Shippingitp III: We Make Love (And Sometimes War)

[Dirk Kris]

Reinholdt, I totally melted when I read that - I loves it!

I'm gonna try to write my first songfic today - I heard a song on the radio on the way home and it stayed in my head all night. I woke up at 1 AM and went - OMG, Rabbit's song for Mordy. I hope it doesn't disappoint.

[TwoBitWriter]

Reinholdt, I totally melted when I read that - I loves it!

I'm gonna try to write my first songfic today - I heard a song on the radio on the way home and it stayed in my head all night. I woke up at 1 AM and went - OMG, Rabbit's song for Mordy. I hope it doesn't disappoint.

I don't believe that you could ever manage that, Dirk.

I wish I could fit you into MAT Squad without being a Red Shirt...

[Cristo Meyers]

As much as I enjoy being in the spotlight, the fic was interesting for reasons beyond that

Suuuuuurrrrreeeee...

Narrator: ...and Mordokai's ego grew three sizes that day...

Why do people enjoy reading it? Could it be, oh I don't know, because you're a great writer?

Yeah, well, I...err...you...no...umm...

...crap, happy place, happy place...

...ah!

Flattery will get you everywhere

From the happy place! Score!

[UncleWolf]

@Reinholdt: That was pretty funny, but at the same time sad.
It was great though.

[Mordokai]

Suuuuuurrrrreeeee...

Narrator: ...and Mordokai's ego grew three sizes that day...

And yet, they still needed magnifying glass to find it

[UncleWolf]

And yet, they still needed magnifying glass to find it

Great, now someone is going to do a "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" ship. I can see it now...
Mordokai is The Grinch and Cristo is Max the dog. He could possible play Cindy-Lou Who depending on which personality you use.

[Cristo Meyers]

Great, now someone is going to do a "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" ship. I can see it now...
Mordokai is The Grinch and Cristo is Max the dog. He could possible play Cindy-Lou Who depending on which personality you use.

When this happens...and it will, because you've brought it up...I swear I'm going to hurt you...

[UncleWolf]

When this happens...and it will, because you've brought it up...I swear I'm going to hurt you...

It'll be worth it though.

[Mordokai]

Pst! Hey Wolfie! I suggest you start running.

[TwoBitWriter]

Pst! Hey Wolfie! I suggest you start running.

Running? You mean.... Shadowrunning?

[Mordokai]

Cristo, you get Wolfbane, I get TBW. Deal?

[Cristo Meyers]

*brandishes a pair of clippers*

It'll be worth it though.

This would be less wince-inducing if it weren't for the fact that I really don't have any idea as to when or how I've giving Mi'ir his body back...

[UncleWolf]

Okay, here is my latest attempt at a ship.

Tears in the Rain

Starring-FF Fanboy/Reinholdt/TwoBitWriter/CurlyKitGirl(mentioned)/Dragonrider(mentioned)/and RHL(referred to but not quite mentioned)

Warning: This is a very long one.

Spoiler

Show

There was water pouring in from the holes in the moldy ceiling of the hideout as Fanboy stood over the body of his last bounty. It was the third in a series of four.

A pity that it had chosen so beautiful of a form. Fortunately, the body was already decomposing so he wouldn't have to look at it any longer. It had been a long mission, but thankfully all he had left was one more doppleganger left to kill. Then it'd be over.

If he lived.

There was a bang at the end of the hall he was standing in as the door was slammed open.
It was his bounty!
He raised his crossbow and fired.
TWANG!
Unfortunately, the creature was too fast and swiftly moved into an adjoining room.
“Not very sporting to fire at an unarmed opponent."

Why wasn’t he dead yet? The Innkeeper was supposed to poison the freak of nature. Could it be immune? Fanboy moved closer to the wall separating the them so he could hear what was going on.
"I know what you are thinking. 'Shouldn't he be poisoned?' The good thing for you is yes, it did work."
The bad news is that I'm going to kill you before it kills me.
So, come on, Fanboy.
Wait a second, something is wrong here.
Show me…
Fanboy suddenly realizes that he is standing too close to the wall and tries to get away when a hand punches through and starts to pull his arm through.
…what you’re made of!"
He struggles to get his arm out, but the creature is too strong and his arm is pulled through the wall.
"Proud of yourself, little human?"
He feels his fingers forced open and his crossbow taken away.
"This is for DR!"
His pinky breaks.
Gahh!
"This is for Curly."
Followed by his ring finger.
Arrgh!
His hand is let go and he takes his arm out of the hole. He then draws his spare crossbow with his left hand.
"Come on, Fanboy...
I’m right here…
Fanboy could have heard that sneer a mile away.
but all you gotta do...is shoot straight."
Hoping to at least nick him, he takes a shot.
THWICK
But unfortunately, he misses his target.
Curses!
He is unable to get off a second shot as the creature moves out of sight beyond the hole.
"But straight doesn’t seem good enough!
Reinholdt cracks his fingers and pops his neck.
Now, it’s my turn.
Seeing this as his chance, Fanboy runs through the hallways, desperately searching for a way out.
"Gotta keep moving, gotta get out. If I can get out, the poison should kill him before he can hurt anyone else."
I’m going to give you a few seconds before I come."
"One…Two…
Fleeing, Fanboy runs through a random door and finds a ladder leading up to the floor above him. Even though he desperately wanted to leave, it was the only way to buy time for the poison to do its job.

Reinholdt leans down and kisses Curly's cold forehead.
Three…f-four…
*sniff*

Even though his arm is filled with throbbing pain, Fanboy straightens out his fingers.
Gaaahhh!

AAAAROOOOOO!
"I’m coming, Fanboy! he shouts as he runs through the halls of the warehouse hunting his would be hunter.
Four…five?"
Fanboy winces as he flexes his now straightened fingers and starts to climb the ladder.
"How to stay alive!"Aroooo!

Startled by how much closer the howl was, Fanboy's grip slips and he drops his crossbow halfway up the ladder. He is almost through the hole when Reinholdt catches up and sees him through a nearby hole in the wall.

"I can see you Fanboy!"
Arooooo!

Fanboy finally reaches the floor above(after much difficulty of course) hole and takes the time to sit on a bathtub and bandage his hand when he suddenly hears the sound of tiles cracking from nearby.
Wha…
Kyaa!
Reinholdt’s head bursts through the thin wall barely a foot from where he was sitting.

Not stunned the slightest, Reinholdt grins.
"You better get it up! Or I’m going to have to kill you!"

Fanboy frantically searches for a weapon as Reinholdt begins to get his head out of a wall. Fanboy spots a broken table nearby and begins to pry a leg off.

"Unless you’re alive…you can’t play! And if you can’t play…"

Fanboy barely finishes pulling off the leg as Reinholdt finally pulls his head out of the wall and enters through the door smiling like a cat who has just finished playing with his food.

Six…Seven!
Go to hell or go to heaven!

Fanboy screams as he hits Reinholdt with the table leg with all of his strength.
Go to hell!

Reinholdt is forcibly knocked into a wall with an audible crunch. It was a good hit, too bad the sound was only the plaster and tiles on the wall breaking.
"Good job! That’s the spirit!" he said as he shook the dust out of his hair.

Shocked, Fanboy crawls out onto a nearby window ledge and makes his way to his only salvation.
The roof.


That was irrational of you. Not to mention…unsportsmanlike."

"Where are you going Fanboy?
There is nothing up there except the...Oh."
A smirk appears on his face as he realizes what Fanboy is doing.
"See you soon."
With that, he ducks back inside.

The stones were slick, the edges sharp, and the going hard, but after much effort, Fanboy finally reaches the rooftop and starts to look for an escape hatch.
After a few minutes of searching, he finds one. He runs to it and is almost to the door only to see Reinholdt swing it open and block his path with an evil grin plastered to his smug face.
"Peek-a-boo."

Fanboy panics and runs towards the edge of the roof. He tries to leap to another building, but slips right as he jumps and the jump falls short. He is just lucky enough to catch the edge.

He hears the sound of running and sees Reinholdt jump the ten foot gap with ease. He looks up to see the creature crouched above him smiling. All he can do is hold on for his dear life and listen to what Reinholdt says next.

"It's quite an experience to live in fear, isn’t it?
He shakes his head sadly as if remembering a painful experience.
That’s…what it is…to be a slave."
Fanboy's fingers finally give in to the strain forced onto them. His grip slips and he starts to plummet when Reinholdt suddenly catches his arm and pulls him to the safety of the rooftop.

Shocked and scared witless, Fanboy can only think of one thing to say.
"Why?"

Reinholdt leans over him and sighs.

"I’ve…seen things..." He said mournfully in the cold rain.
"…that you people wouldn’t believe.
He stands up and turns his back to Fanboy as he gestures.
"I've watched attack ships catch on fire off the coast of Orion.
I’ve seen fireballs flare up in the night near Baulder’s Gate."
His shoulders droop as he turns around to face Fanboy again.
All those…m-moments will be lost…
in time…like…
He looks up into the rain for a moment before he continues.
lost...like...
He smiles for a final time as he looks upon Fanboy.
tears…in the rain."
He sits down facing Fanboy, still holding that same smile.
"Time…t-to die…"

thud

An hour later, the storm breaks and dawn rises from the east as Fanboy hears footsteps coming closer.

Twoby?"
A man with dark hair and wearing a dark plum coat smirks down at him.
"You’ve done a man’s job, sir. I guess you’re through, huh?"

A battered, bruised, and broken Fanboy groans as he stands up and looks Twoby in the eyes.
"Finished."

Twoby stares at him for a second then he nods in understanding. He tosses Fanboy his crossbow and turns to walk away.

But his steps falter and he stops. He looks over his shoulder at Fanboy with a gaze that shows that he fully understands what he went through.
"It’s too bad she won’t live."

He shakes his head and slowly turns away.
"But then again...
...who does?"

There is the sound of his cane tapping as he abandons Fanboy on the rooftop. Then...

silence.

-end-

Special thanks to TwoBitWriter for the much needed advice.

(@RHL: You are the one he is referring to at the end)

[Dirk Kris]

I Don't Care (song - I Don't Care - Apocalyptica f/ Adam from 3 Days Grace

Spoiler

Show

I try to make it through my life
In my way - there's you
I try to make it through these lies
That's all I do

Just don't deny it
Just don't deny it
And deal with it
Yeah, deal with it

The skeletal horse's hooves drummed out a beat on the ground. Rabbit rode and rode, trying to outrun her thoughts, the memory of Mordokai - alive! It seemed no matter what she did, she came back to him. And apparently he didn't have the same problem - he'd already picked up some floozy.

You try to break me
You wanna break me
Bit by bit
That's just part of it

If you were dead or still alive,
I don't care,
I don't care,
Just go and leave this all behind
'Cuz I swear,
I don't care.

She told herself that over and over again, that she didn't care. As if repetition would make it true. He had made her weak, damn his soul! She refused to feel that way again. He wanted to save her, redeem her. It was far too late for that. The wind blew the hair back from her face. It was cold, too cold to ride for long, but she had long since felt numb.

I try to make you see my side
I always try to stay in line
But you're eyes see right through
That's all they do
I'm getting buried in this place
I've got no room, you're in my face
Don't say anything
Just go away.

She saw other travelers on the road ahead and veered her mount into the woods - she didn't want to see or deal with anyone right now. That one moment of paralyzing fear made her hate herself - she needed to seethe in that for a while.

If you were dead or still alive,
I don't care,
I don't care,
Just go and leave it all behind
Cuz I swear,
I don't care

I'm changing everything
You won't be there for me

Dead leaves on nearly bare branches scratched her face - she ignored them, consumed in her turmoil. She had to get rid of him, and killing him clearly hadn't worked. Bloody tears rolled freely down her cheeks.

If you were dead or still alive,
I don't care,
I don't care,
Just go and leave it all behind
Cuz I swear,
I don't care

If you were dead or still alive,
I don't care
I don't care
Just go and leave it all behind
Cuz I swear,
I don't care.

Rabbit yanked on the reins of her mount, pulling it to a sudden halt, leaving skid marks in the dirt. She was next to a stream and caught sight of her reflection. Slowly, a thought occurred to her.

The girl.

It was perfect. She had a plan now. A frightening, dangerous smile formed on her lips. She slowly dragged her fingers across her cheeks, leaving bloody smears like war paint all over her face. Her eyes shone through, bright beneath the crimson mask.

At all.

(Aw, crap - why'd I have to post right after such an awesome fic?! Kudos to Wolfbane for such a great job!)

[TwoBitWriter]

I Don't Care (song - I Don't Care - Apocalyptica f/ Adam from 3 Days Grace

Spoiler

Show

I try to make it through my life
In my way - there's you
I try to make it through these lies
That's all I do

Just don't deny it
Just don't deny it
And deal with it
Yeah, deal with it

The skeletal horse's hooves drummed out a beat on the ground. Rabbit rode and rode, trying to outrun her thoughts, the memory of Mordokai - alive! It seemed no matter what she did, she came back to him. And apparently he didn't have the same problem - he'd already picked up some floozy.

You try to break me
You wanna break me
Bit by bit
That's just part of it

If you were dead or still alive,
I don't care,
I don't care,
Just go and leave this all behind
'Cuz I swear,
I don't care.

She told herself that over and over again, that she didn't care. As if repetition would make it true. He had made her weak, damn his soul! She refused to feel that way again. He wanted to save her, redeem her. It was far too late for that. The wind blew the hair back from her face. It was cold, too cold to ride for long, but she had long since felt numb.

I try to make you see my side
I always try to stay in line
But you're eyes see right through
That's all they do
I'm getting buried in this place
I've got no room, you're in my face
Don't say anything
Just go away.

She saw other travelers on the road ahead and veered her mount into the woods - she didn't want to see or deal with anyone right now. That one moment of paralyzing fear made her hate herself - she needed to seethe in that for a while.

If you were dead or still alive,
I don't care,
I don't care,
Just go and leave it all behind
Cuz I swear,
I don't care

I'm changing everything
You won't be there for me

Dead leaves on nearly bare branches scratched her face - she ignored them, consumed in her turmoil. She had to get rid of him, and killing him clearly hadn't worked. Bloody tears rolled freely down her cheeks.

If you were dead or still alive,
I don't care,
I don't care,
Just go and leave it all behind
Cuz I swear,
I don't care

If you were dead or still alive,
I don't care
I don't care
Just go and leave it all behind
Cuz I swear,
I don't care.

Rabbit yanked on the reins of her mount, pulling it to a sudden halt, leaving skid marks in the dirt. She was next to a stream and caught sight of her reflection. Slowly, a thought occurred to her.

The girl.

It was perfect. She had a plan now. A frightening, dangerous smile formed on her lips. She slowly dragged her fingers across her cheeks, leaving bloody smears like war paint all over her face. Her eyes shone through, bright beneath the crimson mask.

At all.

RHL is mad

Wow... that scared me... Hell hath no fury indeed...

@Wolfbane: Glad you finally posted it! And I swear it didn't seem that long in the PM... wow. I'm glad it turned out the way it did though. I thought the fantasy twist was very interesting and I'm happy that I could be of some help to you. I hope you write many more fics in the future!

[UncleWolf]

@Dirk: Great job.

RHL is mad

Wow... that scared me... Hell hath no fury indeed...

@Wolfbane: Glad you finally posted it! And I swear it didn't seem that long in the PM... wow. I'm glad it turned out the way it did though. I thought the fantasy twist was very interesting and I'm happy that I could be of some help to you. I hope you write many more fics in the future!

Thanks
I'll write some more in the future but not until after a long break though. Ugh. I also thought that it was shorter.
Huh, oh well.

[Cristo Meyers]

Thanks
I'll write some more in the future but not until after a long break though. Ugh. I also thought that it was shorter.
Huh, oh well.

Amazing how they just kinda sneak up on ya, isn't it?

If someone had told me I'd be on episode 18 of Dark Moon Rising with no end in sight (well...not quite true, I know how it ends...it's just getting there that's the bugger), I'd have laughed.

[TwoBitWriter]

Amazing how they just kinda sneak up on ya, isn't it?

If someone had told me I'd be on episode 18 of Dark Moon Rising with no end in sight (well...not quite true, I know how it ends...it's just getting there that's the bugger), I'd have laughed.

Don't you mean, I Have No Life?

I got a Doctor's appointment later this morning, but I have nearly finished writing the second chapter of Bolt-Action Spell Casting and intend to post it around my lunch break.

[Cristo Meyers]

Don't you mean, I Have No Life?

We know, we know, you have no life, you don't need to bold it...

I got a Doctor's appointment later this morning, but I have nearly finished writing the second chapter of Bolt-Action Spell Casting and intend to post it around my lunch break.

...maybe this time I won't get shot. Seems like something happens to me anytime I'm in a fic with you, I'm starting to feel like that guy from The Mummy Returns.

"Everytime I go anywhere with you I get shot! Last time I got shot in the ass!"

[TwoBitWriter]

...maybe this time I won't get shot. Seems like something happens to me anytime I'm in a fic with you, I'm starting to feel like that guy from The Mummy Returns.

"Everytime I go anywhere with you I get shot! Last time I got shot in the ass!"

Its only a manifestation of my ultimate jealousy and rage toward your writing skills

In all seriousness, in BASC, you are kinda the main protagonist. You can expect to take a few hard knocks...

[UncleWolf]

@CM:(I bet the forum thought I'd forget ) I still can't wait to see you as Cristo-Lou Who.

I know, I know, I'm going to die in a painful and humiliating way. You've said it before,

[Cristo Meyers]

Its only a manifestation of my ultimate jealousy and rage toward your writing skills

In all seriousness, in BASC, you are kinda the main protagonist. You can expect to take a few hard knocks...

Main...protagonist? In a fic that I'm not writing myself?

...I don't think this has ever happened to me before...

[TwoBitWriter]

*Grips your hand gently, snuggles* Its okay if its your first time... It will come naturally to you...

Seriously, need to get some stuff done at work now that I have that doctor's appointment...

[Mordokai]

Main...protagonist? In a fic that I'm not writing myself?

...I don't think this has ever happened to me before...

*sniff* My little brother... all grown up!

I'm so proud of you!

*hugs*

[UncleWolf]

*Grips your hand gently, snuggles* Its okay if its your first time... It will come naturally to you...

Well, now I know what I'm going to do next.

@V: Huh, I guess you are completely ignoring me now. This'll be fun.

[Cristo Meyers]

*Grips your hand gently, snuggles* Its okay if its your first time... It will come naturally to you...

Seriously, need to get some stuff done at work now that I have that doctor's appointment...

*cripples with a combination of small arms fire and hand to hand techniques*

[Mauve Shirt]

Reading this made me want to write something in Seussian rhymes...
I may or may not be back.

[Dirk Kris]

A Night to Forget starring Dirk Kris/CurlyKitGirl (who I really hope doesn't mind!)

Spoiler

Show

"So, babe, you ready for tonight? I've got something I want to talk to you about, and it's kind of important."
"Yeah, I know, you've told me, like, 100 times. What's the big deal?"
"You'll see. I love you, pick you up at 8."
"Love you too, bye."

They hung up, Dirk still wearing the dopey grin he'd had since he started forming his master plan. He pulled the velvety black box out of his pocket and admired the ring for the thousandth time. It wasn't large, but it was sparkly and clear. He only hoped she would accept.

He set out to put everything in order. First stop, the package store he had ordered the champagne and silver ice bucket from. He got everything together and a big thumbs-up from the owner. Then, down to the beach. He hiked to the spot he'd found, the perfect spot, spread out the blanket, weighted it down with some rocks he rolled down from behind the dunes. He set up the candlesticks and the bucket and nodded, satisfied.

Dirk got to work on the sand. He spent more than an hour crafting his grand design with immaculate detail. A giant heart, long flowing letters spelling out his message - "Curly, will you marry me?" He stepped back, smiled, and adorned it with a few pretty shells he found closer to the surf. Checking his watch, he cursed quietly, then ran back to his car to head home and get ready.

At 8:00 sharp, he picked her up. She was wearing a long, slinky dress and four-inch heels to make up for their height difference. Her hair was delicately curled and gathered up so that a few tendrils spilled down to frame her face. Dirk gaped, unable to speak for a moment.

Curly grinned. "I take it that means you think I look nice?" Dirk merely nodded. "Well, good. You made such a big deal about it, I figured I'd want to be pretty."

Managing a smile, Dirk stepped close and kissed her forehead tenderly. "Baby, you're always pretty, but I've never seen you more beautiful. You look perfect."

Grinning, they walked arm in arm to the car, where he opened the door for her. He walked around, got in on his side, and started driving. He pressed a button on the CD player, which started spitting out some of their favorite songs - a mix CD he'd made. Curly grinned and bopped along to the music, singing little snatches here and there. Dirk grinned and just drove.

As they got close to the beach, traffic suddenly stopped. Dirk frowned and noticed several cars turning around and driving back the way they'd come. Slowly they inched forward, until they saw a police officer directing everyone to turn around.

Dirk rolled down his window to see what was going on. The officer spotted him and trotted over. "Sorry son, there's been an accident. The road's closed, probably for the next several hours at least. You two have a safe evening, alright?"

Sighing, Dirk put the window back up and turned around. Curly just patted his shoulder comfortingly. Suddenly, he spotted a beach access sign. Great, we can pull in there and just walk up the beach. Hoorah! Pulling in, he grabbed a light blanket from the backseat and handed it to Curly. "Here, baby. Put this on. It gets breezy down here at night."

Curly raised an eyebrow, then shrugged and took the blanket. Stepping out of the car, she wrapped it around her shoulders like a shawl, then leaned against Dirk. He slipped an arm around her and led the way.

Apparently, they were further away than he'd planned. After an hour, Curly complained that her feet hurt, her heels constantly being sucked into the sand. Finally she kicked off her shoes and walked barefoot, Dirk with his arm around her. At last, he could see something on the beach ahead of them - the spot! Grinning like a schoolboy, he grabbed Curly's hand and led her there.

"What's this, babe?" Dirk just grinned and knelt to light the candles. As he did, the scene came into view, the champagne, the candles, the stars twinkling over the ocean. Curly sighed happily. "Oh, it's beautiful!" She sat to start rubbing her aching feet, then a quiet rumbling was heard. Dirk looked up, frowning. Curly ducked her head a little, embarrassed. "Oh, that's my stomach. I've been a little under the weather with a cold, so I didn't eat anything today." Dirk's eyes went to the champagne. Curly noticed and smiled. "No, it's fine. I can have a little - don't worry about me getting all drunk and embarrassing you.

Dirk came over and kissed her hand. "Never, sweetie." With a mysterious smile, he took one of the candlesticks and headed towards the surf. He turned to look back at Curly - she really was beautiful. Suddenly, he felt something wet. Looking down, he found himself with a wave splashing around his feet. "What the-" He spotted a faint mark in the sand, a downward point, a shell just inside it. The tide had come in and washed his design away. "Mother fu- no, it'll be fine. Come on, Dirky boy. You'll just have to do this the good old-fashioned way.

Dirk made his way back up the shore to Curly and the blanket. As she sat watching the waves, he opened the champagne. He poured a little into the pair of glasses he'd stashed away, then covertly pulled out the ring box. Grinning, he dropped the ring with a tiny splash into one of the glasses, then moved over to sit next to Curly. She smiled and leaned her head against him. Suddenly terrified, Dirk shook his head and tossed back the contents of his glass without even tasting it. It made his throat feel a little scratchy on the way down, but he chalked it up to nervousness. He poured himself another glass, then handed Curly's to her. She took it with a smile and sipped the champagne, content just to be there with him.

They sat there for a while, exchanging small talk, sharing a few jokes and laughs, watching the sea and cuddling together for warmth. Dirk polished off his fourth glass of champagne and poured Curly her third. Idly he wondered how she had missed the ring and eyed her glass in the light of the candles. It was totally, completely empty. He double checked his own glass - empty. With a sudden sinking feeling, he realized what had happened. A tiny bit of cold steel seemed to form in his stomach. That scratchy feeling from the first glass of champagne? The ring - he'd swallowed it. He cursed silently, balling his hands into fists and looking to the sky as if to ask the gods why they would do this to him.

Hanging his head in defeat, he turned to give Curly her glass.

She was passed out. He nudged her, and she mumbled something about Nyquil. He nudged her again and Curly peeked one eye open. "Hmmm, what? Oh, ready to talk about why you brought me out here?"

The cold feeling in the pit of his stomach got worse. Curly yawned, then fell asleep again. Sighing, Dirk cuddled her in his arms and held her. He fidgeted a bit, thinking of the discomfort he was sure was ahead. "I'll, uh...tell you in a few days, babe."

[TwoBitWriter]

A Night to Forget starring Dirk Kris/CurlyKitGirl (who I really hope doesn't mind!)

Spoiler

Show

"So, babe, you ready for tonight? I've got something I want to talk to you about, and it's kind of important."
"Yeah, I know, you've told me, like, 100 times. What's the big deal?"
"You'll see. I love you, pick you up at 8."
"Love you too, bye."

They hung up, Dirk still wearing the dopey grin he'd had since he started forming his master plan. He pulled the velvety black box out of his pocket and admired the ring for the thousandth time. It wasn't large, but it was sparkly and clear. He only hoped she would accept.

He set out to put everything in order. First stop, the package store he had ordered the champagne and silver ice bucket from. He got everything together and a big thumbs-up from the owner. Then, down to the beach. He hiked to the spot he'd found, the perfect spot, spread out the blanket, weighted it down with some rocks he rolled down from behind the dunes. He set up the candlesticks and the bucket and nodded, satisfied.

Dirk got to work on the sand. He spent more than an hour crafting his grand design with immaculate detail. A giant heart, long flowing letters spelling out his message - "Curly, will you marry me?" He stepped back, smiled, and adorned it with a few pretty shells he found closer to the surf. Checking his watch, he cursed quietly, then ran back to his car to head home and get ready.

At 8:00 sharp, he picked her up. She was wearing a long, slinky dress and four-inch heels to make up for their height difference. Her hair was delicately curled and gathered up so that a few tendrils spilled down to frame her face. Dirk gaped, unable to speak for a moment.

Curly grinned. "I take it that means you think I look nice?" Dirk merely nodded. "Well, good. You made such a big deal about it, I figured I'd want to be pretty."

Managing a smile, Dirk stepped close and kissed her forehead tenderly. "Baby, you're always pretty, but I've never seen you more beautiful. You look perfect."

Grinning, they walked arm in arm to the car, where he opened the door for her. He walked around, got in on his side, and started driving. He pressed a button on the CD player, which started spitting out some of their favorite songs - a mix CD he'd made. Curly grinned and bopped along to the music, singing little snatches here and there. Dirk grinned and just drove.

As they got close to the beach, traffic suddenly stopped. Dirk frowned and noticed several cars turning around and driving back the way they'd come. Slowly they inched forward, until they saw a police officer directing everyone to turn around.

Dirk rolled down his window to see what was going on. The officer spotted him and trotted over. "Sorry son, there's been an accident. The road's closed, probably for the next several hours at least. You two have a safe evening, alright?"

Sighing, Dirk put the window back up and turned around. Curly just patted his shoulder comfortingly. Suddenly, he spotted a beach access sign. Great, we can pull in there and just walk up the beach. Hoorah! Pulling in, he grabbed a light blanket from the backseat and handed it to Curly. "Here, baby. Put this on. It gets breezy down here at night."

Curly raised an eyebrow, then shrugged and took the blanket. Stepping out of the car, she wrapped it around her shoulders like a shawl, then leaned against Dirk. He slipped an arm around her and led the way.

Apparently, they were further away than he'd planned. After an hour, Curly complained that her feet hurt, her heels constantly being sucked into the sand. Finally she kicked off her shoes and walked barefoot, Dirk with his arm around her. At last, he could see something on the beach ahead of them - the spot! Grinning like a schoolboy, he grabbed Curly's hand and led her there.

"What's this, babe?" Dirk just grinned and knelt to light the candles. As he did, the scene came into view, the champagne, the candles, the stars twinkling over the ocean. Curly sighed happily. "Oh, it's beautiful!" She sat to start rubbing her aching feet, then a quiet rumbling was heard. Dirk looked up, frowning. Curly ducked her head a little, embarrassed. "Oh, that's my stomach. I've been a little under the weather with a cold, so I didn't eat anything today." Dirk's eyes went to the champagne. Curly noticed and smiled. "No, it's fine. I can have a little - don't worry about me getting all drunk and embarrassing you.

Dirk came over and kissed her hand. "Never, sweetie." With a mysterious smile, he took one of the candlesticks and headed towards the surf. He turned to look back at Curly - she really was beautiful. Suddenly, he felt something wet. Looking down, he found himself with a wave splashing around his feet. "What the-" He spotted a faint mark in the sand, a downward point, a shell just inside it. The tide had come in and washed his design away. "Mother fu- no, it'll be fine. Come on, Dirky boy. You'll just have to do this the good old-fashioned way.

Dirk made his way back up the shore to Curly and the blanket. As she sat watching the waves, he opened the champagne. He poured a little into the pair of glasses he'd stashed away, then covertly pulled out the ring box. Grinning, he dropped the ring with a tiny splash into one of the glasses, then moved over to sit next to Curly. She smiled and leaned her head against him. Suddenly terrified, Dirk shook his head and tossed back the contents of his glass without even tasting it. It made his throat feel a little scratchy on the way down, but he chalked it up to nervousness. He poured himself another glass, then handed Curly's to her. She took it with a smile and sipped the champagne, content just to be there with him.

They sat there for a while, exchanging small talk, sharing a few jokes and laughs, watching the sea and cuddling together for warmth. Dirk polished off his fourth glass of champagne and poured Curly her third. Idly he wondered how she had missed the ring and eyed her glass in the light of the candles. It was totally, completely empty. He double checked his own glass - empty. With a sudden sinking feeling, he realized what had happened. A tiny bit of cold steel seemed to form in his stomach. That scratchy feeling from the first glass of champagne? The ring - he'd swallowed it. He cursed silently, balling his hands into fists and looking to the sky as if to ask the gods why they would do this to him.

Hanging his head in defeat, he turned to give Curly her glass.

She was passed out. He nudged her, and she mumbled something about Nyquil. He nudged her again and Curly peeked one eye open. "Hmmm, what? Oh, ready to talk about why you brought me out here?"

The cold feeling in the pit of his stomach got worse. Curly yawned, then fell asleep again. Sighing, Dirk cuddled her in his arms and held her. He fidgeted a bit, thinking of the discomfort he was sure was ahead. "I'll, uh...tell you in a few days, babe."

Wow... and I thought the night that I proposed on went all wrong!

It was very sweet, and funny. I think the best part is that it is so true to life, I can honestly see something like this happening.

Next part is spoilered to not ruin the ending:

Spoiler

Show

That is why you don't put the ring into your drinks/food!

[Cristo Meyers]

Dirk: That was about as cute as they come

Wow... and I thought the night that I proposed on went all wrong!

Remind me to tell you about the day I went to buy the ring...