Trust issues

[Purple Cloak]

I'm just wondering if people can give me some advise on this.

As the title of the thread implys I have MAJOR trust issues, I have problems trusting people and I suspect ulterior motives and betrayal constanly, the people in my collge course know little more about me than my name and the person I would consider my best freind knows little more about me than my hobbies and ambitions.

Now as this probably makes quite obious i'm very secretive, and have few freinds because I keep people at a distance.

Now the thing I realy want to ask about is this, As is quite clear, i'm not happy being so paranoid, so can anyone offer any advise to help me, break down a few walls so to speak?

[Player_Zero]

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I'd be a hippo crate to advise. But I assume if you spend more time with people then you'll become closer and thus distrust less.

[SDF]

I would recommend setting up a meeting with a councilor or therapist and try to talk it out. If you are willing joining school clubs and organizations could help.

Do you have trouble talking to new people about things in general, or is it specifically paranoia as it pertains to yourself?

[Purple Cloak]

One of the things though if as i mentoned my course, i've spent a year around these people and they still know nothing about me.

Although considering we both live in nottingham and looking at the time I guess we can add insomnia to our list of problems.

Edit: I realy think its a case of I don't like shareing things about myself, although I could be wrong as I strugle with strangers too.

[Player_Zero]

Hey, I wiv in Nottingham! You can be my fwiend.

[Purple Cloak]

In all honisty I suspect we may know each other and not know it, assuming you frequented Traveling man or Games workshop Nottingaham

[Player_Zero]

I don't go out of the house. I'd know if we knew each other.

...I've technically known lotsa' spaghetti people for years and yet don't actually know much about them too. Maybe it's a crazy Nottingham-person thing.

We should start a club. With blackjack. And hookers.

[xPANCAKEx]

Hey, I wiv in Nottingham! You can be my fwiend.

possible bad taste joke alert

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careful, hes out to stalk you. RUN WHILE YOU CAN.

but its good that you acknowledge that you have a problem. That really is the first step.

It might be worth taking time to consider why you have such issues in the first place. I know this sounds a bit blasé, but take the time. Does it stem from a number of past incidents, or a single moment?

It would definately be worth seeking PROFESSIONAL help - either a councillor at college, or outside if you can afford to so.

[Emperor Ing]

Join the club!
Here, we discuss what is relevent to our interests, and NEVER give away our darkest secrets.

[Purple Cloak]

Join the club!
Here, we discuss what is relevent to our interests, and NEVER give away our darkest secrets.

Heh, probably why I like it here.

[Collin152]

We should start a club. With blackjack. And hookers.

In fact, forget the club.

[Emperor Ing]

well, nobody is forcing you to at least. And even if you do, nobody (unless you know a playgrounder IRL) knows who you are.

We should start a club. With blackjack. And hookers.

My previous comment is irrelevent to that comment

[Player_Zero]

I call president!

Excellent...


...So... Noone has any real advice, then?

Maybe we should wait until morning when all the sane people arrive.

[Emperor Ing]

I'm so untrusting, everyone around me IRL knows I have a comic, but they haven't seen a single strip.

[Purple Cloak]

Hows this for paranoid, I own a kevlar vest!

Although Randomiser, thats not that paranoid, they are aware of its existance.

[Player_Zero]

Do you own it because you're afraid of being shot, or because it's neat?

...Knife crime is more prominent around these parts anyway....

Also, I don't go outside. How's that for paranoid.

The outside is much too scary. Last time I went out unaccompanied was never.

But at least we have each other.

[xPANCAKEx]

im not sure how legal owning bullet proofs are at the moment

but as i said before - seek professional help. And stop reading the tabloids. They sensationalise everything, blowing it all WAAAAY out of proportion, because they know it will sell papers

[Player_Zero]

Wait... What do tabloids have to do with anything?

...I don't think we're talking about CONSPIRACY here. We're talking about lack of trust. Somewhat different.


P.S. INBOU.

[Recaiden]

Most people aren't going to kill or permanently injure you, so you can recover from trusting people in the event that it is a mistake. Just spend more time around and talking to people. If you think you know people, it will be easier to trust them.

[xPANCAKEx]

a lot of people are worried about knife/gun crime when it really is a small minority - yet the media (tabloid papers especially) have hyped it up and make it sound as if there is a knife weilding hoodie on every corner. So really, unless you're in S.O.19, or the armed forced, there really isn't much need for a kevlar vest in the uk

the point i was trying to make is this: don't let their sensationalism feed your paranoia (and purple cloak did say he was paranoid). If you a predisposed to hightened anxiety/paranoia, then remove the things that could make it worse, at least until you have reconciled your issues to be able to handle such things.

But to be fair, none of us should read tabloids for the simpel fact that they are RUBBISH

[Player_Zero]

In my case, I don't think it's the threat of physical harm from the people that already know, but rather the fear of emotional pain and/or rejection.

Though, yeah, irrational fear is irrational when it comes to strangers. Mostly, at any rate... Most people in Nottingham are a bunch of skcirp from what I can gather from my citadel.

[Purple Cloak]

But to be fair, none of us should read tabloids for the simpel fact that they are RUBBISH

It's realy a good thing I don't then, then again I tend not to keep up with the news these days.

Although Player Zero, I can't comment because i don't know what that means, but i've been threatened with weapons enough times to be aware of the dangers, but theirs also likly the fear of somthing which prevents me from making conections in the first place.

[smellie_hippie]

...So... Noone has any real advice, then?

Maybe we should wait until morning when all the sane people arrive.

Sane person to the rescue?

Just kidding.

You say that you have issues trusting people with any relevant information about you, beyond your name and possibly some of your hobbies. You went on to mention that you see ulterior motives and mischief behind everyone else's actions and statements.

Well, maybe it's best to test your theory about how other people will treat learning information about you. Talk to your best friend during your next encounter with him/her, and mention something about yourself in casual conversation. Something small and innocuous... like a favorite food or a dislike of something. Make sure it's nothing that if it became public knowledge you would not feel devastated or compulsed to never speak to him/her again.

Now let that sit for a while, and see if this comment finds it's way back to you through any other circle. If it doesn't, than consider the fact that some people who would like to be a friend just want to know about you, and have no ulterior motives. I know that's a jump, but take it slowly... if the first step works, try it again with something a bit more personal (but still well within your comfort zone).

[Tempest Fennac]

I tend to be like that as well in regards to trusting people (personal experience has taught me that trusting people can often be a huge mistake). Smellie_hippie's advice is probably worth trying if you want to be more trusting, though.