Sparta-man: the Villain's Story.

[Lord Tataraus]

Corpsecraft steps through the opened door and into a vacant room except for an old umbrella stand with a window opening with a few shards of glass left in stuck in the frame and a broken down door to the outside. Two other rooms are in the small house, all of which are equally empty. Looking outside, an endless moor can be seen. Corpsecraft gazes out into the moor, trying to see if there is anything around, but there is nothing. Ahz and Bread-O walk out of the basement and begin to survey the room. A loud banging can be heard that is accompanied by a cloud of dust as Ahz trips over the umbrella stand making those in the room jump. As Ahz mutters a sorry as he picks himself up and looks over at the umbrella stand which hasn't moved from its original location. At the same time Spartaman walks into the room followed by a one-armed Ninjato who is fascinated by his stump of an arm which is inexplicably not bleeding, in fact where flesh, muscle and bone should be showing is just white blank.

[nobodylovesyou4]

Corpsecraft looks back at Ninjato. "Well," he says. "It looks like we're temporarily allies. Sorry about your arm..." Corpsecraft notices the void on his stump. "Nevermind. Did no one wake Spartaman?" As he says this, Spartaman stumbles out of the basement and into the room. "Nevermind again." Corpsecraft looks around. *ahem* "Timon! Can you hear us? Some assistance would be nice."

[ahzreal]

"Bah.. umbrella stand.." Ahz looks around. "What the hell would anyone need an umbrella in this place for?" Ahz kicks it, trying to knock it over. "Where the hell are we, the void?"

[Lord Tataraus]

Ahz kicks the umbrella stand which promptly deteriorates into a pedestal of marble. Then, as if bleeding from the pedestal the room, building and moor deteriorate into the dungeon of a castle, much like Lord Tataraus's castle. A door (formerly the front door of the building) is open as two gold-robed monks carry a trunk out of the room "That's the last one, we better get this to the jet fast, those guys are creeping me out, you sure the Lord's emergency illusion is working?" "Yeah, they didn't even see us, you can see their eyes are blank. The illusion should last long enough for us to get out and hopefully they'll kill each other off or something before trying to catch up." "Whatever, just make sure to turn on the gas after you close the door." The door closes and a click can be heard followed by a faint hissing sound.

[nobodylovesyou4]

As everything fades back to normal, Corpsecraft's arm is replaced with his own, and Ninjato's stump grows a brand new limb. Corpsecraft's face turns red. Really red. Like, . Which is weird, because that requires blood, which he doesn't have a whole lot of. Corpsecraft can feel an undeniable fury building up in his chest. His breathing grows heavy. Then, all at once, he screams
ARRRRGGGHHH!!!!! TIMON!!!!!
He rushes forward and slams into both monks, sending them crashing to the ground. He rips them both to pieces with his bare hands, and he doesn't even think twice before shoveling their intestines into his mouth and chomping down like so many zombie movies before. "I am a zombie!" He shouts. "Why didn't I do this a long time ago?"

[nobodylovesyou4]

um.
****.
http://www.whirled.com/#games-d_827

[BizzaroStormy]

Beardo walks up to the door the monks put the box in with a blank look on his face, save for a twitchy eye. He grabs it with his beardacles and pulls, attempting to rip if from its hinges...or the wall, whichever gives way first.

[Lord Tataraus]

The box rips apart sending gold-colored bricks flying.

Meanwhile, Corpsecraft begins to rampage through the mansion but finds no one around until he reaches the roof where a large helicopter is being loaded with boxes. Four gold-robed monks quickly react to Corpsecraft's arrival with drawn nagamaki and attempt to keep him at bay as the helicopter prepares to leave...

[nobodylovesyou4]

The monks begin to hack into Corpsecraft, but he doesn't even notice as his limbs are hacked off. He simply runs up to the monks and sinks his teeth into one of their throats, tearing it out and devouring it. The other monks look a bit wary of Corpsecraft, but charge in anyway. With the one arm Corpsecraft has yet, he rips into one's gut and disembowels him as he sinks his teeth into the other's face; the fourth monk throws down his sword and flees at the sight. Corpsecraft puts his arm back on, picks up a sword, and leaps up to the helicopter, managing to grab onto the feet (or whatever) and climbing aboard.

[ahzreal]

Ahz has his spiders swarm the helicopter, making them attack the pilots. Before climbing aboard behind corpsecraft.

[ahzreal]

*cricket-sounds*)

[nobodylovesyou4]

timon claims hell post soon... well just have to wait and see.

[Lord Tataraus]

OOC: sorry, I had trouble connecting to the internet.

Corpsecraft and Ahz climb aboard the helicopter and are met by two more monks, but are easily thrown aside by the spiders. The cargo bay is stocked full of boxes with only the copilot and pilot left in the copter until they hastily don parachutes and escape while beeting back any rogue spiders. Unfortunately, it seems that the helicopter is still ascending and at a rapidly increasing rate.

[ahzreal]

"Umm, Corpsecraft, do you know how to fly a helicopter?" Ahz says, getting worried as the ground begins to disappear below them. Ahz looks around the cockpit (lol, cockpit XD) and finds what he was looking for. He flips the kill switch for the engine. "There we g..." *WHAMP* "..o." Ahz says with a smile as the helicopter falls to the helipad and slides several feet.

[nobodylovesyou4]

Corpsecraft braces for impact, then glares at Ahz. "Why did you ask me to fly the helicopter and then throw it to the ground? God..." Corpsecraft steps out and has a look around, only to find...

[ahzreal]

...nothing, because there's nothing to be found on the abandoned helipad. "Hey, Corpsecraft, look at what I found on the helicopter!" Ahz holds up a mask. "Wonder what it is?..." Ahz puts it on. ::Disguising as Enemy DM..:: Suddenly Ahz looks exactly like Lord Tatarus. "Huh.. guess it doesn't do anything.." Ahz sighs, unable to see the change himself. "Oh well, i'll bet it looks super-cool, right Corpsecraft?"

[nobodylovesyou4]

Corpsecraft stares blankly at Ahz as he removes the mask. "Ahzreal, you're a genius. I think I've just got a brilliant plan...."

Corpsecraft gathers the other two in a huddle and fills them in on the plan.

[ahzreal]

(Waits for the infamous line by Corpsecraft..)

[nobodylovesyou4]

"Alright, Ahz.... here's the plan." Corpsecraft begins. "First, we must kidnap Sharese. Not so much out of necessity, but out of formality. Second, you are going to disguise yourself as Timon and make him look bad. When he comes to check out what's going down, we jump out and kick his ass. Ready? And... BREAK!"

[ahzreal]

Ahz nods and puts on the Spy mask, disguising as Lord Tatarus. "Now... how to make Tatarus look REALLY bad..." Ahz ponders as he walks away. Several moments later, Ahz was in the GAYEST bar in the world. "Hi, everyone! I'm like, Lord Tatarus. Like, gay.. Like, not boobs... Like, men... Men goooood.. Women baaaad..." Giggling, Ahz runs from the bar, knocking several people out of the way. He returns to Corpsecraft's side another few moments later. "So, ya... I think his reputation is pretty much GONE." Ahz giggles.

[nobodylovesyou4]

Ahz nods and puts on the Spy mask, disguising as Lord Tatarus. "Now... how to make Tatarus look REALLY bad..." Ahz ponders as he walks away. Several moments later, Ahz was in the GAYEST bar in the world. "Hi, everyone! I'm like, Lord Tatarus. Like, gay.. Like, not boobs... Like, men... Men goooood.. Women baaaad..." Giggling, Ahz runs from the bar, knocking several people out of the way. He returns to Corpsecraft's side another few moments later. "So, ya... I think his reputation is pretty much GONE." Ahz giggles.

Corpsecraft stares blankly at Ahz. "Ahz. I mean more like, make him look bad to EVERYONE. Some people may be annoyed by the fact that he's a homo, but I mean more like, kill puppies and rape babies and stuff. Jeez..."

[ahzreal]

"Ew! I'm not gonna rape babbys or kill puppies!" Ahz sniffles sadly.

[nobodylovesyou4]

Corpsecraft sighs. "Okay, then we'll just kidnap Sharese. Back to square effing one..." He looks around at the surrounding landscape. "But where are we?"

[ahzreal]

"The gay bar and generic small town that was conveniently attached to the side of Lord Tatarus's fortress, duh." Ahz rolls his eyes. Corpsecraft was sooooooo slow somtimes!

[nobodylovesyou4]

Corpsecraft looks out at the town and realizes that it is, in fact, Kokomo. "Huh, I wonder why I never noticed this fortress before?" As soon as he says it, it disappears. They fall.

[ahzreal]

"Umumumumumumuuuuumm.... Spiders! I command you to create a physically impossible parachute that defies all the laws of physics to float is into the town. They do so, because this is a comic-book based game, therefore possible. The "heroes" float safely to Kokomo.

[nobodylovesyou4]

(oh, sorry, its up to me to advance this. sorry.)

"Well." Corpsecraft says. "Back to square ****ing one. Any suggestions for our next plan?"

[ahzreal]

"We should... kidnap Sharese!" Ahz smiles.

[nobodylovesyou4]

"Great plan, Ahz!"
Three hours later, they find themselves carrying a tied-up Sharese over their heads to god knows where...