Waspinator's Red Hand of Doom Game Thread

[Waspinator]

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Banner by Threeshades.

Here are the characters:

{table=head]Character|Player|Class|Race|Sheet
Reia Amatsu|Bandededed|Barbarian/Fighter/Scout|Human|Here
Eirica Farmann|Meek|Swordsage|Human|Here
Cezay|Threeshades|Ranger|Tiefling|Here
Force of Nature|BooNL|Druid|Warforged|Here
Rashen|Orran|Cleric|Half-Orc|Here
[/table]

Out-of-character thread:
http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showt...50#post4377750

The afternoon suns beat down on you as you cross the frontier of Elsir Vale. This is a sparsely populated land, but a fertile one and you can see a wide variety of plants growing in the forests and plains around you. In particular, the Witchwood to the north is of great interest. It is there that there are rumors of goblins gathering for some unknown purpose. You are currently on your way to the town of Drellin's Ferry on the Elsir River. There, you hope that you can learn more about what could be done to solve their problems.

Up ahead, you see what appears to be an abandoned farmhouse that has become a rest station of sorts due to the intact and working well outside of it. There is a rather odd group of people gathered there who have seemingly just met at this location. From their appearances, you assume that they must either be adventurers or circus performers since noone else could possibly be THAT weird. Well, aren't you going to introduce yourself? The plot-railroading isn't going to hold your hand all day.

[Meek]

Eirica, in her afternoon dress, wonders why they even refer to it as such. She wipes sweat from her forehead, and is huffing and puffing in short gasps for breath. But she has to wear the uniform. It's not only her sole piece of clothing aside from underwear and armor, it's a maid's badge of honor.

Ah...other people...

Rather conscious now of her incredible height, Eirica fidgets slightly. What can she say? She could introduce herself, but nobody looking like that would want a maid. She also had a mind to help the Drelin's Ferry people with cleaning up, and these people didn't seem like they could use a girl handy with a mop and bucket. Maybe they could use her other skills...

But the very thought makes her visibly shudder.

I just have to say it...be strong...

She bows standing so they don't see her blushing face. In a girlish voice totally unsuited to a woman her height, Eirica rapidly chirps out: "My name is Eirica Farmann and I'm an all purpose maid, it's nice to meet you, are you here seeking employment, because I am too! How might I be of service?"

Stupid me, I didn't have to say the last part!

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Her description is on my sheet up there, and it even includes a picture to approximate it slightly (moe anime maid is moe?) so I didn't think I needed to post it there. If you want it, here it is:


Eirica is tall. Very tall. She is six feet, eight inches; ~207.3 centimers; ~2.2 yards; and so on. Despite being so very tall, Eirica is actually quite femme in appearance. Her body is not overtly muscular, at best only somewhat athletic. She is slim and lithe and girlish, with a build that is light for her size, and fairly modest curvature. Her pretty, townsgirl sort of face clearly reflects her gentle, delicate soul, with big friendly reddish brown eyes, a thin, rounded-off nose and unpainted lips. She has long flowing hair the color of golden wheat. Rather peculiarly, she dresses in the traditional long, black and white afternoon uniform of a maid, complete with a frilly headcap. However, interwoven in her apron are the links of a chain shirt, rather clearly visible. She carries an ornate looking shortsword and wears jeweled white gloves, along with a seemingly normal-looking cloth sack.

[BooNL]

Force of Nature

The spirit looked at the assembled band of misfit travelers. It had seen the campfire from up ahead and decided to introduce itself. It was a custom that humans felt very strong about: When you meet a new person, you introduce yourself.

The spirit had spent the better part of the past four days on the road, trying to shake hands with every stranger who happened by. It got shot twice, bitten once and one particular cheeky child carved his name into Force of Nature's wooden bum. It did not give up though, once it learned a new custom, it held onto it until it had mastered the art. So the spirit had entered the farmhouse.

"The spirit greets you Eirica Farmann and is gracious to your presence. Might it know what an all-purpose maid is?" Force of Nature walked up to the closest human, its right hand extended on an outstretched arm. On its left shoulder rested a brown spotted eagle.

[Meek]

He looks nice enough...and he's almost as big as me...

Eirica extends her own hands, and takes the Spirit's one hand with both. "Hello mister Spirit. It is very nice to meet you. An All Purpose Maid is a..."

Remember the pitch...you memorized it in training...!

She remembers it fully and recites it almost like a song. "...An amazing house companion that can manage the home, kitchen, and even protect her master from harm. She is trained in all sorts of household and community arts such as cooking, cleaning, throwing goblins twenty feet in random directions, and even..." She gulps, "The romantic arts...and therefore makes a great female companion for anyone not wishing to be tied down to the legal shackles that are modern marriage laws! How might I be of ser– ignore that last part."

Her cheeks blush fiercely red.

[Threeshades]

When noticing the girl and the wooden creature, Cezay reaches for her bow and an arrow with an almost invisibly fast motion and aims for the two: "I don't know who you guys are but you won't come closer if you don't want to end up as fancy needle holders!"
After a few moments of the Spirit and Eirica giving her blank stares passed, she looks at her right hand that was just micking holding a bow and the arrow hanging from her left:
"Yeah... I tend to forget, I don't have quick draw... So how about we forget about this and... Hi, I'm Cezay."

[Meek]

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Question about humor: are we allowed to break the 4th wall then, and talk about ourselves like we're D&D characters? I was playing it more subtle.

Eirica raises her hands. "Please don't hurt me, I have sensitive skin! Or if you must, aim for my legs, I don't need them to be a maid!"

[BooNL]

Force of Nature

Well, Eirica Farmann, that sounds like..." Force of Nature was looking for a word it had heard before, the smaller humans used it often. "Fun."

When Cezay reached for her non-existant bow, the spirit did nothing but stare. The eagle on its shoulder cried and made a threatening motion by clacking its beak.

After Cezay introduced herself, the spirit walks up to her, its arm outstretched. "Greetings Cezay and well met, those were an interesting choice of words. The spirit had heard them before, men came in beast hides and demanded the spirit's currency. It thought the situation was strange, as they did not want to give the spirit anything in return, as according to the customs of trading."

[Threeshades]

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According to the recruitment thread 4th wall breakings and rule-jokes shouldbe okay

Cezay takes the Spirit's hand and shakes it briefly, eyeing it mistrustfully
"Now that my surprise round is gone for good, I might as well ask what you people are doing here.", She looks at the living construct and the girl for a moment, "What are you people doing here?"

[Meek]

Eirica looks slightly down at the girl about a foot shorter than her, and lowers her hands – slightly, while still sort of holding them out protectively in front of her. "Umm, I'm looking for work. I'm a maid, so I need to find a master to work for, or guests to take care of. I thought if Drellin's Ferry was seeing a lot of attacks, it would need somebody to help with the cleaning. I know how to shine swords very well, or get the blood off coats, or clean up gore from floors. Or maybe the rich people in town would want a good housekeeper to take care of their children." She says meekly.

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I see. If it's okay I'd like to be a little subtler myself.

[Bandededed]

Reia watches the beginning in silence, then steps out of the forest. I might as well introduce myself, and at least these people are armed. Maybe there's a problem here after all

Initially, all you see is a rather short women, but the second thing you notice, and the thing that holds you attention, is the sword she has strapped behind her waist. The thing is huge, far taller than she is. As she comes closer, saying, "Hello, fellow travelers," most people who are martially minded realize that the sword is actually over a foot longer than a standard greatsword, which places it around the seven foot mark, hilt included.

Ignoring the fact that people are staring at her sword, Reia looks at Cezay and says, "You seem rather grumpy. You should go to a brothel or something, work the tension out,"

She moves a little closer towards Erica, and cranes her head back to look her in the eyes. "Wow, you're almost as tall as my sword! I wish I had that height, I would have much less trouble from men," she looks ruefully down at her sword. "And this thing would look proper on me,"

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Reia is short, and really dislikes being so short, especially having grown up with barbarians (lots of tall men!). She's good looking (6-7/10 in my mind), and is dressed similarly to Seung Mina, the picture's on the sheet, but a different weapon (similar length, perhaps).

I think I will be a touch more subtle as well, but I might break out the wall breaking tool during fight scenes, if I can work it right. Glad to be here with y'all.

[Meek]

At the mention of brothel, Eirica's face burns up even hotter. Ah, I'm such a prude, but the very thought of it...I'm trained to do those sorts of things too, come on, I have to stop myself, it's something...natural...

"U-u-um, yes, t-thank you! What is your name, miss? And why do you carry such a very large sword? And how might I be of–" she claps her own hands over her mouth.

[BooNL]

Force of Nature

At the sound of another human entering, the spirit looks up, almost joyful. It moves across the room at high speed, its hand outstrecthed. "Well met honest traveler, how have you been old man?" Force of Nature hesitated, those were not the right words, that was not the conduct.

Learning the code of greeting was harder than it had assumed. There was a lot the spirit had not learned in its years of slumber.

[Threeshades]

A slight grin crosses Cezay's face. "Well being that size and with that kind of outfit, I'm sure there are one or two Halfling or Gnome Lords who'd gladly employ you." she stops for a moment. "You know, you look really professional that way. If you get my drift."

[Orran]

A half-orc stands up dropping a bag that previously held nuts and seeds behind him, he is considerably shorter than the Jotunbred maid and the living construct but considerably taller than the woman with with the sword that would of been compensating for something if a man had held it. As Rashen thinks that he look at his own sword Don't say that aloud, your swords big too. They might say stuff to you like all the other humans.

"Uh hi, I'm rashen, I'm a cleric." he says as he strides into the group standing right between Eirica and Cezay, and holding out a hand to the latter, "What do you do?" He says all of this with an honest smile and slow blinking eyes.

That went well, they must like me!!

[Threeshades]

"I'm a ranger. I range.", Cezay grins and takes the half-orc's hand. "I was starting to get bored by all that pure blooded humanity around here."

[Orran]

Rashens grin widens considerably, "Yeah half-orcs are good, but humans good too, I haven't met one of you before though, what are you? I hope you're good too."

[Threeshades]

Cezay's grin widens too: "Oh, I'm just peachy! Thanks for asking. They like to call my kind Tiefling. I have a small portion of fiendish blood in my veins. Cool, huh?"

[Orran]

Fiends, but they're evil aren't they? Can't be I suppose, he's obviously not evil. "Yeah that's cool, must be useful for... stuff" Rashen looks at his feet, trying to hide the fact that he still doesn't fully know what the ranger is, despite having had it explained. He offers his hand to the remarkably tall maid next.

"Hi, I'm rashen," he repeats "I guess you're a maid huh? My mother does that too, where do you work?"

[Meek]

Eirica takes Rashen's hand in both of hers, as she did with the Spirit. "I'm Eirica Farmann. On the subject of the race, I think I'm an 1/8th giant, the rest is human though. I'm unemployed, but I trained as a Swordsage, because no other class could really encompass what a maid does as well."

She leaves that illogical statement hanging.

[Waspinator]

You suddenly hear a voice from behind you, saying "A Swordsage, eh? I'm glad that we followed you then."

When you turn to see who it is, you discover that a rather unsightly troupe has managed to sneak up behind your group while you were talking. Two impressive-looking and tall hobgoblins, one dressed in leather and carrying two swords and the other in mail armor, stand there surrounded by six other hobgoblins with bows and swords. There are also two fiendish-looking dogs with red fur and slightly-smoking mouths.

The one with the swords continues talking:
"As I was saying, we are hear to spread the word of Tiamat. Specifically by killing anyone who does not worship her. Also, we're going to rob all of you because a goblin needs to eat, after all, and our moutains are not so great for farming. Judging from how you look, I would've guessed that you were either circus performers or elite warriors. I hate clowns, so you'd probably be in trouble anyway, but just in case it's the second, we're going to have to make sure that you don't interfere with our plans for Elsir. Kill them all! And capture that robot-looking thing. It may be valuable."

The group all draws their weapons and looks ready for battle!

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[Meek]

Eirica gasps. "Oh my...oh dear..."

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Initiative! (1d20+7)[15]

[BooNL]

Force of Nature

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Force of Nature
Initiative: -1
Hit Points: 43/43
AC: 16

Essence of the Forest
Initiative: +3
Hit Points: 18/18
AC: 17

The spirit looks slightly puzzled. It had been threatened before, but always because of some conduct it broke, never just out of the blue. It was also puzzled at the robot remark. It had heard people say that before, a robot, one child even demanded it to turn into a firetruck and called it Optimus Prime, it was very unsettling. Force of Nature was however the embodiment of the spirit of the land, animated by the nature goddess Ehlonna.

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Initiative Force - (1d20-1)[8]
Initiative Essence - (1d20+3)[12]

[Orran]

"The mighty Tiamat eh? She aint so tough" I really wish I'd studied religion a bit better, all I know is shes some kind of deity, and they just told me that.

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Initiative (1d20+1)[21]

[Bandededed]

Reia simply smiles warmly at Cezay. But as she goes to shake the robots hand, some random goblins appear. After they speak she sighs. I guess it doesn't matter what race they are, men tend to be men. Er, well, the half-orc was nice... bah. I'll think about that later

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Initiative - (1d20+4)[17]

[Threeshades]

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Initiative (1d20+4)[10]

"Haven't you considered becoming a rogue then? I mean lots of skill points to spend on stuff like proffession (housemaid) or Craft (Silver polishing)", Cezay says while reaching for her bow again, this time a bit slower and looking out for the Hobgoblins. "Or a bard, a bit useless for adventuring, yes, but still an impressive array of skill points and the bardic music would do nice to, something like Inspire Domestic Comfort for example."

[Orran]

Before the leader has the chance to order the attack Rashen invokes the name of Fharlanghn and touches his symbol that hangs around Rashen's neck. He then draws a greatsword and bellows a challenge at the hobgoblins.

Actions:

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Cast bear's endurance on self, gain 10 hitpoints.
Draw weapon.

Stats

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43hp
20 AC

[Bandededed]

Statblock:

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{table]Reia |Barbarian/Fighter/Scout 1/1/3
HP 43/43 |Init +4 |
AC/T/FF |18/13/15
Melee Atk |Fullblade: +9 - 2d8+4
Ranged |Longbow: +7 - 1d8+3
Saves |Fort +8 Ref +7 Will +2{table]

Reia cracks her neck and giggles quietly, I knew this place was in trouble. Now for some action! she thinks.

She races forward, somehow managing to clear her sword from it's sheath, and slashes at one of the hounds

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I'm moving south 3 squares and south-west 1 square, and attacking the hound south of me

Attack - (1d20+9)[12]
Damage - (2d8+4)[15]

[Meek]

"Oh, miss Reia, be careful!"

This is dangerous! But...she can't do fight all those guys alone up there, I have to do something! I might not have the best defenses and endurance, but I have to protect my guests!

Eirica looks like she's going after Reia, but at the last moment shifts towards a different enemy, drawing her shortsword as part of the movement and striking at the other hound. "On my pride as a maid, I can't let you get away with being so rude!"

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Moving Southeast 2 squares and south 1 square to end up in front of the other hound.

Stats are:

HP: 38 hp
AC: 19 (+4 armor, +5 Dex), FF14, Touch 15
Weapon: +1 Shortsword +10 melee (1d6+8, 19-20x2)
Assassin's Stance: Sneak Attack +2d6
Fort: +3
Ref: +9
Will: +4
Initiative: +7
Grapple: +5

Attack: No maneuver yet, so: (1d20+10)[23], damage (3d6+8)[20]

[Threeshades]

"Okay, so you guys want to be skewers, huh?"
Cezay draws her bow and fires an arrow at the Hobgoblin on the utmost left.

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With utmost left i mean left from cezay's view, so on the right from the hobgoblins' view.

So my actions are: Draw weapon, shoot.

Attack (with point blank shot) (1d20+10)[26]
Damage (1d8+3)[11] forgot the favored enemy bonus so the result is 13

[BooNL]

Force of Nature

Seeing the Hobgoblin's threats turn into physical danger, the Spirit lets out a sound, it was almost a sigh. The eagle on its shoulder takes flight and climbs a few feet into the air before swooping down in a charge. Force of Nature starts to hum, a strange sound that is more felt than heard, its eyes flare up and green energy shines out of cracks of its body.

A distant thunder rumbles, drawing closer in a manner of seconds. A bolt of lightning shoots out into the skirmish, smiting the mail-armor clad leader.

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Essence:

The eagle charges the closest unengaged hobgoblin. (+2 attack, -2 AC)

charge attack - (1d20+8)[25]
damage - (1d4)[2]

Force:

Since Force has the lowest initiative I'll refrain from moving just yet, I'll make a move action after I've seen where the goblins have moved.

Casts Call Lightning at the metal-clad gobhoblin.

Call Lightning - (3d6)[11]