miraculously unbruised except for the bandages on my forehead." Karin says innocently to Fhil. "So, you were searching for me? That's very flattering!"

[Helepolis]

With Argea, her anchor of...something approaching a logical worldview...gone, Panitari stands off to the side. She has already given her name, and assured her assistance, to Karin, so she feels no great need to interact further, until they depart...but she does spend a good amount of time sizing up the others present, in the sense of self-preservation.

[Lepre_Khan]

Richard crosses to MLE13 and extends his hand in greeting, Hullo, Emily. I'm, as I had been saying, Richard Linkely. The Greatest Poet of Our Age. Unfortunately, as I suspect that poetry won't be respected by the various monsters and ne'er-do-wells on our quest, it's only fair to inform you that I'm a fairly competent Sorcerer as well."