Helping IntSec with their inquieries.

[Evil DM Mark3]

One of the tech guys looks at you. It's a gun.

[Aergoth]

Eric-R-Tat-1
Eric attaches the badge to his arm and puts on the (fairly ridiculous) hat and the backpack. Eric acquires one of the standard grenades which he puts, carefully, into the backpack along with a pistol barrel. Eric holds up the Vidcam in time to watch the (rather amusing) mistake of the team leader as he drops the grenade. He twitches as it drops, continuing to follow it with the camera.
"Smile for the Camera."

Spoiler

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Tick: Eric twitches in the presence of fire, in this case he expects the grenade to explode, killing them all.

[BornAgainGamer]

BARGY-R-GEE-1 Hygeine Officer

Bargy moved to the table and picked up a laser barrel and special grenade, as instructed by his glorious team leader, and stowed them for later use. He then dutifuly stood in line behind RUBIKS-R-QUB-1. He beamed his bestest smile "Thank You team leader BOB-R-BOB-1 and thank you friend computer. I have never been in 4th position before and I think it is probably my best position. I'm particularly happy to be standing behing RUBIKS-R-QUB-1 as I feel he and his butt, errrr, I mean bot, are most in need of my role as hygeine officer"

Bargy took out his PDC and started mumbling in a low voice into the recorder.

GM Eyes Only:

Spoiler

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I feel that putting secret stuff in the spoiler block is a better paranoia inducement than a pm. And you can punish anyone later who obviously picked up info from a spoiler.
Anyway, can I record RUBIKs response to my calling his cleanliness into question?

pm on it's way also.

[Evil DM Mark3]

The YELLOW clearance briefer starts talking again. Work out who doesn't get a special grenade later, this is yoru breifing:

• A while ago a team that had been sent Outdoors was ambushed by Communists or Mutants, whiping them out. As they died so far from the Complex their MemoMax decayed and as such we do not have a record of the cause of their deaths.
• An object was found on them that an Old Reckoning expert in R&D has identified as a McGuffin.
• The "McGuffin" was to be transfered to the personal care of Vincent-V-OLT-4, Chief of Northen Segment R&D.
• In its place he recived a box of Cold Fun coupons.
• Begin your search at the PLC office for this sector (Sector 9), located on level 3. They where responcible for the dispatch.
• They are not cleared to know what the object was, you may only inform them you are tracing a packadge. The dispatched package ID is 64732465/ASDFFG-YU.
• Return here for a full de-breifing. All records of this mission on your Vidcorder will be downloaded dirctly to IntSec Sector 9 Primary core.
• Disclosure of any information related to your mission is Treason.
• In addition Technical Services have placed a request for you to perform a special service for them. A large number of BBB autovends in the Segment have began to malfunction. Using this Unlimited Credit MESPECIAL card you will purchase a can of BBB from every Autovend you locate and determine it's status. You will be awareded 30cr each for each malfunctioning Autovend you find. Do not attempt to tamper with the Autovends. You are not cleared for maintaince. You are not to missuse the MESPECIAL.

The team leader is then handed the MESPECIAL, everyone is given a Mark III laser pistol body.

Your assignment has now officialy begun. Please vacate the briefing room.

[DJDeMiko]

Bob-R-BOB-1

Whoops, I guess equipment guy does not get a special.

[Evil DM Mark3]

The briefing officer coughs pointedly.

[DJDeMiko]

Bob-R-BOB-1

"Ok men, lets head out!"

Bob-R-BOB-1 starts to leave.

[Aergoth]

Eric-R-TAT-1

Eric follows just behind the team leader, pistol body now firmly attached to one of his two barrels. He aims the camera just over the leaders shoulder so as to catch as much of the action as possible, without liability of damaging his wonderful equipment.

[BornAgainGamer]

BARGY-R-GEE-1

Bargy used his PDC to record ERIC's insubordination. After all, BOB had made it clear what the movement order should be and ERIC was definitely supposed to be in last place.

He examined the Mark III laser pistol body and fitted the red laser barrel to it. "Hmmm", he thought, "Not a touch on my precious sword". Bargy smiled a big computer-loving smile at the thought of chopping commie traitors to small pieces using his lovely precious sword.

"Now, Bob, as Team hygiene officer, I recommend a thorough hygiene check of all troubleshooters, before we commence our mission. After all, a clean troubleshooter is a happy troubleshooter and failure to be happy at all times is treason"

"Who's first", he enquires, brandishing the PHT skin core sampler and accidentally-on-purpose setting it to maximum depth. He resisted the urge to shout "Here's Johnny" as knowledge of old reckoning vids would get him into serious trouble.

[Sicarius]

Rubiks-R-QUB-1

"Citizen Bargy-R-GEE, is there a difficulty in determining my gender? Rubiks-R took her assigned equipment. She gave her best pose toward the camera, looking like a Troubleshooter ready for action. She also winked at the camera in her best Teela-O impression.

[Aergoth]

Eric, in his appointed place behind Bob continued to film the mustering of the troubleshooters as they prepared to begin searching for the McGuffin. With one hand he adjusts his hat, changing the lighting subtly as he covers the rest of the group.

[BornAgainGamer]

BARGY-R-GEE-1

"Nngggg" Bargy smiled sheepishly "These drugs are damnnnnnn good". He gives the PHT a meaningful look "This looks almost as much fun as my precious sword"

[Sicarius]

"Citizen Bargy-R-GEE, are you misusing mandated pills to the point where your vision is affected. Couldn't that affect your mission performance, Citizen? Do you believe that we should not take care of ourselves, as failure to do so may be considered treason?" Rubiks-R-QUB asks pointedly.

Spoiler

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It's not Paranoia if the fun doesn't start before the mission begins!

[Evil DM Mark3]

Hey is that a Mark 18 PHT? Prone to chip wear from idling if you don't use it regularly but 7% more accurate than the old Mark 17s.

[BornAgainGamer]

BARGY-R-GEE-1

Bargy mumbles his response, only loud enough for Rubiks to hear, "Whatever you say Sweetcheeks".

With much more volume he called out, "Just taking my regulation doses, as instructed by friend computer. Maybe you wouldn't have this attitude problem if you were following your programme as prescribed, Rubiks." he winked over-obviously.

A smile lit up his face and his hand shifted imperceptibly towards the hilt of his sword - just in case.

[BornAgainGamer]

BARGY-R-GEE-1

Turning to Izzy, the happiness officer, "Hey, I think we have a bit of a team happiness problem over here. You should get onto that pdq, before RUBIKS loses it", Bargy grins the grinniest grin of a grinny grin monster.

[Jokes]

Izzy-R-DOC Happiness Officer

Izzy picks up his gear from the table, smiling as he runs his fingers along the D-gun. He's about to take his place in the order when Bargy and Rubiks start their squabble.

"Is Rubiks not taking her pills? She doesn't seem happy. Happiness is mandatory." He rumages through the bag of pills, looking for anything that can "remedy" this situation.

[Evil DM Mark3]

You have the following in the bag:

• A copy of the complete "Jakobot in Jodhpurs" moral enhancing poems.
• Yearcycle 3 of the Dil-B-ORT comics.
• A bottle of Inner Happiness pills.
• A blister of 6 Wide Wake pills.
• A blister of 3 Wider Awake pills.
• A pint bottle of E-Z-DUZ-IT (does 1 swig)
• A happiness glove (shaped in the shape of a funny looking Infra Red registered mutant).
• A pad of Approved Humour.

[Jokes]

Izzy HapO

Reaching into the bag, Izzy stares intently at Rubiks, and his eyes grow serious and his smile fades. "I think you need..." With a flourish he pulls the happiness glove, planted firmly on his hand. "Fun!" Smiling again, he waves his hand about, making the glove-mutant dance. He finishes the display with a dance he dubs "the vertical worm" while singing, "let us go and walk in line, let us go and walk in line." Putting away the pill bag (but keeping the puppet on) he gets in line behind Team Leader Bob, where he stands and acts as if nothing happened.

[This would have been a lot funnier at a RL table ]

[Evil DM Mark3]

5 perversity!

Any post that gets me to laugh in real life deserves 5 perversity.

[Evil DM Mark3]

On rolling dice in this game:

Every dice roll is made by posting in one of the two following forms (code should be posted without the spaces):

For rolls that people will know you are making (shooting a rampaging mutant, trying to get resources from PLC, fixing a broken bot) post as follows:

Spoiler

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Roll (speciality): Value
Perversity spent: number (if any)
[ roll ]d20-perversity spent (or + perversity spent if you want to fail)[ /roll ]

Before a certain amount of time passes and I resolve the (decided by whatever I feel) anyone else can post to raise or lower the roll by a number of perversity points they spend. No one can every spend perversity more than once.

If the roll (when resolved) is equal to or lower than the target number then it succeeds, the greater the difference the better. Otherwise it fails. A 1 is always a pass and a 20 a failure, regardless of perversity.

Example:
Violence (Energy Weapons): 10
Perversity spent: 4
(d20-4)[4]

If the roll is done in secret:

Spoiler

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Exactly as above only post as follows:

SECRET ROLL
(D20-4)[7]

EDIT:My error, I put a -4 in. Do not do this citizen.

The type of roll, target value and the perversity you spend are kept secret, PMed to me alone. Others may still spend perversity however. The others may not necessarily even discover the result of the role mind you.

In addition to your skills I should mention that you have two not listed abilities, Power and Access. Power is the strength of your Mutant power (set at 0 if you don't have one). Access is your ability to negotiate the bureaucracy of Alpha Complex. You have these, but do not know what their values are.

[DJDeMiko]

Bob-R-BOB-1

"Team, as your intrepid leader i think we should exit this room and then we will commence with hygiene inspection!"

[Evil DM Mark3]

The Loyalty Officer's PDC has just started to play "I love Friend Computer", the current #1 loyalty song on HPD & Mind Control Chart and as such the notification that you have received a personal message from The Computer.

Spoiler

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I love friend computer
it makes me feel alright
every waking hour
and every lonely night
I love friend computer
for all it gives to me
free from treason, errors and duplicity
and it's never been quite so easy
I've never been quite so happy
all I need to do is listen to you
and I will be joined
in the most pain-less way
and I'll never
ever ruin my superior's day
cuz when your through I just click
and I'll just go your way

I love friend computer
it's always knows what's best
I get well on
when I listen to you
I love Friend computer
I never ask for more
I can be your thinker
or I can be your labour-our
and it's never been quite so easy
I've never been quite so happy
the world outside is so big
but it's safe in your domain
because to you
I'm just a number
and a colour coded name
all I need to do is listen to you
and we'll be together for eternity
and no one is ever gonna take my love
from me because you've got Internal Security,
with their eye on me.

[DJDeMiko]

Bob-R-Bob-1

Bob-R-BOB-1 tries to march in tune to the song, but fails terribly.

[BornAgainGamer]

BARGY-R-GEE-1

Hearing the words that he was waiting for from his team leader, Bargy knew that he was shortly to fulfil his destiny. From the very moment he rose from the vats he was preparing for this day. He would perform the greatest hygiene inspection that the Alpha complex had ever seen.

He got into line and began humming the catchy tune as he waited for BOB to lead them out. "m mmm mmm mmm-mmm-mm ..."

[Evil DM Mark3]

In order to keep the game flowing I will assume you have got out of the breifing room by 7:00AM tomorrow GMT.

[Evil DM Mark3]

OK you are all stood, standing, outside of the Sector 9 IntSec building. In front of you is a plaza with a Sector map in the middle and, beyond that, a Transtube station. There are several Autovends at the Transtube station, two of which are BBB Autovends and a third that is a Multivend that serves BBB.

[BornAgainGamer]

BARGY-R-GEE-1

"Ok, time for hygeine inspection - a clean troubleshooter is a happy troubleshooter. Who wants to go first?" enquires Bargy.

While waiting he continues humming and tapping his foot to the tune of 'I love friend computer'.

[Jokes]

Izzy HapO

Izzy smiles and raises his puppet hand. "I'll go."

[Evil DM Mark3]

OK. Assuming everyone gets tested, anyone want to spend perversity on the rolls?