Sparta-man: the Villain's Story.

[nobodylovesyou4]

Alright, people, listen up! those who i have invited are here to tell the story of Sparta-man, from the side of the villains. you can say whatever you want, and make any character do whatever you want, as long as you dont try to narrate another person's character. anyone who immediately knows what im talking about when i say sparta-man and the villains is the ones i invited; anyone who has no idea, might i refer you to this.

now, i will make a table (later) of the people in the game and their corresponding character. when i believe we have enough to begin, we will.

nobodylovesyou4........Corpsecraft.
PirateJesus....................Tschudy.
ahzreal..........................Azraelle.

[BizzaroStormy]

Sitting in his room, Tschudy waits anxiously for his lazy-ass friends to post in a PbP game. *click* Damnit... 50 sceonds later...*click* Damnit! 30 seconds later...*click*GODDAMNIT!!! In a fit of nerd-rage, Tschudy slices his computer monitor into several pieces with a katana he bought at GenCon. *pant pant* ... Aww hell... The phone rings Hello?...Hello? Tschudy picks up the still ringing phone Ok, Hello? Conglaturation! Your friend [Tommy] am died! A life insurance policy worth [$1.6 Billion] has been left in your name, please go to claim it at you nearest Chuck E' Cheese's location. Tschudy drops the phone on the ground, a tear running down his cheek and his body trembling, and his hand balled into fists. $1.6 billion? ... WOOOO HOOO!!! I'm RICH!!! Tschudy runs out the door and drives off in his mothers car before it fall apart 100 feet down the road, forcing him to walk.

[ahzreal]

....Ahzreal has joined the game!
(Level 10 Goth/ Level 5 Geek/ Level 12124135654366424697686543874934680249643209850762 5489743787 Gay.)
..Ahz yells, "Hellooooooooooo?"
..Ahz desperately tries to get attention.
.....Nobody hears you... loser.

[Marbit Muncher]

SUP GUYS I AM DA POPE!!! (Ahzreal's nephew)

[nobodylovesyou4]

SUP GUYS I AM DA POPE!!! (Ahzreal's nephew)

are you going to contribute or....?

[nobodylovesyou4]

Corpsecraft was rapidly approaching the house. He recognized this house as Ahz's house, however, Corpsecraft had never approached the house from this angle before. He was approaching it from above, at about a 60 degree angle. He had also never been to Ahz's in this fashion before, being without a body and all. Yes, Corpsecraft's head was hurtling rapidly towards Ahz's house. Just minutes before he had been fighting his archnemesis Sparta-man, who had kicked off Corpsecraft's head with a shout of "THIS IS SPARTA!". Corpsecraft knew he needed allies in order to defeat this hero, but where and who were questions that-

CRASH!

-Corpsecraft landed on Ahz's bed, just inches away from Ahz himself.

[ahzreal]

It was a sunny Saturday afternoon and, like all goths, Azraelle was sitting inside, avoiding said sunlight. He was in the middle of reading a book of crappy goth peotry when Tommy's.. erm.. Corpsecraft's head landed onto his bed. With a loud sigh, he set the book aside. "Again, Corpsecraft?" He asked. "It's not really polite to come barging in like that, you know." He pointed out, teasing Corpsecraft about his current state.

[nobodylovesyou4]

*ahem*. Corpsecraft cleared his throat, which was difficult, considering his throat was attached to his body. So he mostly just went *ah*. "Ahz, hello. Just thought I'd drop in. Look, you think you could take me to my body? I can't control it right now, meaning it's over a mile away. Last place I was at was... hmm..." Strange, Corpsecraft couldn't remember where he just was. Lately, all these battles had been blurring together, but this one was just recent. "Hmm... uh, it may have been at Chuck E. Cheese - don't ask. Yeah, Sparta-man has quite a kick to get my head all the way out HERE. You think you could take me there?"

[nobodylovesyou4]

because az is a dildo and did not TELL us that he was going away for as long as he is, i am going to take over his character until then. now:

Az sighs. "Tommy, why do I always have to be your errand boy, huh? Can't you get someone else to do it? Like Levi?"

"Just do it, Az. seriously."

"Alright, fine... get in the car." Az plops Corpsecraft's head into the passenger seat before getting in the driver's seat himself, and drives over to Chuck E. Cheese's.

[BizzaroStormy]

With the $1.6 billion stashed in his bank ac****, Tschudy walks outside the the Chuck E. Cheese's and spies a Barney doll lying on the ground. Must...resist urge...to...Ah **** it! Grabbing the doll, he quickly lights the doll on fire and tosses it into the ball pit in the building. A few minutes later, the guy in the mouse costume runs out of the building on fire with several screaming children bound to him with molten plastic.

[ahzreal]

Bah! You d-bags! :P I have access to the net where i'm at. >_<

[nobodylovesyou4]

As Tschudy watched the mayhem at the children's restaurant, he heard a familiar female voice behind him. "Drop your pants, Tschudy, and get on your knees." He felt a sharp pain go through his body as the end of a whip cracked into his spine. "If you value your penis, don't turn around."

[BizzaroStormy]

Sure, as long as you keep it up with that whip ...Holly.

[nobodylovesyou4]

"Chelsea?" she scoffs. "Who's Ch- oh. Right. No, not even close, Tschudy." She leans in close to Tschudy's ear. "Now, babe, tell me where I can find Tommy."

[BizzaroStormy]

Oh. He's dead.

[ahzreal]

"Okay... Corpsecraft, I gotta ask..." Ahz had become more and more curious as the silent car drive to Chuck E. Cheese's went on. "..Why were you fighting Sparta-Man in a Chuck E. Cheese's... I mean, that's kinda low brow.. even for us." Odd imagery of a walking corpse among the small children plagued Ahz's mind.

[nobodylovesyou4]

"Okay... Corpsecraft, I gotta ask..." Ahz had become more and more curious as the silent car drive to Chuck E. Cheese's went on. "..Why were you fighting Sparta-Man in a Chuck E. Cheese's... I mean, that's kinda low brow.. even for us." Odd imagery of a walking corpse among the small children plagued Ahz's mind.

"Heh. It's a LONG story, but in short, I really love skee-ball. Now shut up and drive."

Oh. He's dead.

"...What? Seriously? I..." the girl sighs. "Okay then. Nevermind. You can turn around." Tschudy turns around to reveal that the girl is none other than.... HOLLY YEUNG! DUN DUN DUN!

[nobodylovesyou4]

Tschudy, Ahz, im waiting on one of you two.

[BizzaroStormy]

Well I'm loaded thanks to him. He scratches the back of his head nervously. Listen...you wanna go buy the movie theater and catch a flick or two?

[ahzreal]

Thus, Ahz shut up and drove to the designated Chuck E. Cheese's. "Well, we're here..." Ahz says as he parks the car.

[nobodylovesyou4]

Well I'm loaded thanks to him. He scratches the back of his head nervously. Listen...you wanna go buy the movie theater and catch a flick or two?

Holly looks down at her superhero costume, which is a mix of a Japanese schoolgirl outfit and an S&M gear. She thinks for a minute, then says, "Sure, why not."

Thus, Ahz shut up and drove to the designated Chuck E. Cheese's. "Well, we're here..." Ahz says as he parks the car.

As they step out of the vehicle and approach the burning building, Corpsecraft notices something amongst the rubble. "HEY!" he cries out. "Body! Over here!" His body stands up and waltzes over to them, where Corpsecraft's two distinct pieces are lovingly reunited. "Very good. Now we need to get Beard-O, so we can kill Sparta-man, or something."

[nobodylovesyou4]

During all this, Mrs. King was back at her house, covering her ears with her hands. For a week, her son had been in his room, blaring that music, and not coming out for anything, not even to eat. Little did she know, Justin had been dancing for Avenged Sevenfold for a week to celebrate a recent revelation he had.

2 years ago, Justin King had been an average student at KHS, the same school that Tommy and Logan had attended. It was there he met a girl, a girl by the name of Lindsey, and they immedietly hit it off. For 2 years, they had had some great times (REALLY great times, if you know what I mean); but a few months ago, she had left him for another. Justin was cast into a deep depression until a week ago, when he learned that the one who had caused him so much angst had recently been killed in a tragic giant robot spider accident. So he had spent all his time since then in his room, blaring Avenged Sevenfold through his speakers, dancing in his underwear. Normally, he would avoid Avenged Sevenfold for the painful memories that it brought back, but nothing could bring him down at this point. Or so he thought...

His door was suddenly busted open. Justin quickly rushed to put some pants on, but he was too slow. He stood there in his underwear, staring at his mom, who was holding the phone in her outstretched hand. "Justin," she said, "It's for you."

Justin turned off the music and took the phone. "Thanks, mom," he said. She left him to his own devices; she didnt want to see him in his underwear any more than she had to. Justin immedietly knew who was on the other line, and he expected to hear her crying about Tommy. On any other day, that would make him feel terrible, but today was different: nothing could bring him down. "Hello, Lindsey," he said as he held the phone up to his ear.
"Justin! Did you hear the news?" He was surprised to hear ecstatic glee in her voice, but carried on nonetheless: "Tommy's dead? I know!"
"No, not that. The thing is, he's NOT dead!"
Justin dropped the phone but quickly managed to catch it. His entire facade of "happiness" had just been shattered. "Lindsey, I-I need to g-g-go," he stuttered before hanging up the phone.

Justin ran his hands through his hair. How could it be? He had attended the funeral with Lindsey, he had seen his corpse in the casket, and he had seen the casket lowered into the ground... it didn't matter. All that mattered was that Tommy had returned. Justin knew something must be done, and he knew exactly what to do...

Justin reached under his bed and pulled out a box. "They laughed when I bought this instant-ninja kit," he said. He looked at the lid. It read "Ryu Hayabusa's Instant Ninja Starter Kit. For all your ninja needs!" Justin tore the lid off and threw it aside. Inside were three things: a Ninja-to, the traditional sword of the ninja, which felt heavy in Justin's hands. He knew he would need extensive training to properly wield this. Also in the box was a red headband, to tie around your head for the mysterious ninja look. Justin tied that around his head as he took out the third item: a small piece of parchment which read as follows:

Hello, this is Ryu Hayabusa, and I want to thank you for buying my ninja starter kit. These are the three reasons people become ninjas:
1. Their clan or village was destroyed and they seek vengeance (that wasn't it, Justin's family was still alive.)
2. They need some money on the side and heard that ninja-ing paid well (it does? oh well, Justin has bigger things to worry about.)
3. Their archenemy turns out to not be dead (bingo!)
Whatever the reason, please chant these words out loud:

Justin read the words off the page. "Mecha lecha hi mecha hiney ho. Mecha lecha hi mecha ninja ho-" as soon as the final syllable left his lips, Justin felt himself coursing with power. He looked down at the sword in his hands: what had before seemed so foreign, now felt like an extension of his body. He clicked the sword into the scabbard on his back, and put on some black clothes. "Now, Tommy, you will suffer for all the anguish you have caused me," he whispered to himself. He jumped out the window, slid down the side of his neighbors house, lept off, tumbled into the street, and dashed off into the night, ready to exact his revenge.

[ahzreal]

Ahz shuddered and shoook his head to rid himself of the feeling. "Whoa.. Corpsecraft... Did you just feel that?" Ahz looks around nervously. "It just felt like one of our possible rivals has gained an untold amount of power over the course of a few seconds.."

[nobodylovesyou4]

"What? No, ahz, you just got an erection from thinking about me naked. That's what that was." Corpsecraft pulls out his gun, reloads, and thinks to himself. "Now, Ahz, any idea where Sparta-man might be?"

During all this, Logan Lawson and Sharese Behny are with their friend, and Justin's ex, Lindsey, at the mall. They are sitting in the overstuffed chairs at the coffee shop, Sharese sitting on Logan's lap, Lindsey sitting across from them, and no one is really saying anything. "So..." says Logan. "Anyone wanna make a suggestion?"

PS: Ahz, you can advance the story by taking over for the other characters. Just don't type as Corpsecraft or Beard-O. Tschudy, same for you, but dont type as Azraelle.

[nobodylovesyou4]

anyone going to post?

[BizzaroStormy]

Tschudy walks out of the movie theater, Holly on his arm and his foot firmly up the ass of the manager. $7.50 for a ticket? You expect people to pay that AND $12 for a tub of popcorn? GTFO! He kicks the manager off of his foot, his shoe now covered in blood and feces. Great...now I need new shoes. But first I need some wheels. He walks into the closest car dealership and walks back out with the deed and his clean foot up the owner's ass. He kicks the manger off his foot before taking off his shoes and stepping into a brand new mustang and driving over to the good mall.

[nobodylovesyou4]

Tschudy and Holly wander the mall for a while, before hearing a scream come from behind them. They turn around to see Lindsey running towards them, and she wraps her arms around Holly. "Hollykins!" she cries. "I haven't seen you in so long!"

Around that time, Corpsecraft and Ahz arrive at the mall. "What are we doing here, Ahz?" Corpsecraft asks. "Well," Ahz responds, "I need to get some goth accessories for my goth costume."

Also at that time, Justin is dashing through the streets being a freakin' sweet ninja. He pulls out his compass which, instead of saying N, W, E, or S, simply says "A" - for archenemy. The arrow points in the direction of Markland street, so Justin quickly takes off for that location.

[ahzreal]

A few moments later, Ahz had led Corpsecraft into Hot Topic. "Corpsecraaaaaft..." Ahz whined in a girly voice. "Do these Tripps make my butt look fat?" Ahz was now posing in front of Tommy to get his opinion. "And does this fishnet shirt accent my curves enough?" He asked yet another question. "And what about this new collar tag? Is it... sppoky enough?"

[nobodylovesyou4]

"Yeah, its, uh, goth. Look, Ahz, we need to - " Corpsecraft stopped talking suddenly, staring straight out into the mall at the throng of people, at one in particular. "Logan," he simply said, before darting out into the mall. He threw off his overcoat and hat, which he was wearing to cover his stitched body, pulled out his Tommy Gun, at pointed it at Logan. "Logan! Over here!" Corpsecraft opened fire, just narrowly missing Logan, Lindsey, Sharese, and Holly, as they dove behind a cell phone kiosk. "Goddamn, I'm a terrible shot. Ahz, I need some support out here!" The crowd scatters, everything shrieking and diving for cover, when Corpsecraft notices Tschudy standing before him. "Ah, Beard-O, good. You can help me kill Logan."

[BizzaroStormy]

Tschudy rushes over to the cell phone kiosk where the girls are crouched in fear. He is holding and RPG with a red dolored rocket in it. Dude, I just got this from some raspy-voice austrailian in a trench coat. And it only cost me one million. Accidentally, he fires a rocket into the air which flies straight into the ceiling, exploding and causing a bunch of ceiling tiles to fall on Logan and Corpsecraft. Holy crap! That was awesome! he says turning to face the pile and accidently firing another rocket deep into the mall. A raspy scream is heard as what looks like a tommy gun flies throught the air, spraying easily 500 rounds in random directions, well beyond its clip limit.

((If you don't get the reference, I'll shiv you in the bullocks.))